//------------------------------// // S.M.I.L.E.: It's the End of the World and You’re Late to the Pinkie Party // Story: Mission to the Pony Planet // by ersmiller //------------------------------// “You sure you’re okay, Bonnie?” “Y-yep! I’m okay. Why do y-you ask?” “You’re still shaking for one, and you’re practically choking the life out of our cloud.” Agent Drops looked up at her partner, then to the cloud fluff she was strangling in her hooves, then back to her partner, standing as if nothing was out of the ordinary. A glance over her other shoulder showed her the world passing rapidly underneath them just past the edge of their cloud. That edge was much too close. “I’ve never had the Cloudwalking spell cast on me before. How are you okay with this?” Agent Heartstrings chuckled. Chuckled! Drops held in a retort. “Easy! Almost half my extended family are pegasi. I used the Cloudwalking spell to watch my cousin in the Best Young Fliers Competition a few years ago when Rainbow Dash pulled off that rainboom, and you know I visit family in Las Pegasus a lot.” “But Las Pegasus has walkways for us ground ponies.” “Just the tourist traps. Most of the real town is clouds only.” Drops just muttered. “Come on,” Heartstrings held a hoof out to her partner, “we’re almost there. Right, fellas?” One of two pegasus S.M.I.L.E. couriers currently connected to a yoke and tied to the cloud waved a hoof. “Two minutes!” “See?” Heartstrings smiled. “Almost time for action. Got to get ready, and that means standing up.” Drops looked up. The hat she’d used as part of her disguise had long since blown away in the wind, and her once frizzy clown-like mane had de-poofed into long, curly locks that tangled about. Meanwhile, Heartstrings’s artificially purple mane and tail had gained only a few extra kinks. With a grumbled retort over the unfairness of the universe, Drops forced one hoof to let go of her stranglehold and gripp the offered pastern. As she continued to release the cloud, Heartstrings pulled her close, the cloud bouncing back into its hoof-crafted shape. “Much better!” Heartstrings cheered. “But I don’t get it. You’re an expert at hang-gliding, parachuting, ballooning, and you’re working on a pilot’s license. It’s not like you’re afraid of heights. What’s with you and clouds?” “I can control hang-gliders, parachutes, and aircraft.” “What about hot-air balloons?” “Hot-air balloons aren’t soft and lumpy, and don’t wobble like jello when you walk on them! Everything about this feels wrong.” Heartstrings just laughed. “Special Agent Sweetie Drops, monster hunter, defeated by a lumpy cloud.” Drops blushed. “We’re here!” called a courier, beginning to slow the cloud. Clearing her throat, Drops turned professional. “Check your harness.” Though she failed to hide a squeak in her voice. The Special Agents secured straps, checked their gear, and stuffed their colorful manes into white caps matching the fluffy, white bodysuits they donned for the stealthy trip. Meanwhile, the couriers steadied the cloud and began lowering it from their travel height down to the standard cloud height, aiming to discreetly merge it with a local cloud near their target. “In position.” Lying flat, Drops, Heartstrings, and the couriers looked out over the four cardinal edges of the cloud with binoculars and scanned the town of Ponyville. Drops lifted a hoof beside her muzzle and spoke to a communicator on her pastern. “This is Special Agent Sweetie Drops calling agents in the Ponyville region. Urgent message, please respond.” “I see Trixie’s caravan,” Heartstrings called. “It’s … smoking? Doesn’t seem to be anypony around though.” “There’s a crater and a trench just north of the palace,” the courier on the north edge observed. The communicator beeped and a static-filled voice came through it, “This is Agent Steed. Go ahead, Agent Drops.” “Do not impede Princess Sparkle and her crew. The ‘twins’ in her company are friendlies.” “Roger that, Drops. That’s been confirmed by Agent Diablo already.” Drops and Heartstrings traded a glance before Drops replied. “Good. What’s your status?” “Cleanup in progress. S.M.I.L.E.’s involvement largely hidden, though one Trixie Lulamoon still needs to be Ref Def'd. Other than that we’re helping out with town efforts as part of our cover.” “Trixie got involved after all?” “Declared herself the substitute savior of Ponyville.” Another glance was traded. This time with skeptical eyebrows. “Uh. And what was the result?” Drops asked. “Minor damages around town, no civilian injuries, and just some bruises and a minor burn injury on our … end.” There was some background chatter before the agent added more. “Agent Slowpoke will need tail extensions from the rocket fire.” More chatter. “I know that’s not your name and the pun was intended.” “Wha—?” “Don’t ask,” a different voice answered. “Just don’t ask.” Heartstrings chuckled. “Did that sound like Agent Bravo to you?” Drops smirked and let out a snerk but squashed it and continued her debriefing. “And what about the Princess and company?” “They were all inside the palace for a while after fighting some monster.” “Monster?” “It looked like Nightmare Moon but red and had fire for hair.” Heartstrings, Drops, and the two couriers turned to face each other. “And they won, right?” Drops asked. “Yes. Turned her into a young alicorn. Identity unknown. Amber fur, red and yellow hair. Unconscious at last sighting.” “Alicorn?“ asked a courier. “We’re up to six now?” "Seven," the other courier added. "But we don't talk about you know who." “Maybe the new alicorn has to do with that ‘trouble’ Agent Shiwa mentioned?” offered Heartstrings. Drops returned to the communicator. “Then what?” “Some time later, the Princess and what we can only assume are the other six members of F.R.O.W.N., including Green Fern, left in a hot-air balloon with Blue Begonia pulling them toward Canterlot at high speed. The unknown alicorn and ‘twins’ have unknown status.” “Saw a balloon earlier,” confirmed a courier. “Occupants were unable to identify from our altitude.” Heartstrings smiled. “If all of F.R.O.W.N. are going back to Canterlot, including Twilight, then the problem must be over. Their twins must have gone home.” “Mission accomplished,” Drops relaxed. “And the palace is empty,” Heartstrings all but squeed. “Cannot confirm palace status,” the agent on the communicator replied. “Anything more to report, Agent?” asked Drops. “Not at this time.” “Thank you. Drops signing off.” After closing the communicator’s connection, Drops turned to the others on the cloud, first addressing the couriers. “The two of you are welcome to join the cleanup efforts or you can return home.” Then Heartstrings. “We can go clean off these disguises.” “What about the portal?” Heartstrings rushed. “We have to check it out! You know. Confirm it for S.M.I.L.E. records.” “Yeah, that’s what you want to do with the portal.” “Of course, we would have to take a peek.” “No,” Drops declared. “Palace is empty.” “Unconfirmed.” “We brought our stealth gear.” “Too risky.” “It’s an active Starswirl relic. How much riskier can you get?” Drops sighed, but thought that over. “Fine,” she droned. Heartstrings pronked excitedly, the cloud’s fluffiness adding to the spring in her bounces. Drops rolled her eyes and turned to the couriers. “Your orders stand, but we’ll be making a drop. Wait till we’re inside, then retrieve our gear before you carry them out.” “”Yes ma’am,”” they replied. Drops then turned to her partner to see her already hooking her harness to the cloud grappling hook. She rolled her eyes again and hooked up beside her. Heartstrings giggled. “Not only do we get to see this portal, but I’ve always wanted to storm a castle. Ready?” Drops sighed but braced herself, “Ready.” With a flash of her horn, Heartstrings ended the Cloudwalking spell and the pair fell through the lumpy floor. The couriers watched them descend down the transparent line right over the roof of the Palace of Friendship, their white caps and fluffy bodysuits making them appear as pony-shaped clouds. *** *** *** After taking off their white cloud suits and retaining only the black stealth suits underneath, Drops and Heartstrings crept through the hall, one floor below the attic. The couriers had pulled their gear and white suits back up with the lines before flying the cloud away. “So far so good,” Drops commented. “So, where do you think a Princess of Friendship would store an ancient Starswirl relic leading to another world full of humanes?” Drops considered the size of the palace. Not so good. *** *** *** Room by room, floor by floor they searched until they heard voices and ducked into the next room. “I need a nap. I’ve been up for nearly forty hours now and that long-distance teleport really didn’t help.” “You do look pretty tired. Reminds me of when I get carried away on a research project. Spi—Paws or Sunset usually have to drag me away. I didn’t know ponies could get bags under their eyes too.” “Bags? They feel like buckets! But please wake me immediately if there’s any change.” “Of course. I’ll be sure to call as soon as there’s something to call about.” Drops whispered to Heartstrings. “What are the odds Twilight is just talking to herself?” “Very high, normally, but I think that’s actually two Twilights.” “Oh! By the way,” a Twilight continued. “I moved your wardrobe back to your room, I don’t know where you normally keep it, but I cleaned it up. I just assumed you’d organize your clothes like I would.” “By type first, then alphabetically by color, and then creation date?” another Twilight replied. “Yes! Found the dates on the tags!” The two Twilights giggled together. “Yeah,” Heartstrings, “there’s two of them.” “So the twins didn’t go home, and Purple Rose came back?” Drops whispered. “Does that mean all of them are here? We need to go.” Disappointed, Heartstrings nodded an agreement and they attempted to leave, only for hoofsteps to sound out, heading for them. Drops checked the room they were in for hiding places and realized they were in the Princess’s bedroom. “She’s coming here!” They dashed, looking for hiding spaces and the door opened a moment later revealing a purple alicorn. A very tired purple alicorn who nearly stumbled on her own hooves. She looked over at her wardrobe and chuckled. “Nah, let’s put you on the East wall, get more light in the mornings.” Lighting her horn, the wardrobe lifted and she frowned. “Wow, I gotta sleep, that’s way heavier than it should be.” She walked up to her bed and flopped onto it, falling asleep before her face hit the covers. The wardrobe, still in her magic, dropped to the floor in a heavy thud when the aura flickered out. The two Secret Agents hiding inside did their best to not make any noise as they were jostled to its floorboard. Heartstrings didn’t quite manage it when her rump made contact with a set of pointy, royal shoes. In the silence that followed, and in the complete absence of light, the agents waited. When some time passed without any evidence of activity, Heartstrings quietly removed the offending hoofwear and the two slowly and carefully fumbled for the door. It was Drops who eventually got it open, only for it to strike something, leaving only a tiny crack to peer out of. Doing just that revealed that the wardrobe had been left facing a wall in the corner of the room. They looked at each other. Or tried to. There wasn’t much light. Drops pushed harder, pressing back to try and move the wardrobe away from the wall, only for the back to hit another object that made a loud wobbling sound. “Can you lift the wardrobe with your magic?” she asked. “Move us to the side?” “Not from inside it,” Heartstrings replied. “No leverage.” Drops sighed, resting her forehead on the slightly opened door. “We can’t get out without making noise and getting spotted. We’re stuck while the princess is in the room.” Said princess began to snore. *** *** *** “EVERYBODY! SUNSET’S AWAKE! SHE’S AWAKE! AWAKE I TELL YOU! A~W~A~K~E!!” The wall-shaking, floor-rumbling shout, and the thud and grunt that suggested the Princess of Friendship had just face-planted out of bed also woke the two secret agents. “Nugh, wha—Pink—Sunset?!” The Princess stuttered before a lopsided series of galloping hoofsteps sounded in the room, out the door, and down the hall. “Ugh,” Heartstrings groaned, “about time. I gotta pee.” “You’ll have to hold it till we’re out of the palace,” Drops warned her, getting another groan for a reply. “Help me push this open.” Carefully they pushed, the wardrobe sliding backward and pressing into that wobbling object they heard before. Their care was for naught, however, when the thing toppled with a crash. The agents winced, sighed, and pushed harder now that the damage was done. Finally free, they slid the wardrobe back against the wall and identified the offending object as an expensive-looking telescope. “That’s bad,” Drops pointed out, noticing the cracked lens, as Heartstrings levitated it back into convincing undisturbed pose. “We can’t fix that.” “We could get a replacement,” Heartstrings smiled. “I know the model. It was advertised in last month’s Ancient Aliens magazine. The company is based in Canterlot. I wonder if Twilight’s a subscriber.” “Then we’ll request funds from hidequarters once we’re out. If everypony’s gone after Pink Petunia, we should be able to get around. Let’s find that portal.” *** *** *** “What happened in here?” marveled Heartstrings. Drops looked around what appeared to be the aftermath of a bomb blast in a private study. Books, furniture, and all sorts of dust and clutter were strewn about. Parts of the floor seemed to have been swept following the destruction, drawing a line clear of debris from the door to a large mirror with all manner of technical equipment connected to it. “Possibly a fight with a flaming red Nightmare Moon from another world?” Heartstrings gasped, “You think that mirror is the portal?” “Fits the description of one in Canterlot Castle’s hold. Supposedly destroyed a few years ago.” “Eeeeeee!” Heartstrings squealed, rushing up to the mirror. “Lyra!” Drops hissed before checking the hall again and closing the door. “I gotta see! I gotta see! I gotta see! I gotta see!” “No! No, no, no! We’re only here to confirm and catalog.” “And we do that by going through!” “We know nothing about the portal. What if it closes behind you?” “You hide here until F.R.O.W.N. and their twins come back and eavesdrop any info you can on it. Once you know how it works, you can come after me!” Drops sat down and crossed her forelegs with a frown. “Oh, come on,” Heartstrings argued. “It endangers the mission and you!” “Do you know how long I’ve dreamed of this moment?” Heartstrings asked, the mirror’s surface now only a hoof’s length away. “Since nine years ago when the series began?” “That’s just the current series. I was a fan of the original too!” “And you’re just going to hop through a mirror that might be a portal to a world that might have been the inspiration for that series without checking to be sure it’s safe first?” “YES!” “And leave me behind?” Drops put a hoof over her heart, her ears lowering toward the sides of her head. “You can come too,” Heartstrings answered plainly. “I am not—!” Drops snapped. “What if we both get stuck on the other side?” “Seems like a nice place to live in the comics.” “And I’m sure we’d instantly fit right in with no problems whatsoever.” “Exactly.” “That was sarcasm!” Drops yelled. “I happen to like the world I was born in.” “Well, so do I. But, what could go wrong?” “HOLY FREAKING HORSEAPPLES! WHAT THE BUCKING TARTARUS!?” an unknown, and perplexed voice shouted out from a lower floor. “What was that?!” Heartstrings responded. “Did you recognize the voice?” asked Drops. “No. The unknown alicorn maybe?” “If it’s alicorn-related we should check it out. Come on.” Drops slowly opened the door, and crept out after checking the hall. Heartstrings watched her go then turned to the mirror. “What could go wrong?” *** *** *** Hidden behind a potted plant, Drops watched a giggling pair of Twilight Sparkles, one with wings, one with glasses, trotting down a hallway toward Yellow Daisy, an unknown green earth pony mare, and an unknown amber alicorn. The alicorn appeared to be in a state of shock and trying to examine her wings, though they didn’t seem to want to cooperate. More than once she fumbled and slapped herself or the other mares with them. Drops looked back. Heartstrings still hadn’t joined her. There was a very obvious conclusion to draw from that. In the other direction, the alicorn had pulled the Twilights into a tight, tearful hug which they returned with large smiles, despite the amber wings in their faces. Drops dropped her head against the potted plant then headed back the way she came. *** *** *** Halfway there a shadow spoke to her. “Drops?” “Lyra?” Drops turned and her partner emerged from the shadow. “Lyra! I was afraid you’d gone to the other world and I’d never see you again!” “Oh, I’d never leave you behind, Bonnie.” “Really? You stayed for me?” Drops sniffed. “Aw, come here.” Heartstrings pulled her in for a nuzzle. “It’s not like I just couldn’t figure out how to turn the thing on.” Drops pulled away from the nuzzle and gave her partner a look. “It’s not?” Heartstrings giggled, “Of course not. What kind of best friend do you take me for?” Drops glared a moment longer, but her expression softened to a smile and she gave her friend a hug. “Then let’s go. There was talk about a party. We can mingle and get more insight on those twins. We’ll discard these bodysuits and use our Bon Voyage and Star Catcher backstories.” Heartstrings watched her partner trot away happily. She then discreetly lit her horn and conjured a construct made of light the same color of her horn. She smiled brightly at the hand, softly giggling. “They have five fingers. Always thought it was four.” *** *** In the shadow of a large bush, a sound of metal sliding against metal was heard before a boulder, looking not unlike painted Styrofoam, slowly lifted up on a hinge. A pony wearing a hazmat suit popped its head up and looked around. “Is it safe?” A mare’s voice called up from below. “I can’t believe we forgot to stock the pantry!” came another mare’s voice below. “It was your turn!” “I did it last time!” “Girls!” the mare at surface level called down to them before shushing herself and continuing at a lower volume. “The coast seems clear.” Slowly, the three hazmat ponies crept out of the hole before they reached the edge of the protective shade of the bush. The lead pony jumped forward into a roll, landing her next to a tree opposite the town. She repeated this, tree to tree, bush to bush, with her companions following behind somewhat less successfully. “OOF!” one of them grunted after rolling into her target tree. But on they traveled, creeping, dashing, rolling, crashing, and pratfalling their way to town to keep out of sight. It was almost time for Princess Celestia to lower the sun when they heard the unmistakable sounds of a Pinkie party. “They’re having a party? So, we’re in the clear? Surely the changelings haven’t duped the whole town after we warned them all.” “Could be. It’s just like Pinkie to throw a party after saving the town. And don’t call me Surely.” “Or, Pinkie could be throwing the party for the changelings.” “Not if they’re working for Chrysalis. Friendly ones, yeah. But if they were Thorax changelings they’d have said so.” “But this ‘Pinkie’ herself could be a Chrysalis changeling.” To the north a train whistle sounded. “The trains are still running. That’s good, right?” They crept closer and saw the party out front the Palace of Friendship. Pinkie was there, very hard to miss as usual. They also saw Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and … “Um. Does Twilight have a sister?” “I don’t know. Why?” “There’s two of them—“ “Wha—?“ “But only one’s an alicorn, the other is a unicorn in glasses. I can’t check the unicorn’s cutie mark, she’s got a dress on.” “Why would a changeling need glasses? Can’t they just change their eyes to not need them?” They kept approaching, hiding behind a bush not far from a set of food tables, and wishing they could eat the food through their hazmat suits. “Who’s the redhead?” “Unicorn with the yellow streaks?” “Yeah.” “Looks familiar. Think I saw her walking around with Twilight once before.” “I like her dress. It’s a bit bunched up on her sides though.” “She looks really happy.” “Coast must be clear then.” “Oh thank Celestia.” “Wait! What’s that?!” One hazmat pony pointed to the palace and the others turned to see a magenta unicorn with a violet mane and a white earth pony climbing out of a window, silently dropping to the ground. “Why are they sneaking around the palace?” “Is that Amethyst?” “Who’s the other?” “I don’t know, but her mane really needs a spa day. Maybe a week.” “Get down, they’re coming this way!” The three of them ducked as the pair of mares approached. The two of them nodded to each other and separated, the earth pony mingling while the unicorn stopped by the table nearest the trio to grab some treats. The trio crept around the bush to another table and observed. “Amethyst doesn’t like ginger snaps. That can’t be her. You don’t think ….” “Oh no. Look left.” To their left another magenta unicorn with a violet mane mingled through the crowd, heading for the food table. The trio huddled down and watched. “I can’t take it anymore!” a hazmat pony whispered to another, grabbing and shaking her by the shoulders. “We have to warn them!” Suddenly the table was bumped by the other side and they startled back. “Oh, excuse me, dear,” they heard a Trottingham voice, “I believe I may have had a bit too much of the hard cider. Wonderful flavor.” The hazmat ponies looked up to see the white earth pony chatting with Amethyst, the one on the left. “I’m Bon Voyage, pleased to—oh my, you look just like my friend here. Would you two be related by chance?” The two Amethysts finally noticed each other and looked themselves over. “We could be twins. Only our cutie marks are different,” marveled the one on the left. “I’m Amethyst Star.” “Uh, St-Comet Catcher,” answered the other. “Wow, what a resemblance, huh?” While Bon Voyage stepped to the side with a relieved expression, and the two near twins began a conversation, the hazmat trio glanced at each other with sheepish expressions, barely readable through the face-plates. “So,” said one of them. “Um. No changelings?” “I guess they’re gone now?” “That’s what the party’s for?” “We can ask Pinkie.” “After we eat.” Two of them nodded to the last to speak and they all took off their helmets before heading to another food table. Bon Voyage watched them out of the corner of her eyes. “Crisis averted.” “Hay! She’s finally up!” a familiar, brash voice got her to turn around. “So, you’re Sunset, huh? You took our exploding clouds like a champ by the way.” Before the addressed pony could reply, another very excited voice chimed in, “Sunny’s awake and Shindy’s got her first pony party going! WOO!” Bon Voyage’s eyes widened seeing a dragon as well as five mares arrive who perfectly matched five other mares already enjoying the party. Bon quickly looked to the side to see the flower trio staring back at them, jaws gaping. “Oh no.” “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!” one screamed. “Changelings!” a second added. “The evil kind. I’m not speciesist!” “Chrysalis is attacking!” the third finished up. “Run for your lives!” They each grabbed a plate of food in their mouths and galloped the way they came. All the other ponies in the party stopped and looked at the newcomers. Two Rainbow Dashes, two Applejacks, two Rarities, two Fluttershies, and … two Pinkie Pies. Amethyst looked at Comet Catcher again. The music shut off with a record scratch as DJ Pon-3 lifted her shades to get a better look. Twi opened her mouth and took a breath to address the crowd, but the townsponies were screaming and running before she could start. As the final panicked ponies left the party, Twi groaned, visibly deflating. Sunset Shimmer came up to her side, new wings twitching under her dress. “You know. Maybe I don’t need a crown.” Twi gave her a flat look then turned back to the vacated party area, screams still audible in the distance. “I need coffee.”