//------------------------------// // A Horse Shoe-In // Story: Unpleasant Correspondence // by StormLuna //------------------------------// To Big Mac, Octavia, Time Turner and Spoiled Rich, Thank you for applying for the position of head mare but I am afraid that you simply don't have what it takes to help me run the school. I do hope you understand. Future Head Mare, Starlight Glimmer P.S. Time Turner, look I along with Starswirl the Bearded are the only ones who understand time travel. Simply sitting in a chair and waiting for a few seconds to pass does not constitute time travel. Time travel requires magic and I could travel back to the days of Ponyland and depose Queen Majesty in Dream Valley if I wanted.....oops, forget I said that, alright. Dear Starlight, Well ok but your students will never understand that life is a symphony. -- Octavia Eeyep. -- Big Mac Well then, I suppose your school will go bankrupt without my fund raising specialties. -- Spoiled Rich Wait a minute, YOU'RE the one that nearly destroyed the time continuum multiple times over with that spell and Twilight is putting you in charge? Well I suppose working with you isn't the best idea. To be honest, I'm surprised you didn't wind up in Tartarus for your crimes! -- Time Turner (aka Dr. Whooves) Dear Starlight, Trixie knows that she's not fit to be the vice-head mare but The Great and Powerful Trixie accepts the position of guidance counselor. Trixie knows that she gave you the advice to bring in Sunburst as the vice head mare but if you ever want there to be a chance of us getting married, you will not grow too close to him. Your Future Guidance Counselor, The Great and Powerful Trixie Dear Trixie, I'm glad you gave me the advice you did because now I'll be able to run the school with two of my friends! I'll get to run it with my bestie/soon to be wife along with my foalhood friend. I think things will be just fine. And don't worry about me growing close to Sunburst, you know I love you with all my heart and the very thoughts of a relationship with Sunburst is sickening. Your Future Boss and Wife, Starlight Glimmer Starlight Glimmer, First I would like to congratulate you on cementing your role as head mare of the friendship school once Twilight is allowed to come home and become her friends' permanent sex slave, I mean ruler of Equestria. I know you are nervous about all this but don't worry, I know you'll do fine. I am also glad to see that your sweetie will wind up being the guidance counselor. Given how she stood up for Gallus during that meeting with Grandpa Gruff, I know she is perfect for the job. I however, am not thrilled with your choice for vice head mare. I would love to know why you would hire somepony you can barely tolerate for the job. I know Trixie suggested him but still, that is one bit of bad advice she has give you. I do have my concerns about Sunbust or whatever the fuck his name is. I know how his type are. An ugly as fuck stallion who can't get a mare to save his soul being put in this situation is bad, very bad. I have my concerns that he may molest some of the female students.....well if he even gives one of them a seductive smile, we can just throw him in Tartarus, right? Wait a minute, I just realized something. The title of the position is head mare! Now that means for him to take the position, he will have to get a sex change operation. We certainly can't have a male holding that position now can we? Maybe this won't be so bad after all. I swear, having a surgeon lop his dick off is going to be hilarious! Also, we'll have to rip that ugly facial hair off of him too, no mare should ever have something that disgusting on her! Now good luck in your preparations for taking that place over. I know once you're running the show, it will be a much better place. Ready to See You Take Over, Princess Celestia Dear Princess Celestia, Thanks. I will admit I am very nervous about this but with Trixie by my side, I know everything will be fine. Regarding giving Sunbust or whatever a sex change operation, I think that is a spectacular idea. If we can turn him into a mare, maybe he won't be quite as much of an undesirable. Now yeah, Trixie is my true love and I want to be with her forever but with him/her, once we get the sex change operation done I think things will work out a lot better around here. And yes you are right about him and the students. I certainly don't want to see him molesting any of the female students since he is too pathetic to get any mares to like him. Even after the operation, if he flirts with any of the students, male or female, I say we throw him in Tartarus anyway. He could always have Cozy Glow's old cage. The world would be far better with him locked up anyway. Now I am elated that even though Twilight will be the ruler of Equestria, that she will still be her old friends' sex slave. I know how those four get when they don't get their Twily and I certainly don't want them being rough with me or Trixie. Sincerely, Starlight Glimmer Dear Starlight, Could I be the vice-vice head mare? I have a feeling you will need someplant waiting in the wings in the event Sunburst was to die in his sleep or someone was to poison him *wink!* Sincerely, Phyllis Phyllis, Of course you can be vice-vice head mare! I only hired Sunburst so that he will be forced to get a sex change operation or perhaps toss what would then be her into Tartarus if she engaged in any misconduct with the students, or anypony else for that matter. Besides, you'll be far better company anyway. Sincerely, Starlight Glimmer Dear Twilight, Once again I am questioning whether or not you are truly ready to take over. You were late for important training sessions TWICE. You know how much I hate tardiness don't you? Hell maybe I should strip you of your wings, your title, your school and your castle and give them to my daugh.... I mean Starlight. To top that off, maybe I should put you back in magic kindergarten while I'm at it. If you are late even one more time, I will do just that! So from this point forward be on time, alright. Hating Tardiness, Princess Celestia Dear Princess Celestia, Seriously, I am five minutes late for a couple of events and you want to give everything to your precious Starlight? You know what, why don't you just take your precious "daughter" up there with you and ascend her into a goddess of some sort or whatever grandiose plans I know you have for her. Just take her up there, give her her birthright authority or whatever and just let me continue to run my school. Besides, if I have all those responsibilities of being you, how the hell am I supposed to horn rape Rarity on a regular basis? Knowing Starlight is Likely Your Daughter, Princess Twilight Sparkle Dear Starlight, I am so glad that you gave me the job of vice head mare! Now we can hang out more and play plenty of Dragon Pit! I look forward to us growing close again like we were when we were foals. Sincerely, Sunburst Sunbust or whatever your name is, Look, I am a busy mare and I am not going to have time to spend with you. Being the head mare comes with a lot of responsibilities and you know Trixie and I do have our time together. Also, I do have to make time for Trixie and I to go visit Twilight's Canterlot friends because we do have regularly scheduled orgies, orgies that I do not want to miss! I will tolerate your presence but nothing more. Merely Tolerating You, Future Head Mare Starlight Glimmer P.S. If you want somepony to spend time with so bad why don't you go after that guard Twilight hates so much? From what I understand he does like you. I know if you give him a chance you two will bond in ways that most stallions don't. Dear Starlight, For the last time, I am not a damn colt-cuddler! Sincerely, Sunburst