Dear Anon,
Humor is well and good and I understand that you feel a need to have a bit of fun at the expense of others from time to time, but some pranks are both unsafe and unwise to perpetuate. I have taken the liberty of arranging for your punishment in advance should it have been discovered you were behind this.
The guards will remain for 72 hours as per standard procedure. I suggest you behave and act in accordance with your supposed 'fuckmonkey genius' until they leave, or I swear by my sister I will ensure you will never be allowed coffee in this country again.
Penned angrily by,
HRH CelestiaPS. I'm glad you and Twilight are alright.