//------------------------------// // It’s a funny story… // Story: How I Met My Marefriend // by Lingo //------------------------------// You see it all started when a mare named Twilight Sparkle came to town for the annual Summer Sun Celebration. At the request of the princess. Yes! Ever wise and benevolent, our beloved Princess Celestia saw fit to grace our small town with Twilight’s presence. And I will admit, at first glance she was quite taken with me. Rarity Oh if only that were true. It was I who was enamored with her! I was starstruck! Mystified! Who was this mare of whit and culture who so brazenly marched into our town and took it for her herself! All of us were powerless to stop her from moving in and integrating herself in our happy little community. … In any case, I was taken with her, but not in a romantic sense. At least, not yet. First I was merely curious.  She hailed from Canterlot, where I wished to live one day. She grew up around aristocrats and nobility. In a way, I was jealous of her. As I came to know her, I realized that she was nothing at all like I imagined a citizen of the capital to be like. As I would later learn, neither are the rest of the citizens of said capital.  Especially him, but I'll come back to that. It was during our impromptu slumber party one stormy evening that I was first struck by anything other than friendly feelings for her.  The way she brought out that manual, the excitement lighting up her eyes. Celestia help me, she was adorable. It was a small feeling, then. Content to fade with time, as are most crushes in the making. Everything was going swimmingly until the Gala preparations. She has such beautiful coloration, you know. Such a deep, rich shades of mulberry and lavender. Actually it's more of a... BEAUTIFUL. It was a true pleasure to design her Gala dress. Well, the second one at least.  I should have seen it then, how subtly I was already being affected by her. After all, what perfectly compliments purple, but white? I had to remind myself, time and again, that I was making six unique dresses instead of two complementary ones. I managed, but only just. Celestia help me, seeing her all dressed up and excited for the Gala… Breathtaking. My eyes kept wandering back to look at her, I could not help it. I chalked it up to admiring my own work and being proud of it. Oh what a fool I was.  Meeting the perfect prince to sweep me off my hooves, what a childish idea. A fantasy of a different mare. I changed that night, you see. In the time between getting covered in cake to walking merrily out of Donut Joe's, I underwent a transformation.  I will admit that for a short time, I despised stallions. Wanted nothing to do with them. As I thought about it more and more, I stopped hating them. That buffoon is not all stallions. So I was content to despise him alone, as I still do today.  But even though the blame had shifted off of them, males just ceased to really hold my attention as they once did.  Do you want me to get I'm fine, Twilight. I will persevere.  I found my gaze lingering on other mares, to my concern. I was a straight mare, was I not? Traditional? Perhaps. Perhaps not anymore. It was like a whisper, at first. Of all the delectable mares in Ponyville, five stood out. I thought nothing of it, they were my closest friends. Yet… late some nights and several glasses of wine deep, my imagination ran free. As I relaxed after a particularly taxing order, my thoughts again drifted to my friends.  First, I imagined what activities we could do to grow closer, each of us.  Tea and a spa date with Fluttershy. Some animal petting, perhaps. Maybe some yoga and a little cardio with Rainbow. I thought that I might sway her away from Daring Do and into the realm of detective thrillers. Which are, of course, gateways to dramatic romance. Baking with Pinkie, of course.  And with Applejack.. well that would be a challenge.  And finally Twilight, with whom I was certain I could turn onto romance novels as well.  You wouldn't start me off with detective thrillers? No, dear, I think not. You would have solved them before making it half way through. You are quite bright. In any case.. Stop blushing, dearest.  On second thought, don't. You are adorable when you blush. In any case, once I figured how to better bond with you all, I put my mind to helping you bond with each other. Usually in pairs. You can assume what happened next.  I began letting my musing get a little more… intimate.  How could we get closer? If any of us were to start a relationship, how would it happen? What would we do together? I will shamefully admit that I took great pleasure in playing with these theoretical pairings. You'd never guess who Fluttershy would match exquisitely with, it might surprise you.  But I digress. It was during one of these evenings that I paired Twilight and myself. And then I proceeded to not stop thinking about it for almost a week.  Now don't get me wrong, the romances I could have had with our other friends would have been marvelous. But something about Twilight put her above the rest. My last attempt at resistance was to do the same kind of pairing, but between myself and some of the stallions around town. Needless to say, it did not go well. I was uninspired, disinterested.  Only one pairing had an interesting development. My theoretical romance with Big Mackintosh would have ended with myself and his sister, alone and inebriated in a barn. I'll leave you to assume the rest. That might have just been my fantasy sneaking in, a good red wine will do that to me. Speaking of sneaking, I've got an itch creeping up my neck. Dearest, could you please.. Ahhh, that's the spot. Thank you very much, dear. Back to our friends. Three couples very much stood out to me.  My own pairings with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and of course Twilight.  Now as you know, I enjoy a good challenge. Keeps life interesting, as if I'd need to with the adventures we have.  And what better challenge would there have been than to wrap a rambunctious little rainbow around my hoof? To turn somepony so headstrong and cool into an adorable blushing mess. I might start drooling just thinking about it.  Rarity, really? Oh hush, dearest, you cannot blame me for this. I know that you too harbored some feelings of your own for the mare and you cannot deny it. … As I thought. What perhaps drew me toward our speedy friend the most had to be her wings. I may have fantasized just a little about what it would feel like to be wrapped up snug and warm in those wings on a chilly Autumn evening. And her colors! Ohoho, what I could do with that prismatic mane. I've barely scratched the surface of her potential, if only it wasn't too frou frou for her. Alas! And then there's Applejack. All of the best stallion traits wrapped up in a beautiful farm-girl shaped package. Honest, dependable, hardworking, strong. The novels basically write themselves, Barn and Boutique. Rustic and Romantic.  The chemistry that could have been, it's almost tragic! Ahem ...right. Well needless to say, neither of those worked out. I flirted with Applejack a bit, but it became very obvious that she was straight as an arrow. Just as well, she was probably looking for someone to help on the farm, and that just isn't me. As for Dashie, I am ninety percent certain that her door swings both ways and one-hundred percent certain I could have had her if I tried.  Neither the Daring Wonderbolt nor the Honest Farmer was destined to claim my heart, I found. That honor was left for this last mare. The Enchanting Librarian. As time passed and I started inventing new reasons to spend time with her, my affection for her plateaued. I was mostly content with where we were and had no immediate plans to change that. I still had no idea of her preference, after all.  I tested the waters. A slightly too long touch here, a brush of our coats there. A hug that was terribly too short in my opinion. Yet my efforts yielded no results. She was either oblivious or not interested in me. Or both.  During a moment of courage, I inquired about any suitors she might have. She scoffed, saying there was not any now and never has been. I asked why. She rambled for a minute, as she does sometimes, doing nothing to answer my question. After some more friendly pestering, she admitted that she never gave it much thought before. She was always told that there would be a spark when she saw someone she would be interested in, but recalls it never happening when seeing a stallion.  She admits that the only time she felt something close was when she met us girls. How about that. That mystery is solved, she is oblivious. But I decided to sit on that, bide my time. I would slowly up the ante, easing into a nice little relationship with her.  That was my plan. It didn't last. How could it? This was Twilight Sparkle.  In a single day, she took all of my plans AND my patience and threw them into the fire. In a single day, she single-hoofedly revived my foalhood dream and combined it with my mature goals.  In a single day, she took my favorite things about some of my theoretical pairings and mashed them all together. That day was when she finished some old unicorn's spell and became an alicorn, a goddess among ponies. He's not just 'some old unicorn'! He's a great wizard, famous for... Twilight, who is telling this story? ...you are. Thank you, dear. Now where was I… ah yes! Some old unicorn's spell. She cast it and poof, she was gone. We all panicked, yes even you. For all we knew, she just cast herself right out of existence.  Thankfully, that was not the case. She returned in a burst of light, emerging from it like a butterfly does from a chrysalis. And like the butterfly, she had undergone a transformation.  She was taller, slightly, and leaner, as if any bit of unflattering weight had melted right off in the time she was missing from our sight. I wasn't even jealous, not with eye candy like that to distract me. Oh, and she had wings. They were impossible to miss.  Soon after, the princess appeared and explained to us what had occurred. She had ascended into an alicorn, now embodying the traits of all three pony races.  I didn't think much at the time, too swept up in the events. But in the hours that followed, I found myself troubled.  Twilight Sparkle, who I had been subtly flirting with for a few months by that point, had become everything I could dream about. The strength of an earth pony, the wings of a pegasus, and the magical power of a unicorn archmage or more.  She was the best of everypony. And she was a princess now. The little filly inside my screamed in joy. Twilight Sparkle was my dream come true. That wasn't the issue that troubled me. What troubled me is how fast I was falling for her all over again, and that I had no idea how to go forth from here. My plans were for romancing a unicorn Twilight, not an alicorn princess. So I brushed aside my usual wine choices for a few shots of whiskey, sitting alone in my workshop with my thoughts.  I made a new plan, inspiration fueled by alcohol and a hint of desperation. I had to move fast, but slowly. I couldn't let her or anypony else think that I was pursuing her just because she became a princess. Just as well, I had to nab her before someone else came along with that same goal in mind. So over the next few months, I resumed getting slowly closer to her. My lucky break came after the fiasco with her new castle.  She had just been on a rather disastrous date with some overgrown foal from Trottingham.  I cannot fathom why she agreed to it in the first place, having never shown an interest in dating before. Perhaps the pressure of being a princess swayed her mind. She might have been too flustered by the proposal to refuse.  I do not very much care. She is mine now. I was consoling her over tea the following morning, and had the brilliant idea of showing her how a real date was supposed to go. It really was my lucky day, because she agreed to go along with it.  Check mate, Miss Sparkle. I dashed home, giggling like a school filly, and tore open my "In Case of Date with Twilight" box. I was very proud of it, having made it a few weeks prior. You didn't really have that… did you? Oh yes I most certainly did. And it worked like a charm. A day in Canterlot. Dinner, some TLC at the spa, a trip to the bookstore, and watching the sunset from the Friendship Express back to Ponyville.  She enjoyed herself as much as I enjoyed seeing her enjoy herself. The date ended with Twilight staying the night at the boutique with me, because what friend would end a date with her sleeping in the big empty crystal room back at her castle. I had a few bottles of genuine Apple Family cider stashed in the date box. We talked and laughed until the bottles were empty and for some time after. When it came time to turn in for the night, I steeled my nerves. What kind of date ends without a goodnight kiss?  She giggled, thinking I was joking. So I lifted her chin, looked into those stunning eyes, and proved to her just how serious I was. I stole the first kiss. After coming to her senses, she stole the second. Scandalized, I asked her what she thought she was doing. You cannot kiss more than once on the first date!  To which she replied, "I'm a princess. Who is going to stop me?" And then she stole another  just for good measure. I think it was the cider, it made her brave and impulsive, slowing her more rational thoughts before they could interject. If I wasn't smitten before, then I certainly was after that.  She has not stolen a kiss from me since that moment, she cannot steal what is given freely~ Goodness, just the thought of that evening has my head all warm and fluffy. Or that might be the blood rushing to it.  I should probably wrap this up before I pass out. That night we fell asleep on the couch, wrapped up in each other and a thick blanket.  I woke first the following morning. My head was pounding, my mouth was dry, and I had a terrible need to use the little mare's room. But I was unable to get up, held so firmly in Twilight's embrace. Even if I could escape from her forelegs, there was no way in Tartarus that I was going to get past her wings. I was doomed to another hour of cuddly heaven before my beloved stirred. How tragic! Do not roll your eyes at me, miss princess of sleeping in until noon. Some of us like to have breakfast in the morning without having to call it brunch.  You're getting off topic again. It's perfectly on topic! Let's even ask Applejack. "Applejack," I turned my attention to her, "when do you think is the ideal time to get up in the morning?" "Uh.." suddenly the center of attention, she fidgets with her hat. "..right before daybreak, usually. So I can get some work done around the farm before breakfast." "Before sunrise? Splendid. See dearest? The successful, hardworking ponies get up early." My beautiful evening star decides not to comment further. I shall take that as a victory until she undoubtedly brings it up at a later date. "Ahem. If y'all are done?" Drat, the story. Well there's thankfully not much more to tell, and my head is feeling verrrrry heavy. "That is pretty much the end of it. Here we are, happily together." I smile, though I suspect it looks like a frown to everypony else in the room. Twilight manages a little grin, I think. Frankly, it looks more like a frown to me but... “Now Rarity, it was mighty nice story and all, but I heard it when you two announced you were dating a few months ago. Well… most of it." Applejack rubbed her face with a hoof. "You still haven’t answered my question.” “Right! Your question..” I felt my cheeks get warm, “Um.. what was it again?” She leveled a flat look at me, honed from years of having to deal with a trio of excitable young fillies on a regular occasion. I almost felt like a foal telling a tall tale about why the cookie jar was empty. “Why are y’all in my barn?” I look around at the space we were in and then down at myself. Well, up at myself, since I am currently hanging rather haphazardly from one of the rafters, suspended upside down by a crudely tied length of rope. My dearest Twilight stands by my side, pointedly avoiding both the gaze of our annoyed friend and myself. One of Applejack’s spare hats sits perilously on her disheveled mane. If Granny Smith came in now, she’d likely confuse my starlight’s cheeks for fresh produce with how red they are shining. If I was not currently indisposed, I would lean over and kiss her silly, as is my right! Finally my eyes finish their circuit, landing back on my irate friend standing beside the open barn door. The orange glow of evening filters in behind her. A smile creeps back onto my face. “Oh that question! Well it’s a funny story, darling. You see it all started when…” “Git out of my barn.”