My Crazy Ex

by 23 KM To Nerdiness


Sunset Shimmer

[DAY 1]

Name's Charlie, your typical human schmuck.

I've been unemployed for about 4 months and....I caught my marefriend cheating on me. I just couldn't get myself to leave the apartment.

That's when I started playing online video games on my Neightendo Switch. My gamer name was 'Kingsman'.

"Yo, you SUCK, 'Kingsman'!" I heard from my headset.

I.....wasn't that great at it.

I realize now I was probably suffering from some mild depression.

"Kingsman, those other guys are kinda right, you STINK at this." a girl's voice stated.

"Ugh, I'm not uses to these controls." I groaned. "Plus, I never know what to say on this stupid headset."

"Just say you'll meet me for a drink."

I-I sorta panicked and I ended up agreeing to meet some random mare who called herself 'ShimmyGirl' that Saturday night.

[DAY 6]

"Kingsman?" a light amber coated mare waved. "Is that you?"

She was NOT what I expected.

"I was thinking you wouldn't show." she sighed in relief. "Sunset Shimmer. You're expected some type of shut in, I assume?"

"N-No, no." I mumbled. "Not at all."

Not by a long shot, she was easily the most attractive mare I've ever been out with.

"C-Can I get you a drink or something?" I asked.
"Sure." she giggled. "Cider will do just fine."

I never met anypony like Sunset. She was direct, she was confident, she was FEARLESS. We jumped right past the usual first date questions.

I was going on about my sick writing skills, she was talking about her favorite zombie movies and games.

She loved horror stuff.

Sunset.....had a way of saying things that were funny. But not really, like, 'HA HA' funny.

"I'm still surprised a mare asked me out tonight." I chuckled. "I was afraid I might've ran into some creepy stallion guy."

"Don't worry," she said. "you're safe with me.........for now."

Later that night, I see she's definitely different than the girl's I've dated before. ALOT different.

I wasn't exactly a lady's guy, but I've been with a few. But none with Sunset's level of.......enthusiasm.

"OW." I winced, feeling the scar forming on my lip as Sunset pulled away from the kiss.

And to call her unpredictable would be an absolute understatement.

"OW!" I yelled, rubbing the hoof scratches on my back.

"O-Oh, I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?" she gasped.

"W-Well, no, it's just my-"

SMACK!!!

She slapped me.

At that moment, I realized that I HAD to get out of there, go home, and never chat with her again.

But that's not what I did...

[DAY 41]

"Okay, I am going to make you a legend." Sunset stated. "Time to up your high score, what's your password?"

"Yeah, right." I scoffed.

"Aww, come on, it's just a game."

I figured she was right, maybe I was being a bit paranoid. Giving her my gaming password would've shown how honest I was to her.

"Okay then, it's my name plus my birthday." I stated.

What caught me off guard was how fast she typed everything in.

"Wait, do you even know my-"

"Your birthday was April 20th, 1999." she said matter of factly. "In Canterlot Hospital at 9:45 AM, that right?"

"......wow."

"It's important to listen, Charlie." she nodded.

[DAY 75]

Sunset and I usually had fun together. But every time we play a game of ANY kind....

She would get really competitive.

"I have an idea." she said after a quick round of darts. "Why don't we up the stakes? You need a little SKIN in the game to get you focused."

Now, by this time, I was pretty used to the rough stuff...

"How about a little William Tell?" Sunset snickered, waving an apple around in her magic.

But this was, like, pretty bucking stupid.

"B-But you saw how BAD I was, right?" I said.

"But I am awesome."

I thought she was just trying to scare me, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me back down.

I had to call her bluff.

"It'll be over before you know it, Charlie." Sunset hums.

"U-Uh, Sunset-"

"Don't talk." she cut me off. "You don't wanna throw off my AIM, don't you?"

Right there, I saw that I might've underestimated her. And I remembered just how much she liked to inflict pain.

She was SERIOUSLY gonna do this.

PLOP!

To this day, I can still hear the sound of that dart STICKING into that apple.

"That........was fun, I guess." I panted.

"My turn." she squeaked, placing a fresh apple on her head.

"H-How about we play a different game instead?"

"Oh, come ON. Don't worry, I trust you."

There's silly.

There's stupid.

And then there's plain idiotic.

This was bucking IDIOTIC.

"Do it, dude." she grunted. "Do it, or I'm walking out of here."

"This is dumb, Sun, I'm not gonna-"

"DO IT-"

PLOP!

She scared me. And I panicked.

And there was the dart...

Dangling from her bleeding cheek.

"S-Sunset!" I whined. "I'm so sorry about-"

I was freaking out and she was standing there like she couldn't feel a thing.

"Leave it." she said nonchalantly.

"Sweet Celestia..."

Then, she just KISSED me like nothing happened.

That's when I finally realized exactly which level of crazy Sunset was.

[DAY 78]

After the darting disaster, I needed a few days to gather the courage to tell Sunset that it was just not gonna work out between us. So, I did what any guy would do in this:

I texted her. Through game chat.

"Maybe we should take a couple of days apart. To think, ya know?"

I sent.

And then, I got this.

☹ 😡 😠 ☠

She......didn't take it very well.

[DAY 80]

A couple of days later, I was back to my old habits, feeling pretty good about leaving Sunset and all that craziness behind. Although, I couldn't, for the life of me, sign in with my password.

And then it hit me.

I gave Sunset my password. She was behind this. But that wasn't the worst part.

At the time, I was one of those idiots who use the same password for everything.

"r u scared?"

I read from the chat.

"U SHOULDN'T HAVE BETRAYED ME.
U SHOULDN'T HAVE BROKEN MY TRUST.
U AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET."

Suddenly, the power in my apartment went out.
"This could be bad." I groaned. "This could be REALLY bad."

[DAY 100]

By the time I regained control of all my accounts, Sunset had bought game controllers, life-sized anime figures, and these rare vintage horror movie posters. I was like a bit machine for anypony Sunset had been in contact with online, but at least the nightmare was finally over.

I had my first job interview in 6 months for a job that I knew was perfect for me. My life was finally getting back on track.

The interview was a piece of cake, acing all the usual questions the guy was throwing at me.

"So, why do you think you have the potential to do what we do?" he asked me.
"I'm passionate about work. Uh, it's something I think about often when I get up in the morning, I've never had a problem being part of a team or taking a leadership role."

"And YET, you seem to hate coming to work."

I had no idea what he was talking about.

"I-I'm sorry, what?" I stuttered.

"Before we interview ANYPONY, we always do a basic online search." he stated. "Your name brings up quite a colorful video."

Sunset recorded me the night I got laid off from my last job. She said she wanted me to see me how stupid I am when I'm drunk.

Turns out, she posted it everywhere.

Yes, I admit I talked like an idiot. I was frustrated and I was venting.

And DRUNK!

"S-Sir, wait, my ex-marefriend did this, s-she's absolutely crazy-"

"That'll be enough, thank you." he sighed. "Your application will be under......consideration."

For the next few months, I couldn't even get a damn interview. But I learned a valuable lesson from Sunset:

True terror, true pain, true FEAR, doesn't come in the form of zombies or monsters. It comes from not listening to your gut and not running away as fast as you can when you know you should.

Police didn't have enough evidence to charge Sunset Shimmer.

Charlie's currently dating a pacifist....'off the grid'.