//------------------------------// // MEANWHILE: S.M.I.L.E. You Got Doughnuts // Story: Mission to the Pony Planet // by ersmiller //------------------------------// 11:50am “I can’t find Trixie anywhere, just some tracks left by her caravan. I followed them for a while, but it looks like she left town fast.” “And the flower trio seem to have vanished as well.” While waiting the hour for their train to Canterlot, Special Agents Heartstrings and Sweetie Drops had split up again to tend to some investigations, and a late brunch on the go, before rendezvousing back a short distance away from the Ponyville train station. Agent Sweetie Drops pulled a watch out of her poofy clown mane and noted they had about ten minutes before their train was set to arrive. “Did you get through to Hidequarters?” Agent Heartstrings asked her. Drops shook her head. “Too far for communicators, horse code flashes are too conspicuous, and I tried the landline, but it was busy.” “Busy?” “They only have one hard line that can be reached from Ponyville. You think they’d establish more now that there’s a princess, an international university with quite a bit of political clout, and all of F.R.O.W.N. living here. But apparently it’s too hard to hide the cables between here and Canterlot.” Heartstrings tilted her head. “They don’t work on magic?” “Too easy to detect, so somepony figured out how to talk through cables, but you have to bury them where nopony’s going to look.” “Talking through cables? Weird.” To the south a train whistle blared. “Time to go!” Drops called, starting her way toward the station. Heartstrings followed after her. “Did you manage to find who caused that second rainboom?” “No. Could have been the real Rainbow Dash or an impostor, but it looked like it came from in Canterlot. She, or whoever it was, landed just a minute ago somewhere near Sweet Apple Acres, but we don’t have time to check and get on the train. Hopefully Agent Diablo will keep watch.” *** *** *** “So what’s the plan, boss?” Heartstrings asked after noting the lack of passengers in their train car and picking a bench to sit on. Drops looked back to her and rolled her eyes. “Lyra, you’re a businessmare. Act professional.” Heartstrings looked down at her prim business suit disguise. “I am,” she argued. Drops chuckled. “You’ll have to act like a normal pony while you’re in disguise or everypony will know who you are. Good to practice now while we’re alone.” “I’m normal!” “Only when Pinkie is in the room for comparison, but I was referring to how you sit.” Heartstrings stuck out her tongue but shifted from her usual pose to lay herself down into a more standard pony lounge. “So, what is the plan?” she asked more seriously. “We’ll report to S.M.I.L.E. operatives in Canterlot and request some backup. We can’t keep track of all five known impostors with just the two of us.” “Who we calling?” “Agent Mane. Con Mane.” “That’s a new one for me.” “Big guy, a bit gruff on the outside but actually very sweet. Works as a baker for a cover.” “S.M.I.L.E. must really like sweets. First you and your candy store, now a baker too?” Drops paused a moment. “Huh. Now that you mention it, I was recruited not long after I got my cutie mark. And we do have a lot of confectioners for field agents. I always thought it was the unassuming cover, but the hidequarter heads do have us exercise our ‘official’ talents in the kitchens fairly often.” “Your bon bons are pretty good.” Both agents broke into giggles which were cut off by an explosion of sound and rainbow light. “What?! Again?!” shouted Drops, heading for the window. “Was that another rainboom?” Through the windows, sure enough, was a ring of rainbow light and a rainbow trail starting from Ponyville and streaking overhead toward them. A moment later, it passed by, heading directly for Canterlot. “You think that was the real Rainbow Dash or Pseudo Dash?” asked Heartstrings. “Or A Pseudo Dash. Could be more than one. But it was probably the real one making a quick round trip from Canterlot trying to find out what made the first one today. She has an ego to protect after all.” “So F.R.O.W.N. might know of the impostors now.” “Well, if that was the real Dash, she missed the fake one because she’s on the train ahead of us, so they might know something’s up, but not what,” Drops speculated. “No way of knowing until we do some investigating in Canterlot.” Heartstrings hummed in agreement. “In the meantime, we’re all stuck in our respective trains.” “Yep.” “So, how do you want to pass the time?” Heartstrings asked and waited for Drops to look over and find a familiar smirk. “Clown Catcher wants to catch her clown.” *** *** *** “Eakkkkkkkkkkkkkk!” Heartstrings screamed, noticing movement over the shoulder of the best friend in her lap. Outside the train windows were a pair of dark creatures matching speed with the train and just … staring back at them. “What?!” cried Drops, turning her head. For an answer, Heartstrings simply pushed and Drops tumbled, falling to the floor of the train on her back. “Oh, they’ve seen us!” one of the creatures gasped right before the two of them flew away. Drops flipped back onto her hooves and got to her partner’s side. “What were those?” she whispered. “Don’t ask me! You’re the monster hunter! Were they changelings?” “I didn’t get a good look but I don’t think they were changelings. Niriks without the fire maybe? Didn’t think they had wings though.” “You think they’re with the impostors we’ve been following or something else?” Drops inched up to the window and looked out at various angles. “If they are then they probably know we’re following them.” Heartstrings cringed and went to a window on the opposite side of the train. “If that’s the case, what do we do?” “If our cover’s been blown we’ll need new disguises.” *** *** *** Fresh from the the Will of Iron Costume Shop, a magenta unicorn with a violet mane and a catcher’s mitt cutie mark, and a white earth pony in a yellow summer hat and glasses with a boat for a cutie mark trotted out of Canterlot’s largest shopping district. “Did we have to dye my horn too?” Heartstrings grumbled. “How many unicorns do you know with a horn that doesn’t match their fur?” Drops answered. “It’s sticky!” Heartstrings tapped her hoof against it a few times. Drop pulled down on her summer hat to keep it from escaping her curly mane. “It’ll dry faster if you channel some magic.” Heartstrings lit her horn and cringed. “It feels weird and I look like Amethyst.” “Didn’t you used to have a crush on her?” “What?! Of course not, we’re practically twins. That'd be like Moondancer having a crush on Twilight.” Heartstrings tapped her chin. "Actually …." Drops smirked and stepped up to the plate, “Are you sure that’s not why you chose purple and rose?” “She’s magenta and violet.” “Ha!” Home run. “T-that doesn’t mean anything.” Drops giggled and led her partner on, speaking in a Trottingham accent, “By the way, if anypony asks, my name is Bon Voyage and I’m here on holiday.” “Uh, oh, uh,” Heartstrings hummed. “And I’m, Star Catcher?” “That works. Backstory?” “Oh! I’m an astronomer here to use the new observatory to track a recently discovered comet. You and I met on the train and hit it off.” “New observatory?” “It was mentioned in the Ancient Aliens magazine last month.” “Of course,” Drops giggled. “Good work. But, you know, calling yourself Star means you’re still thinking of Amethyst,” she teased. Though it was hard to tell through the dyed fur, Heartstrings blushed. “H-hay, look! Joe’s Doughnuts! How about a snack?” “Saved by the doughnut,” Drops giggled. “Lemon Hearts used to bring us here all the time. Spike loved the place, I think one of his first words was doughnut. He was still in diapers.” “Cute.” Approaching the shop, Drops switched back to her Trottingham accent. “I believe a snack would indeed hit the spot right now.” “You ever been here before?” “Oh, a few times, dear.” Heading straight for the counter, the two agents took neighboring stools and looked over the shop’s offerings. Heartstrings perked up when Doughnut Joe himself appeared and was about to greet him when she recalled she was in disguise. “Excuse me, sir?” Drops called instead, getting his attention and pointing to her partner. “Might I make a special order for my new friend here?” “Why of course you can, ladies,” Joe called back, trotting up to them. “I would like a pair of ginger curd doughnuts.” “Ah, a Manechester staple. You lass here on holiday?” “Oh, I get around. I suppose you could say I’m everywhere and I’m nowhere.” There was a slight pause. Joe flicked his eyes over the two agents before Drops continued. “And would you be a dear and draw a smile on each?” Joe nodded. “I’ll get right on that. Might be a while though since I’ll have to bake them from scratch.” “In that case, we’ll go freshen up. Take your time.” Joe began trotting off and called back, “See you girls in a bit.” Once Joe had gone into the back, Drops nodded to Heartstrings. “That was a long train ride after all,” she giggled shyly, getting up to head for the bathroom. “Shall we?” Heartstrings tilted her head. “I went before I got on the train and I think I see a cruller on display with my name on it.” Drops looked around the shop, seeing close to a dozen customers, and cleared her throat, nodding toward the bathroom. “Yes, but the fresh order I made will be well worth the wait, I assure you.” “I bet! Love fresh doughnuts! But, I really want that cruller while we wait.” A cashier overheard the conversation and trotted over. “Which one were you looking at?” “Second from the bottom with the chocolate glaze and—“ “Actually,” Drops cut her off, “I believe we ought to head for the mares’ room first.” “But I want the cruller before the fresh doughnuts. Can’t have a cold treat after a fresh one. That’ll just make the cold one feel like a let down.” “We could heat it up for you, miss,” encouraged the cashier. “Yes, see?” Drops pressed. “She’ll heat it up and you can order it after we powder our muzzles.” “But my stomach’s more empty than my bladder is full.” “Star Catcher,” Drops tried not to hiss, “I need you in the bathroom.” Heartstrings tilted her head. “Why would you need me in the …,” she trailed off as a blush formed. Drops slapped a forehoof to her face. Then, getting a look around the dining room and seeing more than a few ponies looking back at her, developed a matching blush. “It was a long train ride,” she announced and trotted off to the restroom room. Heartstrings looked around and chuckled nervously at the staring ponies, including the cashier who frowned back at her, and quickly followed after her partner. Once in the bathroom Heartstrings leaned in and whispered, “Sorry. I never thought you’d want to—“ But Drops bit Heartstrings’s tail and began dragging her to a far stall before she was able to finish. “Whoa! Where did this come from? The fur color, the doughnuts? I thought they gave you gas.” By the far wall, Drops spit out her partner’s tail and gagged, “Bleagh! The dye’s still got that ‘fresh’ taste to it.” Drops then turned and pushed on two of the bathroom’s wall tiles, causing a third to flip up, revealing a light. She placed her eye in front of the light and a moment later a piece of the floor lowered in tiers, forming into a staircase. Heartstrings watched the floor fall away, looked to Drops, then the staircase, then Drops, then the staircase. “Oh.” Drops rolled her eyes and started down. "And doughnuts do not give me gas." Heartstrings sheepishly followed her. As they descended to the secret lower floor, lights came on and the staircase returned to normal. “So, is this S.M.I.L.E.’s Canterlot hidequarters?” “No, that’s been shuttered … as far as I know at least … since the bugbear escaped. This is just a meeting place.” “We’re going to call Agent Mane from here?” “Already have. He was upstairs.” Heartstrings perked up her ears in surprise. “Wait! Wait, wait, wait!” she gushed. “What am I waiting for?” “No way! Doughnut Joe is a S.M.I.L.E. agent?” With a grin, Drops simply nodded. Heartstrings gasped and jumped on her hooves, repeatedly pronking in place. “That’s amazing! All those years at PCSGU and I never knew. Think he’ll give us free doughnuts since we’re fellow agents? They’re so good!” “Glad you like them,” came a boisterous voice. Heartstrings trotted around the corner out of the hallway and into a sizable conference room. The familiar Joe stood by with a cart of doughnuts and coffee. “Doughnut Joe!” she cheered. “It’s been a while.” Joe looked back at her with a smile. “Sure has, Amethyst. Good to see you again. But when did you become an agent?” Drops chuckled, getting Heartstrings to blush. “It’s Lyra, actually,” Heartstrings explained. “Lyra Heartstrings. Agent Heartstrings. I’m in disguise.” “Lyra! Ah, yes. You’re normally green, like a light pistachio, used to hang out with Twinkleshine’s group and our new princess. How’s Spike?” “He seems to be his usual cheerful self, really busy too with being ambassador to the dragon lands, working with Twilight’s school, and, well, everything else Twilight needs.” “The usual, eh?” “Pretty much.” Joe then turned to the also disguised Drops. “So that makes you Agent Drops?” Drops nodded. “Heard you got your best friend recruited a while back. How’d you pull that off with the bigwigs?” Drops chuckled, “It’s a long story. I’ll have to fill you in sometime.” “Eeee!” Lyra cheered, getting a look at the doughnut cart. “You brought your new Super Sprinkles! Come on, Drops, you have to try these, there’s so much flavor in them!” Drops cantered over, still chuckling, “I know. Thanks to Joe’s cover, anytime we had to trade info we’d just make a large order for an excuse for him to come to hidequarters. But sometimes we actually just wanted the food.” “And the National Dessert Competition is an excellent excuse to travel Equestria every few months,” Joe added. “Yeah,” agreed Heartstrings, lifting a doughnut in her magic, “Pinkie told me about teaming up with you right before the royal wedding.” Joe nodded. “That was a close one, actually. Almost outed me for all of F.R.O.W.N.” “What happened?” “Well, Pinkie and I had crossed paths in baking competitions before and she found out my S.M.I.L.E. connections so we had to RefDef her.” “Whoa! Did the Reflection Deflection actually work on Pinkie?” “It seemed to block her memories correctly then. But when we met before the wedding, she somehow revealed the whole thing. Thankfully the rest of F.R.O.W.N. just thought she was imagining it. Residual images I suppose.” Eyeing a doughnut for herself, Drops added, “Thank Celestia for the phrase, ‘Just Pinkie being Pinkie’.” Once Drops had picked a doughnut, and as Heartstrings started in on the second to be captured in her magic, Joe decided to start business. “So, are you two here about the Ponyville trouble or is this just a social call? Another wedding to announce? I cater!” The other two agents choked. “P-Ponyville,” Drops stuttered, working her food down. “We have reason to believe there may have been some sort of Changeling operation there. Though possibly not expressly sanctioned by Chrysalis. Possibly even unplanned.” “That’s not what I heard. Changelings, yeah, but not the rest.” “What have you heard?” asked Heartstrings. “And, come to think about it, how have you heard?” “I’m the Canterlot relay this month so I’m handling all emergency communications in and out of the city. I received a telegraph over the landline, had to be maybe five or six hours ago, about changelings replacing Yellow Daisy with a request for backup and an immediate search party. I.D. was Agent Diablo.” “Angel,” breathed Heartstrings. “That’s why the line was busy. Wait, did you say six hours ago?” Drops groaned, “He didn’t hang up after the message. Can’t get through on that line till he does.” “I’m surprised Ponyville still only has one line,” said Joe. “Yes, we’ll put in a request for more later. Right now we need to update your intel. We made out five suspected changelings, all disguised as the Flower Rangers. They’ve been going around town looking for the real Rangers. Apparently they were unaware they’re here in Canterlot today, so they grabbed the train ahead of ours. They’ve all been in Canterlot now for about two hours. It’s unknown if there are more, but it’s possible Scootaloo was also copied, judging by a half overheard conversation.” Joe frowned. “That’s not good. The Flower Rangers are all spread out right now setting up for some political events this week. Security has been raised due to some feuding ambassadors staying at the castle. Adding changelings to that mix is a recipe for disaster.” Heartstrings’s ears flopped down. “So, what do we do?” “We contact Agent Spear,” Joe answered. “He’s our ‘undercover liaison’ at the castle.” “Can we call him using a communicator or those cable lines?” asked Heartstrings. “No,” Joe shook his head. “The undercover part means all non-S.M.I.L.E. agents think he’s just Private Pointy Spear of the royal guard and he needs to keep his cover intact. They have him on guard right now so there’s no way for him to get privacy.” “I’m disguised as a tourist,” offered Drops. “I could just ‘get lost’ and require a guard’s help finding my way.” Suddenly a voice in a dark corner of the room spoke up, “That won’t be necessary.” The three agents turned and saw only a vague outline hidden in the darkness. “Ah, there you are, Agent Shiwa,” Joe greeted the figure. Agent Shiwa stepped into the light, revealing a four-legged creature that was clearly no pony, though it was hard to tell what it was instead through its black, full body, furtight suit. The creature had long, floppy ears, a large snout with prominent nostrils, and a thin tail with a tuft of fur at the end. Strapped to its back was what appeared to be a sheathed sword. “Let me introduce you,” Joe continued as the creature pushed back its hood revealing her kindly, wizened face. “Shiwa’s cover is Mulia Mild, another baker, but she’s secretly one of our best kuneighichi operatives.” “Oh you’re too kind, Joe,” charmed Shiwa. “And these two are Agents Drops and Heartstrings?” “How do you—?” began Heartstrings. “Trained as an infiltrator and spy, dear. I get around.” “Speaking of which,” Joe cut in, “how’d it go with Le Grand? You catch that bounty?” Shiwa clicked her tongue. “Afraid not. I lost that snidely scoundrel at Whiplash Cove. And then I was ordered to help oversee security here until he showed up again. But that’s a tale for another debriefing.” Drops stepped forward. “You said that it won’t be necessary to meet with Agent Spear?” “Yes, because I just have. Or at least I was there for a while and saw what he saw.” “Did you tell him about the changelings?!” Heartstrings asked. “Luckily I didn’t have to. They already showed up.” There were gasps all around before Shiwa continued. “But, turns out they aren’t changelings.. Heard it direct from Princess Twilight herself, though she doesn’t know I was there.” “So what are they?” “Friends, apparently, just through a teleportation mishap from what I was able to gather. A portal she has in her palace.” Heartstrings glanced at Drops with a wide grin. “What kind of portal?” “All I heard them call it was ‘the portal’. But it leads to another world apparently”—Heartstrings squealed—“My guess is it’s a Star Swirl leftover.” Joe grunted, “Great, another one.” “Seemed the portal was old news to them all. It just wasn’t expected they’d be showing up today, but now there’s two of each of the Flower Rangers except Purple Rose. No duplicate for Green Fern either. They exist, but they didn’t make the trip here.” “So, we’re in the clear?” asked Joe. “Nothing to worry about?” “For us there isn’t, but F.R.O.W.N., and their duplicates, are all heading to Ponyville to return their guests. There’s trouble in their world.” “But what about the ambassadors?” “Purple Rose and Green Fern won’t be back in time, but the others should just make it so long are there are no delays. There shouldn’t be. I followed them until they got on their train. So long as nothing goes wrong in Ponyville, everything will be fine.” The other three agents in the room traded looks. “Um, Joe,” began Heartstrings, “just how many agents responded to Diablo’s backup and search party requests?” The look on his face was all the answer they needed.