Hi there, my name is Blitz. I'm not your average wastelander. Mainly because I'm a hippogriff, something you don't often see in the Equestrian wasteland. The reason for that is that our home, Mount Eris, is out in the middle of the ocean, untouched by balefire bombs. While we had supported Equestria during the war by using our special magic to create talismans and other magical weapon components the zebras had decided we were not a big enough threat to merit an attack.
So why was I here in this hellscape and not home on our nice isolated island? Long story short, my sister Ashaa and I were part of a merchant family, sailing from island to island trading goods. We used to stay fairly close to the hippogriff isles, but a while back there had been rumours of an economic boom in a zebra coastal city and father decided to try his luck.
Unfortunately, our ship sunk and I woke up to find myself in the irradiated swampland that is the city of Neigh Orleans. So I did what anyone would have done in my situation. I found my sister, Met some new friends, And went on a crusade to rid this city of its foul inhabitants and make this place safe for all civilized creatures!
Still working on the crusade bit...
Today had been strangely boring. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad the various monsters and villains of Neigh Orleans had taken a day off, but by noon I was crawling up the walls of our house on Marbon Street that my friends and I shared. I walked out of my room and into the living room. Shadow, our resident Dark and moody sharpshooter, was in the sitting on the couch with his wide brim hat and duster, as well as his bright red aviators. He was polishing his massive handgun and talking to Thunderheart, our steel ranger, as he tweaked his power armour. Ashaa somehow looked even more bored than me as she waxed the bowstring of her giant black recurve bow.
At the sound of me walking in Ashaa's head shot up. "Hey! Blitz! Please tell me you found something for us to do? I am so bored. I will do Anything to get away from these two, they just want to sit around and be as boring as the walls!" I chuckled, shaking my head.
"Hey now young lady, Shadow and I are talking about firearms, which would be very interesting to you if you didn’t insist on only using that silly bow of yours" Thunderheart reprimanded.
"Well exCUSE me if I think a bow is more civilized than your loud guns," Ashaa said playfully, turning back towards me. "So did you find something for us to do?"
I shook my head as Ashaa slumped down in her seat "Darn it. So now I have to sit here and be bored until something Blows up or another bad guy comes around to destroy Neigh Orleans."
"Or we could just go for a walk." I proposed. Ashaa looked at the front door, then back at Shadow and Thunderheart. She nodded fervently. "Yes let's do that."
For a few hours, we trudged around familiar neighbourhoods, places we'd been. Then we veered off towards the outskirts of the city. Since arriving here I'd only left Neigh Orleans a few times on short trips out by the old radio tower and the cybernetics plant out west. as we walked through desiccated streets and alleys Ashaa and I talked. If only to relieve the ominous and unusual silence. There were always the sounds of gunshots in the distance, the screams of monsters, The chatter and static of broken radios...
"Blitz, do... Do you think we’ll see our home again? Mother and Father? I don’t want to die here, alone..." Ashaa stared blankly at the ground, trembling slightly as she walked. " I want to see the royal gardens again, go to a Flying Feathers concert, listen to one of Mother's stories... Oh, Mother! She probably thinks we all died! Gone forever." Ashaa collapsed, sobbing openly. Her wings drooping down beside her as she cried.
I knelt beside her, my talon on her shoulder. I had to be stronger, for her sake. If not for Ashaa I would have been exactly where she was now, lost and broken. "I miss them too, but we have to stay strong, Ashaa. If we keep faith that there is a way home we will find it. If you give up now then our friends and family are truly gone." Ashaa looked up towards the sky, then back at me, fear warring with determination in her eyes.
"Yes, okay. You’re right, I'm sorry... Just don’t die on me okay? You’re all that's left..." She stood up and shook herself, looking out towards a small box canyon on the far western side of town. "Why don't we check out that canyon? I don’t think we’ve been out there before."
Huh, how long had that been there? Obviously, a long time, since it was an entire canyon. But still... I nodded, standing up towards the suspiciously ordinary canyon. "All right, let's go check it out."
What was this place doing in the middle of southern Equestria? All of Neigh Orleans was a swamp. Wet. Water everywhere, the ground, the sky, the air... This area had none of that here. The small box canyon was dry as hell, not a single drop of water in this boring ass place. And dust everywhere, this was the first time I had seen dust like this since leaving Mount Eris.
Kinda sad when seeing dust makes ya homesick isn’t it?
The only mildly interesting things here were two small military installations on either side of the canyon. the only signs of life were two guards standing in a watchtower. We were too far away to discern their species. We decided to pick our way down the steep slope towards the nearest one about a half-mile away. Using the large rocks and long-dead trees that dotted the landscape Ashaa and I made it to the wall of the base with the guards inside none the wiser.
From our closer vantage point, I could see that the guards were zebras, one had a maroon combat vest and the other was wearing a light orange jacket. their stripes were red rather than black. Zebras??? What is a whole base of zebras doing here? Hmm, very strange. But who was in the other base? Then the two guards started talking. For the sake of simplicity and not knowing their actual names, we’ll go with Vest and Jacket.
Vest turned towards Jacket. Looking just as bored as Ashaa had a few hours ago.
"Hey."
"Yeah?"
"You ever wonder why we’re here?"
Jacket stared up at the sky as if the answer to Vest's question lay up there. "It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or are the Stars really watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night."
The two zebras stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. Vest tilted his head in confusion. "...What?! I mean why are we out here, in this canyon?"
Jacket looked away in embarrassment. "Oh. Uh... yeah."
"What was all that stuff about the stars?"
"Uh...hm? Nothing."
"You wanna talk about it?"
"No."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
Vest glared at the ground. "Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of the swampland. And it's really hard to get in or out."
Jacket nodded "Mm-hmm."
Vest then gestured with a hoof towards the base on the other side of the canyon. "The only reason that we set up a Red Stripe Base here, is because they have a Remnant Base over there. And the only reason they have a Remnant Base over there, is because we have a Red Stripe Base here."
Jacket nodded as if this made sense. "Yeah. That's because we're fighting each other."
Vest shook his head. "No, no. But I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and if they would come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoopdee-fucking-doo."
Jacket mulled this over for a second. "Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there finding Raiders and other bad guys... You know, fight them."
Vest nodded. "Yeah, no shit. That's why they should put us in charge."
While all of this was good information for us, As the guards were talking they had moved from their tower to the rampart facing us and were now only a few yards away from
our rock. My E.F.S tagged the zebra guards as a friendly blue colour, but that could change in a heartbeat. Thankfully a harsh voice came out from inside the base.
"LADIES, FRONT AND CENTER ON THE DOUBLE!"
Jacket and Vest jumped out of their sitting position and hurried towards a flight of stairs that was out of sight.
"Yes, sir!" Jacket shouted as Vest simultaneously muttered "Fuck..."
Ashaa turned to me, confusion playing across her face. "What's the Remnant?"
"A group of Zebras Whose main focus is to continue the great war that started all this mess."
Ashaa looked even more confused. "But... The great war ended two hundred years ago with global annihilation, why are they still fighting?"
"Well you see, they’re following the final orders of their last Caesar, which was to eliminate all of ponykind."
You could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears as her brain overheated while trying to understand all this.
"Yeah, I know Ashaa, it makes no sense. It's just how they work."
The very confused hippogriff shook her head violently to clear it. "Okay then... Who are the other guys? The Red stripes?" I rolled my eyes. Obviously, someone had slept
through Equestrian history class. "Zebras who fought for Equestria during the war dyed their stripes red to signify what side they were on."
"Well what should we do? It seems that they’ve fought to a standstill. Do you wanna go in guns blazing and make a big mess like you usually do?" Ashaa suggested. I scoffed, offended. "Not all my plans work out that way, only most of them do. And no. We are going back home and getting our friends, this isn’t something we can handle on our own." Ashaa nodded, turning towards the base to get a better look at it. "Even with Shadow and Thunderheart, what is there that we can do to help these red stripe guys? This is big." "I don't know sister, but we have to do somethi-"
¡Detente allí, escoria remanente! Suelta tus armas!
What?! We turned around to find a zebra covered in brown body armour and a battle saddle with two very large energy weapons. He seemed a little mad.
¡Soy López el pesado, te entregarás a mí o serás destruido!
Ashaa and I held our talons up to show we had no weapons, as they were all stashed in our Sub dimensions
Each hippogriff has access to their own "sub-dimension", I like to call mine my Inventory. It's a place where you can stow away your stuff so you don’t have to carry it all around with you. There were rules to what you can put in it, like nothing alive, or anything bigger than yourself. It's like having a backpack with infinite space that only you can open.
"Hey, Lopez! What did ya find over there?" Lopez turned his head towards the voice. "Encontré dos coloridos grifos azules, probablemente funcionen para el remanente."
"Dude, we have got to fix your voice box, none of us can speak Hisponic."
Lopez scowled. "¡No estoy hablando hispónico, estoy hablando el lenguaje de los dioses! ¡Tú y todos los que habitan en este cañón arderán en el infierno, porque tus pecados
son grandes!"
"Oh quit yer bitching Lopez. I know we forgot your birthday, but we're at war. And birthday parties are for when we are not at war." From around the bend came another zebra in bright pink combat barding. His eyes lit up when he saw my sister and me.
"OOOO you found some extra colourful gryphons! I thought you guys came only in boring brownish colours!"
Ashaa rolled her eyes. She was getting as tired as I was of people calling us gryphons. "We’re Hippogriffs, and we come in peace, we only want to talk."
The ditzy looking zebra thought for a moment, glancing back at the base. "Hi there! I'm Private Donut! Let's get you two to the- Wait, I was told to go on patrol. If I come back now the Sarge will be mad. Hey, Lopez here can take you guys back to base!"
Lopez obviously didn’t like this. He glared at the pink zebra with contempt.
"¡No Voy a escoltar a estas molestas criaturas de colores brillantes hasta nuestra base! ¡Podrían ser espías!"
Donut stared at us quizzically. After a moment he shook his head. "I don't know man, they don't look like predators to me. Even if they are, you're a robot, so they probably wouldn’t be into you anyway."
I glanced over at Lopez, then back a Donut. What is this place? What the hell is going on? Is everyone in this damn canyon crazy?
"Wait, he's a robot?"
Donut shrugged, shaking his head. "Yeah, his voice box is broken, which is why he only speaks hisponic."
Lopez stomped his hooves, looking very pissed.
"¡Tonto! ¡Estos dos solo causarán caos y dolor! ¡El fuego lloverá de los cielos! ¡Las plagas correrán desenfrenadas! ¡Todos perecerán dolorosamente y arderán para siempre en los pozos del infierno! ¡Si estas criaturas inmundas no son asesinadas ahora, nos destruirán a todos!"
Donut waved his hoof dismissively, walking off as he said, "Oh don't worry Lopez, we’ll get your oil changed soon. Just get these two back to base."
Then we were left with a robot zebra with two really big guns who looked like he wanted to disobey his orders and just get rid of us. I almost summoned my twin desert eagles, Love and Tolerance, from my Inventory when Lopez sighed as his twin energy blasters folded up into his battle saddle. He turned away from us and stomped off towards the base. "Estoy jodido, ¡Están jodidos, todos estamos JODIDOS! Vamos, destructores, el Sargento querrá verte."
Ashaa and I looked at each other, whatever he had said, Lopez wasn’t going to kill us. Ashaa shrugged, turning to follow the irate zebra. I did the same.
The base in question was a giant grey two-story circle with big flat-tipped spires at intervals along the top. Out on the field were the two zebra guards and another with bright red combat boots and vest. The three appeared to be arguing about the jeep behind them, It looked kinda like a puma. As we got closer the three zebras the red one turned to us
with a smile on his face.
"Well well, what do ya got there Lopez? A couple a colourful gryphons? Are they prisoners or visitors? If they’re prisoners I say we eat em! Gryphons taste like chicken ya know." Jacket facehoofed and vest muttered something about it being taco night and not gryphon night. Lopez shook his head as he pointed at us.
"Estos dos no son prisioneros, pero no invitados. Ellos son los que terminarán nuestra pequeña guerra limpiando el valle con fuego y balas. Debes tratarlos con respeto."
The red zebra sighed impatiently, rolling his eyes.
"Dammit, just nod if they’re prisoners or shake your head if they’re guests."
Lopez shook his head, much to our relief. "Well alrighty then, ma name's Sarge, the idiot in orange is Grif," prompting a "Hey!" from Grif. "And the maroon kiss-ass is Simmons."
After explaining who Ashaa and I were and that we weren’t remnant spies the conversation moved towards why they were here fighting the remnant when there were better things to do with a small army of five zebras. From what I could tell, Griff and Simmons had summed it up pretty nicely earlier. They were here fighting because the Remnant was here fighting them. The canyon had no strategic value, no stable water source, and no other buildings for a mile around. It was utterly pointless.
"Is there any way to stop this? A peaceful way?" Ashaa pleaded. For the last half-hour, she had been trying to show the zebras that there was always a kind solution to problems. She was not very successful.
Sarge shook his head. "No can do Ma’am, If we pull out against orders we'll be branded as deserters, with an actuall branding iron. And the remnant hates our guts and will stop at nothing to see us dead, so I'm fairly certain there's no persuading them to leave. Any treaty would have to be signed by our superiors, and they'd rather we duke it out in here till one side is dead. So the best way to end this is to eliminate either us or the remnant."
We were in the war room, a fairly small area with a giant table with a 3D map of the canyon that took up most of the space. The only lighting came from a large lamp hanging from the ceiling. Ashaa was currently banging her head on the table in frustration. My head shot up. Wait, I had an idea.
"Is there any way we could get them to surrender? Give up?
The red zebra was about to shake his head again when a thought came to him.
"One way they would leave is if we completely surround and overpower them. Which is kinda impossible cuz they got a tank. The other way is to get inside their base and steal their flag. It's their way of keeping morale up. If they still have their flag they think they can win. The only problem with that plan is that to get to their flag we have to go through the tank."
"What if we created a diversion? One group distracts their main forces and the tank while a smaller group goes in and take the flag?"
"Whoever leads the charge to distract them would have to be crazy," Sarge said, looking up at the ceiling. "Good thing I'm the right kind of crazy! Todays a good day to die boys!" Simmons, who had been silent this whole time stood up, concerned.
"I don't know Sarge, can't we push dying to next Tuesday?"
"Why? You got a hot date tomorrow night? Let's do this!"
Ashaa hated this plan. It was her job to sneak in and steal the flag while accompanied by Donut. At first, she was sceptical about having the ditzy zebra be a part of the stealth mission until it was revealed that Donut had once snuck into the remnant base on accident and had almost got away with the flag. He was the only one who knew the layout of the area and where the flag was hidden.
But it wasn’t her lack of stealth skills or her easily distracted companion that worried her. It was the fact that leading the charge right beside Sarge was Blitz. Her mildly insane brother had done some crazy things before, but attacking a small army of highly trained warrior zebras and a tank head-on was a first for him. She trusted him to stay safe, but Ashaa was still scared. she knew Blitz, he'd charge the tank himself if it meant helping someone.
Enough of this, if we don't get moving then the distraction will be for nought. Ashaa shook her head violently, then glanced at Donut, who was staring down the scope of his rifle.
"Hey Ashaa? Why is your brother making weird symbols with his hand?"
The cyan hippogriff's head shot up.
"They’re talons, not hands. And that's the signal, we need to move."
Ducking behind a large rock formation the two infiltrators made their way towards the enemy. Fear warring with determination in their hearts.
"Are you ready kid? This is gonna be one helluva battle."
"Anything to stop this senseless fighting Sarge."
"Alright then, signal our stealth team to move forward. We'll charge in five minutes." All the zebras were in full combat barding, each in their respective colours. as well as a
battle saddle for each of them. The bright red Sarge had two riot shotguns, maroon Simmons had a sniper rifle one side and an ammo box on the other, containing ammunition
for everyone. Grif in his orange barding wielded a submachine gun in his mouth and a sword on his back, Brown Lopez's huge miniguns came out from his midsection rather than a battle saddle. I was decked out in my black combat vest and gloves, a pair of red aviators covering my eyes, a gift from Shadow a while back. My battle scythe strapped to my back. If needed I had all my other weapons in my inventory, ready to be used.
I turned towards a large rock formation. if you looked hard enough you could see the glint of Donut's sniper rifle as he stared through the scope, waiting for the signal. I waved towards them, making a few hand symbols with my talons to make sure he knew I wasn’t just saying hi. I only stopped when the silver speck that was Donut’s rifle disappeared.
The remnant had spotted us. I could see small figures running around, preparing to meet us in battle. "One minute to go boys. Blitz and I will go front and centre, Grif will flank left and Lopez will flank right. Simmons will provide support in the way of ammo refills and as a sniper. You got that maggots?"
Yes Sir! we all responded. Sarge turned to look at me, only a hint of concern in his manic eyes.
"You sure you can take out that tank? The five of us have tried time and again to take that monster of a machine with little or no success. Why do you think you can do what five trained warriors cannot?"
I gave a sinister smile. "Don't worry Sir, I have a feeling my special kind of crazy is just what we need."
Sarge nodded, smiling back. "Good answer kid. Don't let us down."
WhydidIagreetothissweetNovotherearesomanyofthemhowwillgetin!
Ashaa decided that now was a good time to panic. The remnant had seen Blitz and the others in the distance and had started to exit the base towards them. Though a large number of them were leaving there were still quite a few on the ramparts of the large rectangular building. Anyway one could approach the base was covered. How were they to do their part if they couldn’t even get near the place!? Ashaa hyperventilated for a moment until she saw Donut trotting up behind her. Slowing her breathing she turned to face him. Donut must have seen her expression before she put her mask of confidence back on.
"Don't worry about them. The remnant might be guarding all the visible entrances, but I found a secret entrance. It leads to A cell in their prison." Ashaa tilted her head in confusion.
"How did you find it?"
Donut thought for a moment as if trying to remember. "Well, I think I found the one time Grif and Simmons send me to the store to get headlight fluid. Or maybe it was the time I went out looking for Lopez's lost leg, or may-"
"Okay okay. it doesn’t matter, let's just go." Ashaa interrupted. Donut nodded, leading the way.
Ashaa could see why the remnant hadn’t bothered to guard this entrance. It looked pre-war from all the rust, grime, and general disrepair. The worn StableTec logo above the door also helped identify the area's age. It wasn’t, however, a stable. The farther the two went, the more it looked like a laboratory. Discarded beakers and flasks littered the floor among stacks of rotting paper. Strange colourful stains covered the walls as well as the floor and ceiling. Many of the decrepit desks had scorch marks or deep gouges. As if a dragon had raged through the halls. Every light was on and working, and not a single flicker came from them. When StableTec builds something, they build it to last, that includes the lighting system.
Ashaa followed Donut through the halls towards what the signs called a restricted area. As they progressed, the doors got bigger and thicker. Fortunately for them, something big had smashed through them all. This was probably quite unfortunate for whoever had worked here, but Ashaa chose to ignore that thought
Donut led them to a room labelled ’StableTec emergency exit. Use only in case of serious containment breach’ . It was the only room with corpses. Mangled skeletons littered the ground, torn up and shattered. There were even a few limbs hanging from the ruined ceiling. The only intact skeleton was a unicorn who seemed to have died trying to open the giant round door on the far wall.
The pink zebra ignored all the death surrounding him. He was humming to himself as he used a few tools to do what the dead unicorn had tried and opened the door easily.
“I keep the door locked so it’s stuck shut. That way if the Remnant ever finds it they’ll think it's blocked.”
Ashaa was impressed. This showed a level of intelligence that she hadn’t seen from Donut before. Before she could congratulate him, the door swung open, revealing a small tunnel. It was as well lit as the rest of the facility, with much less grime and rust. With a deep breath, Ashaa took the first step in.
"My men are making bets on whether you went mad, suicidal, or both. Come on Sarge, this is all you’ve got for us today? Even though it looks like you replaced that pink idiot for a hippogriff it’s still five to forty. So unless you found your own tank I suggest you surrender to be quickly and cleanly executed instead of dying painfully on this battlefield!"
Sarge grinned amused by the Legate's offer. "We only surrender real soldiers, not you cheap knockoffs! It’ll be a cold day in hell before we yield to you!"
"Well then hell is where you’re going, Sarge!" The Legate shouted.
"I'll see you there!" Sarge called back. The Legate had once been a good friend of Sarge, they had grown up on the same island and had practically been brothers. The closest thing to a sibling Sarge had ever known.
Then the Remnant had arrived, taking with them any able-bodied zebra to fight their twisted war. Sarge hadn’t been taken as he had broken his left hind leg two days before on one of his misadventures with the Legate. Enraged, Sarge had sworn vengeance against the Remnant and on his eighteenth birthday joined the Red Stripes to find and rescue his
friend.
Sarge found him on the battlefield one day. But He had chosen his side, there was no reason to rescue a soldier who now believed in what he was fighting for.
Since then they had become frenemies of a sort, fighting each other, but not to the death. Though it seemed today's charge had been the last straw. The Legate would not let a single one of them leave this canyon alive.
Sarge turned to look back at us. He looked down at the watch on his foreleg. "Ten seconds till we charge boys."
We all silently counted down until we hit zero. Then as one shouted "GLORIUM CELESTIA!" And a "Gloria del celestial!" From Lopez. The Remnant Yelled
something incomprehensible and charged us head-on. Lopez and Grif took the right and left respectively, Simmons held back, laying down cover fire and handing out a few last-minute magazines. Sarge and I ran to meet the Remnant at the front. Reaching behind me I twirled out my scythe while standing up to run on my hind legs. Sarge mouthed the bit of his battle saddle, ready to tear into the enemy lines with his shotguns.
The zebras in front started to fire on us, I used my free talon to erect a white magical shield in front of me to deflect the bullets. Sarge made no move to dodge the incoming assault, the bullets pinging off his red armour. My mind was focused on the battle, ready to clash with the zebras moving closer and closer. The only concern in my head was the fact that there was no tank to be seen. Where was it?
This tunnel seemed to be endless. There were no doors, only one way to go, so they must be going the right way. About thirty feet back the lights had gone out, forcing Ashaa to summon a light orb to hover next to her left shoulder. There was more and more rust on the walls an floor as more cracks in the steel lining of the tunnel appeared. Eventually, a speck of light was seen in the distance. Over the next ten minutes or so the light got bigger until it was bright enough to extinguish the light orb. The last light of the tunnel was still on, and past it was a ladder that Ashaa hoped led to the exit.
Thankfully Donut took the lead and pulled the ladder down and started climbing with some difficulty as he had no hands or talons to effectively use the ladder. Ashaa followed close behind, having an easier time than Donut. The zebra above her opened a small hatch and poked his head out cautiously, looking left and right before glancing down at Ashaa to say "Coast is clear, let's get going." Ashaa nodded and crawled out after him.
They were in an empty jail cell, actually, the whole jail was empty save for the last cell at the back that contained a pile of rags and feathers that might have been a pegasus once. If the poor thing was still alive he/she hadn’t noticed them yet. Ashaa decided that on the way out of here she would come to free him/her. The only problem with that was to get to the part where they escaped they had to finish getting in. While Ashaa had been staring at the emaciated pink pegasus Donut had found the door to their cell was locked as was now trying to open it as quietly as possible. Ashaa knew plenty of spells to break the door, but all of them would make lots of noise. So they were stuck.
Donut hit the door in frustration, creating a loud clang!, Making the Pegasus in the back jump up from his/her sleeping position to sit up, glancing around wildly until his/her eyes landed on us.
"KEEP QUIET PRISONER! IF I HAVE TO COME DOWN THERE YOU'LL GET THE WHIP AGAIN!"
The pegasus cringed, looking towards the door of the jail then back at them. In a soft, rusty, feminine voice she replied, "Yes Sir! Sorry..." She then turned towards the two newcomers, shaking off the pile of rags she had been previously covered in. Now that all of her was visible it was obvious she wasn’t being fed, her ribs sticking sharply out of her chest. Her wings were tattered with quite a few feathers missing.
"How did you two end up here? Why didn’t I hear the zebras put you there?"
Ashaa was the first to respond, glancing at the hidden trapdoor behind her. "We snuck in here." The gaunt pegasus tilted her head in confusion, smiling slightly.
"Why would you sneak into a jail cell? If you’re trying to be stealthy wouldn’t this last place you wanna end up?" She had a good point there.
"Well... At the moment we’re trying to sneak out of the cell and into the base." Donut replied, glaring at the lock in front of his nose. The poor girl looked very confused now.
“But don’t you want to escape? Get out of this Celestia forsaken canyon?”
Ashaa smiled as she noticed a set of keys hanging from a hook on the wall across the hall from her. Using her magic she gently and quietly floated them over to Donut so he could open the door. "We’re here to retrieve a few things, that list now includes you. My name is Ashaa, and this is Donut. You are getting out of here, I promise."
The first clash was like nothing I have ever experienced before. The wall of enemies got closer and closer until you are muzzle to muzzle with your foe, hoof against talon and sword against scythe. When you're fighting like this all motivations slip away except for one, survive.
The zebras in the front had realized that their bullets were ineffective against me and decided to strap their guns to their backs and prepare for a melee battle, something I had hoped for. On Mount Eris, every hippogriff is required to have at least three years of combat training in case of an invasion from the Enclave or a similar threat. As a merchant my father made me take an extra four years so I would be truly ready for anything while out at sea, making me a melee expert.
Three zebras jumped at me, front hooves outstretched to try and shatter the magical shield I had up in front of me. With the momentum they had, they would probably succeed. So instead of letting them break my spell and my focus I dropped it and raised my talons to deflect the incoming hooves. Only one of my three assailants was able to react fast enough and re-aim his strike towards me, the other two flew off to either side of me, giving me a moment to deal with the first guy. That moment would not last long, however, so I had to act quick. Dodging the outstretched hoof I grabbed his foreleg and twirled him into another incoming foe, knocking them both into a heap. Hearing hoofsteps behind me a whirled around to find the third zebra now had a sword in his mouth and was advancing. I pulled my battle scythe out of its straps on my back and rose to meet him.
Our blades clashed violently again and again as we lunged and parried and dodged. While zebras may have the advantage when it comes to martial arts, having talons to grip my weapon definitely gave me the advantage in this brawl. Spinning my scythe I twisted the sword out of my opponent's mouth and then proceeded to hit him right between the eyes with the blunt end of my weapon, knocking him out cold.
I had only a second to remember the two zebras I had knocked over before I found myself shoved to the ground, both of them standing over me. One kicked the scythe out of my talon before I could aim it at them as the other delivered another painful kick to my side throwing me completely off balance. For some reason they allowed me to get up before attacking again. Big mistake. I used my magic to levitate my scythe, which was behind the zebras, who were now looking at me in confusion, 'why is his talon glowing red?' I could almost hear them think. I pulled my talon back, pulling the scythe with it. One soldier took the time to turn around and was cleanly decapitated. Now my weapon once again rested in my talons, the blade dripping red. The remaining zebra took one look at me and ran.
After finishing off the unconscious zebra I jumped sideways to avoid a flying knife. While I had been occupied another zebra had snuck up behind me and was now hurling various sharp objects in my direction. After dodging a wicked-looking tomahawk I charged him. The bastard saw what I was doing and pulled out a huge axe from his back and charged as well. which was just what I wanted. At the last second, I jumped up and over my opponent’s back. As I turned around I summoned Love and tolerance, my twin desert eagles, and opened fire upon the confused enemy, turning the poor zebra into a bloody, smoking heap. Two more approached from behind me, I quickly put a 13-millimetre explosive round into both of their heads. After that my memory got a little hazy. It became a rhythm, a pattern almost. Slash, duck, shoot, jump, reload, shoot, slash, duck, shoot.
Eventually, I ran out of opponents and was able to survey the battle going on around me. Even though we doing well now, we couldn’t keep this up for much longer. Ashaa had to get back soon. Sarge was standing proudly on a pile of bodies, with his riot shotguns long emptied he had taken to brutal melee, punching and kicking his way through his foes. Simmons was up on a hill taking potshots and tossing ammo to Lopez as he spewed Hisponic biblical nonsense and bullets simultaneously. Grif seemed to be running around frantically as if his tail was on fire, shooting his submachine gun randomly. Seven times out of ten he hit an enemy zebra, the other three were either the ground, sky, or Lopez. Lopez, being made of metal, took no damage from the small-calibre bullets but did find it annoying. "¡Oye idiota! ¡Deja de dispararme! ¡Coloca Fuego supresor a tu izquierda!"
Grif woke from his crazed stupor, glancing around frantically to make sense of his current situation.
"What!? Oh, sorry Lopez, the tank scared me... WAIT GUYS THE TANK IS HERE!"
I turned to look at the hill Grif was staring at to find it was true. The Legate had grown tired of the fight and was now riding on top of a 20-foot tall striped tank whilst grinning maniacally. Sarge glanced at me, nodding. It was time for me to finish this.
The Remnant base was a miniature labyrinth with its twists and turns and side tunnels and side-side tunnels. Thankfully their new companion Silent Storm knew the fastest way through to the flag room as it was called. Sneaking past the skeleton crew that guarded the building was easy due to the surprising amount of large potted plants, banners, and statues you could hide behind. After an extremely tense twenty minutes of hiding under a bench as two guards commented on the weather, (or lack thereof), the three acquaintances made it to their destination. It was a large circular room near the centre of the base, colourful banners lined the walls and covered the ceiling. In the middle of the rotunda placed in a small ornate stand was the flag.
The flag was a violent shade of blue with a smug-looking zebra holding a rifle while standing on top of a dead earth pony riddled with bulletholes and comical X's over its eyes. Ashaa quickly rolled up the flag and stuffed it in her Sub Dimension. For some reason, her brother called it his Inventory, as if he was part of a video game. If only she was in a video game or a story, one where everything works out and no one Ashaa cared about getting hurt.
But this was no fairy tale, this was Neigh Orleans, second only to Hoofington and Canterlot for the worst city in the wasteland. If she wanted a happy ending she had to work for it. Starting with getting the hell out of here.
The journey out was almost as uneventful as the journey in until the trio until they reached the barracks. By then someone had sounded the alarm, Ashaa needed to hurry. At the moment the three of them were stuck under a bunk bed as remnant soldiers rushed by above them. Two zebras were having a conversation right beside them. If Ashaa reached her talon out she could have touched them they were so close.
"Our one prisoner seems to have escaped and taken the flag sir."
"Gorramit Caboose! This is why we don’t give free tours to the enemy! Since she knows the layout of the base as well as we do it will take us forever to locate her! We have to get that flag back. If the soldiers hear it's gone then all Morale will be lost!"
"Sorry sir, she just looked really bored in there and-"
"Shut up and start searching Private!"
"Yes, sir!"
The pair then proceeded to race off with the rest of the soldiers, leaving the barracks empty. Donut peeked his head out from under the bed, looking left, then right.
"All clear, let's go." He whispered, pulling himself out with Silent Storm crawling out behind him. From there all they had to do was take a left through the kitchen, past a hallway, and then down to the jail.
Unfortunately, when Caboose was told to search the base, his first stop was the kitchen. Donut, who was in front, turned the corner to find him 'searching' the food cabinets for the escaped Pegasus. The second Donut opened the door Caboose's head shot up, a panicked look on his face.
"IswearIheardherinherebesidesshemustbehungryso- Oh, hey Donut! How have ya been! I haven’t seen you since I got possessed by an evil A.I and tried to kill everyone! Did that gunshot wound I accidentally gave you heal up nicely? Wait. Why are you here with a hippogriff and Storm?"
What?
"Well you see, I was coming over to say hi when we found Silent Storm. She said she was lost and was trying to find her way back to her jail cell, so that's where we’re taking her"
Caboose squinted at the three of them. As if trying to figure out if they were lying. It seemed like hours that Ashaa waited for Caboose to respond, though it was probably less than a minute. Finally, the Private nodded. Having decided that it was a good reason for two intruders and a prisoner to be wandering the base, he turned to leave the room. Right before he pushed open the door his head shot up and he turned around.
"Before I go, do any of you have our flag? We kinda lost it."
Donut quickly shook his head, trying very hard not to look at Ashaa.
"Sorry man, we don't, but I think I saw it in the storeroom down the hall."
"Oh, thanks! Church will be so happy I found our flag! Bye guys!"
"Bye!" The three relieved friends said in unison. The second Caboose was out the door they raced towards the jail, quickly opening the door of the cell and flipping the lid of the trapdoor open so fast the hinges almost broke off. Ashaa didn't look back until they were at the cog shaped door of the lab. Donut trotted over to the lever to close the door. Releasing a breath she hadn’t known she'd been holding, Ashaa sat down beside Silent Storm, who was on her side gasping for breath in between bouts of quiet laughter.
"Oh my, I haven’t had that much excitement in moons, or that much exercise. Ouch, I think my hind legs are cramping up. We should get going before the lactic acid in our muscles makes it painful to move."
Donut nodded as he helped Storm up to her hooves.
"Yeah. And we don’t have a lot of time. Sarge and the others can't hold off the Legate for much longer."
I didn’t think we could hold them off much longer. If I didn’t take out that tank fast we would all be fucked. The only other option was for Ashaa to come back with the flag, But that needed to happen right. fucking. now.
The massive striped tank fired its first round, missing Grif by barely a meter. Flinging the orange clothed zebra into the air screaming. He landed with a dull thud in front of Lopez, who was now directing his fire at the tank as there were no more remnant soldiers, they had all backed off to watch the show. One even had popcorn.
The Legate held a speaker to his muzzle as he hopped out of and onto the great war machine. "This is your last chance rebel scum! surrender now and I'll let the Gryphon live. he has no part in our battle."
"I am getting so tired of people calling me a gryphon! I'm a hippogriff! And since you're in Neigh Orleans, which happens to be my town, this is my battle!"
And with that, I pulled out Vindicta, my 55 calibre anti-machine rifle. I wasn’t the best with it, but it was big and scary, which usually makes lesser bad guys back off. I had a theory that if I shot a round right into the barrel it would hit the shell or something important and wreck the tank. The only problem was that I had to make the shot. I took careful aim, let out a breath, and pulled the trigger.
The round bounced off the side of the tank as it fired back, blowing the ground from underneath me. Vindicta fell out of my talons as I tumbled down what was left of the small hill I had been sitting on. I couldn’t hear it over the sound of my ears ringing, but I could see the Legate laughing.
"You have to do better than that to best me! But it was valiant, so your death will be quick."
Crawling over to my gun, I watched as the turret slowly turned towards me, preparing to fire again. It was over. I had tried so hard to help these people. Only to be gunned down in the mud.
No. I won't go down like this. Think of your friends, your family, your town. they need you. I jumped towards Vindicta just as the tank fired again, blowing me even closer to my gun. Picking it up I took aim once more, blinking the sweat and blood out of my eyes and waited. As the turret turned to point at me again, you could hear the next shell clunk into place, ready to fire.
I shot first.
The inside of the tank detonated, the force of the explosion shooting the Legate into the sky, his striped tail on fire. The remnant zebras behind him got to their hooves immediately, ready to fight as the Legate landed right at the hooves of the waiting Sarge.
"Well then old friend, ready to give up?"
The Legate slowly stood up, spitting out a few bloody teeth.
"I still have an army, when I say the word they'll tear into you. Even if you kill me they'll keep fighting."
"But an army needs the motivation to fight, and with no tank, no leader, and no flag. I think they’ll want to head home instead."
Everyone turned to look at Ashaa, standing proudly above us on a ledge. The Remnant flag in one talon.
"Ah fuck this, I ain't gonna lose my life for a cause I was paid to believe in. I'm gonna get the truck ready to go home, any who wanna follow me are welcome."
One zebra turned and trotted off, then two, four, ten, thirty, until only the defeated Legate remained. He sighed, looking from his ruined tank to the flag in Ashaa's talons.
"Damn it. And Damn you! How did you get into our base?"
Ashaa shrugged, shaking her head.
"You guys have terrible security. And way too many oversized objects to hide in."
"Well yes, we do a hide and seek championship every month. You can't do that without places to hide!"
These guys were idiots.
"Fuck. I guess you've won Sarge. What now?"
The red zebra pulled the Legate up to his hooves, a small smile on his muzzle.
"Now, Akra, we go home. I've had enough of this damn canyon." Akra smiled back.
"So have I, old friend. Let's go." Sarge turned to me, nodded, and left towards the redd base. the others followed suit. Until it was just me and Ashaa. She broke the silence first.
"Well you sure look like you had an adventure." I laughed, taking a closer look at my sister.
"So do you! What happened in there? Where's Donut?"
"Loooong story."
Checking my pipbuck I realized that Shadow had been trying to message me for almost 3 hours now. Since we had been gone all day I wasn’t surprised.
"We should head home, the others are getting worried."
"Sounds good to me! I don't care how boring it is there, I just want my bed!" we both laughed at that.
"Me too sister, let's go."