//------------------------------// // Chapter three: How NOT to Crash a Wedding // Story: A Guide To Surviving Baby Alicorns // by Foal Star //------------------------------// It was now late into the night as both Celestia and Luna were in their nursery, flying around and throwing plushies at each other in a playful fight. Twilight, for her part, was chasing the two rambunctious foals around with steam coming out of her nose while shouting. “Stop this at once! You two need to get your sleep! All foals go to bed when they’re told or they get cranky, so please go to sleep!” Luna plopped onto the ground with her diaper crinkling quite loudly as she cried. “Dun wanna! I gonna stay up aww night wong. I ta Pwincess of ta night!” Celestia flew next to her sister, landing with a loud, crinkly plop from her diaper as she babbled. “Yeah! If Wuwu stays up I wanna do it too! Not faiw tat I gots to go to sweep eawiew." Twilight wasn’t in a mood to argue, it had been less than a day and already she was growing frustrated. So she stomped a hoof down and ordered. “That's enough! Until you’re adults again you will listen to me and go to sleep right now! Stop making this difficult for all of us!” The princesses looked into Twilight’s eyes, seeing how annoyed and angry she appeared to be. Any desire they might have had to keep misbehaving faded away right then and there. They both fluttered down and into their respective cribs. Twilight then went to each foal and started to tuck them under the blankets as she cooed. “Now, I’m putting a baby monitor on, so you better not do anything naughty or stay up late, because I’ll hear it. And I’ll punish you both very harshly!” Celestia sighed as she scrunched the padding between her legs, making it crinkle as she babbled. “Otay, Twily, we be good.” Luna kicked in her padding, making it crinkle as well. “Yeah, we be good foaws, we pwomise!” Twilight eyed the princesses and growled under her breath. “You’d better, I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” Then she sighed, taking a deep breath. “Now before I go, do you two need anything?” The two princesses their heads and Twilight went about giving them a kiss on their foreheads. “Okay then, goodnight you two. And remember, Luna, no dream walking. I read that foals your age might mess up other ponies dreams if you do that.” Luna pouted wanting to dream walk, but at the same time she didn't want to make Twilight more angry so she mumbled. "Otay I wun dweam wawk. I pwomise." “Good. See you both in the morning.” Twilight declared. She then slowly closed the door and left. But the two baby alicorns waited to hear Twilight leave, before Celestia got up, using the bars on her crib and showing off her cute, thick dark blue nighttime diaper with her sister's cutie mark printed on it to her sister as she whispered. “Hey, Wuwu, I need to ask you someting.” Luna chuckled and also stood up, using the bars of her crib while also showing off her cute dark blue diaper to her sister as she asked. “Suwe, wha is it? Awso, tat diapee with my cutie mawk wooks good on ya.” The sun princess got a little flustered and scrunched her padding between her legs as she whined. “Not my fauwt! Discowd didn’t suppwy us with nightime diapees with my cutie mawk!” Luna bounced up and down in excitement. “Yeah, tat too bad! So, wha ya wanna ask me about?” The princess of the sun whispered under her breath. “Wook, I gots to do something impowtant tomowwow. I gots to go to a wedding.” The night princess gasped and exclaimed! “Oh yeah! Ya suppose to be one that says ‘Ya may now kiss ta bride’ and stuff! I wanna do tat too!” Celestia, getting excited like her sister, started bouncing up and down thus making foal powder poof out from her padding. “Weww of couse, ya a pwincess! Is one ting we do fow famous ponies and stuff!” Luna eyed her sister and whispered back. “But, how we gonna do tat? I mean we foaws and aww. Ya evew heawd of foaws hosting a wedding?” The princess of the sun plopped onto her diaper in a cloud of foal powder and started to suckle on her hoof. “I dun know, but I pwomised ta do it, and I tink it would be supew cute if I did tat as a foaw. But I need ya help to covew fow me.” Luna gave a disappointed sigh as she babbled. “Fine, I’ww twy. But if Twiwy finds out we did tis she gonna be supew mad at us.” Celestia rolled her eyes and responded. “Weww, aww we have to do is make suwe tat she nevew does.” Her sister crossed her hooves and scrunched her diaper between her legs as she declared. “Ya gonna owe me big time for hewpin ya.” Celestia blushed as she babbled to her sister. “I’ww be sure to think of something, I pwomise.” Luna snickered, seeing her sister being so happy. Then whispered. “Uh...I...I...” The princess of the sun eyed her sister as Luna suddenly lit up her horn and teleported from her crib into Celestia’s. The princess of the night snuggled herself into her sister as she babbled. “I wanna sweep with you. Is been too wong since we wast swept together.” The princess of the sun snuggled her sister with their diapers crinkling, and as they scrunched together she cooed. “Yeah, I so happy we together. We need to do tis more often.” They nuzzled each other as the two sisters hugged each other and drifted off to sleep. Meanwhile in another part of the castle, Twilight was quite exhausted from the day’s events. She slowly walked down the hallway of the castle and headed to her room to rest. As she approached she looked up with wide eyes and saw that above her door read “Room of the Royal Nanny.” Twilight rolled her eyes seeing Discord at work, and slowly opened the door to reveal quite a large bedroom with a huge canopy bed. There was a purple carpet stretching out beneath her hooves, a spa in the corner of the room, and a bookshelf filled with all kinds of books on raising foals. She then turned to see that across from her bed was a closet and inside were dozens of aprons. She even noticed a few maternity dresses, which made her blush and whisper under her breath. “Oh my...Discord really went all out here. I guess I should’ve expected that,” The mare slowly took off her apron. After hanging it up she took out the books Cadence had given her and started to read through them. She then placed all the other foal stuff that Cadence gave her aside and snickered. “I have so much foal stuff, I can probably run an entire day care here. If only Celestia and Luna weren’t so hard to keep out of trouble. If today is any indication, I’m gonna have to foalproof the entire castle from top to bottom.” Twilight then decided to walk over to the spa to unwind, slowly she dipped her body into the large, soapy waters, letting the pink suds soak around her body. The mare sighed quite loudly as she relaxed. “Oh my gosh, this feels so good! I haven’t had a bath like this in ages!” Twilight must have been in the spa for quite some time, but the mare eventually got out. When she looked into the mirror and saw that her body had grown a little, she shrugged and went to bed. “I’m probably just going to be taller so I can look more like a princess. I’ll go back to normal when this is over.” She thought, then she snuggled underneath her sheets and sunk into the comfortable mattress, reading that big book on raising foals. However the relaxing bath she took had made her feel very comfortable as she began to feel sleepy. Soon after her eyes began to droop and she slowly fell into a deep sleep. Celestia and Luna both were quite surprised when they woke up the next morning, looking up at Twilight. Before their eyes the mare from the night before was now taller and had purple feathered wings sprouting from her back. The baby alicorns babbled excitedly, trying to tell Twilight about her new body. However, the mare was quite tired and didn't seem to notice as she went about changing the princesses soggy diapers. After their diapers were changed Celestia raised the sun (then her diaper was changed a second time as the strain from raising the sun had caused her to suffer a humiliating accident). Then the two baby alicorns were taken to the kitchen for breakfast by a tired Twilight, who still didn't seem to notice what had happened to her body just yet. The two princesses snickered and giggled as they ate a breakfast consisting solely of oatmeal, and Celestia upon seeing Twilight wake up. The sun princess eventually had to point out. “Hey Twiwy! Ya noticed something stwange about ya?" Luna, munching on her oatmeal, chimed in. "Yeah, ya notice tat ya gots wings and wook a wot tawwew?" Twilight shrugged as she yawned and stretched as she replied. “I’m not sure what you two are talking about, I feel fine…” But then she gasped upon seeing the massive wings sprouting from her back! “What?! Where did these come from?!” The mare circled around herself and shouted, “Discord! This must be his chaos magic! Ugh! What else is he going to do to me?!” She then placed the foals down in a giant, pink playpen in the throne room as she grumbled. “Alright you two, just stay here for right now. I’m going to find Discord and give him a piece of my mind.” After Twilight stormed away, Luna turned to her sister and exclaimed. "Hey sissy! If ya wanna go to tat wedding, you shouwd go wight now!” The baby alicorn nodded and exclaimed. "Wight, I better get going! Wish me wuck!" She slowly closed her eyes and squinted until she teleported away in a puff of smoke. The wedding itself was in the heart of Canterlot, with the sun shining down at a makeshift altar under an arch made of flowers. Battleheart, a chestnut coated stallion with blonde locks and red eyes was dressed in a snazzy tuxedo, standing at the altar. He was blushing as he turned to look down the aisle where there were dozens of ponies in the crowd, along with five foals he and his special somepony had adopted. Said foals currently being held by a portly unicorn nanny. Battleheart waved a hoof as they babbled and raised their hooves at him. Then he blushed as he fixed his bowtie, as he saw a mare named Morning Dew come down the aisle in a lovely white, flowing wedding dress. She was a young, white coated unicorn mare with a lovely gold mane and blue eyes. The mare flashed her cute eyelashes at him and slowly walked over to her soon to be husband. They stood there for a moment, looking deep into their eyes. The mare blushed as she asked Battleheart. “So...are you ready for this? I know that things between us have been... you know... hard when we suddenly adopted five kids.” Battleheart rolled his eyes and grumbled. “Yeah, it's definitely been hard. Those five foals have literally been driving me crazy. So many diapers and bottles!” The mare was quite surprised to hear this, but the stallion nuzzled her face and whispered. “But...I wouldn’t ask to do it with anypony else. With you by my side I know we’ll raise those foals right.” They then turned to see the altar, where Celestia was supposed to be nopony stood. Braveheart sighed, “I guess we couldn’t find a pony to replace Celestia.” Morning Dew chuckled. “Well nopony would have expected Celestia and Luna turned into foals. I guess we could just skip the whole speech part and just say our ‘I do’s’?” Braveheart nodded and exclaimed. “Sure, why not?! That way we can get to the fun part faster! But who should say it first?” “Stop!” The two ponies squeaked as they looked around in time see Celestia appearing on the podium, bouncing up and down on her padded rump! “Ya two not gonna say anything untiw I say someting,” Many of the ponies in the crowd laughed and dawwed at Celestia being quite cute. Undeterred, the princess continued. “Now I gotta say, tese two awe so coow! Battleheawt adopted five foaws when tey gots nowhewe to go! He is a supew coow guawd who know how to change diapees, and cawe fow foaws wike no daddy out thewe. He does tis cute ting with ta diapees, making suwe he pouws foaw powdew on ta diapees and ovew ta rump and is so much tat ta foaws gots foaw powdew expwoded evewywhewe! Is so funny!” Many of the ponies in the crowd cheered as Battleheart’s face turned a deep red and he scratched the back of his head. The alicorn baby, meanwhile, turned her attention to the bride. “Mowning Dew is a vewy good mawe. We tawks awot at pawties, and she wikes to pway with my son Bucket Bwidwe. She is kind and vewy genorous, hewpin ta pweschool with hewpin pay fow a pwaygwound. I wuv pwaygwounds, tey so much fun, especiawy ta sandbox! I wememba when Mownin Dew was a foaw and she wuv puttin sand in hew diapees...dun know how I wememba tat…” Morning Dew giggled as the crowd started to laugh, just as Celestia raised her hooves showing off her padded front as she exclaimed. “Now, I tink is time to say ya ‘I Do’s’. So, Mowning Dew, do ya take Battweheawt as ya husband?” But a blast of light exploded as Luna suddenly appeared right next to Celestia and exclaimed! “Nuh uh! Is my tuwn to say some stuff and ask tat!” She turned to Battleheart. “So tis guawd is coow, he hewps Cannon Feathew to use ta potty and does awot of wowk with his own foaws. He ta numbew one dad eva! One time he was wate to his shift and he had diapees on his head and foaw powdew aww ovew him. My son Cannon Feathew cawwed him ta diapee monstew cause of tat.” Battleheart slammed a hoof to his face as Luna turned her attention to Morning Dew and exclaimed. “Now fow tis wovewy mawe, she so fun! I did some dweam wawkin and found hew thinking of being a foaw hewsewf! She such a cutie, waning to pway with Battleheart’s foaws. She even had a dweam whewe she was a foaw at tis wedding!” The crowd roared in more laughter as Morning Dew was now getting embarrassed and whispered. “Can we skip to the ‘I do’s’ please?” Luna bounced on her thick, padded rump, making it crinkle quite loudly. “Yep, is my tuwn. So, Mowning Dew, do ya take Battweheawt as ya husband?” Celestia stomped about, throwing a tantrum. "Nah uh, I was supposed ta say tat! Ya stowe my wines!” Luna turned and shouted. “Ya did tis wike a hundwed times fow ta wast thousand yeaws! I wana do it!” The princess of the sun snapped back. “Nuh uh, I wana do it! I was asked and ya wasn’t!” Soon the two foal started bickering and Morning Dew snapped. "Hey you two, stop fighting this instant! Or I’m going to tell Twilight! I don’t think she’ll be happy to hear you snuck out of the castle.” The two foals stopped in their tracks, terrified of what Twilight would do in her new alicorn body if she caught them like this. They both whimpered. “Yes, Mrs. Mowning Dew.” The mare continued. “Now, you two can share your lines. Don't fight on our wedding day." Celestia crossed her hooves and growled. “So who goes fiwst?” Morning Dew and Battleheart looked back at each other as Luna saw an opportunity and declared. "I go fiwst! Battweheawt, do ya take Mowning Dew as ya wife?" The stallion blushed as he whimpered. "I do." Celestia got a little flustered again and stomped about in frustration. "Is my tuwn now! So, Mowning Dew, do ya take Battewheawt as ya husband?" Morning Dew turned to face the stallion and stared deep into his eyes as she whispered. "I do." The two princesses squealed in delight as they raised their hooves and exclaimed. "Ten ya is husband and wife, kiss!" The couple blushed as they came together and kissed each other, holding each other in their embrace. As everypony in the crowd clapped and cheered, Luna turned to her sister and whispered. “Otay, time to go back befowe Twilly finds out wewe gone." Celestia, however eyed the seven layer wedding cake on the table, adorned in white frosting with pink icing outlining every layer. The foal's mouth began to drool. "C...Can I have a wittwe bit of cake befowe I go?" Luna tried to stop her sister, but it was too late as she disappeared in a puff of smoke and appeared in the middle of the cake! Pieces of said cake rained down on the ponies in the crowd! They were all quite surprised at seeing Celestia take big globs of cake and shove them into her mouth! Luna teleported herself right next to her sister and babbled. "Ya can't do tis! Ya wuinin' ta weddin'!" Celestia just grabbed more of the cake with her hooves. "I sowie, but is too good! Ya gots to twy some!" She slammed a hoof full of cake into her sister's mouth who suckled on it. Luna exclaimed with eyes wide! "Oh, is so good!" They soon both began giggling and shoving pieces of cake into each others mouth, getting quite messy. The crowd of ponies just dawwed at the scene as wedding photographers took dozens of pictures. However Twilight suddenly appeared with her face a deep red from frustration. She stomped over, shouting "Celestia and Luna, you get your flanks over here this instant! I can’t believe you did this!" They both whimpered, slowly fluttering over to Twilight as she strapped them down in a stroller. "You two are in so much trouble when we get back to the castle! How many times do I have to tell you two not to wander off and cause trouble?!" Everypony at the wedding was quite surprised to see the grayish-purple coated alicorn in all her pink apron glory, and everypony around instinctively bowed. Twilight exclaimed as she threw up her hooves. "I'm not actually a princess! This is just Discord's magic at work, like it is with Celestia and Luna." Battleheart slowly walked over to Twilight and replied. "Um...I don't mean to pry but uh...don't punish them too much, they meant well." Morning Dew ran over and chriped. "Yeah, they were just so adorable and made this wedding quite memorable." Twilight gave a long deep sigh as she grumbled. "Well they won't be punished too severely. But they still snuck out of the castle, took over your wedding, and ruined your cake. I can’t overlook all of that." Morning Dew waved a hoof. "It's just a cake, we can get another one. And after you’ve properly punished these two cuties and set them down for a nap, why don't you join us for the wedding? We’re going to be partying all day and into the night. You could use a break." Twilight looked over the foals, making sure they were strapped into their stroller as she responded. "I'll see. I might be too busy with these foals to do more than just swing by, though." Battleheart came over and whispered. "Do you need any help? I have a lot of experience with foals now, and I could be useful with foal sitting if you need it." Twilight turned and shook her head. "No, it’s fine. I have to do this on my own according to Discord's stupid bet," She then rose and turned to the couple. "Congratulations on your wedding though, I hope your day gets a lot better." They both nodded and watched as Twilight walked off, strutting out of the wedding. Battleheart sighed. "She really is struggling with those foals I hope she's going to be alright." Morning Dew nuzzled her husband and cooed, "Oh, she'll be fine, now come on let's go and enjoy the rest of our wedding." And the newly weds kissed each other one more time.