My Rough Notes for the Remaining Chapters
Have some action go down in whatever town Sunset is picking up Rarity’s shipment from. Maybe somehow include Daring Do? (heh) Make good on that 'Cassandra Truth' from the earlier chapter. In this case, Daring is actually the one needing the friendship lesson. Maybe Sunset teaches her something about empathy. It would fit with Daring’s characterization in that one episode. Make this a “friendship emergency” level of problem for Sunset to solve, with a bit of help from Adagio. Want something of the caliber of the friendship cases from the episodes.
Make it a problem that requires Sunset to show some strong empathy, since even Meghan said at a con panel somewhere that she’d love for that to be Sunset’s element, were she to have one. (2019 addition: I guess this actually came true, with the Everfree gemstones.)
At the close of the chapter, show a small 'bonus' scene where Twilight comes into the map room and notices that Sunset’s cutiemark is no longer floating over the town. She smiles softly to herself and whispers something like, “Well done.”
—
At the peak of the story when they finally reach the ocean, have a major scene when Adagio steps into the water and Twilight’s spell breaks, reverting her to the hippocampus form. When this happens, after the initial, “Oh shit... how are we going to get home now?” moment, lead to Sunset just saying "Well… it is what it is. Let's take advantage of it and have some fun?”
Adagio nods excitedly and slips fully into the water. The next paragraph or two is her exhilaration as she spends several minutes diving, spinning, jumping, laughing with a sense of freedom she never thought she’d ever feel again. When cresting out of the water, she catches glimpses of sunset laying down on the shore with her head on her forelegs and a soft smile and a few tears on her cheek. (Need to make it clear to the reader that these are happy tears at seeing her lover experiencing this much joy.)
After Adagio’s had her moment, she comes to shore and rests her head next to sunset. (Need to state both her joy of this singular moment, but also using clever prose to hint at some prospect of her staying here for good, now that she’s finally been “restored”. In her mind, she’s not considering that, but may want to bait the reader a bit into questioning whether she might actually consider it.)
“Sunset… thank you for this. I never dreamed I’d experience this freedom again… to return to what I was.” Lowers her head onto the beach, closes her eyes, lets out a long breath. “But even with all of this…” Her tone and expression sadden. “There’s nothing I want more right now than to hug you. Pull you into my arms. Run my fingers through your hair and give you a long, soft kiss. And then just hold you for hours. But in this… condition...” she gives a bit of a bittersweet laugh.
Sunset nuzzles Adagio’s nose and responds with something tender. Could lead into an, “I know what you mean,” and then Sunset describes her thrill at being reunited with her magic.
If the two of them really wanted to, there’d be nothing truly stopping them from remaining here indefinitely… but at what cost, etc? Each of them might have an opportunity now to live out an individual dream, but there’s no way those dreams could happen side by side with the barriers this world and their respective forms would drive between them. And even if they could find some way to coexist with some permanent polymorph spell or something, the counterparts to their friends on this side of the mirror are still NOT their real friends from back home - the ones who have been through every step of the journey that led them to this point.
—
After a bit more conversation on that topic, the mood lightens again. Sunset says, “You know, we could spend some time together underwater, if you want,” with a leading grin. Adagio questions how that might work.
Sunset is able to create a water-displacement spell around herself so she can hang on to Adagio and ride with her under water. Or perhaps Adagio's weak/limited magic has a means of keeping Sunset close to her as they move through the water. Add a few more adventure-y scenes within a chapter here.
One of the abilities that Adagio has regained with her true form is the telepathic communication her species used to employ to converse with one another. It takes a moment for Sunset to ‘get it’, but they eventually are able to communicate this way.
Show Sunset taking brief breaks to "recycle" the air inside her displacement bubble with some visual magical effect - transferring the CO2 with fresh oxygen from the water.
At one point Adagio has a feeling… she knows that they’re getting close to where the old ruins of her home might be. In her excitement she unintentionally tunes out Sunset’s growing concerns (and eventual panic) at the water pressure growing heavier and heavier as they dive deeper. The pressure is growing too strong for her spell to push back. Sunset’s spell fails and Adagio’s telepathic link is suddenly wracked by Sunset’s burst of fear and the crushing pressure of the water all around her. This snaps her immediately out of her focus on finding her home and into full-on panic mode about Sunset’s condition.
Adagio has to act quickly to get her back to the surface. Perhaps the stress can result in a bit of a magical 'adrenaline rush' for Adagio. She bursts up through the water and lays Sunset down on the beach. Sunset is unconscious and not breathing.
After an agonizing minute of panic and grief for Adagio — thinking she’s just caused her love's death (as it seems hopeless to get her back from this non-responsive state) have Discord finally reveal himself. Adagio, still unaware of his change of heart, threatens him while assuming a protective stance between him and Sunset, even knowing that she's powerless to actually do anything to him in her current state.
Discord rolls his eyes. "Oh, please. Time is of the essence. You've made it irrefutably clear that you wish for her to live. So 'shoo-be-doo' yourself over there and let me work." Snaps his fingers and Adagio teleports above the water at the shoreline and drops in. He starts playing a snake-charmer's flute which pulls all the water out through Sunset's mouth and into a drinking glass or something. The glass then tilts and pours the water onto the ground before winking out of sight. He snaps a small spark from his claw into Sunset’s chest. She coughs and comes back to consciousness.
He'd been keeping an eye on their journey out of curiosity over a former fellow-creature-of-chaos, all the while comparing her change of heart to his own. Perhaps reveal that he might have happened to playfully "spice up" their journey to the ocean on more than one occasion and thus may-or-may-not have been responsible for a few of their trouble spots.
At one point in the conversation, he’ll make a reference to the inn at Rockridge, and in the voice he was using for the gryphon, he’ll sing a few lines of Adagio’s song.
“That was… you… I knew something was off. But the moment was just so wonderful. It had been so long since I’d felt that joy.” Then more quietly, she adds, “And it would never have crossed my mind that you… huh, or even I… would have ever done such a thing for someone else.”
She recalls the feeling of joy from in that moment and lowers her eyes. “Thank you.”
Discord starts explaining to Adagio that the way he came to understand friendship wasn't too much different from hers. He pulls out a wallet and releases its folding photo strip. It unrolls to an impossible length onto the sand with flashes of pink and yellow across all the photos. And at the last flip, Fluttershy herself pops out, bewildered. Maybe she’s holding a flower watering can or something and drops it out of her mouth when she yells, "Discord!"
"Oopsie!" He snaps his fingers and she winks back to wherever she came from, but the watering can is left behind. He picks up the can, kicks it around off his feet and elbows like a hacky-sack a few times before blinking it back as well.
And then Sunset giggles with "Was that..." Adagio finishes with her and they both say, "Fluttershy?" And they both laugh warmly.
Conversation continues about Discord and Fluttershy.
—
After the conversation winds down, a concern arises about how they’re going to get back to the castle, with Adagio now stuck in her land-immobile form.
Discord clears his throat. “Are we forgetting present company?” Dramatically placing a paw over his heart, he moans, “You wound me!” They laugh. He holds up his claw in a pre-snap gesture and raises an eyebrow. When the both nod, he gives the snap. Show Adagio’s point of view of what the teleport looks/feels like. They wind up right in the portal chamber of Twi’s castle.
Could give this some funny timing with having them pop in on some embarrassing moment for Twi.
Have a chapter of their closing conversations and experiences with Twilight and Celestia. Show the return home. Reunited with Aria, Sonata, and the others.
Closing feel-goods that show some of the conclusions from the notes below.
As an aside, here are some original ‘goals’ notes that I had for the story before setting into writing it:
What purpose does the story serve for Adagio aside from making her feel better about homesickness?
Serves to bring some closure to her longing for her old home and leads her to realize that "home" can mean a lot of things. The most important of these things is that home is where her friends are, and most importantly now, wherever she and Sunset are, together. And for a number of reasons, the best place to call home will continue to be the human side. This trip was necessary for her though - to work through these issues, to GET that opportunity to see her old home again, and to grow her appreciation for the way things are on the human side.
What purpose does the story serve for Sunset?
She really wants to be a knight for Adagio here - that's the main (initial) motivation. Along the way, I'd like to bring her more closure with Celestia, whether on or off-camera since this is Adagio's POV. By the end of the story, I want to have her reach the conclusions as Adagio about which world they belong to now.
What will Adagio's mindset be at the end? Will she still miss Eq? Or conclude that she'd rather live out human side with Sunset?
One of the big points I'm aiming for is that they both conclude that they'd be happier on the human side. Sunset's real friends are there. The equine counterparts, while possessing many of their same traits, are still not them. They’re distinct individuals. The human 5 have been the ones by her side for her whole journey. In Adagio's case, there are too many regrets on the Eq side. Not to mention, the species issue is a big one. For her and Sunset to really be 'together', their lives would be much more fulfilled on the human side. (Insert a joke about the many benefits of fingers? Lawl ;)
Do any radical changes occur?
Still thinking. A few thoughts though: I'd like to have a portion of Adagio's magic restored via contact with the ocean. It won't carry over to human side any more than Sunset's has, but just knowing that she was able to feel it again and have it revived will be a lasting, good memory. It will cement the fact that their singing voices actually were sourced from within themselves, but were then corrupted by the gems, rather than being purely a product of those gems