Anon II: The Second Part

by 23 KM To Nerdiness


Chapter 23: Epilogue

"And then Starlight and I followed a path through the Everfree and........here we are now."

"Did you come back with any scars?" Smolder asks.

You and Starlight exchange a quick smirk before you pull your shirt up to reveal the hundreds of small, slanted cuts strewn all over your back. All the students of the school of friendship bask in your epic aura of awesomeness as you and Starlight conclude your grand adventure. Soon, the final bell rings and every creature flock out the door chatting amongst themselves, leaving you two alone in the auditorium.

"So, how was I?" you ask.

"Dorky as always." Star giggles, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. "But that's what I love about you."

"Same to you, sweetheart."

You kneel down and kiss the mare's forehead as you teasingly rub her back, earning shaky moans from her.

"Ohhh, just like that." she sighs. "Lower, go lower."

"Work first, lower later."

"It's a date then."

Both of you compose yourselves before heading out into the hallways. While trying to locate the exit of the school, you notice up ahead the herd of students suddenly scurry over against the walls, making way for something big slowly stomping through.

Oof, make that TWO big somethings.

Upon further inspection, you and Starlight freeze in your tracks as you see two tall diamond dog guards in Bone City's usual grimy attire approaching, one of them covering something small in his big paws.

"Ugh, not AGAIN!" Star groans, lighting up her horn.

"Don't worry." you nod, getting into a karate stance. "We'll defend this school with our lives!"

Standing in the center of the hall, you two brace yourselves as the mutts stomp closer and closer, until they stop right in front of you both.

[Well.....here we go.]

"Mr. Anonymous, Miss Glimmer!" a voice cheers. "Good to see you again!"

There, the guard moves his paw to reveal-

"Kibbles?!" you gasp.

"What are you doing here?" Star asks.

"Well, during your.......shall we say, visit of Bone City, I overheard Miss Glimmer saying something about this 'school of friendship' and it intrigued me. So, we tracked you down and here we are."

"W-Well, of course!" Star utters. "We'd be glad to teach the.....kingdom all there is to know about friendship. Any creature can enroll."

"I hope so." Kibbles sighs. "Managing an unfriendly kingdom would NOT be good."

"Wait, wait, YOU'RE ruling Bone City now?" Star gasps.

"Who knew these guys would do anything for more of my bone biscuits?" the pup chuckled, feeding the two dogs a flaky treat. "I'm gonna get the old place down the right path."

"What happened to the monsters?" you ask. "How are they doing?"

"Oh, some went back to their natural habitats, others stayed behind to participate in the Killiseum games now that Fang is gone. I've made it less......BRUTISH than it was before. I renamed it to the 'Cooliseum'."

"That's great! You'd make a great queen."

"Eh, I'm not really feeling the 'queen' thing." Kibbles shrugs. "I prefer 'Ultra Supreme Executive Chairdog Kibbles'."

"Whatever makes you feel comfortable, I guess." Star shrugs. "Twilight's office is down the hall, to the right. You can discuss more with her."

"Oh, thank you. Let's go, gents."

The two guards continue down the hall while you two stare on.

"Wow. Looks like your plan worked after all, huh?" you chuckle.

"Yeah, I can't believe it either." Star says.

"I'm proud of you, Star."

"Thanks, Anon."


Outside of the school, you and Starlight make your way to Sugarcube Corner to pick up the little rascal. The sugarcoated building seems to be still intact, so that's a good sign. Indoors, you spot the Cake twins wrestling over a bowl of white frosting while Spirit watches idly by.

"Num num!" he squeaks, gnawing on his wee, frosting-covered hooves.

"Hey there, little buddy!" you coo.

"Ah-Nah!"

"Come to collect the little one here?" Mrs. Cake says, carrying a few bags of flour on her back.

"Yeah. Thanks again for babysitting. I'm guessing he was a handful?"

"Oh, he was no trouble at all, dearie. Little Spirit got along well with the twins. He was such a good boy."

"Heh, when he wants to be."

"Hee hee."

"See, there you go, always 'hee hee-ing' when you do something bad."

"Kids will be kids." Mrs. Cake giggles.

As she heads into the back room, you spot a jumbo yellow lollipop sticking out of Mrs. Cake's poofy pink mane.

"Squirt, did you do that?"

"Hee hee."

Once you three make it outside, a lone jar of purple jam comes rolling down the street, crossing your path. As you rush over to pick it up, a small, green blur cuts you off and yoinks it away. You look back and see a wagon filled with a mountain of various flavors of jam. There, you also see a familiar face approaching.

"Hey, you."

"W-Wallflower." you utter. "Good to see ya, what's happening?"

"Not much." she shrugs. "Mr. Jammers and I are looking for a spot to set up shop."

"Setting up WHAT?" Star gasps.

Out from the mountain of jam jars emerges the Dude himself, tangled up and ensnared in Jammers' vines and the load of jam.

"How are things going, Jeff?"

"We got it all under control here, my lady!" he calls out.

"Jeff there convinced me to try selling some of my jams here." Wally states. "Apparently, some ponies used to really like them before I left."

Dude eventually breaks free from his jammy prison and falls to the ground, only to be caught in Glimmy's magic. She sets him down easy and Wally assists in readjusting Mr. Jammers around the jars as Star organizes the load with ease.

"That was embarrassing." Dude chuckles sheepishly.

[You cheeky ol' stallion...]

"So, SHE'S the one that got away, huh?" you say slyly. "Who'd have thunk-"

"Shh!" he hisses. "Keep it on the DL, friend."

"So......you gonna ask her out, or what?"

"I-I'm getting to it. It's just.......I don't know when to."

"Don't worry, Dude. Now, you know very well I've been there. You said you missed your chance before. Now is your chance."

"But-"

"Just go..."

"With the flow." Dude sighs. "You're right, amigo."

The nervous stallion takes a deep breath and sorts himself out before heading over towards the oblivious mare.

"S-Say, Wallflower?" he stutters.

"Yes, Jeff?" she says warmly.

"I-I know a great spot where there's some totally ripe berries waiting to be picked, do you wanna maybe pick them with me sometime?"

[Smooth. Real smooth.]

"Oh, sure." Wally chimes. "Sounds good."

"C-Cool, cool. Sounds cool."

"We just need to find the right spot for the jams first, okay?"

"Gotcha."

"Give me a sec, fellas. Mr. Jammers, lift with your roots. Your ROOTS!"

Dude scurries over while Wallflower tends to her plant's shenanigans.

"Well, that wasn't my most righteous moment, wasn't it?" he sighs.

"You'll get there." you nod, patting the stallion's back. "Soon."

"I sure hope so."

"You going bowling afterwards?"

"You know it, Man."

"Attaboy."


After a short stroll through town and a close call with being spotted by the aquamarine hand fetishist, you three manage to make it to your humble home. As you head for the door, you feel something wet sliver down your head.

"Boy, how many times do I have to tell you to stop gumming my head to smithereens?" you grunt, yanking Spirit's slobbery maw from your dome.

"Eee ta!" he squeaks.

"And you've been keeping COUNT? I am NOT tasty."

"I wouldn't say that." Starlight utters.

"Oh? How so?"

"I mean........you don't taste BAD, but..."

"Would you come back for another taste?"

"Maaaaaaybe." she purrs. "Maybe a little, maybe more."

"How about the whole meal?"

"That could be arranged."

Spirit blows a raspberry as you give your smexy pal the ol' classic P.D.A. Your love is suddenly interrupted by three shrill gasps.

"O."

"M."

"C."

Behind you, to your absolute horror, is the shipmasters themselves, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, staring at you both in complete shock.

"Ok, so now you know." you wince. "Me and Starlight are a couple and are very much in love, right?"

"Eeyup." Star nods.

"Can you do the honors, pal?"

"Way ahead of you."

The Crusaders take an insanely deep breath just before a glowing pink dome quickly forms around the trio, completely silencing their ear-raping squees. In there, you see them backflip over each other, doing what you could only describe as the Ponish jig, all while bouncing around the dome like they're jacked up on sugar and possibly crack. After a few minutes, the three collapse atop one another struggling to catch their breath.

"Anything else you have to say?" Star asks.

"Congrats." Sweetie Belle wheezes before passing out.

"Thank you." you say, heading inside the house.

Inside, you find Applejack in the middle of the living room floor working on a simple, brown playpen.

"Hey, AJ." you greet. "Where'd you find that?"

"Oh, it's me and AppleBloom's ol' playpen." the farm pony states, putting the thing in place. "Got it outta storage and thought I'd set it up for ya."

"Looks a bit rickety." Starlight adds.

"Nah, it just needs a little weight to balance it, that's all. Put yer li'l youngin' in there, and it'll be just fine."

The little pen suddenly folds and slams shut like a bear trap with a loud SNAP, startling the three of you.

"Y-Yeah, I'm not so sure about that." you wince.

"Just needs to tight'n up a li'l bit more." AJ states. "Crib's upstairs. It's in better condition."

"That's good. Now, I just need some security."

"Why?" Star asks.

"W-What do you mean 'why'? What if someone tries to break in? I'll need a bat or something."

"You don't need a BAT for that." Starlight states. "There's hardly any robberies in Ponyville. And if there were, you can lure 'em into that playpen."

"It JUST needs to tight'n up a li'l more." AJ snorts, snapping the playpen open with extreme force. "I'mma head on out. You three take care now."

The farm pony grabs all her tools and heads out, chastising the unconscious Crusaders as she closes the door behind her.

"Don't worry, silly." Star says, giving you a playful shove. "Spirit's one tough kid. He'll be okay."

"I sure hope so."

"Only thing he has to worry about right now is the Sandmare."

There, next to the playpen, the little colt rubs his eyes and lets out a small yawn while attempting to keep himself balanced.

"Tired already, kid?" you ask.

The young colt reaches out for you as you wrap him up in his cozy purple baby blanket and carefully carry him upstairs. In his room is a nice cushy crib that doesn't look like a complete deathtrap and you lay him down easy.

"Sleep tight, little guy."

"Night night." Star coos.

"Nah nah." he yawns, curling up in his blanket and drifting off to sleep.

While you two sneak out, your pal gives you a sneaky look as you close the door.

"So..." you say. "What do you wanna do now?"

"There is.....one thing in mind." Star says seductively. "If you're UP for it."

"Oh, I'm UP for it."

Star leaps into your arms and plants kiss after kiss upon every inch of your face as you carry the beautiful mare towards the bedroom.

A little while later...

"Come on, Anon." Star whines. "Just ONE more go?"

"Glimmy, I can't go on much longer." you pant, falling to your side. "Too intense."

"Oh, you like it when it's tense. Come on, you might finish first this time."

With a deep sigh, you sit back up as the energetic unicorn's horn lights up. She gets herself warmed up before-

*TOSS*

She threw the dice and moves her dragon piece up six spaces.

"Yes! SCORE!" she quietly cheers in delight.

You are Anon.

And you're possibly gonna die a virgin.

THE END


Anon will return...

in smaller doses.