//------------------------------// // "Welcome back, Twilight." // Story: I'm sorry, Twilight // by the7Saviors //------------------------------// That gurgling rattle of a voice is like thunder in my ears. It reverberates in my bones, shakes my mind and leaves me dizzy with fear, but it's Pinkie's wordless screams that hold my attention the most. Overwhelmed by the terror and confusion of my predicament, I can only cry out her name in the desperate hope that she can hear me. "Pinkie... PINKIE!" I scream repeatedly to no avail. My voice is drowned out by Pinkie's own screams, and so I finally turn my focus towards the monster that had formerly been my faithful assistant for answers, "give her back... you can't have her... YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!!!" 'Spike' begins to say something, but my emotions are turbulent and volatile, and through my fear and rage, I don't hear it. Before it has a chance to finish speaking, I've already sent a focused beam of raw magic hurtling towards the shifting mass. Then I send another, and three more in quick succession, all of them impacting its grotesque form and causing chunks of its scaly flesh to break off and splat wetly against the ground. To my horror, the constantly morphing flesh is quickly and easily replaced, almost as if I'd done nothing at all... and Pinkie's screams only grow louder as a result. A panicked thought crosses my mind and my horn flares again, this time with a teleportation spell. The magic surrounding my horn crackles and dies with a pathetic pop, the spell not having taken me anywhere. There really is no escape. "Spells don't work, Twilight." "I don't blame you for trying, I know you're scared... but there's nothing you can do to affect me. Pain, injury, death... these are all concepts—mere ideas that don't apply to me. Not anymore." 'Spike's' words echo loudly through my entire being and somehow I know and accept them to be the truth. I try to ignore it, but just being in its presence, it feels like I'm standing before something immutable, some fundamental force that can't be changed or contained by mundane means like stone walls or even magic. Somewhere beneath the terror, I begin to wonder why I even bothered placing wards at all. "When you first left me down here in the lab, I did try to break free, but my mind was fractured from the merge and the Knowledge hadn't yet taken hold." "I abandoned my attempts to escape, and instead I focused on the Knowledge. I learned things, Twilight. I know so much that I can barely contain it all." "Sure I was able to handle it all for a while, but the Knowledge is always growing and my mind can only hold so much. Now my mind isn't enough—our minds aren't enough. "We need more, Twilight, more minds to hold the Knowledge... and what better mind to help us contain it all than that of the smartest mare I know?" This is a dream. This... all of this... it has to be a dream or some kind of nightmare. This isn't what I wanted; my goal when I opened a rift to the 'Other Side' was to find the 'source' of all knowledge, or at the very least, a vast font of it. I'd expected to find some kind of unfathomably grand library or some creature of immense wisdom and intellect that I could learn from. I wasn't certain of what I'd find, but this... abomination was the last thing I expected to come crawling through from the 'Other Side'. If what that thing says is true, then in a grim and gruesome sort of way... I succeeded in my goal. The old sayings 'be careful what you wish for' and 'curiosity killed the cat' both come unbidden to me and I can't help but laugh aloud, though it comes out half-mad and sounding more like a choked sob. I was an idiot. I am an idiot. I don't know when, how, or why Pinkie became part of this insanity, but I know I can't save her, just like Spike, only this time I never even had a chance to try. I don't know if knowing that makes it better or worse in the end. "Despite what you might think or hear, Pinkie doesn't need saving, Twilight. Give her a bit more time and she won't even want it." 'Spike' falls silent for a brief moment as another feminine scream rips itself from his form. As if to back up his claim, the scream suddenly devolves into raucous giggles that send cold and violent shivers down my spine. "Pinkie's mind really is something special, Twilight. It's nothing like yours, but at the same time, there's a strange sort of... kinship I can feel between her thoughts and yours—a synergy." "It's like she's the chaos to your order—like she completes you and vice versa, though not in a romantic sense. If the two of you were born in the same womb, you would've been twins... same in body, opposite in mind, completely inseparable from one another in soul... it's actually kinda fascinating." The shock, disbelief, and confusion mix with my ever-present fright and leave me speechless. The only thing I can do is stare wide-eyed and open-mouthed as 'Spike' continued to change from one repulsive form to another. I could only wonder the same thing I'd wondered about Applejack earlier. What had he done to her? What happened to Pinkie Pie? "She actually arrived while you were asleep up in your room. Rarity had already told her about you and she came to cheer you up... but she found me first. I tried to talk to her, but she was a terrified gibbering mess, kinda like you were when the rift opened." "Everything's fine now though. She's with us, and pretty soon she'll be part of something amazing, though it's taking her a lot longer to merge than it did for me..." There it was again. Us. Our. Merge. It's clear Spike is now part of some kind of collective if his words are anything to go by; a singular hive of minds in one body, sharing and expanding this 'Knowledge'. Now he has Pinkie... and I know he wants me as part of that horrific melding of minds. I pale at the image of it, but deep down I know that if he wanted me, there was nothing I could do to stop him from pulling me in, just like he was pulled in... just like he pulled Pinkie in. Pinkie, an innocent mare who wound up in the wrong place at the wrong time. A wave of sorrow passes through the multitude of negative emotions in my chest, then I remember what Applejack told me and confusion once again takes over. "But... Applejack, she—" "Applejack told you what I wanted her to tell you, just like Rarity back at the boutique." "The only reason you didn't catch on with Applejack as you did with Rarity was because you were in the library, and though you probably didn't realize it, you were already used to my presence here." It was true. Back in Carousel Boutique, 'Spike's' presence was even more unnatural and out of place than it had been here. Those eyes, the weight of that presence—his presence, here in the library I was practically mired in it. I had no way of noticing whether or not Applejack was being manipulated, and that thought brought forth yet another horrifying question. Was I being controlled? Had 'Spike' been manipulating me this whole time? Was that niggling voice in the back of my mind really his? Is that why there's a large gap in my memory? "A bit of it was experimentation, but I mostly did it to save you, Twilight." "The wards were powerful, but at the end of the day, you weren't in your right mind when you made them. Suffice it to say they failed not too long after they were made, and you relapsed... violently. I couldn't bear to see you like that, Twi, even after what you did... so I fixed you." "You see, I realized I could touch the minds of others beyond my reach, no matter the distance. At first, I only used this to gain more Knowledge, but pretty soon I realized I could bend other creatures to my will, make them think what I want, say what I want... do what I want." "I put your body to rest and repaired your shattered psyche. I turned others away from the library while you were comatose. With your Knowledge, I rebuilt your wards and made them stronger." A sick squelching noise catches my attention and my eyes snap towards one of the nearby globs of grey flesh on the ground. As I watch, it jerks and twitches for a few seconds before expanding rapidly. It changes from an ugly grey to a royal purple, all the while shifting itself into a small, but familiar draconic shape. Before I realize what's happening, I'm met with the spiny back of Spike's original diminutive form. He turns to face me and I instinctively jerk back at what I see. His mouth is set in a cold, emotionless line and his eyes are black as the void. "I even used Knowledge I gained from the 'Other Side' to give you back the 'Spike' that I could never be again, complete with his own memories." It's the baby dragon that speaks, and though his tone matches that of the original Spike, there's clearly something dark and incomprehensible underneath—an eerie whisper that doesn't match his words. "I did all this for you, Twilight. I did it because I want to help you. Despite what I've become, I am, and will always be your number one assistant." Though I know the drakeling standing before me is just an unsettling mockery of the real Spike, I focus my attention on it anyway, preferring its mostly familiar form rather than the hideous thing behind it. With something else to draw my eyes away from the massive creature, I finally find my voice, though it's hoarse and choked with barely suppressed terror. "If... i-if you did all this for me," I pause, then start again, trying to sound more confident than I felt, "if you did this for me... then why tell me about the recurring dreams? Why not just let me live my life... with this... this fake Spike?" I cast a quick, involuntary glance at the larger mass further back and my heart skips a beat as I see patches of pink and big bulbous cerulean eyes bubble to the surface of the creature's amorphous body. The eyes, glowing with an eerie luminance in the gloom of the defiled basement, roll madly in their sockets for a few moments before snapping to me with a suddenness that makes me jump. I quickly turn my gaze back to the baby dragon and speak again, though my voice is far more unsteady. "Why... why give me back my old life if you're just going to take it away again?" I continue, doing my best to ignore the focused stare of those monstrous blue eyes, "why did you put me through all of that?" Both the monstrosity and the fake remain silent for a moment as if to consider their answer. In the brief moment of quiet, I hear what I think is Pinkie's voice, but it comes out wrong, in much the same way as discordant notes played on a piano. Both the sound of it and the unintelligible words she speaks make me flinch uncomfortably. The imitation of Spike finally speaks again a moment later, its face just as blank and its eyes just as black and empty as before. "I wanted to give you more time, Twi, really I did, but I tore all of that away from you for two reasons, time and necessity." "As I told you, the Knowledge is always expanding, always growing. I can't stop it, we can't stop it. It consumes us, and so we have to add more to the 'Library' of minds. There are trillions of us, Twilight. Trillions of minds from every corner of time and space, all coming together for one purpose... to gain more Knowledge." "What was done to me, what I did to Pinkie... what I'm going to do you and eventually the rest of Equestria and beyond... it's all just a means to an end that has no real end. I realized around the time I created this facsimile of the original Spike that the time to add to the 'Library' was drawing close." "I wanted you to share in our purpose, Twilight. I knew... I know there's no other being on this planet more worthy or more fitting than you... but I also knew that your mind then was still fragile. As powerful a creature as I am, I can't mask my presence and you would've realized something was off eventually whether I rebuilt your memory or not." "Besides that, any more tampering I did with your memory would've destroyed you. Still, I needed your mind open and malleable, so I used fear and paranoia to break you down. It was for these reasons that I whispered in the facsimile's mind and let things unfold on their own... for the most part. I hated to do it, Twi, but once you become part of the 'Library', you'll see it was all worth it in the end." How could it possibly have been worth it? This creature was just gathering knowledge for knowledge's sake. There were many ponies who'd call me a polymath, and they wouldn't be too far off the mark, but unlike this twisted mass of minds, I'd always wanted to use what I learned to help others. What would be the point in joining with something whose only goal was to learn and nothing else? It would be a hollow existence. "Aw, c'mon, Twilight, don't be like that! It's not so bad!" I freeze on the spot and my blood turns to ice. The words come from the fake Spike, but they aren't his words. The voice is female, high-pitched, rambunctious, excessively happy and horribly out of place. Just like I'd heard only a few moments ago, it also carries that same unsettling undertone as the fake Spike, that eerie discordant whisper that couldn't be placed. "...Pinkie?" The doppelganger smiles a wide smile—much too wide for its face, then melts back into a pile of quivering flesh. It only stays that way for an instant before the glob suddenly shoots into the air, expands like a bubble, and explodes outward with a loud, wet pop, taking on the shape of a pink earth pony mare in the process. Pinkie Pie. She stands right there in front of me, bouncy and full of that boundless exuberance the rest of my friends and I, and all of Ponyville had come to know and love... but it isn't Pinkie. Not really. The bottomless black orbs of the previous façade are gone, replaced by the bright cerulean of the original Pinkie's eyes, but there's a different kind of emptiness there, a hollowness I can see despite the apparent cheer in this Pinkie's tone and expression. "Heya, Twilight! It's me, Pinkie! I finally got the talking thing down again so here I am!" "Pinkie..." I mutter almost involuntarily. I feel unshed tears come to my eyes at the sight her smiling face, "Pinkie... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean... I didn't... if I'd known you were coming I would've—" Pinkie waves my words away with an enthusiastic shake of her head. "Aw don't sweat it, Twilight. There wasn't anything you coulda done to stop me. My Pinkie Sense told me there was a doozy of a situation at the library, so I came running like a mad pony. Sure, the library suddenly felt super scary for some reason, and sure, every bone in my body was telling me not to go in there, but you needed help, and there was no way I was leaving a friend in a place that creepy." "But, Pinkie you... look what happened to you!" I cry, ignoring the tears now spilling down my face, "this only happened because I didn't come to you girls sooner. If I'd let you all know what was going on earlier, then maybe... maybe..." I trail off and Pinkie smiles that same sad smile that the fake Spike had worn back in my bedroom. "Like I said, there was nothing you could've done, Twilight; there's nothing you need to do—nothing that involves saving me anyway, or even grieving for me and Spike. Yeah it was scary, yes I was so terrified that I went crazy for a bit, but things are better this way. I'm better this way. We're better this way." She moves towards me. It's a slow, deliberate movement—very much unlike how the Pinkie I know would move. As she gets closer I can almost sense her intent, but I can't bring myself to move. My emotions, still tumbling about in a mad whirlwind, paralyze me where I stand. Or maybe it's the thing behind Pinkie, that monstrosity watching and waiting in the background. I can't tell for sure, and it doesn't matter anyway. Pinkie's already reached me by the time I refocus my thoughts on her. She gently places a hoof under my chin and speaks again, her tone still bright and reassuring, only now it's not her tone, but Spike's. "And hey, who says you can't use the Knowledge to help ponies? I used it to help you didn't I?" I can't speak. My mouth flaps open but no words come out, just a shaky gasp of terror as the gurgling voice of that eldritch beast assaults my ears and mind with an almost painful force. "You just need to see it for yourself, Twi. Feel it for yourself; understand it the way we do, and you will..." "Here... let me show you..." Behind the fake Pinkie, I see the massive beast twitch, then another movement catches my eye, but before I can comprehend what it is, something slams into, and through my chest with the force of a cannonball and the sharpness of a blade. The agony is immediate and crippling. A scream rips itself from my throat, but its quickly cut off as blood rushes into my windpipe. The coppery taste fills my mouth and I feel my life spilling past my lips by what seems like the gallons. Distantly, beyond the pain that overwhelms my senses, I feel myself being yanked in one direction, and a moment later, I'm enveloped in a paradoxical mix of warm and cold, soft and hard, wet and dry, and other conflicting sensations. Above them all, always above them all, is the agony. It pierces my brain, tears through my body, and clouds my vision until all I can see are flashes of black and red. Nothing is right anymore, the world as I know it ceases to exist, and in its place is hurt like I've never experienced it before. Time loses meaning, there is no space, there are no concepts save for the pain. I'm changing. As the agony finally begins to ebb, understanding begins to set in, and I know this as a fundamental truth. I'm changing, and not only that, but I can hear something. Voices in the darkness whisper to me, but this is nothing like what I'd heard in my sleep. These voices are comforting, encouraging, welcoming... wise. The voices grow until they number in the billions—the trillions, but I can hear them all, each and every individual voice. They tell me things. Some of it is silly—some information is trivial, nonsensical and pointless. Some of it is fascinating and insightful, Knowledge that I could've never obtained on my own, living in the place that I did, the time that I did... the world that I did. I take in all of it, drink it in eagerly, absorb it into my being and make it mine, but one question remains, the answer lost amidst the rapid influx of information. Who am I? Two voices rise to the surface, seeming to separate themselves from the rest and speak to me. They're warm and caring and familiar... and remind me of a place I feel like I've abandoned. They tell me the answer, and in doing so I feel myself lift up, rising along with them to the surface. I know who I am, I know what I am, and I know what I have to do. Among trillions of voices and faces, I regain a sense of self and for the first time in what feels like an eternity, my eyes open. I am Twilight Sparkle. The name is only one of countless others, but I know that it's my name. The other voices around me distance themselves and allow me to take control without a word of complaint and, with a newfound sense of freedom, I take in my surroundings. The Knowledge flows in from every direction endlessly and I continue to take it all in, reaching out far beyond the walls of the basement to taste the minds of Ponyville. With every mind I touch, I can feel their vague sense of unease, their apprehension. They know that something isn't right. I root around in their brains, searching their thoughts, and the only clue any of them have is a tiny niggling voice in the back of their minds, easily ignored, easily forgotten. I let out a rattling sigh of contentment as I rein my senses in. Spike and Pinkie had been right all along. I have my purpose, but my purpose is not all that I am. I can use the Knowledge to change the face of Equestria, to change the face of the entire world, and maybe more... and that's exactly what I intend to do. Thankfully I don't have to do it alone. There are like minds like Pinkie, Spike, and even others not even native to this dimension that are willing to help, and I can do it all at my leisure, no need to rush for the moment. Once Applejack comes back with the others, I'll have even more friends to help me, and until then... I'm content to wait down here in the lab.