//------------------------------// // Chapter 19: Belonging // Story: Transparent Living // by PinoyPony //------------------------------// Dazzle took a deep breath and stepped into Yttrium’s office. “Aftern’n Dazzle!” Yttrium greeted with a smile. He spit out his pencil and brushed his paperwork to the side. “What can I do for you today?” Dazzle waved towards the seat in front of his desk, a plastic stool with a padded seat. “Go ahead.” he said. “What’s on your mind?” Dazzle didn’t want to let it out all at once. She wanted to stall as much as she could since she was in no hurry to get back to that nasty Nurse Transfusion. “I just wanted to pop in and take your offer for lunch.” “Sure thing!” He crouched towards a small refrigerator by his desk. Dazzle heard a lot of glasses and jars clinking against each other as Yttrium rummaged through. Dazzle glanced about, seeing the items he had on display in his office. A cross-section model of a unicorn skull, charts of front and side views of pony anatomy, even a couple plaques of random clippings. “What would you like? Daisy sandwich or Minestrone soup?” he asked, holding out a sandwich in one hoof and a bowl of soup in his other. “Eh, Daisy Sandwich.” Dazzle answered. “Good choice! Minestrone soup for me!” He set the daisy sandwich on a plate and slid it over to Dazzle. “Thank you.” Dazzle said. She noticed a couple things on his desk, from a couple holsters for pens (obviously stuffed to the max with oddball pens) to pictures. They were obviously pictures of him and his family, by what she could tell, Yttrium had no shortage of brothers. The pictures even sprawled onto the corkboard on the wall, pictures of various patients and hospital staff. Then, a picture caught her eye. A feeling of odd Deja vu washed over her. She’d never seen the picture before in her life, but why was it so… familiar? It was a picture of two foals- a filly and a colt. The filly she recognized, a tan coat, white and blue mane, straight and sharp, calm and original. Coco. Next to her, is a colt with gray coat, and a crimson mane. Yttrium. Coco had a bright yellow cast on her hindleg. Yttrium had a hoof over his shoulder. Both of them were beaming with glee, sporting a piece-wise smiles with missing teeth. Something you would see on the yearbooks of previous years in elementary. Over the bottom of the picture, she barely made out the scratchy hoof-writing. ‘Thanks for taking care of me!’ “What’s that?” Dazzle asked, pointing out that particular picture. “Oh that?” he smiled politely. “That’s my memory wall!” He stirred his soup. Dazzle stared more at the wall, this time, making it so he wasn’t nervous. He was avoiding the question, after all. She noticed a lot of faces, some smiling, some not. However, she couldn’t shake the thought that none of the smiles were as wide as filly Coco’s. Dazzle’s eyes wandered. Suddenly, a newspaper clipping caught her attention. It read ‘Coco Pommel, Rising Star?’ The subtitle below it said ‘Mare-ison Bergeron: After the Fact’ Dazzle chose to keep it quiet. Just in this sitting alone, she uncovered more than enough proof to tell Yttrium had a crush on Coco. Whether it was creepy or cute, she didn’t know. Part of her wanted to tell Coco, but she couldn’t disclose that information because of the agreement she signed in her volunteer contract. She was a previous patient of his, not hers, after all. “So, how goes school?” he asked. He took a spoonful of soup, blew on it, and slurped it. “Great! I’m making new friends!” Dazzle tapped her hoof against the edge of his desk. Her ears perked up as she got an idea. “I might even have a pony who could tutor me in Chemistry.” she added. “That’s great!” Dazzle felt the nagging feeling to tell him what happened earlier in her shift. She wanted to hop onto some other conversation to distract him, but all her advances gone nowhere. “Can I ask you something though, Doctor?” Dazzle leaned in closer and whispered. “I’m having problems in the workplace.” He sat upright; attention focused on Dazzle. “Can you help me get Nurse Transfusion off my case?” Dazzle asked. “I have six patients to care for today, and if I’m going to review any lab results, I need to get my rounds done.” “I see.” he said. “I’m sure you can get what you need to done. Six patients is usually a moderate load.” “But Nurse Transfusion keeps pulling me aside for inconsequential things!” Dazzle clenched her teeth. “I do admit, I was being a klutz this morning! I accidentally dropped something running into Nurse Transfusion but she railed on me for not being careful and I should always do accuracy before speed. So, I did things carefully.” “That’s good.” Doctor Fuse said. “But that’s not the end of it!” Dazzle threw her hooves up in the air. “After a million call lights went off, Nurse Transfusion has at me again for going too slow.” Dazzle took a deep breath. “That’s why I came in here, to catch a little air during my lunch hour.” “Hmm.” Yttrium began. “I do agree with Nurse Transfusion, if you are going to help me in the labs, you need to be careful. Don’t want to spread the Corrosion anywhere else.” He put his hoof to his chin. “And I can’t lie and say your help is not needed.” He said in a serious and direct tone. “We have had a massive influx of patients lately. Corrosion is spreading faster than ever before.” “How much?” “We have twice as many sick from when you were in the labs last time.” Yttrium explained. “We had gathered only a hoof-ful over the past two years. Now, it has doubled the past six months.” “All the more reason to ditch the Cardiac Department.” Dazzle said. “I wouldn’t say that.” Yttrium scrunched his eyebrows. “Both are important.” “Isn’t the cure more important?” Dazzle frowned. “As much as I want to say it is, I have to say ‘no’.” he said sternly. “You know Dazzle, I think you are judging too much off of first impressions. Nurse Transfusion is more like you than you think.” “What?” Dazzle asked. “But Nurse Transfusion is mean!” His mouth twisted. “Nurse Transfusion has been through a lot, Dazzle.” “Like what?” Dazzle folded her hooves. It took a little bit, since she had to consciously fold them because she hadn’t done it before in her adult form. “Well, if you should know, you’ll be going through the same things that she had gone through.” Yttrium said. “Being an Earth Pony is hard in a hospital environment, especially when it’s this competitive. She had to say things how they are and be bossy from time to time to make sure she wasn’t getting kicked out. But, if you really get to know her, she has a heart of gold.” “It’s too often that we treat the workplace like wash, rinse, and repeat.” Yttrium explained. “I see it a whole new different way. We should treat our job like a support group.” He sighed. “Everypony has their weaknesses, and tough times bring those flaws to the forefront. But what matters is that we learn from our mistakes and move on.” Yttrium leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs. “Dazzle, I know how you are, and you are a great addition to the research team. But I need to say something directly, and I want you to really think about it and not brush it off.” Dazzle nodded. Yttrium expected her to listen, so she decided to listen. “Shoot.” “There is a time to stand, and a time to take things with grace.” Yttrium said. “I know you are good at one of those, but you require wisdom to know which one to use.” “How will I know the difference?” Dazzle asked. “Ready for me to blow your mind?” Doctor Fuse smirked. “The trick is that there is no difference!” Dazzle balked. “What?” “You heard me!” Yttrium laughed. “There is no difference!” Dazzle thought about it for a bit. How could defending yourself and staying silent the same thing? “Let me explain it in more simple terms.” Yttrium said. “I learned this lesson very late in life. My example is, do you have a best friend?” Dazzle nodded. “Okay, imagine somepony picking on you, what does this best friend do?” Dazzle thought back to Ponyville. Whenever ponies would accuse Dazzle of being a bully, Silver would back her up. She didn’t realize that until now. “Now, imagine that best friend, being picked on. What do you do?” Dazzle nodded. All those times Silver Spoon got flack for her actions, Dazzle would just sit and stare. “If you are sticking your neck out for another pony, nine times out of ten, you are in the right,” Yttrium said, “and at the same time, you are taking things with grace.” “So, you are saying, treat Nurse Transfusion with kindness?” Dazzle asked. “Yep!” Yttrium looked at the clock. “Looks like your lunch hour is almost up. I know you still have a mess to clean up, but if you come by, I’ll let you into the lab before you go home.” Dazzle smiled. “Thank you, Doctor!” Dazzle waved to him as she passed through the door. She narrowed her eyes and smirked. She had a Nurse to help. “Can you make yourself useful and go check Wild Card’s call light?” Nurse Transfusion growled as she struggled to put the new sheet over the hospital bed. Dazzle shook her head and helped with the other side. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help.” she said as she trotted out the door. “Geez… what has gotten into you?” Nurse Transfusion barked. “Can you drop the jolly act?” Dazzle peeked her head in and smiled devilishly. “Never!” Dazzle then speed walked over to Wild Card’s room. The journey to Wild Card’s room required a little bit of a trek. The staff tucked him into a far room at the end of the hallway. For obvious reasons. He had been waiting for a long time, so they gave him a room with a view of the city. She approached the end of the hallway. A glass window refracted the last light as Celestia’s sun dipped below the city’s skyscrapers. She took this as a good sign since the time of day marked only half an hour until her shift ended. Then… Yttrium would come and get her. She slipped into the last door on the right. Once she stepped into the room, she met eye contact with a colt in a hospital bed. Countless tubes roped and lassoed around him. Dazzle could only begin to name a couple of them amongst the several other machines she didn’t recognize. All through the tangle of tubes, she found his red coat with a golden mane to still have a healthy luster. He turned to Dazzle and asked, “Can I get a glass of water?” “Sure thing, honey!” Dazzle said. She cringed, asking herself why she said ‘honey’ in the first place. Probably Nurse Transfusion’s mannerisms. She grabbed his water bottle and filled it up in the sink. To pass the time, she asked, “So, what is your name?” “Wild Card.” he replied. “Are you that mean nurse from before?” Dazzle sighed. “I’m sorry, I was in a bad mood earlier. Pretty stressed.” “It’s okay.” he replied weakly. “Did you know that stressed is desserts backwards?” “You’re funny!” Dazzle glanced at the a pile of papers on his table. “Are you good at writing?” “Yeah,” he said. “Do you also like to read?” Dazzle shut the faucet off. “Oh yes!” He nodded vigorously. “What’s your favorite book?” She brought the water bottle over to his desk, and found a tiny spot to set it. She didn’t want to ruin his work. “”Wait for Me!’ said Filly McHoovington.” He answered. “It’s about this filly who is the youngest of her siblings. Wants to grow up so she can reach the cookie jar and do the stuff her older siblings are able to do. Most of all, she wants to get her cutie mark. In the end, all her wishes are fulfilled as her older siblings help her, but she gets her cutie mark all by herself!” “Sounds wonderful!” Dazzle said. “I need to check it out sometime!” “You should!” he said. “I’d bet your special talent is to read and write!” Dazzle pointed out. She made that wild guess because the blankets were covering his flank. “I think it is, but I don’t have my cutie mark yet. I wish I could get it.” His ears drooped. Dazzle looked at his current state. His weak body prohibited him but his mind wanted to be able to do everything. She remembered that feeling- to be searching for a purpose, and have dreams of reaching it, but being unable to grasp it due to your circumstances. She knew what to do. “You know, I think that if you believe you can achieve something with all of your heart, then it will come true.” “You think so?” he asked with a smile. “I know so.” Dazzle set the bottle down on his table. “It has happened for me. I know it can happen for you.” “Thank you, Nurse Dazzle.” he said, leaning forward. He must’ve had good eyes to read her name tag. “Actually, I’m not a nurse, I’m just a volunteer.” Dazzle smiled. “Thank you, Volunteer Dazzle.” Wild Card corrected himself. “Need anything else?” Dazzle asked. “Nope.” he answered. Dazzle quietly left the room. Once she was outside, she pressed her back against the wall. She never felt this way in a long time. It was a remnant of the first time she came to this big and cold town. She looked out the window and saw the sun threading its rays of light through the distant towers. Sunset in Mane-hattan. Winter was coming to an end… and for once in a long time… Her life felt complete. She belonged in Mane-hattan in all of its craziness. “Hey, you okay?” She heard Yttrium say as he galloped up to her. “Did Nurse Transfusion yell at you again?” “No…” Dazzle turned to Yttrium. “I’m just happy.”