RariTwi: Love is War

by SigmasonicX


1. Rarity Wants to Be Asked Out

A proper day of classes began with tea. The princess and student council president, Twilight Sparkle, and the student council vice president, Rarity, sat on couches on either side of a communal work table on a calm Wednesday morning.

For the princess, her preference was black tea with a small amount of sugar as she looked through her schedule for the day, the week, and the month while she’s at it.

Her coworker, Rarity, sipped at an herbal blend as she looked through a fashion magazine before she got to her council work.

This peace was interrupted by a short purple dragon bursting through the council room’s doors with his cheeks puffed and lips sealed shut. He ran to Twilight and dust burst from his mouth, forming two golden tickets that floated down to his hands.

“Got a delivery for you, Twilight,” said Spike the dragon. “Looks like two tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala!”

Twilight thanked Spike, then leaned over and picked up the tickets. At that, Spike quickly gave a nervous glance to Rarity then attempted to sneak out without drawing attention. Rarity looked at him over the rim of her teacup, eyebrow raised slightly.

The princess looked at the tickets front and back as though making sure they weren’t counterfeit. “This is strange. Princess Celestia knows I don’t go to galas, so why would she send me tickets to the biggest gala of them all?”

“Perhaps she assumed you found someone by now,” Rarity suggested. “Especially when you’re running the student council with the most gorgeous girl in Canterlot.”

Twilight smiled. “I can’t imagine she would assume that.”

“Ah, so she realized that if we were together, work would grind to a halt as you spent the day shamelessly flirting with me, and Celestia herself would have to drag us apart.”

“I think I’m more than capable of flirting and doing my work.” Rarity leaned forward with interest, and Twilight quickly added, “This is a professional environment, however, so that would never come up.”

Rarity responded by gasping, putting the back of her hand to her forehead, closing her eyes, and resting her head on the top of the couch. “Alas, I suppose that only leaves the rest of the campus for you to work your magic.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Anyway, Rarity, you wanted to go to the Gala, right? I suppose I wouldn’t be opposed to going if it was with a friend.”

All too easy. “My, Princess Twilight Sparkle, are you asking me out? I thought that wasn’t allowed in a professional environment.”

Twilight giggled and waved her hand. “No, just as friends.”

Rarity hummed then took a sip of her tea. “How very interesting. You set up this entire scenario to have a friendly outing at the Gala?”

Twilight froze and put on a decidedly more fake looking smile as Rarity placed her tea on the table. “Set up? Whatever do you mean? I was just asking you, you know, off-the-cuff.”

“You were far too sloppy, darling. Spike strolled in here and just happened to receive two Gala tickets right in front of us? You and I both know Spike doesn’t know he’s getting a delivery until it’s coming out of his mouth. You tried so hard to make it look like you only now received those tickets, when I’d have sooner believed that if Spike came in here with the tickets already in hand.”

“I admit, it is a bit unusual that Spike would know to come here before getting the tickets, but claiming conspiracy is a bit—”

Rarity held up a finger. “That’s just one clue, my dear Twilight. No matter how much you try to hide it, there was an undeniable change in your behavior around me recently. Avoiding eye contact, you and Spike getting quiet when I come in. Your not so subtle attempts to figure out what I’d be interested in at the Gala. Through these, I can pinpoint the exact day you got these tickets from Celestia.”

Rarity closed her eyes, turned her head to the side, and lightly flicked her hair, then half opened her eyes. “It was exactly three days ago.”

Twilight’s eyes widened and small points of sweat appeared on her face.

“My, my, for what reason could you possibly wait three days before telling anyone else about these tickets? Any ideas, Princess?”

“Well, uh, maybe I forgot about the tickets and then thought it would be awkward if I brought them up days later, so I wanted to sort of get a do over?”

“Hmm, perhaps someone would do that, but not you. What I think happened is that you received tickets and then proceeded to examine every possible way to use them. Only after days of thinking did you come up with this plan to ask me out as a friend. And I’m sure you have all kinds of ideas to turn this friendly outing into a very romantic date.”

Rarity took a sip of tea, giving Twilight a moment to respond, but right as she opened her mouth, Rarity said, “Folders and folders of ideas. Need we search your room, or are you ready to come clean?” Twilight’s mouth closed.

Rarity placed her tea on the table, crossed her legs, lightly rested her cheek on the knuckles of her right hand, and gave Twilight a smile with half-lidded eyes. “Now, Princess. What were you saying about this being off-the-cuff?”

Sweat rolled down Twilight’s face.

Rarity felt bad for her darling. While it is true she observed Twilight acting oddly and from there figured out what she was up to, she wouldn’t have paid so much attention if it weren't for one thing. She knew exactly when Twilight received the tickets. She was there when Celestia sent them to her.





Even at Canterlot Royal Academy, Sundays were a time of rest for most students. For the student council vice president, however, the Sunday of three days ago marked the culmination of her plans.

“My, what a fantastic job,” Princess Celestia said as she admired a curtain partially covering a window looking out over the campus. “I can’t even tell it was ever torn.”

“Your praise is much appreciated, Your Highness,” said Rarity, tightly gripping a sewing kit to her chest. “I didn’t wish for one of your embroiderers to be bothered for such a small thing.”

Celestia certainly lived up as the ideal of beauty, with her unblemished dark skin and flowing hair the color of an aurora against a blue sky, but more than that, Rarity felt authority and power from her appearance. An aside glance was enough to make Rarity shiver. “You’ve done a lot of these small favors over the past two weeks. All out of generosity?”

“Generosity is in my nature, but I will admit I also have a simple desire to gain your favor.”

“I have no intention of pulling any strings for you, if that’s what you want.”

“I expect no such thing. You remembering my name will suffice.”

“Well in that case, I shall ask for something in return, Rarity. Tell me, is my student doing well in the council?”

Connecting with Princess Celestia was a goal of Rarity, to be sure, but this is what she was really after. After two weeks of effort, Twilight has at last come up in a casual conversation.

“Twilight has been an absolute dream. Our work has gone so smoothly under her that I hardly know what to do with my time.”

“She’s been getting along with everyone?”

“Yes, she’s getting along fabulously. She and Spike are practically inseparable, and I’ve never seen her get into a conflict with the other council members. She’s clever, charming, and well-mannered in a way befitting a princess.”

“How about outside the council?”

“She spends time with Spike of course, and I’ve seen her with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy often. Most of the time I see her, she’s focused on her books and her council work, however.”

Celestia put her finger to her chin and said under her breath, “Not as much progress as I hoped.”

“I admit, I do sense some distance between her and the other students, if that’s what you’re worried about. But she really has opened up since we first started working together. I think she only needs a small push to really blossom.” Rarity paused for a bit. “Oh, that’s right! I recall Twilight mentioning that she never attends any galas. Perhaps if she were to receive tickets to the most exclusive gala of the year, that may just push her to think about her classmates differently.”

Celestia tapped her finger on her cheek, then briefly gave Rarity a glace that she felt bore straight into her mind.

I played my hand too soon, thought Rarity. Surely Celestia of all people would be able to figure out my true intentions now.

Celestia lowered her hand from her face. “I think shaking Twilight out of her normal routine would be helpful. I appreciate your insight, Rarity.”

Rarity released a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

With a wave of her hand, two golden tickets appeared floating in front of Celestia, and with another wave, they dispersed into dust.

“Oh my, you sent Twilight the tickets already?”

“No time like the present. Would you like a ticket for yourself?”

“No, no, no, I couldn’t possibly.”

“Hmm. Well, that’s fine. I imagine you’ll get a ticket from a special someone soon enough. I enjoyed our chat, Rarity, but I have other business to attend to now.”

Rarity wasn’t quite sure what to make of what Celestia said, so she only responded with a quick goodbye and a curtsy.

In the past few weeks, Twilight and Rarity’s interactions had become rather rote. The introduction of Gala tickets served to get Twilight out of her comfort zone, and bolster Rarity’s chances of getting her to admit the feelings she must have for her. Rarity wasn’t precisely sure how Twilight would act, but she was confident her skills at improvising would outpace any plan Twilight could come up with.





Twilight chuckled. “You based much on how I’ve been acting, I see, but you failed to consider how much of it was faked.” A wave of her hand across her face revealed no sweat, and a cool and confident expression. “Your reaction to seeing me nervous, however, has revealed much.”

An obvious bluff. Rarity straightened her back and placed an elbow on the top of the couch. “What an impressive party trick. Were your eyes darting toward my legs when I crossed them part of the act too?”

Twilight blushed. “I did no such thing.”

Rarity found few tricks were more effective with Twilight than wearing a short skirt and thigh high socks. “In any case, I didn’t hear a denial of my theory.”

“That’s because you were right. I did, in fact, receive these tickets three days ago, and I did plan out this performance with Spike so you’d think I received the tickets just now. In truth, I expected you to see through this, but I hoped otherwise. For if you learned why I delayed telling you about the tickets, you would be…” Twilight paused to sip her tea. “... Overdramatic.”

Rarity scoffed as she uncrossed her legs and crossed her arms. “I expected better of you, Ms. Sparkle. I do not get overdramatic. I get precisely as dramatic as warranted.”

Twilight suddenly sprawled out on the couch. “Oh Rarity! Oh my stars and garters! Your respect for me has fallen so much I’m addressed by Ms. instead of Princess! Celestia, take my crown, I’m no longer worthy of it!” Using magic, she levitated to her an unopened carton of ice cream and a spoon and pretended to gobble up ice cream while sobbing. “Sound familiar?” she said playfully.

“Hmph, hardly,” Rarity said as she levitated the ice cream that was so rudely taken back into its icebox. “‘Stars and garters,’ my word.”

Twilight stuck her tongue out in response and—Sweet Celestia, she’s so adorable, Rarity thought. But no! I can’t afford to be distracted by fun conversations and friendly bonding, not when I’m so close to Twilight admitting her romantic intentions.

Rarity politely coughed and got back on topic, returning to her earlier pose with legs crossed. “I appreciate your consideration for me, but you confessing your feelings is simply inevitable, and hardly worth any drama. Now please, go ahead. You put so much work into this, after all.”

“Funny that you keep assuming I wanted to ask you out in particular. The fact of the matter is, I offered the extra ticket to people before you.”

Now this surprised Rarity, but she didn’t show it on her face. There had to be a trick behind this. “Is that so? Who, then?”

“Well, I received the Gala tickets when Mudbriar was in the room, so I offered it to him first.”

Mudbriar, the student council’s accountant. Maybe one of two, but for the life of her she couldn’t remember the other. He would surely corroborate this claim, if only because he seemed incapable of not being technically accurate when he spoke. Twilight could be lying and counting on Rarity’s distaste for talking to him, but she could hold her nose this one time easily enough. Assuming he wanted to attend the Gala, would he have taken the ticket?

As odd as it sounds, he has a girlfriend: Maud Pie, of the prestigious Pie family. Rarity wasn’t too familiar with her, outside of what Maud’s sister and the student council secretary, Pinkie Pie, has bragged, but she knew she didn’t attend previous Galas despite receiving tickets. She didn’t have a boyfriend during previous Galas, though. Twilight is closer to Pinkie than Rarity is, so if Maud was going to this year’s Gala, Twilight would have heard about it before her.

So that’s the trick, then.

“How very interesting. Who was next?” Rarity asked with a self assured smile.

“I ran into Octavia after that.”

She was already going, as a guest performer.

“Then I talked to Moondancer after I taught a lab.”

Twilight and Moondancer were both teaching assistants for magic courses and oversaw the students’ lab work. Rarity investigated Moondancer in the process of better understanding Twilight, and it was safe to assume she wouldn’t want to attend the Gala.

“Then there was Lemon Hearts.”

Already attending. This was all too easy.

“And last before you was Applejack.”

Rarity let out a short laugh. “Well there you have it, all those are people anyone could have figured out wouldn’t have accepted your tic—wait, did you say Applejack?” she said as her posture straightened and she placed both feet on the ground.

Twilight had a sly grin. “Yes I did.”

This made no sense. Applejack most definitely wanted to go to the Gala, and she and Rarity talked about that just yesterday. She intended to open a food stand there that was doomed to failure, and she was too stubborn to be convinced of that by Rarity. Did she change her mind?

That wasn’t the important part. If Twilight offered a ticket to Applejack knowing she would be turned down, then Twilight had to know something about Applejack and the Gala that Rarity didn’t. How did she pull that off?

“That’s quite a surprise,” Rarity said. “I assumed she’d accept a ticket from you. Did she say why not?”

“She already had a ticket.”

“Someone gave Applejack a ticket?”

Rarity frowned. How dare Applejack be asked out before her! This was the Trenderhoof incident all over again.

No, that was the wrong way to look at this. Who in the world would give Applejack a Gala ticket? And at such a convenient time between the last time Rarity talked to her and now?

Twilight and Rarity both knew that Applejack doesn’t lie, so Twilight wouldn’t make this up. Would Twilight have risked losing a ticket by asking Applejack without knowing if she’d take it or not? No, impossible. Not if Twilight wanted to invite Rarity to the Gala. Twilight knew Applejack would turn her down, and she knew this before Rarity did.

There was only one logical conclusion: Twilight had access to an extra ticket and she gave it to Applejack earlier.

Rarity closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. How did Twilight pull that off? She would have to know that Rarity would talk to Applejack after this conversation. Twilight giving Applejack a ticket and then giving her another ticket just so she could say Applejack turned her down was so easily exposed that it was hardly worth considering.

No, there has to be someone else that Twilight asked to give a ticket to Applejack. Who does Twilight know that Applejack would take a ticket from and she wouldn’t immediately connect with Twilight?

Rarity’s eyes opened wide. She couldn’t have. Would she really risk using Pinkie Pie for this? It’s impossible to get that girl to do exactly what you want. Even the most carefully laid plans crumble under her.

Focusing ahead, she saw that Twilight adopted a similar pose to her own earlier, with legs crossed and an expression of smug but extremely sexy confidence. Twilight wore a short black skirt over black tights that emphasized the curves of her thighs. Rarity dreamt of the day when she’d be able to rest her head on Twilight’s lap while she read a book with one hand and ran her fingers through Rarity’s hair with the other and—no, Rarity, you need to stop staring at her legs! I just teased her for doing just that, Rarity thought.

No matter how she looked at it, Pinkie was the only logical choice. Everyone else in the school knows she acts on her own, Twilight is close enough to her to know what she’s doing, and as part of the Pie family, she’d have her own pair of tickets. Given this information, what to do next? She had to prove that Twilight knew Pinkie gave a ticket to Applejack before she personally talked to Applejack, and then—

“Like what you see?” Twilight said.

Oh Celestia, I’m still looking at her legs, aren’t I?

Rarity’s brain devoted most of its energy to the Pinkie Pie problem, with little available to come up with a response.

“No,” Rarity said as she continued staring at Twilight’s legs. Thankfully, Twilight didn’t seem prepared for that answer.

This wasn’t working. Her brain couldn’t handle solving this problem and talking to Twilight. She needed more energy. She needed… sugar!

Rarity took the sugar container on the table and stirred its contents into her tea, creating a solid brown mass, and she downed the entire thing in one shot. Her eyes became wide and she stared straight ahead. Twilight could do nothing but stare back with surprise and discomfort, then awkwardly look away after ten seconds.

With a renewed sense of focus, Rarity reviewed the facts. The key is Pinkie Pie. How did Twilight convince her to give a ticket to Applejack, while guaranteeing Pinkie wouldn’t tell Applejack about Twilight? Or was there any convincing involved in the first place? Could Pinkie have given the ticket to Applejack completely on her own and Twilight chose to approach Applejack for that reason?

“As I’m sure you’ve realized,” Twilight said with confidence, choosing to ignore the past half-minute that Rarity sat in a sugar induced trance. “By offering a ticket to people before you, I’ve demonstrated that I only want to take you to the Gala as a friend. I chose not to tell you this because you weren’t my first, second, or even third choice, and I didn’t want to upset you. So let’s go… as friends.”

You haven’t beaten me yet, Princess, thought Rarity. If she were to give a yes or no here, Twilight would win, but all it takes is a simple, “I’ll think about it,” and then she’ll have time to interview Applejack and Pinkie Pie. This came with risks, as it left time for Twilight to come up with countermeasures, but surely she’ll get her hard evidence, and with the inroads she made here, she’d get it faster than Twilight could act.

Rarity smiled. By the end of the day, Twilight will admit her love. She opened her mouth. “I’ll th—”

The door slammed open and in bounced a light-skinned girl with curly pink hair. “Hey everyone! Guess whose name has two ‘p’s and has tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala!”

Startled from their battle of wits, Twilight looked at the girl for a bit before answering, “Pinkie Pie?”

“Nope! Well, yes, but not fully yes,” Pinkie Pie said. She reached into her hair. “The answer is Pinkie Pie and all her friends!” She pulled out not one or two, but a handful of Gala tickets.

“Darling, where did you,” Rarity started saying, but was cut off when Pinkie gave her a ticket.

“One for you.” She hopped to Twilight. “And one for you.”

Twilight blinked then stared at the three tickets she now had in front of her. One could have almost seen the steam coming out of her head as she calculated what this meant for her plans.

Only Rarity had the mental energy to comprehend what just happened. “Pinkie, dear, why do you have so many tickets?”

Pinkie stopped. “Well, I heard that Applejack really wanted to go to the Gala to open a food stand and I thought, I like food, so I gave her one of my tickets. But then I thought, oh wow, there are so many people in our class who could make the Gala so much more fun! So I went up to Princess Celestia and asked for more tickets.”

This broke Twilight out of the deadlock her brain was stuck in. “Wait, you asked Princess Celestia for what?”

“More tickets,” Pinkie said without shame.

Twilight stood up. “But, but, you can’t just ask Princess Celestia for more tickets!”

“Of course you can! How else would you get more tickets? Come on, Twilight,” she responded, rolling her eyes. “Anyone can just go to Celestia and ask for a ticket, easy peasy.”

Rarity was next to stand up. “Wait, anyone can just ask Celestia for a ticket?” Does that mean I didn’t have to subtly work my way into her good graces over two weeks? Rarity thought.

“Yes indeedy! Not sure why more people don’t, really.”

Perhaps because other people have the awareness to think randomly going up to an immortal princess of Equestria for a favor wouldn’t be received well.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Pinkie said as she hopped over to a green haired girl in a sweater and jeans with tanned skin, who was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room and tending to a potted plant. “A ticket for you too, Wallflower.”

“Uh, thanks,” said Wallflower Blush.

Twilight and Rarity both did a double take.

“Good heavens. Wallflower!” Rarity said. “When did you get here?” So there was indeed a second accountant in the student council, other than Mudbriar. Why did this girl keep slipping her mind?

Wallflower had an annoyed look on her face. “I got here the same time you two did.”

Twilight and Rarity looked at each other, then back at her with mutual embarrassment. “Oh.”

Pinkie scratched her hair and five more tickets fell to the ground. “Well, I need to go deliver a ticket to everyone in our class. All part of being the student council’s secretary party planner, or secreparty for short.”

Twilight hesitated to ask, “By our class, do you mean…?”

“Class of ‘21, silly! Although wait, I’m Class of ‘22, aren’t I? Well, I have tickets for them too. Everyone’s going to love the Gala!”

Twilight slouched back onto her couch. “Huh.”

As Pinkie started skipping out the room, Rarity remembered she had work to do. “Pinkie Pie, stop!” she yelled while pointing.

Pinkie froze mid-skip. “What is it, Rarity?”

“Did Twilight know you gave Applejack a ticket?”

“Duh, of course she did. I told both of you a minute ago!”

“No, I mean yesterday! Or earlier today!”

“How earlier today are we talking?”

“When did you last see Twilight today or yesterday?”

“That’s easy! Just now!”

“No, I mean before now!”

Pinkie winked and gave Rarity finger guns. “One infinitesimal sliver of time before now!”

“No, I mean did you see Twilight today, before you came into the student council room, and if not, did you see her yesterday after you last saw me yesterday, and did the subject of Applejack come up?”

Pinkie thought for a few seconds, then shrugged and made a mumbled, “I don’t know,” sound.

Rarity paused, rubbed her temples, and then sighed. “It doesn’t matter. You move along, dear.”

Pinkie smiled, then resumed skipping out the door and slammed it behind her.

Rarity moved back to her couch and slouched down in a similar manner to her would-be lover.

The three student council members continued sitting there without talking.

The clock ticked.

Eventually, Rarity got up. “Well, I have a class in…” She checked the clock. “Thirty minutes, so I better, uh, get going.” She lifted her Gala ticket in front of her. “And I suppose we’ll see each other at the Gala, friend?”

Twilight lifted up her three tickets and gave a big smile. “Sure, friend.”

When Rarity left, Twilight rolled her head back over the top of her couch and groaned.





“Hey Twilight,” Spike said as he walked into the student council room. “I just got a Gala ticket from Pinkie and—woah, you’ve been busy.”

Twilight was levitating several folders around her, pulling out sheets with images of locations at the Grand Galloping Gala site with prime romantic spots circled, first person accounts of romance at the Gala, and page after page of statistics.

“If I account for the crowd flow, then the best view should actually be three feet to the north,” Twilight said to herself. “But wait, this is near the food tables, and historically people have dropped food around here, so what if someone dropped their food here and everyone started walking around it and no one bothered to clean it up? Then the best spot would be here.”

Spike ducked under a diving folder. “So, guessing things didn’t go quite as planned?”

“Oh, no, it’s fine, it’s fine, I just have to revise all my heavily researched surefire romantic plans to account for two thousand extra people, but it’s fine.” Twilight’s face distorted into a confused grin. “And there’s also the fact that Rarity stared at my legs but then said she didn’t like looking at them but kept staring. What could that mean, Spike? What could that possibly mean?!” Twilight magically shook her folders and paper spilled out of them onto the ground.

“I, uh, think I need more context.”

Before Twilight could explain, the student council room’s wall-mounted mirror lit up behind her, and the face of a dark-skinned woman with sparkling blue hair appeared on it. “Princess Twilight Sparkle,” she said in a loud and commanding voice.

Twilight jumped in surprise and her folders fell to the ground. “Princess Luna! Good to see you.”

“Sorry to startle you. You would do well to learn that if you cover the magic mirror, then it won’t immediately answer my call and it will instead ring to alert you a call is coming.”

Twilight blushed. “Yes, I know how the magic mirror works. So, what are you calling about?”

Luna sighed. “As you might be aware, the Grand Galloping Gala has been… massively overbooked this year.”

Twilight had a nervous smile. “Yes, I’m aware of that.”

“To make things brief before the full report later, we have decided that it would be best to declare all tickets given out to Canterlot Royal Academy students null and void. Instead, there will be a separate event held at the same time as the Grand Galloping Gala, exclusively for students and faculty members. We determined this would be the best way to keep the Gala proper from becoming a fire hazard, and to give you students something to look forward to. You and the rest of the student council will be in charge of this new gala. More details will be forthcoming.”

Twilight’s smile became empty. “Thank you for informing me of this, Princess Luna.”

“You are welcome, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Luna paused for a few seconds. “Good bye.” The call ended.

Twilight’s eye twitched. Her folders and all her sheets disintegrated in magical fire, and she sat down in the ash.

Spike put his hand on her shoulder. “Look at it this way, Twilight. Now there won’t be more people at the Gala.”

“Personally, I’m glad I don’t have to go anymore,” said Wallflower Blush, still sitting in her chair.

Twilight and Spike both jumped up and screamed. “Wallflower!” Twilight exclaimed. “When did you get here?”