//------------------------------// // Death Of A Story // Story: A Stupid Answer // by Frazzle2Dazzle //------------------------------// Discord was outside the building the stage was in, nailing boards over the doors and windows with a small smirk on his face. The boards were, of course, multicolored. A small group of ponies had started to arrive, but stopped at the entrance, confused by this turn of events. Eventually, a green earth pony stallion with a blue mane and tail walked up to Discord, swallowing down his nervousness. “Uh, excuse me, Discord?” With a yelp of surprise, Discord’s hammer swing missed by an inch and landed on his thumb. “SON OF AN ASTERISK’S HASHTAG!” He yelled out, the offending thumb now twice the size it was before, though with a snap of the claws on his other hand, it returned to normal. “WHAT?!” He snapped at the pony. Said pony shrank a bit into his coat, flinching away from Discord before steeling his nerves and looking back up. “W- Well, I, ah, just wanted to know why you’re, uh, you know, boarding up the building...?” He mumbled out. “Oh, that? The show’s cancelled, that’s why.” “Wait... What? Why?” “The editor in chief, Mr. Frazzle T. Dazzle, decided that this show wasn’t going anywhere.” Discord turned back to the building, now stapling the boards into the building. “But what about the letters from last week?” A purple Pegasus mare called out. “That’s what I’m here for, silly!” The mare yelped in surprise as Pinkie Pie popped out of... Somewhere, right behind her. “Prepare to have your questions answered!” She proclaimed, raising the holy Mailmare bag. The crowd just shrugged and stood where they were, waiting for Pinkie to start speaking. “Without further ado, I’m going to GIVE A STUPID ANSWER~!” Pinkie stuck a hoof into the bag for only a moment before pulling out a light purple envelope, quickly opening it. “A letter from ‘Superfun’! ‘Dear Pinkie Pie and Discord, does Rainbow Dash get along with her G3 self?’” Pinkie blankly stared at the letter for a few moments. “...No, she does not.” Pinkie tossed the letter into a shredder, which had somehow appeared while she was talking. “Next!” Pinkie brought a picnic table over and dumped the letters out of the bag and onto it. There were only four letters left. Picking a white letter out, she quickly opened it. “Ooh, a letter from ‘Vinyl Scratch’! ‘Dear Discord and Pinkie Pie, do you prefer Techno or Classical music.’ Good question, Vinyl! Truth is, I love them both so much I just wish there was a way to merge them into a recees candy of musical perfection!” Nopony noticed the mare with a white coat and blue mane quickly leave, a thoughtful look on her face. “Of course, that won’t exist for three more weeks, so... TECHNO!” With a twist of her hoof, she flipped the letter into the shredder. “Next!” Pinkie grabbed a green envelope next. “A letter from ‘Fetch’! ‘Dear Pinkie Pie, are you related to Surprise? She's one of the Wonderbolts, btw. Not your many-times-great-grandmare who went on some crazy adventures.’ Oh, you mean my third cousin, twice removed, on my father’s side?” Pinkie grinned. “Oh yeah, we’re related!” Some of the fans of the Wonderbolts in the crowd couldn’t help but look at Surprise’s stunts in a new light. “Next question from Fetch, ‘Dear Disqord, do you prefer coffee or tea?’” “Tea.” The ponies in the crowd flinched in surprise at Discord’s sudden appearance behind them. “What can I say,” He said, floating over to sit up above Pinkie Pie. “Teapots are cool.” “Yupperdoodle they are!” Pinkie tossed the letter into the shredder. “Next!” Discord snatched a yellow envelope off the table. “A letter from a ‘Socially Awkward Brony’. *Ahem* ‘Dear Discord and Pinkie Pie, how often does Discord run into trolls online?’ Oh, plenty. Of course, their skills pale in comparison to my bridge-troll experience!” “Eeyup! He spent two years in Trollington Park Community College studying up on it before Trolling the school to a Troll treck trampoline Troll track.” At the blank stares she received, Pinkie just shrugged. “He’s a very good Troll.” Discord shoved the letter into the shedder. Said shedder growled at him, barking like the dog it was before Discord gave it a rubber bone, shutting the dog up. “Next!” Pinkie picked up the last envelope, a blue one with metal studs on it. “Ooh! It’s a letter from the editor!” “What’s Frazzle asking?” “Not asking, saying! ‘Dear Pinkie Pie and Discord, please tell the ponies of the final show ‘Thank you’ for sticking around this long. Sincerely, Frazzle T. Dazzle.’ Well that’s nice of him!” Discord leaned down to look at it. “‘P.S., this story will self destruct in five seconds.’” Discord and Pinkie stared blankly for a moment. “Wait, wha- Taking a hoof off the big red button, Frazzle looked across his desk to the human sitting on the other side. “You have what you need?” The human nodded, silent as death. “Good. Now go start the preparations. We mustn’t dally and keep Conflict waiting.” With not a sound, the human faded to dust, disappearing away from the room as Frazzle turned to a book sitting open on his desk, closing it gently. “Another day...” He pulled a blue envelope with metal studs on it out of his desk. “Another Story...”