//------------------------------// // displacement and sailors: And we have Dagmire’s neutral special “GUN” // Story: Dagmire the discorded goes to Equestria // by Theboxcatgamr //------------------------------// Unknown location 12:23 pm Dumbbell was sitting on a haystack watching over his captive and waiting for the small griffin to awaken The small bird slowly got up and took a look around his environment only to find he was quite literally inside a bird cage “So you finally woke up.” “Where am I?” Ludwig asked “...” Dumbbell gave a smile that unnerved the small griffin “Oh we are going to have a lot of fun little colt” “I don’t think you know what fun is” Ludwig said noticing something shift in the haystack the pony was sitting on “Oh you’ll see soon enough...” dumbbell said as he stomped the uncomfortable hay “Hey. Do you know how to find a needle in a haystack?” Ludwig asked “What?” “You bring a magnet” Stella answered as she dispelled the disguise and broke the birdcage she was trapped in “WHAT THE BUCK?!” Dumbbell screamed as something hit him in the back of the head He collapsed and Stella moved the hay away to expose another birdcage this time with the real Ludwig inside “Nice job! You did your part perfect Ludwig” Stella said praising the young griffin “I’m just glad this is all over. Can I go home now?” Ludwig asked hopefully “Yeah. This should only take a minute” One minute later “Ok so I might have overestimated my skills a bit” Stella said chained to the cold stone wall “Why are they keeping me in a rusty old bird cage anyway?” Ludwig asked “Quiet inmate!” A guard said from under her hood “This May take awhile” Stella said “Dagmire another one of those token things are acting up again. This time it’s someone looking for something to fight” Clearance called out from the back of the band wagon “NOW IS NOT THE TIME, GIVE IT TO THE UP DOG BY THE CACTUS!” Dagmire shouted as a whip struck his back causing him to rush even faster “What’s a cactus?” Clearance asked “PLANT” Dagmire screamed Clearance shrugged and tossed the ribbon onto the potted cactus. The cactus grew three times its regular size and leapt off the wagon as it summoned the displaced “Are you really sure this is the fastest way?” Gilda asked flying along side the wagon “It is not. But we need a safe place to hide should things go sideways” Dagmire said as he moved a large pole into the sky “Where did you even get this thing?” Gilda asked looking at an old faded logo on the side “It was my fathers. Now could you go and place this picture of an angry cat at the top of the pole?” Dagmire asked as the cart started shaking Gilda did as Dagmire asked as she was used to his unconventional methods “It’s all set!” Gilda shouted “Good! Now get inside the wagon. Clearance call Thor then get inside!” Clearance took out an old ox horn and blew it loudly before his hasty retreat “HEY PRICK! IM CALLING YOUR TAB!” Dagmire said as lightning struck the pole he was holding Dagmire stuck the poll on the front of the wagon and pulled the Changling’s driving the wagon inside. “STOP EVILDOERS!” A squeaky voice screamed from behind “NOW ISINT A GOOD TIME!” Dagmire shouted to the lightly dressed teen “I stopped your evil cactus monster from ravaging the town and now I’m here to stop you! “...Clearance why is a high schooler chasing us?” “TRANSFORM!” The teen shouted as rainbows engulfed her form “...what the actual fuck is happening here?” Dagmire asked as suddenly the teen turned into a semi lewd girl in blinding light than into a superhero “Sailor moon ready!” “I bet you don’t even have a boating license” Dagmire quipped Sailor moon blasted Dagmire off the wagon with a strange projectile from a hair pin and prepared to stop the crazy contraption in its tracks when she heard laughter and the sounds of a chainsaw. It was Dagmire using a chainsaw as a unicycle to catch up. Dagmire tried to jump from the tool to the wagon but a stray projectile from sailor moons wild firing knocked Dagmire back on to the chainsaw causing the device to break and leave Dagmire in the dust. “Ok. Now this is the end for you evildoers!” She shouted as she rushed the wagon only to be electrocuted This gave Dagmire the opportunity he needed to catch up, he pulled out his scythe and tied a ribbon that had fallen from sailor moon to his tool and hand and threw the tool backwards. “BOOMERANG!” Dagmire shouted as the scythe suddenly began spinning wildly and flying back in the direction of the wagon Sailor moon saw Dagmire again and since he was being spun around wildly she couldn’t hit with her projectiles, she decided to try a physical attack on the jester as he got close “SAILOR MOON KICK!” She screamed as her leg made its mark, the force of the kick caused Dagmire to rebound and strike sailor moon in the back while going in the opposite direction! The scythe found its target and embedded itself into the wagon with Dagmire still attached, Before sailor moon could do anything Dagmire yanked the ribbon and vaulted back onto the wagon. “DAGMIRE WE ARE APPROACHING THE TOWER!” One of the Changling’s said “BRACE YOURSELVES!” Dagmire shouted “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!” Sailor moon demanded “THEY HAVE MY SON YOU IDIOT!” Dagmire shouted as the wagon approached the stone tower On a dime the wagon stopped and a strange electric outline of the wagon kept charging with Dagmire riding “LIGHTNING CHARIOT BITCHES!” Dagmire screamed as the outline smashed through the wall leaving a massive hole Sailor moon just looked at the hole and was alarmed when Dagmire exited with a book “...your contract is complete. Now get the fuck off my planet” Dagmire said causing the displaced to drop through a convenient portal “What’s that you are reading?” Clearance asked “It’s a rule book for displacing. It says here that once a contract is completed the summon is returned home” “Isn’t that kinda meta?” Clearance asked “As long as I manage to get the story rolling I can do whatever the fuck I want. Now let’s save my son” Dagmire said as he led the charge into the tower