[DAY 1]
I'm Don.
I've been divorced for about 8 months, and honestly wasn't doing well. I was a bit of a stress eater and started chowing down like your typical college freshman again.
And it showed. Something needed to change.
[DAY 3]
If I was gonna get my life back on track, I needed to start by getting my lazy ass off the COUCH. So I wrangled my best friend, Soarin, and hoped that he'd help motivate me.
"On to the next one!" the pegasus stated.
"D-Dude, I've only been on this for like......FIVE minutes." I said.
"Yeah, yeah, that's what this cross fit stuff is about. You hit as many machines as you can. I'm gonna try that one over there."
Soarin saying he'd help me get off the extra weight and him ACTUALLY being able to do it......were two VERY different things.
"Hey, you need some help?" a light blue pegasus.
"U-Uh....." I stuttered.
It's not often when a pretty mare walks up and talks to me. So when I saw her, I felt and probably acted like an IDIOT.
"Uh.......t-this equipment isn't what I'm used to.......it's been awhile."
I was completely out of my element.
"Hey, no sweat." she scoffed. "You've met the right pony. Name's Rainbow Dash. I'm a personal trainer."
"Don." I said, shaking her hoof.
"I've got some time before my next client is due, lemme take you through some exercises." Rainbow asked with a playful shove. "On the house."
"O-Okay, sure."
I figured what the hell, GO with it.
It was clear that during that workout, Soarin had a look of shock seeing me with somepony like Rainbow. For the first time in my life, I was the envy of every guy and stallion in the room.
What, you think I was about to complain or question it?
It was friggin' awesome!
"Well, I've gotta head out." Rainbow sighed. "But I'd love to whip your butt into shape. Now, I don't pick just ANYONE as a client."
It was the best sales pitch EVER.
"You know where to find me if you're interested." she said before slipping a calling card into my hand.
And.....how could I resist?
"When can we start?"
[DAY 4]
Rainbow was like those weight loss infomercials. Promising you that the weight'll just MELT away.
"Do you really think I can lose 30 pounds in 40 days?" I asked her. "That just seems like......alot."
"Well, the bigger you are, the easier the weight comes off." she stated. "Based on your BMI, it's totally doable. You look perfectly healthy."
"You look professional." I uttered.
"Remember, it's not just about exercise, so NO junk food. Only the foods on the list, got it?"
I didn't know HOW I was gonna do it. But if there's one trainer and one BODY that could make me do it...
It was her.
"Whatever you say."
"That's right, WHATEVER I say."
[DAY 5]
Over the next week, I hit that gym HARD. Every. Day.
"You feel it in your core now?" she asked, rubbing my stomach as I lifted weights.
"Y-Yeah." I said, dopey grin on my face.
"Good. Give me 50 more."
I had to say, Rainbow was TOUGH. But she had this way that made me wanna do more. I won't lie, getting back into shape sucked. "No pain, no gain!" she'd always say.
Now, if my trainer was a DUDE, I probably would've given up right away. But I kept telling myself that this was good for me, even though it didn't FEEL like it was good for me.
"How bad do you want it?" Rainbow panted as we jogged. "Give it to me!"
"I gonna give.......I'm gonna PUKE!"
I just hope that it wouldn't KILL me.
Although, I was kind of proud of myself. A few weeks ago, I was sitting on my couch eating my way towards an early death, and now I was working out with a hot mare. I was psyched.
"Let's see, Don, you've lost.......3 pounds this week." Rainbow groaned.
"T-That's great!" I exclaimed. "It's no on schedule but, any progress is good, right?"
"No, we NEED to rev up your metabolism. I've got something for that."
I gotta hand it to her, she was COMMITTED. And she took her job SERIOUSLY.
"Here," she said, handing me a round container. "it's a protein energy herbal supplement. Three spoons in water, three times a day. Pounds will melt away."
It seemed too good to be true, but I wanted to lose weight. And she seemed to know what she was doing. So, without a second thought, I went with it.
[DAY 18]
The last few workouts were killing me. As good as it felt to finally be losing weight, I'd be lying of I said I didn't have second thoughts, about everything.
I thought maybe one night off might be enough to get me motivated again.
However, before I could get a moment to chillax, Rainbow suddenly just shows up at my front door and just pins me to the wall.
"Today, I'm gonna EXPAND your program!" she huffed, pulling me into rough kiss.
Was I surprised?
HELL yeah!
[DAY 19]
The next morning, I felt like I'd run a marathon, exhausted and in pain. I told myself Rainbow was being considerate and didn't wanna wake me when she left.
I was feeling pretty good about myself. Even when I saw the twelve sticky notes on my bathroom mirror.
Dashie really, really, REALLY wanted to motivate me. But the part I couldn't stop thinking about:
Did she ALWAYS carry those photos of herself around?
[DAY 22]
That day, me and Rainbow were watching the baseball game while lifting weights.
"Ugh, I gotta use the bathroom." I grunted. "If the doorbell rings and it's Soarin, would you please get it?"
"No prob." she breathes.
"I got NACHOS!!!" I heard from the bathroom. It was Soarin.
Now, he knew about my weight loss sessions with Rainbow, but there were just some things that are sacred between bros.
Like baseball.
Yo, Donny, you're never gonna believe what I've got." he chuckles. "T-REX NACHOS!!! Deep fried nachos, dipped in blue cheese batter, deep fried again, and drenched in queso."
"S-So......the cheese...is INSIDE?" I gasped.
"No dipping whatsoever, bro!"
"That's GENIUS!"
I got completely lost in the moment. I-I haven't seen food like this in WEEKS!
But all it took was just ONE look from Rainbow and I knew she wasn't happy with me.
I figured we'd talk about it, and I probably had to apologize, and we'd move on. She just got off the couch and stomped out of the house.
I was in big trouble.
[DAY 23]
The next day, I figured I'd do a little workout and hoped to score points with Rainbow. Of course, it wouldn't be easy. She eventually came by and told me Soarin had hit on her the other day before she left.
I couldn't believe the stuff she said HE said. In my mind, I knew Soarin would never say that to her.
Then again, I was running 7 MILES everyday. Rainbow could make a guy do ANYTHING.
I was furious. I needed to hear what my 'bro' had to say for himself. Even when he did, I was too mad to even LISTEN to him.
Why would Rainbow lie to me?
[DAY 31]
Dashie and I didn't see each other for a couple of days, but I kept up my routine. I thought, the best way to make her happy with me again was to show her how committed I could be.
"Lost 20 pounds!" I cheered. "Woohoo!"
"I think you should up your supplements." she stated coldly.
And even though she didn't seem to be mad at me anymore, I still never lost enough weight to make her happy.
[DAY 37]
There are times in your life when you listen to your body.
And you DON'T.
And there are also times when you should listen to your friends...
And you DON'T.
This is the time when I didn't do EITHER of those things.
While I was doing my normal jogging, I suddenly felt lightheaded, sicker than ever before. Last thing I remembered was collapsing in the middle of the road.
"Hey, you awake?" Soarin asked as I woke up in a HOSPITAL bed.
"W-What happened?" I groaned.
"Rainbow's what happened. She's bucking INSANE. That stuff you've been drinking, her 'energy drink', doctor said it's HORSE LAXATIVE!"
"S-She had me drinking that.......FIVE times a day."
"Dude, doctor said you were SEVERELY dehydrated. Like 'lost at sea on a life raft' dehydrated."
Words can not describe the feeling.
Knowing that you've been sold a fake bill of goods, AND been drugged...
"S-She was my marefriend." I sighed. "And I PAID her..."
And to make matters worse, Soarin said he found out from other guy's at the gym:
Rainbow was on some sort of psychotic quest to beat her personal best as a weight loss trainer.
"She took on male clients." Soarin continued. "Mainly losers.........sorry. Then she'd hook up with them to motivate them to lose weight. The guy before you got to his goal weight in 50 days."
"Ugh, I knew it was WAY to good to be true."
So she targeted me, ran me into the ground, got with me JUST to motivate me and THEN, she damn near killed me. Oh, and probably no surprise:
She wasn't even a CERTIFIED trainer.
Rainbow Dash pleaded guilty to reckless endangerment and served 500 hours of community service.
Don is currently with his true love:
Nachos.