//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 // Story: Guns, Pineapples, & Ponies: A Story of Nonsense // by BlazeHydra //------------------------------// Ok, here's the deal: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Call of Duty (C)(R)(TM) Black Ops, Sports Center or Geico insurance, so don't sue my flank to the moon! Guns, Pineapples, & Ponies: A Story of Nonsense Chapter 3: Spoiler - Someone dies alot It was quiet all around the snow lacing of the gray-scale office buildings that just so happen to be in a factory zone, next to some... trees? Whatever, anyways it was quiet, too quiet... oh who am I kidding, the state of this match would make Discord's mama cry. Let's take a look at the last couple kills so far, shall we? [MLP]McSqueakers >M14> [MLP]Tehqman24 [MLP]McSqueakers >M14> [MLP]BlazeHydra [DCRD]ChocoCloud21 >.203> [MLP]Tehqman24 [MLP]Xlilflippper >Dragonuv> [AERO]TheSTyler [G&PT]EdwinprGTR >Enfield> [MLP]Tehqman24 [MLP]Tehqman24 >Semtex> Mistakes Were Made [MLP]Tehqman24 >Olympia> [MLP]Tehqman24 Tehqman re-spawned for about the fifth time this minute. "Oh what the buck! How is that even possible!?" Oatmeal turned around, dodging a random spray of bullets not really aimed at anything specific as he did so. "I dunno, last time I checked bullets didn't bounce off walls, are you using rubber rounds again?" "Yeah I don't think- wait AGAIN!? I never used rubber bullets before! You know I have the perfect chance to kill you right now so watch it!" Just to taunt him, Oatmeal lowered his weapon before speaking again, "You and what mustache? But anyway can you do me a favor? You see that C4 over there?" Tehqman turned a full 720 degrees and blinked at the yellow & black explosive with googly eyes taped to it, poor thing must be a Geico commercial reject. "Yeah why? I'm not dumb enough to walk over-" [MLP]McSqueakers >M14> [MLP]Tehqman24 "Thanks!" ----- Meanwhile, far and away from the chain of sonic rainbooms occurring just outside of the map, a possible alliance was forming. BlazeHydra and Edwin were staked out behind some desks and file cabinets, peering down a hallway when Blaze decided talking now totally wouldn't blow their cover. And so he did. "Hey Edwin, how come you put a dual mag on your Enfield if you have sleight of hand? Why not an ACOG sight since you're camping here?" In his head, Edwin secretly took that advice to heart, but the Great and Powerful Edwin was not going to be made a fool of! "Well, you see, one can never reload TOO fast, Edwin just thought this fact out a bit farther than you have." Blaze turned his head, perplexed "But if you reload so fast-" he sneezed. "If you reload so fast, why don't you run outside a little? The Enfield IS a bull pup, you know?" Edwin grew agitated at the alicorn's constant questioning of his superior tactics, "Well if you're so smart, why don't you get an Enfield and- wait a sec, why are we talking to each other?" Edwin glared at Blaze, who immediately came to the same realization. "Oh buck." Blaze ran at full speed, dipping and ducking from clip after clip of Enfield rounds, coming from a rather ticked periwinkle unicorn. It seemed as if he was getting away, until... "Man I miss my Marathon Pro..." [G&PT]EdwinprGTR >Enfield> [MLP]BlazeHydra Even after his success, there was a serious drawback, Edwin was now standing in the center of absolutely no-where, stray of any kind of cover. He stood there, looking for somewhere to hide, but little did he know, he only had about 4 seconds to run, and those seconds were just... about... [MLP]Xlilflippper >Headshot> [G&PT]EdwinprGTR ...spent. Flippper sighed and reloaded "Heh, I guess the Dragonuv's ok." Blaze ran up to Flippper and did the whole 'speed racer' spiel before catching his breath to ask him. "Holy Celestia Flippper, where'd you learn to snipe like THAT!? "Umm... just practice I guess..." said Flippper, all the while not moving from his perch on the very top of one of the trees. While doing a handstand. On his gun. A few more ponies walked up to him, completely putting the match on hold to wonder at Flippper's seemingly impossible sniping stance, before Tehqman spoke up again. "How is any of that remotely possible?" "Oh that's easy, I'm a pegasus remember?" he said while flapping his wings at a methodical and hypnotizing pace, everything on his body moving with a purpose. Makes you wonder just how much practice he was talking about. ----- The match was coming to an end, a few minutes left and somepony was already about 10 kills away from victory. But what was about to happen changed everyone's lives FOREVERRRRR! [MLP]PRiMEeNiGMA has joined the game A stocky red stallion spawned in one of the empty buildings, picked up his Famas, and walked outside. By Celestia's beard, the last few minutes of this match were something else! I don't think I can narrate this intensity, we need John Madden, STAT! "Alright, narrator guy, let's take a look at Prime's kills play by play! So you see him walk out the front door, mostly because there wasn't a back, haha see! But he walked out, sees 2 other guys and BAM double kill! turns around sees more enemies, and we got one, two, three, can he go for the Multi? OOOHH had to reload! That's a missed opportunity right there if I've ever seen one, but it doesn't matter, he walks right back out and stacks 3 more! His score is skyrocketing! He's climbing, 4th... 3rd... second! He's on second with just a couple more seconds left, just 2 more kills, and a whole group in the lab! He's goin' for it, fighting for the kill and BOOM TOUGH ACTIN' TINACTIN ooooohhh barely missed a tie for first place, and he had that guy too but ran out of time, so close! Well, there's the play-by-play, back to you Narrator!" Wow... how long has he been here? I was just joking when I called for him, I'll have to remember that for next time. Well anyway thanks for watching, this has been Sports Center, brought to you by Dr. Scouter! Dr. Scouter, over 9000 natural flavors going right to your liver! Final Scores [MLP]McSqueakers----------Kills: 29----------Deaths: 4----------Score: 1450 [MLP]PRiMEeNiGMA----------Kills: 28----------Deaths: 0----------Score: 1400 [MLP]Xlilflippper----------Kills: 20----------Deaths: 1----------Score: 1000 [G&PT]EdwinprGTR----------Kills: 17----------Deaths: 10----------Score: 850 [AERO]TheSTyler----------Kills: 15----------Deaths: 18----------Score: 750 [MLP]BlazeHydra----------Kills: 10----------Deaths: 7----------Score: 500 [DCRD]ChocoCloud21----------Kills: 6----------Deaths: 19----------Score: 300 [MLP]Tehqman24----------Kills: 6----------Deaths: TOO BUCKIN' MANY----------Score: 300 -Returning to Lobby- ----- (A/N: Wow, really short chapter this time around, but I did want to get this out quicker because of how long it took me to put up chapter 2. Besides, I'll probably extend this later if I can get any ideas, but since this one was so short, I'll include a little present to get in the holiday spirit. A preview of an upcoming chapter, definitely not chapter 4 though.) He made a quick survey of his surroundings. To his left, another F-15 with a familiar insignia of 3 balloons. To his right, a sinking frigate that seems to be rather on fire, to say the least. And above him was... the ocean? Right, he forgot to re-adjust his flight path after dodging that last missile. A bit peeved for no one telling him he was upside down, the robust crimson stallion turned on the intercom. PRiME: Hey, anyone on? Oats: Radio on. Blaze: Affirmative. PRiME: Uhh, do you have any idea how we can all pilot these 2-person planes all by ourselves? Oats: Y'know, that's a good question, one I have no answer for. Blaze: Yeah I have no idea either. Hey whats that? PRiME: Whats what? Blaze: I'm reading multiple signatures, give me a sec... I've got visual. Its... no way! Oats: I'm getting readings too, can you spot their emblems? Blaze: Yeah, I see their emblems alright. I must be seeing things, that's the Southern Cross! PRiME: How are they here? What time zone are we in? Whatever, maintain radio silence unless addressed, and hold your fire until they're confirmed hostile, maybe we can make some powerful allies. All three of them lowered their velocity and didn't say a word for a good minute or so, and so did the other squadron, for a while, it was stalemate. That is, until a missile from unknown origin came flying right towards the other squad. Their deft flying skills were expertly shown in their evasive maneuvers, but the 3 ERAF pilots didn't have much time to gawk in amazement, they knew this had serious repercussions just waiting to happen. Blaze: Buck! We need better radars, where'd that missile come from!? Oats: The heck if I know, but we got bigger problems, look! PRiME: Crap, we're out-numbered... alright, scatter, now! Take 'em out one by one and then we can worry about stray missiles! Speaking of powerful allies, these 3 pilots needed to find some soon, because they were about to do battle with the famed-and-feared 207th Tactical Fighter 'Gryphus' Squadron of the Aurelian Air Force... (A/N: Don't worry, it's not THAT serious, but it might take 2 chapters, even though this was just meant to take a side chapter. But yeah, not exactly random, if at all, but hopefully a good read if you like ponies in planes, or if you want a story like this except with a little more... story, but I digress! Here's to hoping this comes out well!)