//------------------------------//
// Frustrations 
// Story: Land of Equines 
// by Daddy Joe 
//------------------------------//

Frustrations
July 31st, 2014

I lied in my size-relative bed, lying on my side with my arms crossed and knees bent with the covers off. The summer night was not accompanied by a soothing breeze that would seep into my room, but warm and slightly humid. My skins tingled as tiny sweat droplets seeped from my pores in an effort to cool myself off. I couldn't really sleep well, not only because of the evening conditions, but mostly from dwelling on my behavior over the past few weeks, which occurred soon after Night Hunter died. Everything is fine between Twilight and I at that point, but the memories made me cringe at myself. This night was the last time I acted out on these somewhat involuntary outbursts. 

As I turned onto my back and lied spread out, my right arm draping over the side of the bed with my hand on the floor, I heard a scratching noise at my bedroom door; just four quick and gentle scratches. I rolled my eyes with annoyance before proceeding to close my eyes and sleep off the light taps. However, the request kept persisting and this prompted me to throw my legs over the side of the bed and stand up. 

When I walked over to the door, the scratches came to a halt and I opened the door. Standing on the other was Bridgette, looking up at me innocently with her tail steadily wagging from side to side. 

"No, Bridgette. I told you, not tonight. It's too hot. Go to sleep." I said, closing the door on the chocolate labrador.

Lying down on my bed once again, Bridgette began knocking on the door again, followed by a quiet whimper in hopes of cuddles, but I remained stubborn. My head felt hot as she continued, surging with the last bit of this unnecessary anger that seems to just manifest itself. I'm fully aware it happens to me, but haven't fully took consideration to it after this night. Shortly after, I had enough and stormed over to the door and swung it open to a patient Bridgette, just wanting to come in and sleep with me.

"Goooo!" I angrily demanded "Go lay down and go to sleep!"

Bridgette turned her head in the direction I was pointing and looked back me. She then proceeded to beg and sat down on the floor. To counter this, I swooped down and gave her shove on the side, sending her sliding on her paws. She looked confused to my action and walked back over to me, looking up once more.

"Listen to me! Go!" I hissed with more fiery anger.

I quickly crouched down, vigorously grabbed her by the collar, and delivered a quick, forceful punch. My knuckles impacted on her muzzle and close to her nose, causing her to uncomfortably sniff. I gave her another shove and let her free. Her ears were flat and her head was lowered as she trotted away from me and lied down at the end of the hallway, giving one more look before I closed the door.

"Dumbass dog." I grumbled, climbing back in bed.

While I lied prone, wrapping my arms around a pillow, the mysterious, influential anger started to subside. When it was all but gone, I was left with shameful remorse, causing me to sit on my bed. I reflected to myself on my actions, all just for getting Bridgette to leave me alone. It wasn't necessary at all and out of order, like my behavior over the past weeks. 

Changing my mind, I walked over to the door and paused there for a substantial amount of time. I knew Bridgette wasn't going to hate me and would be easily forgive me, but I felt bad for what I did and felt the need to not show my face to her. However, I did open the door and peeked over to Bridgette, who raised her head up.

"Wanna sleep with me? Come here. Come here, Bridgey." I playfully beckoned. 

Bridgette instantly stood up, did her little coyote trot into the bedroom, and leaped up onto my bed. She circled to find that perfect spot before plopping on her side, followed by a content sigh. After closing the door one more time, I walked over the bed and her tail wagged, bringing a warm feeling to my heart. She raised her right foreleg as a signal for wanting a tummy rub, so I followed through as part of my apology.

"Sorry, baby girl..... Sorry."

I rubbed her tummy for about a minute or so before she decided to lie on it. I then switched over to her ears and she let out a satisfied moan and closed her eyes.

"Yeah, you're a good girl." I said, tenderly rubbing the area where I struck her and planting kisses on the top of her head.

After enough pets, I went into my back position and closed my eyes to fall asleep. The last thing I remember before drifting off into a deep slumber was the feeling of Brigette's furry head nuzzling my abdomen before resting on it as her own pillow. I'd say that she was happy to know she was still loved by her owner. It's amazing how quick dogs are able to forgive.





I don't think I'll be able to sugarcoat this, not with the way my personality has been spiraling at complete random. As I mentioned, I've been having these borderline uncontrollable bursts of anger that usually happen whenever I feel the slightest bit of annoyance.

Twilight has been rather adamant on keeping calm about it and was pretty concerned about my mood swings. Her and I didn't even understand why I was acting this way. At first, she was assuming that I was upset that Night Hunter died, but confusion followed. In the beginning, there was one time where she actually got angry enough that she asked me to leave the castle until I thought over my, well, as I said before, behavior, but that was on July 13th. 

Aside from that one example with Bridgette, the rest of my outbursts haven't resulted in physical violence, just hostile in nature. There's usually a cause that triggers it or it can happen whenever I feel like it. For instance, I was walking through Ponyville on July 27th, and out the blue, I let out a snarl directed towards Time Turner as mean thoughts flooded in my head. Thankfully, it wasn't loud enough for the stallion's ears to pick up on and I quickly corrected myself, walking in a different direction. I was thinking, "Man, did I really just snarl at him? Hope nopony saw that." But like I said, the amount of outbursts has significantly gone down. I went nearly two days without a single outburst, so that is very good on my part. Tonight was the only day where I had one.

Although Twilight was unable to find out a plausible cause for my behavior, the only idea that came up was touching a rare plant called Fury Flora, I never considered it being The Figure's doing. My nightmares and hallucinations have ceased and I haven't felt its presence in quite some time. Perhaps it has moved on from me, or somepony else. I hate to think it, but better them than me. Either way, I'm literally restricted from speaking a word about The Figure or else ponies will die. I don't know wether if it was intended to scare me in order to prevent me from getting help, but I know for a fact that The Figure was responsible for Night Hunter's death and I can't take that risky assumption, especially when considering the rest of my friends and Bridgette. I can't afford to lose them like that.