Entry 73
Alright. I... I'm better now.
I hate to admit it but Big Sis was right about one thing.
Ice cream really can soothe the nerves. I think... I don't want to admit it, but...
That was a mistake.
He was wheeled in... on a table. Tied down like a Winter cornucopia, Gag in his mouth.
He was really angry. You could see it. Somehow, I felt his anger directed towards me, and I don't know why.
It was... so fast. I barely had time to react. Even now as I try to remember it all I can see are brief glimpses of what had really happened.
Oh... oh Celestia... was this what it was like for you?
I... understand...
I know.
This... murdering pony... lay there. Struggling against his binds.
He was strong. He must have been. One of the chains got loose. I know not how. But he lunged from the table, tipping the whole thing over.
I screamed. I must have. Old Nightstick came in, I think I remember. I don't remember when.
I remember throwing things at him. I remember the candlestick on the fireplace. It was the first thing I saw and I just sent it at him. It knocked him on the head, and the blood... oh the blood was everywhere...
I hate it. I hate it so much. Celestia. I wish it could stop. Why can't it just be like it used to be? Why is our world filled with such violence and pain?
He still came for me, even then.
He crawled across the floor, dragging the table behind him.
I... did what I had to do.
What had to be done.
Is that... also what you did, Celestia?
I don't know what spell it was that I cast. I only know a searing white hot pain rising from my chest, like a burning metal poker had been pressed straight into my heart. The pain rose through me like on wings of fire, spreading heat and this tingling feeling all across and it just... exploded.
From my horn, across the room.
There was a flash of white. I couldn't see.
By the time it was over... half of the Pony was... it was just gone.
Oh Celestia, what have I done?
This is it, isn't it? This was it.
This is the feeling.
This has to end, and it has to end now.
I can't go on like this.
I just want us to be sisters again.
I will... take a break from this, I think...
A little bit of rest...
Maybe just a week or two off to get my nerves back.
But...
No more waiting.