//------------------------------// // Rad: Underground Overtime // Story: Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1) // by Barrobroadcaster //------------------------------// Rarity, Doctor Whooves and their Imperial associates ran by the concessions stand three times before Dan and the others noticed. Then, they ran around twice more before Dan did anything about it. Cap and Chris tried to do something the moment they noticed, but Dan wanted to stop and evaluate the situation before intervening. For safety. And because he found watching them to be kind of funny. But also for safety. Dan walked out into the center of the path. He knelt down, placed both palms on the dirt and felt the land. Eyes narrow, he then picked up a pinch of the dirt and held it in front of him, the grains slowly falling to the ground. "What is he do-" "Shhhhh," Phoenix said, shushing Chris. "We're watching the master at work." Dan stared off in some random direction, as if searching for something on the horizon, even though they were deep underground. Satisfied, he nodded to himself. He then placed a single ice cube on the ground and stepped back. Rarity and Doctor Whooves came running by first. Following closely behind, the two stormtroopers and Imperial officer Dan did not recognize. Finally, charging like a locomotive was the mutated Tuxley. And it was Tuxley who slipped on the ice cube. "Grrreee-hmmmmmnnmg." The dinosaur groaned. He slipped and then slid, catching his balance but for a moment. Then, his grace failed him and the heft of his torso pulled him down and into the dirt face-first. Dan then tossed a bucket of water on him. "And once more, we walk the dinosaur. Thanks everybody, I'll be here all week or whatever measure of time can be assessed since the world ended. Tip the help," Dan announced. Cap, Chris and Phoenix all joined Dan, watching Tux morph back to normal as they approached. Phoenix even applauded. "That's our guy! That's our guy, right there! What did I tell you? Master if ever there was one." (Master of Disaster, usually, but I guess that includes natural disasters, too? Eh, I'll go with it.) Chris, arms folded, gave a slight huff. "Well, that was about the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Definitely the dumbest way to take down a B.O.W. Heh," he grinned, "Nice job, Dan." "Thank you, Chris. See? You would've just shot him, wouldn't you?" Chris nodded. "Yeah. I'll admit that." "Tux seems like he's coming around," Cap said. "But what about the others?" Dan checked his wrist, even though he wasn't wearing a watch. "Oh, they should be back around in about two minutes." "Should I get more ice?" Chris asked with a smirk. "No, Chris, no. That wouldn't help," Dan said. "Hey- I was joking." "It's alright," Dan said, patting him on his shoulder as he walked by. "Nicky's jokes sucked, too at first." Smiling, Phoenix threw an arm around Chris Redfield buddy-buddy style. "Think about it, Chris. Soon, you'll be up to my level. And I had to work for a whole year to get where I am now." "So, one day, I can aspire to be as dorky and ridiculous as you, Nick?" "If you're lucky," the lawyer said. Chris sighed, his limbs suddenly feeling heavy. "I didn't come here with expectations, but you have found a way to disappoint me anyway. Great job." "We like to keep the bar low," Cap added. "At least, that way, everyone can join our team." "Can't get much lower than this, that's for sure." "It can always get lower, Chris!" Dan shouted from behind the concession stand. "Help me stuff hot dogs into my pants! We're taking all they've got!" After Dan was done looting the snack bar, the group had yet another happy reunion. "I dare say, this is becoming all too common place for us," Tuxley said. "MMmmm-hmmm," they all went. "We're just happy to have you back, Sir Tux," Phoenix remarked. Tux looked around. "Errmm, where, may I ask, is Sir Reginald?" After going back to the museum and reviving Sir Reginald, the group had yet another happy reunion, take two. "Okay, so, we've seen this pinkish gooey crap everywhere," Dan said. "Obviously, Dipshit Vice Grip is using it to brainwash, mutate and transform our friends." "We've seen it before. It was- eeeuuggh, at that day spa, of all places," Rarity said, remembering back. "I thought it was just shampoo at the time, but it seems to have more magical properties than we first realized." "It's some sort of proto-magic," Phoenix explained. "Flim and Flam made some super sticky gum out of it, there were tubes full of it in the underground factory, the Director and Vice Grip must be using it for all sorts of things. Evil things." "Things that will inevitably piss me off," Dan remarked. "Apparently, it can affect your brain if it gets on your head, so watch out." "We should get a sample of it," Chris Redfield said. All of them looked over at him as he sat, arms crossed in front of him. Dan shook his head. "We tried that. It evaporates too fast and you can't get it wet." Chris thought. "Have you tried freezing it?" Everyone turned to Dan. The human shifted his head. "No. But we can't exactly carry around a refrigerator with us." "I might be able to help," Tux said. From his returned-to-usual coat pocket(his clothes were in the museum), he produced an aluminum cylinder. "Shaving cream?" Cap asked. "Heh. Okay, not bad," Chris said. "Oh, I get it," Dan said, nodding. "What do I get, Nicky?" Tux grinned. "Come now, gentlemen, you do recall I own a museum dedicated to such items, do you not?" "A museum or a Jurassic Park?" Chris asked. And half the group laughed. So Chris's jokes were already starting to get better. Reginald shrugged. "He does have us there, sir." "Touche, Mr. Redfield. But Sir Dan, with this device, we may obtain and freeze a sample of the substance for examination," Tux said, holding up the Barbasol shaving cream can. "First things first, we find Twilight and the others," Dan announced. "And first-er than that, we find a way out of here." Doctor Whooves stopped in front of them, panting. "I've been running this entire time! Why didn't any of you say anything?!?!" "We didn't feel like interrupting," Dan said. "Oh you fucking piss-take." Whooves collapsed. Dan got up. "Right. Uh, somebody wanna carry him? Anyway, we're getting out of here, so grab a hot dog while you still can." "Where exactly is the exit, Dan?" "Well, if there's a museum, there's only one exit, Nicky- through the gift shop."