//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 - Trials of the Badlands // Story: The Curse of the Statuettes // by Dusk Melody //------------------------------// Having left the tablet and Gully Trotter behind in the cave, as the Professor was in no fit state to go adventuring, climbing up cliffs and facing off against whatever the Guardians might be, Sparkler looked up at the peaks of Dustmane Ridge that rose high above them. “Is there an escalator?” “Sparks,” Cloudburst tugged on the grappling harness that she wore over her clothes, “I think we're wearing the escalators. We got another climb on our hands guys!” she looked on envious as the roc took off, chirping loudly for them to follow it as it flew, seemingly unaffected by the strong wind that grounded her. “Yay,” Stonecutter said without the slightest trace of enthusiasm whatsoever, “I can hardly wait.” The climb up the remainder of the cliff to the top of Dustmane Ridge was a long and arduous one. More than once, the strong wind sent them crashing into the rockface, and by the time they reached the very top they were all three covered in small scratches and bruises from the ascent. “Okay,” Sparkler panted for breath as they stepped onto a great plateau, “First of all, trees shouldn’t be growing at this altitude, and second, there is nothing natural about those trees.” Stonecutter, who was similarly gasping down great lungfuls of air, saw what had piqued Sparkler’s interest. Ahead of them was a large wooden structure. It was easily taller than most of the buildings in Ponyville and it seemed almost woven together. “What do you mean?” “It kinda looks like a nest,” Cloudburst said as they got closer and she realised the vast structure was built out of hundreds of intertwining bits of trees. “You see how the interlocking tree trunks are arranged like that?” it showed a definite care and intelligence to its construction. Just then, the baby roc returned and landed back on Cloudburst’s shoulder, twittering and pointing to the structure with its wings. Sparkler looked at the baby bird with a smile, “I think we found this one's home.” “How do you know it's a nest?” asked Stonecutter. As they approached it, the tree trunk structure towered over them, blocking out the sun as they followed a rough path along a winding passageway that led them inside. “What?” Cloudburst asked defensively as they made their way deeper inside, stepping carefully over, under, and between the big tree trunks until they eventually made it out on the other side of the wall, “I'm mates with Blackbeak. I've seen him make a nest when he plays with his cute little stallion.” Once they were through the wall, Stonecutter looked around at the very large, very wide bowl-shaped space they were now stood in, the wall making a complete circle around the outer edge. “Um...do you think there's a momma one of those in here?” “Of course there is,” Sparkler looked around at the empty space, “Or…there will be. So, you up for some more punching?” The very instant the unicorn had said that, the roc had started to go crazy. It shook its head and flapped its wings, twittering and chirping like it might have a heart attack. Cloudburst got the message. “Uuuh...I don' think we should do that, Sparks. Junior here thinks it’s a bad idea.” Suddenly, like it had been summoned by the ponies’ mere presence, there came an almighty thunderous sound overhead, like a huge rush of air passing over them. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, the sound came in steady beats. Above the three mares, a dark ominous shape loomed out of the sky, casting a great shadow across the mountainside. Bursting through the clouds was an unbelievably big bird. When it landed in the bowl, it caused the very earth to shake beneath their hooves. What was obviously the mother roc was seventy feet tall with a wingspan that was easily a hundred feet across from wingtip to wingtip, and she had a shining frill of gemstones atop her rocky feathered head. When she let out a deafening screech, Sparkler decided to try and hide under Stonecutter, who was happy to be a shield. “Ah, Sp-Sparks?” the earth pony stuttered, “Wh-What does your book say about her?” Supressing her panic, Sparkler grabbed her creature book and flicked through the pages until she found what she was looking for. “Roc, indigenous to the Badlands. Large, extremely dangerous, carnivore. A proud creature, one can avoid being lunch if they show due respect. Cloudy, play nice and see if you can get what we need for the tablet!” “Play nice?” Cloudburst asked, feeling exceptionally small under the mother roc’s imperious gaze, “So we gotta be like, respectful and stuff?” as soon as she said that, the pegasus shuddered as the huge roc cawed loudly and nodded her head. “Try it Cloudy, you might just like it.” “Buck you, Sparks, I can do respectful,” Cloudburst looked up at the massive rocky bird and she knew just what to do. It was just a matter of getting into the proper head space. Slowly, carefully, she approached the mother roc with her head down in a low bow, her arms out wide with her palms open and upturned and her wings spread wide open. She had only adopted the pegasi submission pose for Seafoam before. Now, she dropped to one knee before the roc. “My lady of the skies, it is a pleasure to kneel before you.” Just like her baby, the mother could understand what the pony had said to her and she let out a gentle caw of appreciation, and the enormous bird looked at the pegasus quite favourably, like a mother would to a chick. Somewhat emboldened, Stonecutter stepped forward and bowed too, but unfortunately she chose her words poorly. “So nice house…” immediately, the roc screeched out a caw of displeasure that rang in the earth pony's ears. “Nest, she meant nest!” Sparkler said as she too bent her knee and bowed respectfully before the mother roc. “Cloudy I think she understands us. Tell her about rescuing her baby.” Cloudburst, who had not moved from her pose of total submission, looked up at the mother apologetically. “Please forgive my friend, ma’am.” She pointed to Stonecutter, “It was her and her skill who helped to heal your chick's wing.” Stonecutter nodded quickly when the mother turned her scrutinous gaze upon her, “It was a sincere honour to help, ma'am.” Sparkler said, “We were honoured to escort your chick home, ma’am.” After she had heard what the three ponies had to say, and the respectful way in which they had said it, the mother turned to her baby. The two birds engaged in some serious chirping and twittering between each other, with some gesturing of their wings and eventually, satisfied, the mother leant down to nuzzle each pony in turn, a sign of her gratitude. Then, with a grateful caw, she presented them with her blessing. Sparkler saw the mother drop the large gleaming blue buckball sized gemstone in front of Cloudburst. “Cloudy,” she whispered, “You take it.” “Yes ma'am, Mistress Sparkler,” Cloudburst, well and truly in her sub-space, or her comfort zone, took up the blue gemstone and, the moment it touched her hands, it began to glow with a magical aura. Once she had it, she stood and gave the mother roc another a low bow and she led the way out the nest. “Thank you for the gift, ma’am,” Sparkler bowed along with Stonecutter and then the two mares followed Cloudburst out of the nest. As soon as they were outside the large nest, Stonecutter turned on her best friend, “Mistress Sparkler? What was that, CB?” “I’m sorry, sub space,” Cloudburst explained without so much as a blush, because she had nothing whatsoever to be embarrassed about. “It’s kinda hard to get out of once you're in the proper head space, y’know? You'll get it, the more you play.” Sparkler got it, alright, and she giggled in understanding. “I'm not so sure about sharing. Still, I'll take it for what it is. Good work back there, Cloudy.” Cloudburst shrugged, at the same time she shrugged off her sub space. “It was no bother, Sparks. Soon as you had it figured out, it was easy. I've been Seafoam's pet for ages now, and I can just slide into the submissive aspect as easy as slipping into a swimming pool.” Cloudburst then looked over to the extreme southern tip of the mountain, “Guys, is that smoke, over there to the south?” Sparkler looked where her friend was pointing and, sure enough, there was a large plume of darkened smoke pouring from the southern tip in the far distance. “The tablet said the last trial is Trial by Fire.” “Why the buck can't it be Trial by Marshmallow?” On the way across the plateau of Dustmane Ridge, they managed to find a path down the mountainside that they could walk, which meant they didn’t have to use the grappling harnesses for once. That didn’t stop Sparkler giving Cloudburst a minor eye roll for her quip. “From my book, it’s either going to be a dragon or a salamander.” “I wouldn't mind a Trial by Spa right about now,” Stonecutter grumbled, “I ache like a bucker in places I never knew I had.” “It's gonna be a dragon,” Cloudburst moaned, the pegasus quickly reaching the end of her rope. “How are we going to get a dragon to give us anything?” Sparkler wondered aloud before she consulted her book just in case it had any advice to give them, “They are so greedy…” “It might not be a dragon...” “Oh come on, Stone!” Cloudburst spun around with an angry expression plastered all over her muzzle. She was so angry that her wings fluffed up in a classically aggressive posture, “When has anything on this stupid trip been easy, huh? C’mon, tell me! When has it been easy?” “Tent, first night,” Sparkler said softly, quailing under the pegasi’s ire, “Yeah that was easy…” Cloudburst though was not done. “I mean what in the name of Tartarus was Spike thinking?” she ranted, her head of steam building and building, “We're so out of our depth it's stupid! We are hilariously not suited for this! I’m surprised we haven’t been killed to death ten times over by now!” Sparkler recognised her friend was well on the way to a full on melt down, and she tried to head her off. “I don't know about that. You got the gem from the Tatzlwurm, and you got the roc to give the other. I think you're better at this than we are.” “Are you serious right now?” Cloudburst yelled at Sparkler like a damn bursting it’s banks, “You’re serious? Our teachers couldn’t handle this shit and they’ve saved Equestria a million times! We are three eighteen year old mares! You've got allergies coming out your ass, Stone can barely climb the mountains and I'm pr…I-I have issues...” “CB,” Stonecutter walked over and hugged her best friend as tightly as she could without breaking her spine. “You know, doing yourself down is my schtick. Sparkler's right. We wouldn't be this far without you.” As soon as she had the chance, Sparkler followed up with a hug of her own, mostly so she could whisper in Cloudburst’s ear so that Stonecutter couldn’t hear, “I'm saying nothing, okay?” Louder, she said, “You're part of our team. We need you to make up for our issues.” Hearing that, Cloudburst would be ashamed to admit later that she had a little cry in Sparkler’s arms. Eventually though, she looked up through tear stained eyes and she was grateful to see not an ounce of judgement from either of the other two mares. “O-Okay...okay,” she said through sniffs and sobs, “I uh, I'm good, now.” Carefully, Sparkler used her thumbs to wipe away the tears that were staining Cloudburst’s pale blue fur. “Let's get back to Professor Trotter and rest for the night. The last gem can wait till tomorrow.” “But...” “We'll go and rest, CB.” Stonecutter said in a tone that meant there was no arguing with her. Her best friend was running on empty, if she was honest, they all were. The demanding, dangerous trip had taken a lot out of them and, she was sure, would affect them long after it was done. “I'll make us all some hot food and we'll do it tomorrow, after a night’s rest.” Even Sparkler, whose interpersonal skills were admittedly lacking, could see that Cloudburst was on her last nerve. She was coming apart at the seams, though she alone knew exactly why her pregnant friend was coming apart. “You can share our tent, Cloudy. Better than sleeping alone,” she giggled, “Or you can sleep with the Professor.” “I know I like stallions,” Cloudburst rolled her eyes and gave an exaggerated shudder, “But he's like, a million years too old for me. I'll crash with you guys.” ~ ~ ~ The next day found not just Cloudburst but the whole group in much better spirits than they had been in for a long time. Stonecutter had been right in her assessment that a hot supper – and breakfast – combined with a night’s rest, had been just what they needed. That had taken care of their weary souls, while Pony Balm from Gully Trotter had restored their scratches, cuts and bruises. The Professor had been so thrilled to see two of the gemstones that he had given them half of his supply. After a night like that, they were all ready to attack the mountain with the similar vigour that Stonecutter attacked a buffet and Sparkler devoured a library. After a couple of hours – thankfully – easy trek along the mountainside to the far south, Cloudburst was flying to stretch her powerful wings leaving her two friends chatting down below. The pale blue mare was just happy that the winds that had hindered their climb the day before had dissipated. Sparkler had theorised it was the mother roc causing the winds. She didn’t care. She just wanted to fly. With the sun at her back, Cloudburst flew in a dizzying array of aerial manoeuvres worthy of any Wonderbolt applicant, that is until her sharp eyes spied movement on the ground, ahead of them, among the rocks. “What the hay...” she muttered as she slowed to a hover just a few feet above Sparkler and Stonecutter. “What is it, Cloudy?” Sparkler asked as she pulled her nose out of the book she had been reading to see what was up. Keeping the sun behind her so that it masked her presence, Cloudburst shot back up to get a better look. Her fears confirmed, she swooped back down, concern etched on her face. “Bandits. Dogs. Three of them. Armed. Coming down from the left about forty feet ahead.” “oh no…not again!” Sparkler lit her horn with a charged telekinesis spell ready to cast the moment she saw the bandits. Flashes of the speeding flatbed came back to her, but, unlike that time, they were not caught unprepared. They were ready for them. When the bandits saw that their potential prey was prepared, a unicorn with a charged horn, a pegasus with electricity crackling around her hands and an earth pony who looked ready for a fight, the diamond dogs ran off screaming in fear. When they were safe, and only when she judged they were safe, Sparkler wilted to her knees as the light from her horn went out. “I'm a killer…” “Hey now!” Stonecutter, relaxed from her fighting posture, wrapped her strong arms around Sparkler and hauled the distraught mare to her hooves, hugging her tight in the process and kissing her horn, her nose and her lips. “None of that, you hear? You're a hero!” On reflex, Sparkler channelled her telekinesis from her horn to her hands and with a gesture she shoved the three hundred and fifty pound mare back like she weighed nothing. “Don't touch me!” she screamed, “I'm dirty!” Though she was pushed back a few feet, Stonecutter nonetheless was back in Sparkler’s space and hugging her in a heartbeat. Behind the unicorn, Cloudburst came in and wrapped them all in a tight feathery hug. “Sparkler,” Stonecutter said softly, “I love you.” “Y-Yo-You...” Sparkler stammered, “T-They...” she didn’t finish whatever it was she was going to say. Instead she started to cry with her face pressed against Stonecutter's impressive breasts. Without a moment’s hesitation, Stonecutter pulled Sparkler’s head in between her breasts, each one easily bigger than the unicorn’s head for a long hug that showed no immediate sign of being let up any time soon. “Hey, Stone,” Cloudburst chuckled when she saw that Sparkler wasn’t moving, “You might wanna let her breathe. She'll pass out in there.” “Then she'll die happy,” Stonecutter shot back, and Sparkler started to giggle and then laugh. “It's like losing a stone down a canyon! Seriously,” Cloudburst looked longingly at her best friend’s massive chest and then down at her flat chest, “How are they that big?” she was absolutely jealous, because hers weren’t even A cups. “Seafoam doesn't play with mine,” Stonecutter said, the earth pony mare loving where Sparkler’s head was, “Only yours.” “Hmph...whatever,” Cloudburst pouted, but it was all fake. Internally she was soaring, because Stonecutter had made her think of her beloved Master, “Alright ponies, are we kicking this dragon's ass or what?” Suddenly, after what felt like a lifetime, Sparkler pulled back from Stonecutter’s hefty bosom – leaving an imprint of her face behind – and took a much needed breath. “I hope not,” she said as she straightened her dress and attempted to regain her composure, “I hope it gives up the gem if we ask nicely.” “Remember the ursa minor back in the Everfree Forest?” Stonecutter asked as they resumed their trek across the mountainside towards the extremely tall and wide rocky spire to the south, “He gave us Angel back after we gave him the doll. Maybe if we give the dragon something, we'll get the gem?” Sparkler found herself considering it, “If it's a baby dragon that might just work. I’m not sure what an adult would want in trade though.” “We could give him or her CB,” Stonecutter said with a completely straight face, “Like a sacrificial offering?” In a very loud stage whisper, Sparkler replied, “I think you have to be a virgin for that.” Stonecutter snapped her fingers, “Darn it, that's that plan bucked...” she burst out laughing though when Cloudburst spun on her hoof to face them both and, walking backwards, the pegasus raspberried them both, while at the same time flipping them both off with her middle fingers and the largest primary feathers of her wings. “Thank you both,” Sparkler said after she had finished laughing, “I'm good. Let's go charm a dragon.” “I'll fly ahead, scout out the area. You two...behave.” “Fine,” Sparkler said as Cloudburst flew off ahead, “I'll try not to get lost in the valley.” Stonecutter pointed to her huge bust and winked, “You can get lost in this valley.” “The only valley I'd get lost in. Come along, we can't let CB go three for three on the gems.” “She'd be even more unbearable than she is now,” Stonecutter replied as she held Sparkler’s hand and they both hurried off towards the immense spire and the even bigger plume of dark smoke rising ominously up from its tip. “Guys! It's all clear, c'mon!” Cloudburst yelled from her position at the head of the group. If she was honest, she wasn’t that surprised to find the area this close to the spire free of bandits and any other creature, for that matter. She guessed – correctly - that a resident dragon would keep everything else at bay. Sparkler looked at the wide spire, easily twice as wide as the town hall in Ponyville, and she saw a very narrow spiral staircase that lead around the outside, climbing higher and higher up until it was lost to her sight. That seemed to be the only way up. She put that and deep rumbling bellows to the back of her mind. “The flyer says it's clear. You okay with heights, Stoney?” “N-Not really...b-but I'll have to be. Let's just get this over with…” “Hold my hand,” Sparkler gripped the quivering earth pony’s hand firmly, “Face the spire and only look down at your hooves. One step at a time.” It didn’t help matters that this close to the spire, the billowing smoke above them was blotting out the sun, greatly reducing their visibility. As soon as they started the climb up the winding staircase, Stonecutter found that they couldn’t use the grappling harnesses here. One, the steps jutted out too far, and two, there was no point in the smooth surface of the spire to latch the hooks onto. So, they had to take the stairs. Immediately, she gripped Sparkler's hand and walked up very slowly. “I can do this...I can do this...” While Stonecutter repeated her mantra over and over and over again, upwards they climbed, with Cloudburst flying alongside them ready to catch any slippages. The higher they got, the more the booming rumbling unnerved and unsettled them. The height alone was dizzying. Heights were no concern to Sparkler normally, but over five hundred feet up on just a narrow staircase, she was affected. At the top of the stairs, Stonecutter was a shaking wreck of a pony who could barely stand up on her hooves. “I-I-I g-got th-this...” Sparkler then saw something else that gave her cause for concern. The stairs led to a tunnel. Twice the height of a pony and just wide enough that two of them could walk side by side, it was pitch black. “That goes into the spire. You're going to have to walk Cloudy. It's narrow, you going to be okay?” “Oh what the bucking hay...you gotta be kidding me!” Cloudburst shivered and trembled, but she stepped forwards to the mouth of the tunnel. The very prospect of going inside made her legs turn to jelly, but she walked. “Stone climbed up here. I can go in there.” “Take Stoney's hand,” Sparkler said with authority, “I'll lead.” When she stepped up to the front of the party, the unicorn lit her horn so they could at least have some light. “I hate this!” Cloudburst scrunched up her eyes tight and she held Stonecutter’s hand so hard that had she not been an earth pony there was a good chance she might have broken it, “I hate this! I hate this so much!” The deep rumbling bellows coming from up ahead of them didn’t help. “Good news,” Sparkler said after fifteen minutes walking through the tunnel, “The dragon is home,” she said in an awed voice. “Bad news. Dragon is home.” “Have I mentioned how much I hate this!?” “Me too, CB.” Stonecutter held her best friend tight, she could see the end of the tunnel up ahead of them, but she couldn’t see the dragon yet. “The spa is definitely on my to do list when we get home.” Sparkler suddenly stopped in her tracks. Having exited the tunnel, she found herself in a huge and surprisingly lushly-decorated chamber. Sunlight streamed in from the open ceiling and around the walls hung many lovely, expensive and rare tapestries, ornaments and paintings that wouldn’t look out of place in the royal palace of Canterlot or the Crystal Empire. At the centre of the large chamber, laid on top of a small mountain of gold, coins, chalices, treasure chests, gems of all sizes, as well as weapons and armour, was quite frankly the biggest living ‘thing’ she had ever seen! “That…is one big dragon,” she whispered to herself. That was an understatement. He, was two hundred feet from nose to tail, had a wingspan easily as big as the mother roc and claws half as big as her whole body. And he was looking right at her. “I…I ah…I don’t think we need to bother him…” “You're joking!” Cloudburst yelped from the entrance to the tunnel, making the dragon look at her and making a little pee leak between her legs. “We're here! And I walked through that hole! Go and see what it wants!” “I hope it isn't a virgin sacrifice…” Sparkler muttered as she stepped further into the chamber, dragging her marefriend with her, while Cloudburst bravely elected to stay where she was. As far away as possible. “Well hello there!” the dragon said in a deep, booming voice that had a joviality to it that was completely at odds with the creature’s very intimidating appearance. “I didn’t see you come in! My name is Caldera,” he greeted them with what was supposed to be a warm smile, but the rows of steak knife like teeth made the two mares wary. “It’s been ages since I last had a visitor. Come, stay a while and listen!” he gestured with a mighty clawed hand to a spot on the floor, where they sat. “Now, what do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse!” Sparkler wasn’t sure if it was her rampant nerves playing a trick on her mind, but as she laughed, the dragon let out a series of deep rumbling sounds that instinctively she knew were laughter. That was what the rumbles they had heard had been! The dragon, Caldera, was laughing! “Ha, hahahahaha, a little horse!” she genuinely laughed along with him, “That is really good!” Even Stonecutter could see that when Sparkler laughed along with the dragon, his immense yellow eyes lit up. Then, she was reminded of the inscription carved on the stone tablet. ‘Seek out the Fire Guardian, atop his southern spire, and share in his joy.’ An idea came to her. It would either work or get them eaten. “Tell him a joke. He seems to like to laugh.” Honestly, it was no stranger plan than anything Sparkler had come up with in the last few seconds. And, she had to agree with her marefriend. When she had laughed, Caldera had laughed all the harder. Perhaps this was what the tablet meant by sharing in his joy? It was worth a shot. “Ahem,” she cleared her throat, “I bet you are easy to weigh, Caldera.” When he heard that, Caldera smirked, the edges of the dragon’s mouth twitched upwards as he lowered his head down next to the unicorn, the better to hear her, “And why is that, young mare?” “You've got a lot of scales!” “Bwaaahahahaha!” as soon as the punchline left the unicorn pony’s mouth, Caldera was laughing so hard that his gigantic barrel chest heaved and shook. It had been nigh on a thousand summers since he had been told a joke, let alone one as good as that. “That's a good one!” he slapped his thigh and the hoard he rested on shook, “Do you by chance know another?” It was odd, Sparkler mused, that for all the dragon’s immense size and scary intimidating look, when he laughed like that – Sparkler at last understood the meaning of ‘belly laugh’ – he suddenly wasn’t that scary at all. If anything, Sparkler judged that the great blue dragon was rather lonely. “I know why dragons are such good story tellers!” “Really,” Caldera boomed, though he did try to adjust his voice a little, “And why are we such good storytellers?” “You always have impressive tails!” At that, Caldera laughed for a good long minute. He laughed so hard that a great gout of smoke billowed out of his mouth and drifted out of the top of the chamber. “Oh...oooh my...it's been so long since I've laughed like that!” he gasped and wiped away a few tears from his eyes where he had been crying. “One does get terribly lonely up here.” “I have one,” Stonecutter offered. Like Sparkler, she was less and less afraid of Caldera the more time she spent watching him laugh. “What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of his way!” While the dragon was reeling from that, Sparkler quickly followed up. “That reminds me of another. Why don't dragons like candles on their birthday cake?” Caldera was laughing so hard he was in floods of tears that he didn’t try to wipe away this time, “Wh-Why?” “Because when they try to blow them out, they just light them again!” That did it. Caldera couldn’t hold back his laughter any longer. The immense two hundred foot long dragon rolled from his gold hoard and pounded the floor in gales of laughter, which made the whole top of the spire shake. He was kicking his legs he was laughing so hard. That he was picturing a cake that he was trying to blow on made him laugh all the harder. “My...my young ponies...” he said when he could speak again, “That was so funny! However can I repay your kindness?” Sparkler bit her lip. This was why they were here, after all. “You wouldn't happen to have a large gemstone, from a place called Umberfoal, would you?” “Why yes, I do,” Caldera blinked once then twice, trying to remember where he had stashed the rare gem, “Would you like it?” “Yes please,” Sparkler nodded, “We are on a quest and it would be very helpful to us.” “Then you may have it with my blessing, young unicorn,” Caldera thrust his arm deep into his vast treasure hoard and, after a few moments, he pulled it out. In his clawed hand, he held a dazzling orange gemstone. He then gestured to the rest of his hoard. “A gift for you all, you may take one thing each with you. It's the least I can do to say thank you!” Sparkler looked on enviously at the immense hoard. She pictured just one object in all of that could have bought her way back into Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. But…that would mean giving up everything she had now. And that meant Stonecutter. At a mighty effort, she closed her eyes and lets out a breath. “The orange gem is all we need. An invite to come back and swap jokes would be nice also.” “Consider it done!” Caldera passed over the gem, and when it touched Sparkler’s hands, it glowed with a magical aura just like the other two had done. “Please, do come back whenever you can. You've been delightful company!” As soon as she had the glowing orange gemstone in her hands, Sparkler bowed gratefully before stowing it safely in her pack. “Maybe you'd like to share a joke with us before we leave? Then you'll still have our laughter.” “Well, on my travels, back in the days when I did travel,” Caldera smiled, showing off every single one of his wickedly sharp teeth, “I did hear one joke that a pony told me a long time ago. Would you like to hear it?” “Yes please!” Caldera’s yellow eyes glinted with what was clearly a mischievous light. He was going to enjoy this for a long time to come, that was for sure. “What's the difference between a Celestial nun praying and a Celestial nun taking a bath?” “Um,” Sparkler was genuinely puzzled. It was a sign of the age of the joke that there hadn’t been Celestial nuns for almost six hundred years. “I’m afraid I don't know.” “One has hope in her soul, and the other has soap in her hole!” the last couple of words were somewhat drowned out by raucous laughter not only from the dragon, who was on his back kicking his legs in the air, but from Cloudburst at the entrance to the chamber who was doubled over and clutching her sides. Sparkler and Stonecutter shared a look with each other before they too fell on the floor laughing until their sides ached.