“...do that every morning and you’ll start to see…”
-Yoko
Discord tapped on his woodshop project that had earned him an only passing grade. A simple little checkered cutting board, all you had to do was cut out the squares and glue them together. He could still hear the shop instructor’s criticism, all you had to do was follow directions. Instead of being straight and perfectly square, his checker pattern twisted around. Gives me a headache just looking at it! Discord huffed as he tried to listen to the history lesson being taught.
“And, it was during this period, 1012 of the Equestrian era, that the infamous umbrum wars began. While the war endured for nearly two decades, it almost lasted longer if not for the bravery of the pony known as Sombra. Originally created by the umbrum, he would side with the Crystal Empire as a soldier and later tactical advisor under Princess Amore. It was his communication with a student of the royal sisters, Radiant Hope, that led to an alliance between the Crystal Empire and Equestria.” The teacher stopped speaking when she was interrupted by a flailing hoof.
“Oh, oh!” The light purple filly attached to the flailing hoof was practically hopping out of her chair.
The teacher sighed as she addressed the filly. “Yes? Twilight Sparkle, is it?”
Twilight stood on the edge of her seat as she adjusted the glasses that sat on her muzzle. “Miss Pen, that’s Princess Hope, isn’t it? Co-ruler of the Crystal Province?”
Miss Pen smiled in approval at the filly’s display of knowledge. “That’s correct Miss Sparkle, though she wouldn’t become a Princess until after the sixth battle of Crystal Bluff. Anyways, it was the alliance between the Crystal Empire and Equestria that ultimately…”
Discord furrowed his brow at the unicorn filly. She was young, younger than freshcolt age. If Discord didn’t know any better, he’d swear that she should barely be entering intermediate school. Looking at her desk, he could see piles of books on her desk and in her saddle bag. He could clearly make one of the book spines that read College Level. It was odd for sure. From the back of the room, Discord swore he heard another student mutter under their breath, “Egghead.” He could see the offender in the corner of his eye, a rainbow maned pegasus. Looking back to Twilight, discord could see a slight frown take her face.
Miss Pen’s lecture continued. “If not for the sacrifice of Sombra, the fifth battle of Crystal Bluff might have been lost, and the umbrum may very well have won the war.”
Discord remembered the names slung at him from his early years. He decided he wasn’t having it. Hiding his hands behind his desk, Discord snapped two of his eagle claws together.
A small flash, a light swish, and a crack, was followed by, “Hey! Whoever did that, not cool!”
The class burst into laughter as the pegasus attempted to clean the egg from her head. The only laugh that mattered to Discord though, was Twilight’s. Seeing that filly laugh fixed a small whole in him, where a memory once resided of a desire for someone to stand up for him. Her laugh was short lived as she went back to bury her face in her mountain of history books, but Discord thought it was worth it. As everything settled back down, and the pegasus left the room to clean her mane out, Discord’s full attention was fixed on the lecture.
“When Radiant hope had saved Princess Amore, she was transformed into an Alicorn. Based on Miss Sparkle’s comment from earlier, you can imagine where that eventually lead her.”
*****
Discord didn’t expect the tap on his shoulder on his way to his final class. “Hmm?” Looking down he saw Twilight with her engorged saddle bag. “Oh, hey.”
“I know it was you.” She flatly stated as she adjusted her glasses.
Discord looked at the passing students, now worried by what Twilight might say. “Oh, I uh-”
Twilight cut him off. “That was clever if I do say so myself. I am curious, how exactly does draconequus magic work? It’s unlike any magic from our known world! I read once that your kind originated on a world between dimensions, but that was just a theoretical physics article from the 1963 special edition of Equestrian Science Illustrated. I-”
“Whoa woah, whoa.” Discord held up his arms as if defending himself from the onslaught of what sounded like a run-on sentence. “I just didn’t like that she called you that name. That’s why I did it, kid.”
“I know.” Twilight nodded.
Discord groaned inside. This filly knows everything, he thought, or at least she thinks she does. “Is there something you wanted?” In the back of his mind, he was screaming, do it! I dare you! Say you know!
“I guess I wanna say, thank you.” Twilight straightened her glasses again and smiled. “And, if you every need help with history,” she gestured with her hoof between different points in the air, “calculus, trigonometry, physics, magical sciences…”
After enduring a list longer than Discord cared to listen too, he put his arms up again. “Alright, I’ll be sure to come to you if I need any help with my classes.”
Twilight’s smile grew as she did a little dance. “Brilliant!” She took off down the hall, most likely to her next class.
Discord felt good. Even though Twilight was a bit odd, he was happy to see another welcoming face in the crowd. “Moving up in the world,” he made his way to his class, “one less person in the world that thinks I’m a freak.” He wondered what Fluttershy would think of him helping Twilight.
*****
Pathfinder was in the classroom early today. “Afternoon, Sir Discord. Your step seems springy today. Finish your poem yet?”
Discord nervously smiled. The poem was due tomorrow, and he hadn’t even scratched out one line. “It’s in its post production stages.” Discord ran for his seat and was glad to see Fluttershy sitting in her spot. “Hey! How’s it going?”
“Oh, hey Discord.” Fluttershy wiped her eyes.
Discord slowed down as he saw her face. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to hear about it.” She pulled out her textbook as she tried to wipe her eyes away.
Discord was almost ready to let it go. But, something in the back of his mind clawed at his thoughts. A drop of guilt, purely for her state, manifested. “You can talk to me, if you want to.”
Fluttershy’s voice went a little quieter. “Are you sure?”
Discord nodded with the most sincere smile he could muster. He remembered a line from last night’s reading, “Life’s too short to be saying no.”
“Okay.” A little smile leaked out as she turned to face Discord. “I’m sad, in all honesty. My friend had something terrible happen to her.”
Discord felt a cord of anger tighten inside. He remembered Twilight and the name she’d been called. “What happened?”
Fluttershy began wiping her eyes again. “It’s bad enough that she struggles with her grades, and has a hard time learning. I don’t know why anyone would do such a thing like this.”
Discord entertained the idea of exacting a sort of revenge again. No one noticed before, why would anyone notice if he should exact vengeance twice.
Fluttershy sniffled as she took deep breaths. “Someone dropped an egg over her head. I had to help her finish cleaning all the yolk out of her mane in the bathroom.”
Discord was sure that he had stopped breathing. His throat seized up as he managed to get out. “That’s uh- horrible. So horrible.” He wanted to bury his face and hide. He cried to all that was good in the universe, that’s not fair. I couldn’t have known! “I can’t believe anyone would do that. I hope he gets caught.”
Fluttershy raised a brow. “He?”
“Or she!” Discord stammered, “Whoever it was, I really hope the one responsible gets caught.” He did get caught, sort of. Twilight knew it was him. But, it wasn’t enough. Discord wished he had been caught by the teacher. At the same time though, he knew that would end any sort of communication between him and Fluttershy. “They deserve detention. Suspension.”
“Discord!” Fluttershy interjected. It took Discord by surprise. Fluttershy could really be loud when she wanted to. “Don’t say things like that. Whoever it was, they don’t deserve that.”
“But,” Discord was confused by what she said, “They hurt your friend.”
Fluttershy sighed. “Rainbow Dash doesn’t let others know that they get to her. Even if they do, punishing them wouldn’t help her. It would just upset her that another student suffered at her expense.” Fluttershy took another deep breath. “I’m sorry for bugging you with this. You probably have to finish your poem.”
Discord wanted to say, life is too short to be worried about poems. “What would help your friend, Rainbow Dash?”
Fluttershy flashed a tiny tight lipped smile, grateful for the interest. “That’s the thing, I don’t know. She was really upset. She kept talking about giving up on school.”
Discord felt his whole body start to hurt as Fluttershy explained that. What have I done?
Pathfinder fluttered up to chalk board and held up a book. “Alright class. Remember, your poems are due tomorrow, and they are an oral presentation. Anyways, who’s ready to read the tragedy of Dillweed the Unfortunate and how his heart was stabbed by his lover? Oh, I guess I kinda spoiled the ending there, didn’t I.”
Discord groaned as he dropped his head onto his desk.
*****
“What have I done, Spike?” Discord blankly stared towards the front of the bus.
Spike laughed in disbelief. “Wow, I can’t wait till this becomes a movie.”
“This isn’t funny Spike.” Discord began to pound his head into the seat in front of him until he was asked to stop by the passengers of that seat. “If she finds out, she’ll never speak to me again. I need to fix this!”
“Relax, Discord.” Spike gestured out the window to a couple of ponies painting a house. “If she drops out of High School, she can still pick up a trade. I hear that’s actually really profitable these days. It’s not like you ruined her life”
“No, Spike.” Discord groaned as he stared at the blank page that was supposed to have his poem. “I have to fix this.”
Spike wagged his eyebrows. “You really like this filly, don’t you?”
“Spike, if it were me instead of Rainbow Dash.” Discord looked to Spike. “What would you think?”
Spike hummed as he scratched the back of his neck. “So, this isn’t exactly about Fluttershy.” The dragon shrugged his shoulders as he gave up any other reasoning that transpired in his head. “I’d want things with you to be right. I’d hate to see you walk away from being the best you could be. So, what are you gonna do?”
“I don’t know.” Discord shook his head as he angrily jabbed the blank page in front of him with a pencil.
Spike fingered through the advertisements at the back of one of his comic books. “Hm. Do you wanna help me buy a junior EC radio kit?”
Discord looked at the advertisement Spike was talking about. The price was doable, if they mowed enough lawns. “They got any good deals on auto carriages?”
Spike perused the advertisements. “Ah ha! For thirty bits, you can get a one sixteenth scale model of Flash Magnus’s hover carriage.”
Discord laughed. “That’s even pricey for a piece of plastic.”
“Why do you need an autocar?” Spike asked.
Discord went silent.
Spike straightened his comic. “Something to do with Butter Fly?”
“Fluttershy.” Discord nodded as he bagged the cursed blank page. “Yeah, something to do with that.”
Spike shook his head. “You need to get out more. Wanna come to my house if there’s no screaming today?”
Discord nodded as he looked out the window. “Yeah, I’ll just have to-.” He watched a pigeon flying along side the bus. Discord could have sworn its eyes were glowing green.
“Just have to what?” Spike tapped Discord on the shoulder. “Hey! Equestria to Discord!”
Discord looked at Spike then back out the window. The pigeon was gone. “I’ll have to call my mom, so she knows.”
Spike tried to follow Discord’s eyes out the window. “What are you looking at?”
Discord searched desperately for the pigeon. It was nowhere in sight. There wasn’t a single bird in the trees, in the sky, or anywhere around the bus. The fact that there were no other birds at all made it a bit eerie. “It was just some weird bird.”
Spike didn’t question that answer as he turned his attention back to the advertisements.
Discord felt strange. He could feel something was off. It felt to him like he was being watched. A tingling sensation went up his back. The freakiest sensation came when the magic training collar buzzed. That was the oddest thing to Discord, because he knew he wasn’t using any magic at all. At least, not on purpose. Even then, it always hurt when the magic came from him.
*****
“Hello?!” Spike shouted through the entryway to his house. He cleared his throat. “I’ll get you my pretty!” He looked to see if anyone came out. “No one’s home yet.”
“Is it just you and your, uh, parents?” Discord felt a little uncomfortable in the house. Everything was grey, or some shade of it, and square, or some form of square. There was even a bowl of glass grapes that were gloss black, and square. It smelled like a museum.
“I live with my dad, and his girlfriend.” Spike pointed to a picture in a black frame on the wall.
Discord could see a dragon with his arm around the shoulder of a griffon. “So they’re not married?” Discord had briefly met Spike’s father when he came to pick Spike up. He was a greenish dragon with charcoal spines. Had blue eyes, and he looked nothing at all like Spike. His colors were more muted and none of his facial features were similar to Spike’s. Discord figured Spike took more after his mother. Discord couldn’t find any pictures of Spike’s real mother.
“I’m not surprised.” Spike sighed. “He’s been talking about asking her.”
Discord looked at the griffon in the photo. In the picture frame, she looked nice enough. He couldn’t figure out how that terrible voice from before could belong to the smiling griffon in the photo. “Do you not like her?”
Spike shook his head. “The wicked witch of the windigos.”
Discord suddenly understood Spike’s entrance.
“I mean,” Spike straightened a frame that held a picture of just him and his dad, “I just want him to be happy. He’s not very good on his own. He needs help. I’m not gonna lie, he’s been better with her around.”
Discord studied the pictures. He thought Spike’s dad looked happier in the one with just him and Spike. “There’s a but in there. Am I right?”
Spike rubbed a claw along a table and demonstrated the sterility of the environment. “Between the gallon of claw sanitizer she keeps in her purse and the elitist superiority complex, I’m certain she’s trying to kill me off.”
“I think you’re exaggerating.” Discord saw Spike freeze up as a door opened. He knew, from the look on Spike’s face and the blunt perfume smell, his dad’s girlfriend was home. The sensation from earlier returned as Discord could make out the dagger eyes aimed right at him.
For a moment, all Discord saw was red. Her eyes were blood red, and her feathers looked like fire. He imagined one of the flame demons from the Flash Magnus comic was standing before him. As Discord’s eyes focused, he could see it was her orangish coloration that made her appear that way. She was thin, for a griffon, and she had a serious case of resting jerkface.
“Who are you?”
Discord liked her yelling voice better, she was less scary when she was louder. “I’m Discord, Spike’s friend.” That was all he could bring himself to say.
The firey griffon flipped one end of a black scarf over her shoulder. “I wasn’t aware he had friends. Or, is it just you?”
Discord could hear Spike’s mocking voice from earlier coming back to finish the line in his head, and your little draconequus too!
“Donna?” Spike’s father entered through the same door Donna had left open. His arms were filled with brown paper grocery bags. “Oh, hey Discord.”
Discord waved as politely as he could while still under the gaze of Donna. “Hello Mister Andesite.”
“Please,” Spike’s dad struggled with the grocery bags, “just call me Andee.”
“Need a hand dad?” Spike rushed in to share the load of the grocery weights.
Discord watched as Donna paid more attention to the paint on her claws than Andee. He watched her step up to the picture of Andee and Spike. She tipped it just slightly, just enough to notice.
*****
Discord was happy when Donna took off, hours ago, to check finances. Spike had told him that was code for either shopping or preparing to shop. “She reminds me of every lady I’ve ever seen that asks for a manager.” Spike’s room was nicer that the rest of the house, mainly because it didn’t smell like disinfectant. And, the bean bags were pretty nice.
Spike snickered. “Do you think she would melt if we poured water on her?”
Discord smiled.
Spike tried not to smile. “I know what you’re thinking and it’s a bad idea. My dad nearly tore me a new one when I spat in her food.”
Discord rubbed his eagle hand and lion paw together as he pointed to a toy robot. “I’m just saying, it would be a shame if any sprinklers went off.” Discord snapped his fingers and the robot came to life. “And, we couldn’t possibly be responsible if we’re clearly on this end of the house doing homework and minding our own business.”
“Are you forgetting how your egghead trick ended up?” Spike crossed his arms.
Discord snapped his fingers, setting up the robot with a sombrero and a set of maracas. “So, you're interested in this accident?”
Spike thought about it. “You’re a bad influence.”
“What are friends for? I’ll take the blame if they figure it out.” Discord hopped up off of the bean bag he was sitting on. He peered out the window.
“Don’t you have a poem to write?” Spike joined Discord at the window.
Discord laughed as he saw a taxi carriage drop off the fire haired griffon with bags in tow. “It is a ballad yet to be written about Sir Discord, Spike the Wise, and their battle with the great and terrible manager squawker.”
Spike nodded his head. “Let it be written.”
Discord snapped his fingers and they watched as the four corners of the lawn suddenly came to life with water showering from the oscillating sprinkler heads.
Spike and Discord dropped back to the floor and scrambled for their school work the moment the high pitched screeching started. They both worked to contain their laughter lest they be discovered.
“Oh Spike the Wise.” Discord pretended to look over his history notes.
Spike looked up from his finished algebra homework. “Yes, Sir Discord?”
Discord twirled his pencil with his eagle claws. “Me thinks this be a hagraven rather than a witch.”
The both of them seized up when the door burst open to reveal a soaking wet griffon with running mascara hissing through her beak. “You two! I know you did it!”
“What’s going on?” Andee came in behind Donna. “Why are you soaking wet?”
“Y- th- these children! They did this to me!” Donna pointed directly to Spike. “He did this!”
Andee’s eyes went back and forth between Spike and Donna. “Donna.” Discord could already see it, he didn’t believe her. “They’ve been in this room the whole time, doing homework. It’s probably just a plumbing problem. I’ll call a plumber when I get the chance. Now, why don’t you clean up? I’ll see if I can get the sprinklers turned off.”
Donna left left the room with heavy breaths and a look many have held whenever they meant to say, next time.
Once she disappeared down the hallway, Andee rubbed his temples and grabbed at his ear frills. “Spike, did you do it?”
Spike shook his head. “No.” That was the absolute truth. He didn’t set off the sprinklers.
The one who had set off the sprinklers, suddenly felt the weight of consequence. Well, Discord figured there was a fifty fifty chance of Spike’s dad actually figuring out what happened. In that moment it was clear that the blame could fall to Spike, but because there was no evidence nor ability of setting them off from that room, it was possible he’d figure it out.
“Discord.” Andee faced him. “Be honest. Did Spike set off the sprinklers?”
Discord shook his head. “No sir.” Again, it was not a lie. “He was working on math homework.”
Spike’s father observed the room one last time before sighing. “Okay.” He slowly left, closing the door behind him.
Spike groaned. “Why do I feel so terrible?”
“Believe me,” Discord stared at his black page where his poem was supposed to go, “the feeling is mutual.” Discord felt sick inside. It was just as bad as when he found out he had egged Fluttershy’s friend.
“It’s not fair.” Spike threw his math book down. “She’s the most vile person on the face of this planet. Why’d he have to like her?”
Discord remembered thinking something similar about the one known as Rainbow Dash. But, this Rainbow had reasons for why she was acting the way she did. Discord thought about it. He wanted to hurt Donna before she could hurt Spike anymore than she obviously did. Discord figured that maybe Rainbow Dash was mean and momentarily cruel because she didn’t want to get hurt. Why did Donna act the way she did? What was her reason? What was her excuse?
Discord stood up. “I need to use the restroom.”
“First door on the right.” Spike fell back in his bean bag chair and found a comic to look at.
Discord nodded. “Yeah.” He had a plan forming. Seeing that Spike wasn’t going to follow him out of the room, he decided to enact that plan. Making his way to the living room, he was glad to see Spike’s dad, though he regretted that it meant continuing with his plan.
Andee was straightening up what little there was to be straightened up.
“Mister Andee?” Discord breathed deep. He felt like he was going to suffocate. “Spike didn’t do it. It was me. I did it because she wasn’t treating Spike very nice at all. I’m sorry, I just, I can’t stand it. I can’t stand seeing my friend being talked to like he was a waste of space. I just wanted to make him laugh. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” Fluttershy flashed through his mind, “I just wanted to do something about it. I’m not sorry for what I did, but I am sorry because it upset you. Please don’t punish Spike for what I did.”
Andee waved a hand for Discord to stop. “Well first of all, thank you for your honesty. But,” he rubbed his face, “look, Discord, I love Spike. And, I love Donna. I know it’s hard for him now. But, the two of them will learn to like each other.”
Discord didn’t believe that. “He thinks she wants to get rid of him.”
Andee furrowed his brows. “He told you that?”
Discord nodded. “Well, he phrased it a bit more strongly than that.”
Andee scratched the back of his neck, a lot like Spike did at times. “Discord, thanks for telling me this. And, thanks for looking out for my son.”
For the first time since he got off the bus, Discord felt better. “Here.” He pulled out the comic with the advertisement for the EC radio. “Spike was interested in this. I could help pay for it.”
Andee looked at the ad and smiled. “Don’t worry about it.”
A knock came from the door. Discord recognized the rhythmic pattern and the sound of the voice when the door was opened by Andee.
Redheart smiled awkwardly as she cleared her throat. “I’m sorry. Is this Spike’s home?”
“Yes,” Andee sort of stared off into space, avoiding glances at Redheart, “I’m uh, his father.”
“Oh, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Redheart, Discord’s mother. Is he here by any chance?” Redheart looked about the front of the house as if expecting to see Discord floating around.
Andee nodded. “Yeah, he’s inside, but uh.” The dragon trailed off as he kept looking up and down at Redheart.
Redheart looked at the wet walkway beneath her. “Is everything alright?”
“Uh, yeah.” Andee rubbed the back of his neck. “Just had some sprinkler issues, earlier. Might have to call a plumber.”
Discord felt a sweeping wave of relief when he caught sight of a wink from Andee.
“Oh, I could have my brother look at it. He does a lot of construction work. I’m sure he could figure it out for you.” Redheart noticed Discord in the living room. “Oh, hey. There you are. I need you to come home early. I promised a friend of a coworker that we’d dogsit for them while they attended a family reunion. And, I need you to watch her for tonight while I go to work.”
*****
Discord stared into the bright eyed white and brown dog. It was really a puppy. The tag it wore was simple, not store bought. It looked like it had been stamped out of a brass tag that was meant for something else. “Winona?” Discord rolled a ball around in front of the puppy. “If only you could talk, maybe you could save me from my poetry assignment.
In all honesty, Discord wasn’t half so worried about the poem as he was about what he was going to do to make things right with Rainbow Dash. He felt a little more terrible about that because he realised he wasn’t trying to make things right because he cared about Rainbow Dash. He was only doing it for Fluttershy. Discord bickered with his internal voices. Why did he care so much about this pony he barely knew. It wasn’t like he stood a chance with her.
These thoughts plagued Discord as he dozed off. Winona was calming down, and her yawn made Discord yawn. He was getting drowsy, sleepy.
All of a sudden, a booming voice burst into Discord’s ears. He suddenly found himself in a strange dark room. It looked like a bedchamber in a castle. A fireplace to the side roared with life. And from that fire, a white figure emerged.
Discord could barely see anything as the light from the being nearly blinded him. He could faintly make out a horn, wings, and a flowing mane.
“Discord!”
Discord was surprised it knew his name. “Hello?”
The being’s brightness dimmed slightly. “Have you found her?”
“Found who?” Discord didn’t understand. “What are you?”
It bowed its head. “An old friend.” The voice was very feminine, full of kindness. “Don’t worry, Discord. This is your life. Go out and find what it is you desire, and you will find it.”
Discord felt the room stretch as the light grew brighter. “Wait! Don’t go!” He freaked out as he fell through a door into a stormy night. He could hear himself scream, but they were baby screams.
Discord gasped as he sat up, pushing away the repetitive licks to his face from Winona. She made little barking noises and buried her head into Discord’s side.
“Just a dream.” Discord felt the ground of his home and was glad. It was getting late.