//------------------------------// // On a Train Bound from Nowhere (Part 1) // Story: Mission to the Pony Planet // by ersmiller //------------------------------// “A Mac-WHAT?!” cried Twilight, standing up from her cushion around the conference table. “That’s what the voices called it,” explained Shindy Pie matter of factly. “They’re saying don’t worry because it won’t be a thing until chapter thirty-nine.” “Chapter—what?! What voices?” “All the new voices I’ve been hearing since I came through the portal. I’m up to eighty-six now and they are loud, loud, loud! Sometimes it’s not so bad, but other times it’s like I can’t think at all. They get all,”—Pinkie hunched down and deepened her voice but spoke louder—“hey look! That unicorn’s horny, ha ha'; and exactly how crazy is oatmeal?', and 'how do I spell Phenomenal well enough for the spellchecker to fix it?' And others just say everything we’re gonna do before we do it but in past-tense, and they tell me to do and say things, and is this word-count okay?” Twilight stood gaping at her. “What does any of that mean?” “I have no idea. I mean sometimes they’re helpful like telling me how to get up the slide in Peachie’s party cavern and find all of you in the room here after I sneakily sneaked out of jail again. But it’s usually like having the Internet yelling in my brain and it’s all EweTube comments from random videos. Not always in the same language either. And most of them are all garbled.” Twilight just stared on. “Wha …? I don’t—“ “HAY!” shouted Peachie Pie, rushing up to Shindy. “I have an idea!” “What?” Twilight stupefied. Peachie grabbed a large chunk of Shindy’s tail in her mouth and answered with a muffled, “This!” before rushing out of the room with Shindy being dragged with her. “Wheeeeeeee!” Shindy squealed. Once out of the room, Peachie popped her head back in to finish up with, “Be back soon! Don’t wait up!” The nine remaining ponies and dragon stared blankly at the door closing behind the Pinkies for a few blinks before turning to see the matching expressions on all the other faces in the conference room. Finally, Primo Dash commented, “Wow. Your Pinkie is actually more Pinkie than our Pinkie.” *** *** The door to a random broom closet slammed open and two Pinkie ponies entered in a rush. Peachie let go of Shindy’s tail and jumped to the door, slamming it back shut, then put her ear up to it hard enough for a BONK to rumble out. Once satisfied that they were alone, Peachie turned to Shindy, still on the ground with her tail stretched out like taffy. Peachie met Shindy’s height by crouching down onto her belly, then leaned in close to her ear. “Ixnay onyay ethay oicesvay,” she whispered. “Don’t talk about the voices?” translated Shindy, her tail popping back to its normal form. “You hear them too?” “Shhhhhh!” Peachie hushed with her hoof to her lips. She then jumped up and listened through the door again. She turned to her counterpart. Slowly. And walked up to her. Deliberately. She stood to her full height on four legs. Dramatically. She looked down at Shindy. Seriously. And spoke important words at her. Gravely. “What I’m about to say doesn’t leave this broom closet.” “How would it? Sayings don’t have feet.” Peachie gasped. “Oh you’re right! No wings either” she giggled. “That makes this easy. Just don’t repeat any of this to anypony.” “Just ponies?” “Any creature.” “Okay!” Shindy saluted. “I mean, seriously. The safety of the multiverse depends on it! Or at least your universe and mine do.” “Roger that, muchacha.” Adopting a more serious expression again, though not so much as before, “You can’t talk about the voices. I nearly exploded Twilight a couple of times with them.” Shindy gasped, “Not exploded! Poor Twi. She wouldn’t have liked that. What happened?” “She tried to egghead them.” “Ohh! Our Twily tries stuff like that too. And Sunset. Lots of things do end up exploding those days.” “Exactly!” Peachie nodded. “Other ponies—other creatures—don’t react well.” She leaned in close to Shindy. “And they start to think we’re crazy.” Shindy threw up her hooves. “For the past few hours I thought I was crazy!” “That’s another thing that happens. I’ve gotten somepony else to hear the voices once. Screwball was never the same after that.” After a moment of consideration, Peachie shrugged. “But I think she likes it, so it all worked out. Now I just tell everypony it’s my Pinkie Sense and they don’t look at me like I’m as crazy as much as they did when I told them I hear voices.” “ ‘Pinkie sense’!” Shindy cheered. “Ohh, I like that. But you’ve always been able to hear them?” Peachie gave Shindy a contemplative look. “Since a few days after I got my cutie mark, though there weren’t many back then, and they were quiet. I thought the mice were whispering to me until Limey chased them out of the house and I still heard them. You’ve never heard them before you came to our world?” Shindy put a hoof under her muzzle in thought. “Well, since just before I threw my first party I’ve been kinda able to hear this one voice from time to time. It sounds like me but furrier. She actually told me how to put that party together! Never been able to figure that out, and she’s been like a sister ever since; really helps me out a lot. Except I can’t talk to her back.” Peachie copied Shindy’s thoughtful pose. “Well that’s strange. I wonder who that could be.” A moment of thought later she shrugged, pressing on. “Any other voices?” “There kinda, kinda have been more—sort of—but nothing that’s really been a voice voice but more like an idea voice,” Shindy explained, gesturing with her hooves. “Like, if I do ‘this’, people will smile. If I say, ‘that’, people will laugh. If I stop thinking about physics at just the right time I can do the kinds of things that Twily says I shouldn’t be able to and be helpful and get people to giggle. That last one mostly happened after Sunset stole your Twi-Twi’s crown and we blasted her with a giant rainbow friendship laser cannon. But it’s always just been little things. Nothing like here.” “Maybe they’ve been there for you too, but too quiet for your ears to notice.” “So they’re just stronger here?” “Sounds like it.” Shindy put her forehooves over her ears. “Sounds is right. They get so super loud sometimes. Especially when I ignore them, or talk to the louder ones. What are they?” Peachie looked around the closet, inspecting the inanimate objects to make sure they truly were inanimate and didn’t have ears. “Here’s the part you can’t tell any creature.” “Okay!” “The voices are the real people.” “The who-what now?” “They live beyond the fourth wall.” Shindy looked at each of the closet’s walls. “Which one’s the fourth?” “No, not that kind of wall. That’s what I used to think too and I did a lot of experimenting until my parents told me to stop breaking the house.” “Yeah, Mom and Dad don’t like when that happens. Like when I built my first party canon. I either used way too much baking soda or gunpowder or both. It’s a good thing we’re all good at masonry and Marble’s gotten really good at carpentry too, and Limey’s a great painter; it relaxes her. So what kind of wall is the fourth?” “The fourth wall is actually like a mind wall.” Peachie thunked herself on the head with a hoof. “Something else you don’t want to break in the wrong way.” “And the voices are behind it?” “No, we are.” Shindy tilted her head one way then the other. “Well, from their side, we are, but from our side it’s their behinds that are behind, right?” “Nope, the fourth wall only has one side.” “A one-sided wall in our minds?” “In all minds.” Peachie thunked herself again, giving another thunk on Shindy’s. “It’s all around us, but sometimes, if we can see it, we can break through or peek around it and that’s how we do all the fun, wacky things that Twilight says we shouldn’t be able to. But we can only do them if we make people smile doing them. They have to be funny.” “But what does this have to do with the voices?” Peachie zipped to the side of the closet, picked up a broom, holding it vertically, and peeked around one side of the stick. “Every time we peek around the wall, the voices get louder, because that’s where they are. The wall is thinner for us, easier to hear their side through it. And it gets thinner-er when we go through it a lot.” “I thought you said there was only one side.” “Yeah. The real side. We’re on the not-real side.” “Ohh!” Shindy joined Peachie on one side of the broom. “There’s only one side because how can there be another side if it’s not real?” “Exactamundo!” “But doesn’t that make us not real?” “Exactamundo number two!” “I bet that’s the part that almost exploded Twi, huh?” Shindy sat back down. “One of them,” Peachie nodded before putting the broom away.  "There were others." Shindy tapped her chin and stroked the fur there. “I bet she probably started wondering what it meant to not be real. And if she’s not real then what else isn’t real? Probably everything and everyone if the fourth wall is all around us. That would mean everything we know is wrong and what would be the point of anything because what is the meaning of life if life is nothing and what even is nothing and how am I even wondering that if we are nothing and who are the real people and why do they watch us and why do I see words appearing on a screen as I say all this and why are the voices getting louder again?!” “Whoa, Shindig!” Peachie grabbed her by the shoulders, stopping the tirade of mental breakdownage. “Slowdown! It’s okay!” Shindy grabbed Peachie the same way. “We’re not real!” She began shaking her. “HOW—IS—IT—O—KAY?!” Peachie wiggled out of Shindy's hooves and instead pulled her into a hug. “It’s okay because we’ve always been not real but we still make people laugh. And that always matters! And that means we’ll always matter because we’ll matter to them. Even after season nine.” “Really?” Shindy looked over her shoulder at her twin. “Of course. It’s what we’re here for.” “It is?” “Yep!” “Okay. I guess I can live with that,” Shindy sighed with a soft smile, but perked up a moment later with a gasp. “Wait! 'It’s what we’re here for'?” “Yep!” “That means our entire purpose is to make people laugh and entertain them!” “Yep! We’ll always be here for people when they need us.” “That’s great! That means I can use the fourth wall all the time and do all sorts of—eek!” Shindy winced. “Careful,” Peachie eased her, stepping back in front of her. “You don’t actually want to break or even talk about the fourth wall too often.” “Because the voices get louder?” Shindy closed her eyes and massaged the sides of her head. “Yep. Also it’s really hard to do it just right, and not doing it right is one of the marks of a bad author.” “Huh?” Shindy peeked open an eye at her. “Uummmm,” Peachie gave Shindy a sheepish smile. “Maybe we’ll save that one for later.” “Can I make the voices get quieter? I’ve asked them a few times but that only works for a little bit.” “Yeah, there’s another way. Not using the fourth wall for long enough will make it get thicker again and that will make the voices quieter. But when there’s a lot of voices that won’t stop talking. Nana Pinkie made a special recipe that helps a ton.” “Did she hear them too?” “Yep! That’s what she made it for.” “But Mom and Dad said I’m too young for her cooking.” Peachie scratched her head. “Why? I’ve been eating them for years and nothing’s gone wrong yet! And if I don’t eat them my head hurts from all that noise. I tell ponies they’re my meds. I bake them into special jelly beans and lemon drops—not Lemon Drops the pony, lemon drops the candy—and shape them to look like pills. They’re great for when the voices get too loud. And that reminds me, when the voices do get loud there are certain things you should never think about.” “How do I know what I shouldn’t think about?” “That’s one of the things you shouldn’t think about.” “That makes sense. And the Nana pills sound helpful. Some of the voices are mean and kinda icky, especially the louder ones. There’s been a bunch of naughty suggestions about unicorn horns.” “Oh yeah, that happens. And that’s not even the worst of it. You don’t want to know what I hear anytime my mane goes straight down or Rainbow Dash gets ketchup on her wings.” “ ‘Cupcakes’?” Shindy’s eyes went wide but her pupils shrank. “Oops! That’s one of the dangerous things when the voices are too loud!” Peachie dug into her tail and pulled out a pair of bright yellow pills. “Quick! Eat some Nana drops!” Booping Shindy’s snoot to get her to open her mouth, Peachie shoved both pills into Shindy’s mouth and pushed her jaw closed. Shindy’s pupils quickly filled to normal and swelled larger. “Whoa …,” she gasped. “It’s like a party in my mouth and no one’s yelling as much this time! There’s still a lot of chatter but it’s so much easier to think now! And they taste really good!” “Thanks! Ginger, thyme, mint, gumdrops, lime juice, pistachio pudding, strawberry syrup, fermented hay seeds, and lots of sugar are some great ways to flavor them! I’ll give you the recipe in case they ever get louder in your world. I’m sure you’ll make some great flavor ideas too!” “Can I have a few more in case they get loud again before I go back?” “Oh sure! Shake that tail!” Both Pinkies turned away from each other. Peachie shook her tail up and down, dislodging a collection of additional yellow and assorted other colored pills that flew up and over toward Shindy who caught them in her own tail. “Woo! I have been pharmacied. I wonder if these will work better than the Ritalin for schoolwork.” “And remember,” Peachie warned, “no telling anycreature about the voices anymore.” “Yeah. Don’t want any exploding Twilights!” “Now let’s get back and see what our girls and Spike are doing.” *** *** *** “We’re back!” Shindy yelled after slamming open the doors to the conference room. “Oh, hay,” Peachie added, seeing the lone occupant. “It’s Shining Armor shining armor in shining armor!” Shining Armor, wearing a full suit of well-shined armor, looked up from the armor he was shining and rolled his eyes. “If I had a bit for every time I’ve heard that.” “You’d be a richer prince of the Crystal Empire than you already are?” Peachie suggested. Shining shrugged, “Guess I can’t complain, huh?” “Nope.” “Oooh, is this Twi’s brother?” asked Shindy. “Yes in deedy,” Peachie answered before turning back to Shining. “How ya doing, Shiny?” “Honesty, I’m still getting over the weirdness of seeing two Applejacks, two Rarities, two Rainbow Dashes, two Fluttershies, and now two of you.” “Meh,” Peachie replied, “We’ve had weirder.” He nodded. “So I’ve heard.” “So, where the girls at and wha’cha doing here? Getting ready for tonight?” Shining looked down to the cart containing a collection of additional suits of armor beside him and was about to answer, when Shindy preempted him. “Oh!  He’s just here so we could have that one gag about his name, he’s not actually important to the story and the girls have all gone to the train station to head back to Ponyville.” Shining Armor sat there blinking a moment while Peachie cringed. “Uh,” he began, “the girls have all gone to the train station, they asked me to direct you there when you showed up. What … what was that first part again?” Peachie turned to Shindy, “You need more Nana pills.” “Sure thing,” Shindy replied. “I’ll try some of the jelly beans this time.” After downing four more pills, and giggling goodbye to Shining, both Pinkies left him alone again. It was only for a moment that he wondered what that was all about before deciding it best to let the Pinkies just be Pinkies and moved onto another suit of armor to shine. Asking one Pinkie too many questions was confusing enough. He wasn’t about to double the weirdness any more times than it already had been. *** *** “Sign says three forty-five for north and southbound,” announced Ponyjack. “What time is it now?” “Three thirty-five!” Primo replied from the sky, reading off the local clock tower. Jackie chuckled quietly and leaned in toward Renae. “You have time enough if you need to—“ “Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” she replied in a gruff whisper. Two Applejacks, two Rarities, two Fluttershies, and a Spike were standing around while two Rainbow Dashes hovered above them and a jittery Twilight Sparkle paced back and forth among them on the train station platform. “There’s no way we can do both. Even if we find and help Sunset in a period of five minutes we still won’t make it back in time for tonight. The train arrives here at three forty-five, we’ll get to Ponyville early evening, we’ll miss the next train while helping Sunset in the other world, then the next next train back here will be around … oh no. I’ll be late to the parley. I’m supposed to be the arbitrator. I could try a long distance teleport back to the castle but I'd be so rundown after that there might not be enough coffee to keep me going through the proceedings. There's an entire ceremony involved! And then the moonlight feast and then everything else.” "That, and coffee doesn't exactly affect you the way you think it does," Spike commented. “Twilight,” Primo swooped down to land beside her fretting friend. “I got it covered.” “You do?” “Yeah. Easy. Your hot air balloon. I’ll just pull everypony back when we’re all done with Sunset. I’m much faster than the train, even with all that drag weight.” Share let out a retort, “ ‘Drag weight’?! Honesty.” Twilight looked back to Primo. “What do you mean pull everypony back? Spike and I are taking the humanes back home and helping them there. The rest of you will have to stay in Canterlot and keep things going without us.” There were groans and disappointed whines all around as the native ponies and visiting aliens looked sadly at each other, realizing they would be saying their goodbyes once the train arrived. Already a few hugs had started when Primo spoke up again. “What?! No way! Maybe you two can’t get back in time but we’ll make a trip down and back easy. And we’ve done everything we needed to do here. We’d just be sitting around waiting if we stayed. We’ll keep the ambassadors happy until you’re back.” Twilight looked back with a frown. “And this means your list is finished?” “Uh,” she scratched the back of her head. “Exactly.” “My list is finished,” Posey spoke up. “I can help Rain—I mean, Primo with hers.” “Mine is also finished aside from a little extra touching up on a few pieces,” added Share, putting a foreleg around Renae. “A quick round trip to spend time with my new sister wouldn’t harm a thing. And then I most certainly would help with any other lists that needed checking off.” “Same here,” Ponyjack cut in, “Ah found Primo’s list after Ah finished mine, weren’t a lot left and Ah got some of it done before the other Dash got me thrown in the sty.” Rad chuckled sheepishly. “And what about your list, darling?” Share asked Twilight. Twilight cringed, her ears flopping straight down. “We’re fine,” Spike answered. “We’re far from fine,” Twilight argued. “We were barely half way through the list!” “For the second time!” Spike groaned. “Double-checking is important!” “We double-checked last night. Today was double-checking the double-checks!” “See?” Primo insisted. “We can go, then come back and everything will work out here while you’re off in their world taking care of Sunset.” “Which you can do, correct?” asked Renae. “You know how to help Sunset?” Twilight looked to the visiting friends, easily distinguishable from the native ponies for the first time due to the matching expressions of worry, and sighed. “Judging by what Pin—Shindy said, how Sunset was was going crazy and dangerous—“ “You know,” Rad cut in, during a slowly descending hover, “Shindy didn’t exactly get it all right. Sunset never said that, ‘buck it, I’m out’ part. Whatever that means.” “Well paraphrasing is magic,” complained Shindy. Rad looked to her left to see a Pinkie face right in hers, well above the ground. “Whaa!” she let out, flapping back away from the sudden appearance, only to bump into something fuzzy behind her. Turning, she got a repeat. “Hay, Dashie number two! I mean, Rad!” “Gah!” she shouted. “Where’d you two come from?” ““The Castle!”” they answered her gleefully while unstrapping their harnesses. “How’d you get here so …?” Rad trailed off, looking up. Above the Pinkies, their harnesses were attached to long cables extending to a pair of parachutes caught in the tall train station sign. A small collision in the distance took her attention to a hang-glider saying hello to a tree. “So what did Sunset say?” Twilight asked, getting the conversation back on track as train whistles began sounding off in the distance. “A lot, actually,” Jackie answered. “Girl was mumbling quite a bit, and with what that magic did to her voice it was none too easy to understand her. She was definitely telling us she had to get away because she was too dangerous to be around, then something like thawing her third chick’s blight, or some such?” “Thaumaturgical blight?” The visiting members of the group thought that over and gave each other looks. “That sounds right, I think,” offered Butterfly. Twilight sighed, lowering her head. “What does that mean?” Renae asked as the southbound train appeared from out of a tunnel. “I’ll tell you on the train,” was the answer as Twilight lined up to the side of a train car door. Once the doors opened, ponies, and rare other creatures, departed the train, leaving it empty, as the northbound train arrived on another track. As soon as the flow ended, Twilight’s group of five pairs of twins and a dragon boarded their train. There was too much commotion for any questioning stares to be directed their way. On the northbound track, mixed in with a small collection of other ponies stood a trio of fillies, waiting for the larger boarding mob to die down. “I hope you’re right about this, Scoot. Rarity might not like me having to close the shop early to make the train.” “I’m telling you there’s two of them! And they’re in Canterlot!” answered the pegasus, starting off away from the platform. “So we’re going to the castle? We’ll find two Rarities there?” “And two Rainbow Dashes!” “Ah don’t think they’re at the castle.” The pegasus and unicorn fillies turned to their earth pony friend to see her pointing at the southbound train where a pair of rainbow-colored manes could be seen through the windows as it started to pull away. “Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash! Two of them!” squeed Scootaloo. “I told you, I told you!” “They’re getting away!” squeaked Sweetie Belle. Come on!” yelled Apple Bloom. They sped along the platform, quickly realizing that the train was speeding along faster than they were. “Nooooo!” cried Scootaloo. “They’re heading back to town? We could have just stayed there!” Sweetie dismayed. “So we get another ticket back?” asked Apple Bloom. Scootaloo looked up, a look of surprise washing over her face and turning to delight. “I think I have a better idea.” The other two fillies turned to where Scootaloo was looking. “Define ‘better’, because Ah’ve tried that before and it weren’t good,” Apple Bloom warned upon seeing a hang glider in a tree. *** *** “Thaumaturgical blight,” Twilight began her explanation from inside the train car, as they all chose seats for the long journey back, “is a fairly broad term to describe any situation where magic corrupts a creature or object. It is most often associated in cases where a creature comes into contact with certain kinds of dark magic or spells.” “Like a curse?” asked Rad. “Not a curse, so much as a trap or evil entity or energy hiding within the magic. However, another possibility is simply taking on a very large fount of untamed magic all at once that overwhelms whoever comes into contact with it. Neither the pony, or other creature, nor the magic may have had any ill intentions, but the sudden rush of power can cause instabilities or trauma that twists the desires of those affected.” “That sounds like Gloriosa Daisy,” Renae pointed out. “She only wanted to protect her camp, but using all our geodes completely changed her into a monster.” “The spa comment didn’t help matters none either,” added Jackie, getting a look from Renae. “And Midnight Sparkle,” Butterfly gasped. “Poor Twily had nightmares for a long time about her.” Twilight nodded, thinking over the conversations she’d had with her counterpart and Sunset about the mentioned events. “If Sunset absorbed a super concentrated blast of magic that she was unprepared for, she was likely overwhelmed.” “What about when Sunset turned into that angel thing?” asked Rad. “That was a big blast of magic.” “Sunset was ready for that, so she was already actively trying to absorb it. Also, it wasn’t untamed magic, it was friendship magic. It came from you girls. That’s what it can look like when concentrated and applied correctly. Something she wouldn’t have been able to do if she and all of you weren’t so close.  And even then, it was impressive, Celestia was ecstatic when she I told her about it." The alien girls all shared smiles with each other, reflecting on their strong bonds. "Normally," Twilight quietly considered, "ponies can't do things like that without powerfuls relics of some sort." “So, our magic angelized Sunset, but this magic is making her evil?” asked Rad. “Is that what happened the first time?” Twilight shook her head, “At the Fall Formal, the magic from my crown amplified Sunset’s desires to control Equestria and that’s what caused her demon form then. While the element of magic mostly contains harmonized magic, it’s normally keyed to only be used by me and it wasn’t meant to be used in a different universe. It couldn't harmonize with your world. Effectively, she confused it long enough to temporarily corrupt its magic. This time, we know Sunset’s not the same pony she used to be, but it may be that this sudden rush of power triggered some latent fear of repeating her past mistakes. And once Sunset realized what the magic turned her into physically, that fear grew, creating a sort of feedback loop. In a way it’s all in her head. But if she doesn’t realize this and overcome her fears, she may lose herself to her original desire to dethrone Princess Celestia or just plain lash out and conquer something.” “She could become evil again?” asked Spike, getting gasps from the rest of the group. “Considering it’s Sunset, and what’s she’s been through already, it’s unlikely to become permanent. The real issue is how much damage will occur before she comes to her senses.” “But she already said tom-mat-loogie-call blight. If she knows what’s going on, can’t she fix it herself?” “Fear and guilt can go a long way. Like Luna and the Tantabus.” The visiting part of the group all traded confused looks, while the native Equestrians let out ‘ahs’ of understanding. “So this will be easy!” cheered Primo. “They just need to do with Sunset what we did with Luna.” “But this time they won’t all just be dreaming,” Ponyjack pointed out. “Still say they’ve got nothing to worry about!” “Of course we don’t!” agreed Shindy with a cheer. “Just look at the tags! We’re a comedy. No dark, death, drama, horror, sad, thriller, or tragedy up there. Not even porn, which is kind of a missed opportunity considering there’s two of most of us in a small, enclosed compartment with an indeterminate number of hours to kill.” Ten faces stared blankly back at her while Peachie slapped a hoof to her forehead, then another one on Shindy's. “What?” Shindy defended. “A mind can go places.” She scratched at her ear with a hind leg. “Got a bunch doing that right now.” Swiftly, Peachie shook a colorful collection of Nana pills up out of her tail, pulled Shindy’s mane back to get her to open her mouth, and let the pills fall in. “Ooooh,” Shindy squealed, “lemon, lime, licorice, and lentil.” Peachie jumped between Shindy and the rest of the group. “Hehe, just ignore her, she’s okay, really! Everything’s fine here. Nothing’s exploding!” Several members of the group considered asking them questions. None decided it was a good idea. “So … what do we do?” Butterfly asked Twilight instead. “Once we find her,” Twilight continued, “since she’s not actually an evil villain, or even angry at anything, I suppose there’s three options. Ideally, we’ll be able to talk her down. If we get her to realize she’s not becoming a she-demon again she could snap out of it.” “That’s it?” asked Renae. “She’ll even transform back to normal?” “That …,” Twilight cringed, “might not happen right away. But at least she’ll stop being destructive.” “Will we have to rainbow cannon blast her?” asked Rad. “You guys do that too?” asked Primo. “Yeah we do! Sunset the first time, the three Dazzlings, Gloriosa, the Memory Stone. There’s a list,” Rad bragged. “Well we have a list too! Nightmare Moon, Discord, Tirek, the Pony of Shadows.” “That’s it? Ha! We did six to your four.” “What?! Hay! We did plenty of other awesome things without rainbow cannons! And did you say one of yours was a stone? You can’t count a stone!” “Okay, fine, five to four, and we also did other awesome things, and we did it all in less than two years! How long did it take you?” “Uh—“ “Rainbows!” Twilight called. “It’s not a competition!” ”Like just telling them that’ll work,” grunted Ponyjack while Jackie nodded. “Why didn't you rainbow her already?” Primo pressed her counterpart. “Because she flew away!” Rad protested. “I thought you were fast.” “I am, but we had the fires to put out and we couldn't use the pond water because it was still boiling. It took a while!” “By the time it was safe, Sunset was gone,” sniffed Butterfly. Posey brought her into a hug. “So what if she doesn’t turn back to normal after we talk her down, and what are the other options if that doesn’t work?” asked Renae. Twilight turned back to her. “Talking her down is just the start. The main issue is that buildup of magic. Eventually she may be able to absorb it safely, if not we may need to siphon that out of her. If we can get her to cooperate, perhaps a modified version of Twily’s magic stealing device can work. A friendship magic ‘rainbow cannon blast’ might work too. Harmonize the magic she gained.” “And the second option?” “Well, that’s also the second option," Twilight cringed, "just without her being cooperative.” “But she’s really powerful right now,” Shindy reminded them. “She flies, moves things with her mind, boils ponds, and flings fireballs and explodes stuff. Even when she’s not trying to!” “Which is why option one is what we’re hoping for. Assuming she’s calmed down since yesterday.” “And option three?” asked Jackie. “If worse comes to worse, maybe we can hit her in the back of the head?” Eleven surprised faces gasped at her. “Rendering her unconscious could snap her out of it. And even if it doesn’t, we could have time to siphon that excess magic before she wakes up.” “No fair!” cried Primo. “We never get to just knock out the bad guys.” “We slugged a bunch of changelings at the wedding,” Ponyjack offered. “I feel so awful about that now,” sighed Posey. “I wonder if we’ve made friends with any of them since.” She gasped, “Or even apologized! I don’t remember apologizing to any of them about that. Was Ocellus one of them? We'll need to apologize next time we see her.” “I’m not suggesting we attack Sunset!” Twilight clarified. “Depending on how much power she has in her right now, a simple sucker punch might be the best option. If she’s being violent she’d want us to keep her from hurting anything, and she’s likely going to have a pretty nasty headache after this, regardless. It’s Plan C, okay?” “If we can find something that won’t burn or melt when we try to hit her with it,” Shindy mused. "Or get her to cool off first." Spike raised an important point, “Sounds like Plan C might just make her angry.” “Right,” Twilight admitted, “Plan C might not be a good idea.” “Alright,” Jackie piped up. “Find her, then talk her down. If that don’t work, hit her with a rainbow or one of Twiliy’s thingamajigs." Primo laughed. "So after all that, you didn't even need to come to our world! You just need to find her and point the rainbow in her direction!" "Except we can't do 'the rainbow' without her," argued Butterfly. "At least we're not sure we can." "Your Twilight doesn't start them?" "It's a group thing." "Speaking of Twily," Renae interrupted, levitating Sunset’s correspondence journal out of her saddlebags. “We should tell her about the plan. She has the journal’s twin.” “That’s perfect!” Twilight cheered. “Let me write to her.” Renae levitated the journal closer to Twilight who lit her horn. Half the aura around the journal changed from blue to purple. Twilight brought the journal to her, but the blue aura stayed around one half, flickering but not going out. “Oof!” Everyone looked over to find Renae collapsed on the train floor having been pulled off her bench, apparently by the floating book. “Rarit—Renae! Sorry.” Twilight moved the book to the side to get it out of the way and was surprised to see Renae slide along toward it, away from Jackie who was already trying to help her up. “Eeek!” Reaching up, Renae gave her horn a flick to shut it off and rested on the floor in embarrassment. The two native horn owners flinched at the action then stared for a moment, eventually shooting each other a quick glance. Twilight cleared her throat. “Um, don’t worry, Renae, I, uh, used to have the same problem.” “Well,” added Share, moving to help her twin, “you’ve only been a pony for a few hours and skipped magic kindergarten. Why don’t we move to the end of the car and I’ll help you learn how to use your horn correctly.” “Still no porn tag, folks,” Shindy called out, already popping another Nana pill in her mouth. Ignoring Shindy, and watching the Rarities long enough to make sure Renae was okay, Twilight turned to the journal, conjured a quill and ink bottle, and wrote a message. Hello? This is Twilight Sparkle from Equestria. Our friends have let me know the situation with Sunset. We’re on the train heading back to the portal but it will be awhile before we arrive. How are things on your side? \ And they waited. And waited. The Rainbow Dashes tapped their hooves impatiently, turned to each other with a grin, and sneakily traded name tags. “Hey, Rarities,” Shindy called out, watching the unicorns quietly levitating and releasing small objects, “while we’re waiting, I have a question. Do all unicorn horns taste the same as Renae’s?” All three horned ponies, and Posey, blushed brightly. The Rainbows were suddenly no longer bored. Peachie passed out bags of popcorn. Ponyjack set about showing Jackie how to eat the tiny kernels with hooves. “H-how,” Share started, “how does she know …?” “I tried blowing hers when we first got here!” “You doused my—her horn?!” “So you po—unicorns don’t call it a horn job?” asked Primo, apparently. The Applejacks read the room, or more importantly Share and Renae’s faces, and decided to keep out of the proceedings. Ignoring the Rainbows, Share leaned in and whispered to Renae, “You weren’t channeling magic at the time were you?” “Sorry, dear,” Renae replied, “doing what?” “Was your horn lit?” “No, I hadn’t learned how to do that yet.” Share relaxed. “That’s good.” “What’s that matter?” asked Shindy, surprising the Rarities by suddenly being only inches away from them. Calming herself, and her mane, down, Share addressed Shindy directly in a haughty tone, “Ladies do not talk about such things!” “We’re not ladies, we’re ponies!” “We are pony ladies! Unicorn gentlemares!” Shindy looked down and up at herself. “I'm neither of those things! Can't you tell me?” “S-Such things are not for polite conversations.” Rad snickered, “How about un-polite conversations? I’d like to know what this is about.” Share looked to Twilight, Twilight tilted her head back toward Share. Posey discretely hid behind her mane. Share shook her head. Twilight sighed, blushing brighter, and spoke in a lecturer’s, safe, unemotional, and un-embarrassing monotone, “The act of dousing the horn is—“ Twilight looked down at a wide-eyed Spike, conjured a very thick set of earmuffs, and wrapped them around his ear fins. “Aww,” he complained. “—supposed to feel pleasurable to both parties and is considered a … ‘private’ activity.” Renae blushed brighter. “But it didn’t feel at all …. It was just slimy.” “Channeling some kinds of magic is required; lighting the horn,” Twilight continued in her monotone. “Hence the term, dousing.  This also causes a transfer of magic from the …,” Twilight paused.  "The unicorn receiving to the … initiating pony." “And how do you know this?” asked Rad suspiciously. “I … read about … things.” Posey nodded slightly, an act that Butterfly noticed. They looked at each other and blushed harder, turning to observe the most fascinating floor they’ve ever encountered. Together the Fluttershies leaned in and whispered gently through their manes, ““Would you like to trade sometime?”” They blushed more and nodded to each other. “And do they all taste the same?” Shindy asked again. “Every pony horn has a unique … f-flavor,” Twilight answered in that same, but now faltering monotone. ““Neat!”” cheered the Pinkies, one through a mouthful of popcorn. Shindy looked to Twilight with a big, expectant smile and was met by a furled brow. “I don’t know and I’m not letting you taste it,” Twilight told her firmly. “Aww.” Disappointed but accepting of the answer, Shindy joined her twin, taking some popcorn of her own. Snickering in the corner preceded a question from Primo, “You waiting for Flash to tell you your flavor?” Twilight squeaked, her feathers rustling. “Of course not! I …, wait; how do you know about Flash?” “Uh,” Primo pointed at her twin, “she told me.” Twilight peered at the pair. “Who’s captain of the Wonderbolts?” “Um … Captain Wondrous Bolt?” Rad groaned. “That didn’t last long.” Twilight looked down to their name tags. “Keep it up and I’ll just name you ‘Thing one’ and ‘Thing two’.” The Rainbows looked at each other. “”Who gets to be ‘Thing one’?”" “Don’t make me randomly change your cutie marks to make identifying you easier.” The Rainbow wearing Rad’s name tag began to retort, “You can’t—" “Starlight taught me.” "Rad" quickly grabbed "Primo’s" name tag off her chest— “Ow!” —and swapped it with their other, properly renaming herself back to Primo and deciding it best to not try that again. As this was finishing up, a still blushing Share whispered to Renae, after making sure both Pinkies were far away, “I don’t suppose Shindy said what our horn tastes like?” Owning better ears than Share realized, Shindy answered from across the car. “It was delicious! A flowery powdered sugar, with a hint of mint, and a touch of lavender!” “That’s private!” Share shouted aghast. “”Not anymore,”” snickered the Rainbows. Share grumbled under her blush but eventually smiled and whispered to herself, “Sounds rather refined.” Peachie giggled, "You could always lick each other's horns." "See?" Shindy added. "A mind can go places." The Rarities looked at each other but quickly looked away when they noticed their blushes were growing. They then made a show of going back to magic practice to keep their own minds from going places. In the silence that followed, Twilight looked to the journal and frowned at the lack of response. Outside the windows it was easy to see Ponyville off in the distance as the train continued its slow descent down around the mountain, occasionally weaving in and out of tunnels. “Suppose now’s a good a time as any to bring it up,” Jackie spoke again. “Ah don’t mean to pry, but that boy’s been missing you.” “Still?” Twilight startled. “I thought he would have moved on by now.” “Think he tried to. Asked Sunset out once.” “And … how did that go?” Renae chuckled coyly, happy for the subject change, “Sunset has had other interests of late.” “So … he’s still single?” “Perhaps only until he notices how Muffins has been watching him.” “You mean Derpy? The mailmare?” “ ‘Mailmare’?” Renae tilted her head. “Nevermind. I know who you’re talking about.” “Oh!” Shindy popped in. “Lyra and Sweetie Drops also hang around him a lot.” Renae shook her head. “It’s not Flash those two are interested in like that. They simply haven’t been honest with themselves. Isn’t that right, Jackie?” Jackie’s eyes went wide and she choked on a popcorn kernel. A quick slap on the back from her counterpart cleared her airway, but not her blush. “W-what’s that now?” “You always seem to know when people aren’t being honest. You’ve seen what’s happening here don’t you?” “U-uh, uh, ah,” Jackie sputtered, her eyes darting around the train car. “You okay, sugarcube?” the other Applejack saved her, though it wasn’t until Jackie noticed the solemn expression on Twilight’s face that she realized the question wasn’t directed at her. “Yeah,” Twilight answered flatly, her eyes falling to the floor. “I’ve known since the beginning it would never work out. I’m sure Flash and Derpy would be a cute couple. I can’t risk using the portal too much after all.” “Why not?” asked Butterfly. Still watching the floor, Twilight responded in a flat tone, “Overuse of the portal has the potential to destabilize the universes and cause them to blend and collapse.” “Mind saying that again?” asked Jackie as a host of concerned faces turned toward Twilight. “I'd visit more often if I could,” she continued in her flat tone. “It would be so easy to do so if not for stability concerns. After all, anytime I’m in my private study, where the portal is, it would actually be easier to visit CHS than get to my own bathroom. Teleporting with a full bladder isn't a good idea. It’s not fair to Flash if I can only visit once in a while. Why else would I have broken it off so quickly?” “I thought it was because we all thought the portal couldn’t be opened for thirty moons,” Butterfly offered. "Until the sirens showed up." “Nah, it’s because the two of them have nothing in common,” was Rad’s guess. “I mean a rocker and an egghead?” "But you call Sunset an egghead and a rocker all the time." "Because she's a rocking egghead." Renae shook her head. “I’m sorry to say I thought you two had no chemistry together. Like the two of you were trying to force an attraction.” “Exactly!” Shindy chimed in. “It’s all because the studio forced the author to fill in another bullet point for better marketability among preteen girls last minute in production.” Peachie sprinkled an assortment of Nana pills into Shindy’s bag of popcorn. Twilight looked up at her friends, a cringe in her eyes. “I guess we really weren’t meant to be.” Share quickly walked up to her and put a foreleg around her shoulder. “It’s alright, darling. You’ll find somepony someday. Perhaps one actually living in this universe.” “Ah don’t want to be insensitive to anyone’s love-lives,” Jackie cut in calmly before getting a much more urgent tone of voice, “but just what was that whole bit about universes collapsing!?” Twilight froze. Her eyes widening and ears snapping straight up being the only movement. After a few seconds of waiting, Jackie whispered to her pony counterpart, “Ah take it the ears raising like corn stalks is a bad thing?” “More the eyes Ah’m worried about,” Ponyjack replied. “Eeyup, that deer in the headlights look ain’t settling me at all.” “What are headlights?” “Twilight?” Share gave her a gentle shake, getting her to blink and look around, counting each of her visiting friends with a hoof. “Heh, ha, it’s fine, it’s fine,” Twilight chuckled as her ear twitched. Leaning back toward her counterpart, Ponyjack whispered a warning, “Fast ear twitches ain’t good either. ‘Specially for Twi.” “I’m sure everything is okay! There’s only five of you … all at once, and all seven of us are going right back through, and then Spike and I are coming back here, but that’s still only fourteen uses in a few hours. “Um,” Butterfly squeaked, “I’ve been through three times already. I’m sorry.” “Sixteen! Okay! Still not all that many. It’s not like I’ve used it much myself, and I always keep it off. Sunset’s only made two trips back here and Starlight made just one to your world. Spike! You’ve never been through without me have you?” Twilight turned to Spike to see the young dragon still wrapped up in the earmuffs and taking a nap. “Of course you haven’t! And we’re still just over thirty uses since the Fall Formal! That’s not too many for, for however long it’s been.” “Twi,” Jackie called her in an even tone, “there something you’re not telling us?” Twilight looked back at her friends with a sheepish cringe. “Yes?” “And that is?” “I never expected all of you to ever show up at once!” Twilight rushed an excuse. “Did we break something?” asked Rad. “Oh no, not at all,” Twi reassured her, a warble to her voice. “It's why Celestia wanted only me to cross over the first time.  You see …" she paused before rushing the rest out, "it’s just that every use of the portal further destabilizes the boundary between our worlds is all.” “”WHAT?!”” eight voices yelled out, accompanied by two eeps. Spike snorted in his sleep.