//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 - Surprise // Story: The End of Time // by Leondude //------------------------------// Laeyoon was still sitting at the table, silently despairing over his predicament,  (with the occasional non-silent burp here and there). And as he did so, the ape creature decided to chat with him some more. "So...I take it you're new here?" he asked. "Yes," Laeyoon grumbled. "Hey, don't worry about it," the ape creature said. "When I first came here, I had no interest in being a good guy. Didn't really go with my whole 'big powerful magic guy' thing at the time. So I decided to make some business with a guy that offered me almost unlimited power, tried to destroy the world, got betrayed by that guy, guy messed around with my head, turned me into a chicken and sent me to an alternate dimension, I literally beat myself up, twice, came back here, got revenge on the guy. Long story short, I realized being a good guy is better for business than being a bad guy." "If you think that it's a wise idea to be a slave to people with a different moral alignment than you instead of slaughtering them all like animals, then you sir are an idiot." "Hey, have you ever been stabbed in the back before?!" the ape said. "Yes. Both figuratively and literally," Laeyoon said. "Oh. Wow, real dark there, buddy." "Well, I am a Dark Lord of the Sith." As if to demonstrate, Laeyoon began to lift a pencil into the air above his desk by waving his hand. "Ooh, that's good. Maybe you can talk to Discord to see if you can keep that title. After all, being dark isn't inherently bad and he still gets to be called Discord. Then again, that's probably because it's his real name and it's probably not a great idea to give someone who could rip the fabric of reality a nickname he wouldn't like." "That is correct!" Discord said while making his entrance into the classroom. He was wearing a black robe with a black wig and talking in a silly voice that made him sound like a duros trying to speak Basic for the first time, which is quite unusual since there are plenty of duros that speak Basic perfectly. As far as Laeyoon was concerned, Discord's outfit wouldn't look out of place in the Sith Academy. He wondered if he could convince Discord to ditch these equines and try and get a seat on the Dark Council, or better yet, trick him into becoming the Voice of the Emperor. The day passed by at a snail's pace, and after many painful lessons, most of the pain being directed at the area of his legs, Laeyoon belted out of the school and ran to a secluded area to breathe a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, his relief was cut short when an equine creature pointed a sword directly at his throat. He was dressed in a red jumpsuit with a mask that had two dark circles around the eyes. "You’ve gotta be kidding me!" Laeyoon said in the most exhausted tone possible. "I wish I were, Darth Maul!" the jumpsuit pony replied. "Who the hell is Darth Maul?!" "Never mind, must have you confused with a different Sith Lord." the jumpsuit pony relieved his sword from Laeyoon's throat. "If that's the case, good to know I'm not the only Nightbrother to make it out of that arse-pit Dathomir!" "Yeah…" the jumpsuit pony once again pointed his sword at Laeyoon's throat, "Anyways, give me one good reason why I should cut your head off right now!" "Is this because I came out of that stupid school?" Laeyoon asked. "No, it's because you killed Qui-Gon Jinn. OF COURSE IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WERE WALKING OUT OF THAT SCHOOL!" the jumpsuit pony yelled. "Ever heard of infiltration? While it's such an Imperial Agent thing to do, I had no choice because the rulers of this land will behead me if I tried anything," Laeyoon said. "First of all, I don't think Celly and Lulu are the types that like to behead people. And second, they retired." "Retired?" Laeyoon asked. "Yes. They decided ruling the world was tiring so they retired." "So there was no coup?" "Nope." "No revolution?" "Nada." "Not even the people trying to elect them out of power?" "This isn't Naboo, Laeyoon. Royals actually stick around until they die and pass on their rule to their next of kin. And since those two are immortal, they probably don't have to worry about having an heir," the jumpsuit pony said. "So they just decided to retire? Just like that?" "Yep." Laeyoon thought to himself while sinking in the revelation the equine has shared with him. Did the princesses really just abandon their people like that? They have the ability to move celestial bodies, and yet they just decided to up and kriff off? Then again, that was exactly what the Sith Emperor did after the Treaty of Coruscant, but at least he was still recognized as being in charge and he worked from the shadows up until that incident on Voss. Enslaving these ponies will be easier than Laeyoon could have ever dreamed. "And who is in charge now?" Laeyoon asked. "Why this lovely mare of course!" the jumpsuit pony said while pulling out a picture of a tall blue and red humanoid robot that looked like a semi-trailer truck with arms and legs, holding a large pistol in his hand. The jumpsuit pony in red immediately noticed what picture he was holding and put it back. "Oops, that's the wrong leader! Although I'm not going to lie, it would be pretty cool if he was in charge of this planet. Anyways, this is the new leader of Equestria!" He then pulled out a picture of a little pony with a purple coat, a pair of wings, a little horn, and a dark purple mane with a pink stripe through it. Laeyoon looked at the picture of what is apparently the new ruler of the planet and tried to hold in a sudden fit of giggles. He failed miserably. "Ahahahahahaha! Are you kriffing serious?! This little pipsqueak is the ruler of the planet now!? She's smaller than the other princesses and they entrusted her to look after their kingdom in their retirement?! Oh, what a day! What a lovely day!" "Oh, apparently, you're also going to be getting a delivery from Kronos," the jumpsuit pony said. "Is it a new holocommunicator because my old one broke the same time my legs did when I decided to let go of my lightsaber, which had inexplicably turned into an inflatable. And that's not even mentioning the fact that the heads of our forces were suddenly inflated as well," Laeyoon said. "Oh, I remember that! Big balloon heads! Haha! Hilarious!" "Not when it's happening to us, it's not!. Any idea what the package is?" Laeyoon asked. "Nope. When Kronos said you were getting a surprise, I thought that was merc-speak for 'cut his head off',." the jumpsuit pony scraped his forehoof with his sword for emphasis, dribbling blood onto the ground. "Charming. I take it I will have to pick the delivery up at my hideout," Laeyoon said. "Nope, you can pick it up at the post office. Well, I think you can anyways. Worth a shot!" One trip to the post office later, where Laeyoon had to put up with an employee's annoying incompetence, he finally got his anonymous package. In the empire, such stupidity is punishable by death. It got even worse when he found out that the employee in question was associated with Doctor Whooves. Maybe he can convince Whooves to kill that employee should he ever permanently join forces with him. And when he walked back to Doctor Whooves' house, he opened the package and, surprise surprise, it was a new holocommunicator. He turned it on and there was Kronos, in all his holographic glory. "It took you long enough," Laeyoon said in an annoyed tone. "Well, what can I say?" Kronos said in the same courteous tone as always, "I honestly assumed you and your friends were dead. Tell me, which one do you think would be more embarrassing? Getting killed an Earth pony or getting killed by an ewok?" "Kriff you!" Laeyoon shouted. "Now now, there's no need to be like that. After all, I have wonderful news," Kronos said. "Let me guess, the princesses have retired." "The princesses have.....Okay, when and how?" "The mercenary you hired told me when he was about to cut my head off for what looked like treason but was actually reconnaissance," Laeyoon said. "Oh, you'll have to forgive Mercenary. He can be a bit trigger-happy. And stab-happy. And disintegration-happy. Kind of like you actually." "I'm flattered," Laeyoon said in a dry tone. "Anyways, where exactly are you right now?"  "I appear to be in some sort of laboratory. Do you know anyone named Doctor Whooves?" "I do. What of him?" Kronos asked in a suspicious tone.  "Well, that's because I happen to be in his home right now. Certainly bigger on the inside, I assure you," Laeyoon said. "Good. I have been meaning to catch up with Doctor anyways." Kronos pointed behind Laeyoon's head. "Speaking of which, you may want to turn to where I'm pointing." Laeyoon obliged and noticed the door was open and Whooves has been listening to their conversation with a terrified look on his face. Laeyoon then glanced back at Kronos on the holocommunicator. "There's an old Equestrian saying at times like this," Kronos said while looking at Whooves and then back to Laeyoon, "Speak of the draconequus and he shall appear". The holocommunicator then shut off and Laeyoon looked back at Whooves before giving a nervous smile and putting a hand to one of his horns. "I can explain."