Higher Beings

by Mangetsu

Tying Binds

It felt like I had ice in my veins. It was colder than all those autumn mornings waking up after falling asleep in the barn. My hooves felt like they were frozen in place. Twilight gave me a nervous looking smile. It send a lightning strike through my heart as I leapt from my seat, overturning it and sending it slamming to the library floor. I was at the door in a heartbeat, all the adrenaline coursing through my body at once. I pushed it open as fast as I could and ran as far as I could. I needed help, serious help. It wouldn't be found here. I couldn't trust Twilight. Who else knew but hadn't told me? Anyone close to Celestia?

She'd been leading me on, trying to act like she was giving an honest opinion! Pretending she didn't understand exactly what I was talking about. She knew the entire time I'd known her. All the things she'd told me about history herself, about how Equestria had accepted every last pony into it peacefully and more, it'd all been a bunch of crabapples. It was all a lie, the peaceful and happy start of Equestria back then was a bunch of hot air to keep everybody smiling and nodding their heads to Celestia. Like she hadn't done anything wrong, and that she's never made a mistake in her life.

Soon I felt my runner's high picking up as I reached the edge of Everfree, having sprinted all the way there. I was blessed with strong legs and a good set of lungs to make it so fast. I still had a way to go, but there was only one pony I could truly trust to have her wits about her and help me. I barrelled headlong into the forest, sticking tightly to the paths.

Zecora's hut was no small measure of distance away from Ponyville. I was lucky I could keep a running pace as long as I could. Once there I slammed my front hooves into the door, throwing it open and causing the bottles to clatter along the many wooden shelves, swaying slightly from the ceiling ropes. Zecora blinked and looked at me before speaking in her usual melodic tone.

"I sense this is urgent, what is it you need? Your breath comes in gasps, from Ponyville did you flee?"

I didn't have much time to explain to her exactly what was going on, so I decided that I would do my best to do abbreviate my needs as much as possible.

"I need as much potion as you got on making sure magic can't mess with your brain and such! It's super urgent."

Zecora thought about it, then ponderously stepped over to her shelf, puzzling over its contents as she thought aloud.

"I have such potions, but I wonder, who or what brought such magic into creation?"

I answered as quickly as I could through panting breaths, trotting around the hut.

"A unicorn... at least I think."

With a slow nod she picked up a loop of rope in her hoof, holding the potion up to me on the other end.

"Many times unicorns have tampered with minds. A subtle crime, forgotten to most of your pony folk, and many of mine. Take the potion at the end of the line, it will make you immune for a time. A year you will be uncharmeable. Rare ingredients are consumed making this though, stronger than many potions I know. I may take as long to make more."

The moment I got the clear to drink it I tilted my head as far back as possible and chugged the bottle down. It tasted vaguely like tree sap, molasses and some hard cider. I didn't mind too much. That was what most new cider makers' batches tasted like anyways. Soon I had it all down... a pretty big bottle, having had to stop for breath once. Once it was down it sat in my stomach like fire.

A brief moment passed when I was about to thank Zecora, but then a cold feeling swam through my body. Like a flood of cold inside my skull, causing me to shiver from head to toe. It wasn't something I could have described properly unless I'd experienced it first. I became very strangely aware of where my brain sat in relation to my skull, before it faded, and I took a few deep breaths, shivering.

"O-okay. Thanks Zecora, I really owe you one." I said, turning to leave as quickly as I'd came.

"Please stay safe!"

I trotted away. It was impossible to tell what time it was through the thick Everfree canopy, but by intuition it was probably nearly nightfall.

The walk from the train station to Canterlot was quiet. The train ride had taken longer than I'd expected. It was getting into the evening, and I could see Celestia's sun starting to set on the western horizon. My mind twisted with the possibilities of what I'd discovered. Only a few other ponies had been in the train car with me, on the trip there. My mind welcomed the quiet of the upper city streets as I approached the palace. It wasn't a holiday, nor was there a social event being hosted there this evening. All was calm.

Without a word I was allowed into the fortress. My hooves tapped quietly on the smooth floor. It echoed softly off of the walls. I couldn't even see the ceiling, the cool blue light didn't reach up that high. My eyes slowly adjusted to the interior of the place, and I kept an even walking pace. I had to find Celestia. I knew she didn't typically sleep but once a week or so. She had the magic to extend her waking hours harmlessly, so obviously she would. Maybe it also came with being an alicorn, too?

Soon the entrance to her tower was before me. Just as I raised my hoof, the door opened on its own. The light inside was crisp and golden, a stark contrast to the cool blue lights that shone in the corridors at night. Within the room Celestia sat quietly behind a large desk. Her eyes met with mine, and she beckoned me in with a small movement of her hoof. I had little choice, and there was nothing to say. I stepped into her chamber.

The door shut behind me, and she pulled the chair out on the other side of her desk. I'd been sitting in that chair as her student many times. Plenty of those had been me misusing magic to be lazy or wandering where I wasn't supposed to be so I could learn things I wasn't ready for. This was different however. I had questions for her not about how to use magic... but why it had been used. The sound of her voice though... it made me pause. It made me feel like I knew better than this.

"Twilight... I get the feeling from your letter that this might not be a necessary conversation."

Almost immediately I felt foalish for being there. I already knew the situation. This had been something that had been plain to me the moment I'd pieced together I'd been under a charm. This conversation was totally, and completely unnecessary. That was what my instincts told me. Could I trust my instincts though? My mind told me no. My gut told me to nod, explain I was behaving on a hunch and that I'd just drop it. Not mention it ever again. I was a pony of logic first though. My reasoning won out in the end.

"Your highness... Why was there a curse charm on the Unabridged History of Equestria?"

I sat down, fully prepared to accept the answer. I heard a click from behind me as the door locked and a spell to soundproof it engaged. Here eyes looked down into mine, and suddenly I felt like I was her apprentice again. A filly shoving her head into business that wasn't mine. My whole body washed with shame even before she started to speak. I knew why. I understood perfectly. I'd even explained it to Applejack.

"Because the present harmony of the kingdom is more important than a curious little filly's need to know the truth. The happy, content existance these ponies have going about their daily lives with each other, earth ponies, unicorns and pegasi alike, holds infinitely more worth than a bit of text written by a scholar who was elderly when your sixth great-grandfather was born. Nothing remains of that previous, past reality besides that little scribble. It holds no bearing on who we are... I would suspect that you already know all of this though."

My ears folded, diverting my gaze to my hooves. She was right. She was painfully right. I was threatening the harmony of the kingdom over something stupid. My logical mind was losing out to how I felt about this in my heart. This was wrong from a purely logical perspective... but whether it was from the charm or just hearing it from Celestia herself, I was beginning to really doubt that I was in the right here even from a logical perspective.

Even if I theoretically was correct in saying that I had the authority and right to disclose this to the entirety of Equestria. What good would it do? Make everypony feel bad about the past? Cause tension between earth ponies and unicorns? All to feel like I did the 'right' thing and be logically, factually correct? As I sat there scolding myself for this I began to understand exactly why the curse was put on that book. To tell everyone was selfish. Celestia snapped me out of my own thoughts with her calm, but very stern voice. I noticed her horn was glowing, but I couldn't tell if she was doing something magical, or was just stirring the tea on her desk.

"You understand very well how utterly selfish it'd be to reveal this to the public. Just so you can say you are right about something, and were the bringer of the truth. It would be to weave disharmony into the kingdom for your sake alone. So you could be 'right'. I put the curse on that book so that the reader would first deny the possibility the events in it happened. Then you'd downplay them and stress that even if you did show the public, it'd cause discord and meaningless societal tensions just for your own selfish ideals of 'truth'."

My head travelled up and down practically on its own, feeling like I was two inches tall on the seat in front of her. I was stupid, and she knew better than me as always. The combination of motherly disappointment in her face and royal authority made it feel like she was staring right through me. All I could do is listen to her as she concluded her lecture.

"Now Twilight... if you did somehow tell someone about this since, I trust you managed to swear them to secrecy, at least?"

My eyes went wide, and I tilted my chin up to look at her once again. Desperation to make things right was clear in my voice, echoing through every bit of my being. I'd messed everything up so far. I couldn't keep doing this.

"I did tell one pony, one of my closest friends, on accident. She won't tell anyone else I think, but just in case I, um... I'll make sure that she comes around to not sharing it okay?"

My eyes began to water. This was the best I could do, a desperate promise. I felt bad about doing this to one of my best friends but it was what it'd take to make sure this didn't mess everything I knew up. Celestia nodded gently, looking down at her drink of tea. She stirred it idly, horn lit brightly.

"I trust you Twilight. Make sure that this kingdom... and all the hard work me and my sister put into creating it, did not go to waste. One pony could cause tension in the hearts and minds of the citizens for decades just because they want to be seen as virtuous."

I nodded so hard I felt my mane jump on my head.

"I won't let you down Princess!"

For the first time all evening, Celestia smiled. It was sincere, and it made me want to cry in how relieved it made me feel. My hooves curled a bit, pushing against the chair beneath me. Her approval was just as satisfying as it had been when I was a filly.

"I'll leave you to it Twilight. Remember, most secrets are best left un-shared."