I'm sorry, Twilight

by the7Saviors

"Alright, now spill it."

I wilt under Applejack's stern glare, my ears flattening against my head. I'd known Applejack might think there was more to what I'd said, but I was hoping she'd trust me enough to leave things be. Apparently, I was expecting too much and now she was here in the library's main room, and she wanted answers.

Answers that I might not be able to give.

"Now ah don't wanna go placin' any blame or throw any accusations around willy-nilly," Applejack says. Her expression and tone soften somewhat, "ah don't know nearly enough about what's goin' on to do anythin' like that, but somethin' definitely smells rotten about all o' this."

She sweeps her eyes over the library's interior. Though there's all manner of objects, various books and knick-knacks on display, the place feels barren and the entire library is as silent as a grave. Applejack visibly shivers and turns back to me.

"This place is givin' me the willies," she mutters, "ah don't know how ya can stand it, bein' all alone like this," she focuses that intense gaze back on me, "this ain't right, Twilight. What the hay happened here? Rarity mentioned somethin' about you an' Spike havin' some kinda fallout, but she was a bit sparse on the details."

I stay silent for a second, wondering whether or not I should just tell her. It's not like I know much more than she does at this point.

"Luna!" I suddenly cry, remembering that I'd been waiting for her report on the 'cat' creature, "I can't believe I almost forgot!"

My outburst startles Applejack and she takes a step back, giving me a bewildered look.

"Luna?" she repeats, "the hay does Princess Luna have to do with all o' this?"

But I've stopped listening to Applejack all together. My mind goes back to the sound I'd heard just before I fled down the stairs in a panic, and I feel like an idiot once I realize what the sound actually was. Mentally cursing myself for the mindless fear of earlier, I wrap my horn in a magenta glow, but before I can teleport back up to my room, Applejack places a firm hoove on my shoulder.

"Twilight!" she growls. Her frustration dulls the country twang in her voice, "for buck's sake, slow down and tell me what you're on about, filly!"

I look at her and she glares back at me.

"I..." I begin, swallowing hard and craning my neck around to look back at my bedroom door at the top of the staircase. I feel Applejack press her hoof deeper into my shoulder and whip back around to face her again, words quickly spilling out of my mouth before I can stop them, "just give me a few minutes and I'll tell you everything I know, I promise."

Applejack opens her mouth, then shuts it again and silently searches my eyes for any kind of deceit. My eyes are wide with desperation and my body is itching with impatience, but I hold her gaze. I don't care whether or not she knows what I know anymore. I don't care if she ends up thinking I'm crazy when I mention the unseen gaze, the 'cat' in Spike's dreams, or whatever that was back at Rarity's boutique. The only thing that matters to me in that moment is the letter waiting for me back in my room. I'm not sure if Applejack is mistaking my desperation for earnestness, but evidently, she's satisfied by whatever she sees. She nods once, pulls her hoof from my shoulder and steps back.

"Alright, go on then," she finally says, her mouth set in a firm line, "do what ya gotta do, but ah'll be here, and ah'll be expectin' that explanation when yer done, ya hear me?"

"Yes, thank you, Applejack," I reply, letting out a quiet sigh of relief. I was prepared to Pinkie Promise if I had to, but apparently, that wasn't going to be necessary this time, "I just need to check something and I'll be right back down."

I finally unleash the teleportation spell I'd been holding onto and in a flash, I appear at my desk, right next to the overturned chair. Sure enough, I see a neatly rolled scroll sitting comfortably amidst the various clutter of books, inkwells, used quills, and stray parchment atop the desk. I take the scroll in my magic and practically tear it open before reading over it.

Twilight Sparkle,

I have done a thorough search of the Dream Realm and have encountered no such creature as the one you described in your letter. Furthermore, I cannot see the dreams of your dragon assistant nor can I sense his presence.

Wherever he is, either he is not asleep, or something has hidden both his and their own presence in the Dream Realm from me. While this is a troubling thought, and while I will continue to look into this situation further, I am afraid I can offer you no more aid at the moment without additional information. Until then, I have other duties I must return to.

I bid you good luck in your search, and may the Stars guide you and Spike safely through the night.

~Luna

My heart sinks like a stone into water.

I fall to my haunches, my legs numb with disbelief and eyes still glued to the now useless piece of parchment floating before me. I don't know how much time I spend sitting there staring at the letter, but eventually, I let it slip from my magical grasp and gently float to the floor. Unbidden, or perhaps out of habit, my mind runs through all the other options and solutions available to me, but the more I think, the harder it becomes to keep those thoughts in order. I grab onto one idea, only to have it scatter like leaves in the wind an instant later. It's the same with the next idea, then the next, and the next, and the next one after that.

I can't keep my focus.

My head starts to pound painfully, my body begins to tremble, I feel sick and it takes everything I have to keep the bile down. I try to control my breathing, but my breath comes out in short sporadic gasps. I feel light-headed and scared and I can feel that terrible gaze pressing in on all sides, weighing me down and making me fight for every bit of my sanity.

I want to scream—I need to scream, but I can't get enough air in my lungs to pull it off.

I want to run; I want to leave this place and never come back, but I can't focus enough to teleport and my legs refuse to budge.

It's like a dam burst somewhere inside me and I can feel myself being washed away. It's like I've lost all control—like all the fear, panic, anxiety, and stress I'd been building up for almost two weeks has suddenly been unleashed all at once.

I'm spiraling.

I can't think, I can't breathe, I can't take it anymore.

It needs to stop.

It all needs to stop, it has to, because if it doesn't... if it doesn't...

I seize up at the sudden sensation of a small, but warm embrace. Everything stops; the panic, the fear, the anxiety, the madness, all of it coalesces into one singular emotion as I slowly drag my teary, wide-eyed gaze to the little purple dragon hugging my lower half for all he's worth.

Utter shock.

"S... S-Spike?" I croak in a hoarse whisper, barely able to believe what I'm seeing, "you're back..."

He looks up at me with those large predatory green eyes and smiles a bright and reassuring smile. My heart melts at the sight and suddenly I feel like my whole world has realigned. Everything falls back into its proper place as I scoop the dragon up into my hooves and squeeze him tight.

"You're back..." I whisper again. Tears stream down my face and my voice is quiet, but thick with emotion. If anypony were to see me right now, it probably would've looked like I hadn't seen him in years, and to me, that's exactly what it feels like as I look into his eyes, "you came back, and I... there's so much I want to tell you..."

I put Spike down and he brushes himself off before placing a gentle claw on my leg. He continues to look at me with his warm and comforting smile as he speaks.