//------------------------------// // Chapter 16 - That Thing Humans in Equestria Do...a lot // Story: Into the Rift // by DiscordsAdvocate //------------------------------// Tycho sat in the sleigh as the pegasi transported the entourage of ponies, changeling (only known by all but Erebus and Tycho), and humans. Tycho was quite silent, with the others conversing as if the recent near-death experience was an everyday occurrence, which didn’t make Tycho more comfortable. Tycho reflected on the fact he was nearly buried under tons of rock. Yet somehow he accomplished a complex scientific task. His hands were shaking and his knees felt weak. He hadn’t felt something like this since he first biked down the mountain behind Daniel Kish. Scariest moment of his life, but this? What was he thinking, he thought to himself? Going into a cave dug by savages?! His thought process was broken by a tap on his shoulder by what felt like a  leathery wing-like appendage. “What?” Tycho snapped to Erebus. “Teeko. I am curious what you are planning to use those for.” Erebus inquired, seemingly unaware of Tycho’s inner turmoil. Tycho took a deep breath, shutting his eyes repressing himself, regaining some form of composure, then explained: “Lots of uses. You ponies use primal magic energy as the primer for enchantment. Just one bead of mana will eliminate the need for Twilight to provide the juice for future work for a long time.” Tycho explained. Erebus nodded. “Shouldn’t you study these first? You can write half a library of research about mana.” Tycho: “Twilight will be doing that. I’m more interested in using it. You wanna help?” Erebus sighed as her ears turned back slightly. “I wish I could. But I have another research excursion to finish.” “Where are you going?” Tycho asked with curiosity. Nightshade sat in silence for a while before finally answering. “I’m afraid that is top secret. Sorry Tycho.” “And you asked him out on a date the day before our mission.” Erebus deadpanned. “We have to spend the night before going anyways!” Shade retorted. As the two mares began another session of harmless arguing, Alex leaned toward Tycho. “What have you been working on?” Tycho hesitated to answer. He preferred not to reveal anything. “I’m bringing CERN to Equestria.” Matt turned and stared. “You did not build a particle accelerator in a few weeks.” Tycho rolled his eyes. “Of course not, man. I took the prototype design for the magnetic accelerator and applied the theory to magic particles. And thanks to magic, I can accomplish the same effect with a much smaller device.” Alex couldn’t hold back his smile. “How small?” Tycho leaned forward and gestured for Matt and Alex to huddle. As they got close, Alex said under his breath. “Can fit in a two-door garage.” Tycho leaned back in his chair, leaving the two humans agape. “And when it’s built, we’ll be unlocking more secrets of magic that no wizard ever could.” That caught Erebus and Shade’s attention and ended their disagreement.  “I didn’t hear all of that, but that is a high claim. The ministry will be very interested.” Erebus smiled. “You are officially getting my voucher and personal recommendation with a detailed explanation of what happened today, Dr. Hernandez. I’ll make sure Archanis will see the light. Don’t worry.” “Good, now on more important matters.” Nightshade leaned in close to Tycho with a naughty grin. Tycho could feel Shade near him. So this pony is interested in me as more than just a friend. He didn’t know what to do about this. An alien of a very different species liked him in that way? He thought she was just a very forward friend. But going on a date? Is she serious about this? He hadn’t been on a date in a while since working for CERN. Plus it's hard to pursue a relationship when you can’t see. And yet, here it was happening, a lady, mare, female, with a sexy voice is asking him out. So, accept or turn down? He promised he owed her and it would be a dick move to turn her down. Fuck it, it's just a date anyways. “You really sure about this, Nightshade?” Tycho asked nervously. Shade smiled and put a hoof softly on his hand. “Relax. Not asking for your engagement. Just for a fun evening.” Tycho took another deep breath. He hadn’t had fun for a while, in fact. Okay, he thought to himself. They might be different species, but they are civilized adults and maybe an evening loosening up will ease his stress. “Okay, Shade. What do you want to do?” Everyone on the sleigh but Erebus looked surprised at Tycho. Alex smiled but said nothing. Matthew leaned in so Alex could hear and whispered something like ‘that didn’t take long.’ Emerald said nothing but listened intently.  Shade cocked her head with a smile. “Well, how about we eat somewhere nice?” Tycho nodded.“Sounds good. Where do I meet you?” Tycho hoped Shade knew a place. Shade thought a moment. Now that is a good question. She lives in Canterlot but Tycho lives in Ponyville. He doesn’t know Canterlot and showing him would be nice but he can’t see. So, better to start with something at his new home. He is a vegetarian, so may as well go to a pony-run place. “How about the Hay Bale?” The other two humans recoiled a bit upon hearing the name. Tycho nodded. He liked that place. “Great. Will meet you there.” Shade smiled. “You sure? We can go somewhere else.” Tycho shook his head. “No, I like the food there. It's fine.” “Okay,” Shade then leaned closer and whispered. “And if you’re a good boy, we can have some extra fun after the meal.” Tycho would be sweating if not for the cool chill from being up high. He would not consent to that! “Trying a little too hard.” Tycho heard Erebus mutter under her breath, probably with an eye roll. Shade heard but paid it no heed. A little playful teasing wouldn’t do any harm. “So when do we meet?” Tycho asked fighting to keep his composure. “Tonight for dinner?” Nightshade offered. Tycho nodded. “Okay. Will meet you there.” Shade hopped from her seat in excitement, releasing a quick happy winny, but was briefly caught by the wind and knocked into Alex. “Ack!” Alex caught Shade on the back and placed her back down. “Careful!” Erebus made a strange bat-like noise of annoyance. “Will you stop risking your life?!” Shade snorted. “Kinda my job to take risks!” “Settle down, Captain.” Tycho replied as he booped Nightshade on the nose. Alabaster’s nose scrunched when the finger made contact. She shook her head and wiggled her nose back to normal. “W-w-what was that?” Erebus giggled. “He booped you!” “I what?” Tycho asked. Alex chuckled. “Congrats Tycho. You just discovered the third weakness of a pony. First is ear scratches. Second is bellyrubs.” “And the nose?” The tall human inquired. “Don’t boop the snoot!” Matthew shouted, getting a chuckle out of everyone but Tycho, who sat unamused. “As you can see Nightshade has completely lost her composure and her muzzle will forever be etched in a scrunch.” Erebus explained in a scholarly tone, but with a hint of teasing. “Huh?!” Tycho responded. “Oh no!” Shade feinted despondency. “How will I ever look in a mirror? Tycho how could you?” She leaned against Tycho’s side dramatically. “Oh stop it.” Tycho groaned. The rest of the trip was uneventful before they had landed. Most of the group separated while Tycho, Erebus, and Nightshade went to Twilight’s. “Did I tell you how me and Erebus met?” Nightshade asked Tycho as he and the other two ponies helped bring the equipment on their way to the library. “I got a rather novel account from Erebus.” Tycho smiled.  Erebus smiled. “Told him how you helped me after the incident, and we’ve been best friends ever since.”  Shade smiled. “Yep. I couldn’t ask for a better mare to remind me where I stand, or correct me when make assumptions.”  “Uh, Erebus. What do you look like? I’m sure others have told you at least.” Tycho inquired. “I’m told that I am ivory furred; red-pink-ish eyes and white mane and tail.” Erebus answered. “Also, very skinny.” Erebus said bemused. “Slender. She is very slender.” Shade corrected. “Sickly, like-” Erebus tried to dismiss Shade’s compliment before Shade juxtaposed. “Honey, I have said many times you aren’t bad looking. You are unique and there are stallions that go for that sort of thing.” Shade commented. Erebus sighed. “So you have said many times.” “Besides you are adorable.” Shade followed. Erebus’s ears lifted. “In what context?” “Your fur is more silky so you are fun to cuddle. Here, don’t take my word for it. Rub your hands in her coat, Tycho.” Tycho’s hand was forcibly placed in Erebus’ mane. She didn’t object, so his fingers started to work the fur. Shade wasn’t kidding, it was like petting a cotton ball. Tycho withdrew his hand, not wanting to push it. “Also when you sleep you are very blissful and make filly-like snoring noises.” Shade continued as Erebus deadpanned annoyed. “And you make these cute noises when I nibbled below your ears-” Her mouth was suddenly blocked by an ivory hoof. “No.” Erebus cut her off sternly. Tycho chose not to ask what was that about. “You keep Erebus’s spirits up.” Tycho said. Shade freed her mouth and cleaned it with one hoof. “See? He understands me!” Shade giggled.  “Yes, and now he knows your tendency to talk too much.” Erebus looked in her direction sternly; her shadow nodded in agreement. “Well as long as it isn’t mean spirited, I can tolerate that.” Tycho continued walking, using the writing on the signs of shops he passed to know which direction he was going. “Well, there is something more we have in common, friend.” Erebus trotted beside Tycho as they neared the library. “You should hear about the silly things she assumed about humans.” “Oh? Do tell.” The tall human replied. Shade trotted on his other side, groaning. “Oh good, you are bonding based on my flaws. Why didn’t I think of that earlier?”  With a spoonful of peanut-butter in her mouth, Erebus sat on the couch as Twilight gazed at the container’s luminous contents. “This is amazing! Four samples in stable condition.” Twilight’s smile could break her face. Tycho lay back as Shade came from the kitchen with a tray of tea and biscuits. “By the way, Erebus. What did you tap me with, earlier?” Erebus cocked her head. “What do you mean.” She removed the spoon from her mouth with her shadowy magic. “I felt something finger-like tap me on the shoulder.” Tycho explained. “Was that you?” “Oh!” Erebus spread her bat-like wings. She trotted closer to Tycho and picked up a tea-cup with her left wing thumb. “See, Teeko,” Erebus said in her accent. Tycho could swear Erebus had a voice as silky as Nightshade’s, only Slovakian-like. “Have you heard about Thestrals?” Tycho thought for a moment. He heard that name before. “Some kind of mythical horse?” “Ketch ketch ketch,” Erebus laughed. “Well I am a pony, but the term most would be familiar with is bat-pony.”  Tychos stared in bewilderment then looked in the direction of Nightshade. “What?” Shade clarified, “Erebus is of a race of ponies created by Luna over a thousand years ago. Or so the legend says.” “How does that work-wait no no no, I know what the answer is.” Tycho shook his head. Erebus smiled. “I am a unique member of my species. As I have a horn like unicorns do.” “So...was one of your family members a unicorn?” Tycho asked. “That’s…” Erebus could sense Nightshade rapidly shaking her head at Erebus, “A very long story. What you need to know is that we’re like pegasi but with bat-like wings. Here,” She extended her free wing while taking another sip of tea. “Feel it?” Tycho carefully touched the wing. “Leathery.” “Yep. And if you notice my ears are fluffier than most pegasi.” Erebus leaned in to give Tycho a chance to touch. Tycho softly stroked Erebus’s ear. “Oh!” Erebus’s ear jumped to Tycho’s touch. “That’s, that’s very nice.” She blushed and back up a bit before she got too into it, much to Nightshade’s amusement. “Yes, well, that and with fangs and abundant chest-fluff,” The Thestral said proudly, “We’re ponies of the night.” Tycho nodded. “So, what do you eat? You feed on blood?” Erebus quickly shook her head. “Well, while some bat ponies have a taste for animal proteins,” Erebus scratched the back of her neck with her free wing, “We prefer fruits and the occasional invertebrate.” Shade cleared her throat as if acknowledging a piece of info Erebus didn’t share with Tycho. Namely her taste for red...her thought was interrupted when she heard Trace enter the room. “The lab is ready for one of the samples. The chironasium is set up for your work, Tycho.” The half-elf explained. “Thanks, Trace.” Tycho stretched. “I’m going to shower and get changed.” Tycho stood up. “It was nice to meet you, Erebus.” He extended his hand. Erebus hesitated. Shade recognized her confusion and leaned in. “Humans shake hands as a form of social greeting and goodbye.” “Oh!” Erebus smiled and concentrated for a moment. A shadowy hand formed in front of her and gently held Tycho’s as best as Erebus could guess. “W-what is this?” Tycho sensed the animated object form in front of him. The hand felt almost textureless, and somewhat cold. “I’m just using magic to form a hand. Sorry I didn’t warn you.” Erebus replied, ears turned back slightly. Tycho sighed and shook it before letting go. “Alright. Well, good luck on your excursion.” Erebus nodded. “I look forward to meeting with you again, Teeko.” Tycho just gave a nod and a wave to everyone else and headed home to get cleaned up for tonight, while Shade went to the hotel to clean up as well. The northern, freezing wastes remained as dead as ever, with only the stars and the distant beacon of the Crystal Empire providing any sign of life to the land. Noctus stood outside in winter armor as the base was completed. He gazed out to the distant frozen lake, knowing full well that there was the peril that they were to study. His thoughts were interrupted as the corporal arrived. “Noctus!” Jasmine called him from behind. Noctus turned to his subordinate. “Report.” “Some Thestrals will be here tonight. They want to meet their ‘reverent lady.’” Jasmine made quotes with her hooves. “Do not disrespect Princess Luna, Corporal!” Noctus scolded. “I’m not talking about Luna. I’m talking about Erebus.” Jasmine said nonchalantly. Noctus blinked. “Professor Erebus is VIP, I understand, but she’s a scientist, not a princess.” Jasmine shrugged. “I don’t get it either, but her family is pretty important where they’re from.” Noctus raised and eyebrow. “Anything else you haven’t told me about your species?” Jasmine yawned. “That we’d better have mangos waiting for them in the eatery or they’ll be gnawing on our necks tonight. Mmmm, mangos.” Jasmine licked her lips, her mind drifting off. “Snap out of it.” Noctus ordered. “You have already eaten. What about that over there?” He pointed to the frozen lake. “The umbral lands are there, correct?” Jasmine cocked her head. “I heard the frozen lake was artificial to keep the portal to the umbral plane sealed.” Noctus nodded. “You seem to know many secrets, Jasmine. Is that the reason you joined us?” Jasmine giggled. “You kidding? I violated every security protocol learning stuff I shouldn’t know. I’m an abundance of top secret information. That is why I can’t retire! Yay!”  Noctus just gave a look of bemusement. How was he stuck with this idiot? How did she get the rank of corporal?! As the two continued their chat, a spike of red crystal slowly ascended between the cracks, inch by inch, freeing itself from its icy prison. “Almost.” An otherworldly voice whispered from the crystal. “Must be patient.” Reflected in the crystal’s surface were two green and red eyes with purple miasma flowing from them. After Tycho finished showering and got dressed, he arrived down stairs to notice what he deduced to be Alex sitting on the couch. “Well, first time dating a pony, eh?” Alex smirked. “Let's assume this is between two civilized adults just going for some relaxation. Nothing more.” Tycho asserted. “What should I keep in mind?” Alex looked at the ceiling, trying to recall any snafus he made. “Just remember your cultural differences and context, Tyke. Both you and Nightshade will be going in with assumptions you may not be aware of.” Tycho nodded as he got his shoes on. “Figured as much.”  Alex studied his friend as Tycho straightened his clothes. “You’re repressing a lot, Tycho.” He leaned forward. “This date may feel refreshing but I think you’ve been through quite a lot. So, no more adventures alright?” Tycho stood and looked down at Alex. “How many times have you and the others been through life-threatening situations?” The older canadian coughed. “More times that I’d like to admit. Made me into a Paladin, in fact.” Tycho shook his head. “Did you try to avoid it?” Alex frowned and nodded. “I tried, Tycho. I wanted to keep a low profile more than anything. Then things just happened.” “And when they happen to me, what then?” Tycho pressed. “Be it me, Matt, the six, the league, heck Nightshade,” Alex pointed out, “Don’t feel ashamed if we handle it.” Tycho sighed and opened the front door. “I’m holding you all to that. I got one enemy in the ministry already and I didn’t do anything.” Alex stood up and followed. “Yeah, that tends to happen to us.” He let himself out. “Well, take this opportunity to relax and take in the local culture. Oh, and one more thing.” Tycho tied back his long hair and waited for Alex to finish. “Order from the ‘other meals’ menu. The name of that restaurant isn’t for show.” Alex headed home as Tycho shrugged and took his first walk to town proper by himself. Upon reaching the door of his home, Alex paused in thought. “Wait, is he still allergic to hay?” Nightshade happily hopped out of the bathroom after combing her mane. Erebus sleepily hung upside down from the curtain rod by her tail, her wings holding a blanket around her body. “Have fun, Shade.” She said as she drifted off into slumber. Shade smiled and blew Erebus a kiss before heading out the door. She pranced down the hall from her hotel room and out the front door and trotted toward the Hay Bale. She was giddy to finally spend some time with a stallion, and not on military business! Her eyes sparkled seeing Tycho already waiting for her outside the restaurant. She approached her date and stood on her hind legs, giving Tycho a hug. “Hey there, handsome.”  Tycho braced himself when he sensed Shade lunging forward. He didn’t push her off, but only gently returned to the hug. She took extra care to soften her fur and mane tonight, he felt. “Hey.” He replied. “Lets get a table?” He gestured inside. Shade let him go and led the way. The two got a table outside as Tycho put on the enchanted reading glasses. Through the black that was his vision, words began to appear from the menu. He took Alex’s advice and read the contents of the other menu, and it was clear why it was recommended. There was hay in everything else! They even had hay smoothies. How does that work?!  Tycho was glad to have found a soup and salad dish with fresh bread, no hay. Shade ordered hay burritos and guacamole salad. The table was silent for the first minute as Tycho had no idea how to start this, and he sensed Shade felt the same. “Feeling lost for words as I am?” Shade smiled meekly. “Yeah, normally I talk without thinking in social situations. But now I’m kinda wondering what to talk about.” “How about goals?” Tycho asked. “Erebus and I know what we basically want in life. I don’t know yours.” Nightshade liked that. “A year ago, I just wanted to be the best captain of the night guard.” She levitated the glass to her mouth and took another sip. “But now I need to think about the possibility that there may be a bigger horizon.” Tycho cocked his head. “Like…?” “Don’t tell anyone but me and my troops have been given a very important mission.” Shade smiled. “If we perform admirably, my division will be given a big commission. That means we can expand the guard to be as big as the day!” She saw everypony taking notice of her volume and calmed herself. “Did you know the day guard has a major and three captains? If I can achieve rank major and promote Noctus, it would show the rest of the guard we’re more than just rehab for failures and rejects.” Tycho took a sip of wine and listened to Shade’s description of the Nightguard. Shade was definitely as competent a military captain as one should be. No wonder Alex and Matt trusted her. Even though she was silly in funny little ways. “But I bet your career is gonna be like Erebus’s.” Shade said. Tycho was tempted to correct her. His career was to be a CERN scientist smashing atoms to make history on planet Earth. Now, he felt like a professor trying to find ways to compensate for the shambles that was his old work. “To be honest, I’m having a hard time finding the enthusiasm I had back at CERN.” Shade looked sympathetic. “Even though all of this seems impossible from your world, you’d trade it all to be back home.” Tycho nodded. “I am doing stuff people wouldn’t believe. But now that I am here, all this science-nonfiction stuff isn’t as exciting as I thought.” Nightshade nodded and let the brief silence encourage Tycho to talk. Tycho took a bigger gulp of wine. “If I could have come here under different circumstances, I’d feel different about things.” Shade refilled both their glasses and placed some extra salt in hers. “I felt the same when I joined the guard. I wasn’t enthusiastic and it took a hardflank captain to help me find myself.” “I want to be inspired again.” Tycho then said under his breath, “And anything to be home again.” Shade moved her seat closer as she saw their food arrive. She then leaned against Tycho’s arm. “Can I help you bear that hurt?” Tycho didn’t flinch as he used to. This world, he could feel, was bringing about his emotions in empathic ways. Shade had understood enough of Alex and Matt’s situation to know his was similar, he deduced. But she was being very sincere. He smiled softly and leaned down and gave her little nuzzle. “Sure, and thank you.” Shade blushed and ducked the waiter to move her chair back. “Sorry, I hope that didn’t embarrass you in front of everypony.” Tycho shook his head and assessed the structure of his food with his fork. “But I will admit. Messing with balls of super concentrated energy and making a collider in a garage is cool.” Shade smiled and dug in. The night passed with Tycho and Shade chatting about nothing important, but still feeling all the more relaxed. After they finished dessert and paid the bill, Shade escorted Tycho to the bar. The place was rather spacious, but had a strange smell to it that bothered Tycho. Tycho always had an issue with hay fever, but being outside kept that on low. This time it was hard to ignore. “We gonna have more drinks?” Tycho asked, wiping his eyes. “I promised you extra fun, didn’t I?” Shade winked. “Um…” Tycho felt his nervousness coming back, feeling the need to sneeze. “What did you have in mind?” “How about a roll in the hay?” Shade asked in her signature silky voice. “I, uh.” Tycho sneezed. “Shit, dammit. Sorry Nightshade, but that is too fast and too soon.”  The bar seemingly went silent as ponies heard Tycho’s reply. Shade blinked. “Um...I mean playing in that restaurant hay pile.” She pointed to that space Tycho didn’t assess with his hearing. “I know it's childish but I think its nostalgic.” Tycho blinked as his eyes itched. Like a ball pit for adults, he deduced. Ponies were in there, he could tell from the movement of the pile. He had no time to imagine what that was like as he sneezed again and pointed to the bar. “Bartender, napkin, please.” He snatched one handed to him and covered his mouth. “What’s the problem?” Shade asked. “You sick?” Shade gasped. “Oh gosh, Tycho, are you allergic to something?” Tycho nodded. “Outside, please.” He clumsily made his way to the door as Shade quickly guided him with her magic. He almost bumped into furniture and event eh door frame without her help. Shade quickly guided Tycho to a place where he could sit down. “I’m so sorry, Tycho!” Shade sat down. “I didn’t know. No one said anything you were allergic to hay.” “It's alright.” Tycho sniffed. “I thought being my age, I’d have gotten over hay fever.” Tycho blew his nose one last time and threw the napkin in a public can. "If I had known I'd have suggested someplace else." Shade was holding back tears. Tycho cleared his eyes and sensed Shade's despondence. He gave her a little ear rub to snap her out of her funk. "I can be around the food. Just not the raw stuff." He explained. "And besides, we just discovered I'm still allergic." Shade looked at her date, still feeling somewhat responsible, but she changed the subject slightly. “So, uh, a roll in the hay for humans implies something lewd?” Tycho nodded and felt a chuckle welling up. He snickered. “Yeah, afraid so.” Shade turned redder. “W-wow. That is kinda hot.” She giggled at the thought. “So what is with ponies rolling around in their food?” Tycho asked with a chuckle. Shade smirked. “Hay is only food when its prepared!” She playfully stuck her tongue at him. Tycho smiled. “Thanks for the evening, Nightshade.” Tycho stood. “It’s late, how about I walk you to your hotel?” The mare felt her embarrassment fade and walked by Tycho. “It's this way, Teeko.” She teased. As they arrived back at the hotel, Tycho knelt down touched one of Shade’s ears. “There, now I’ve petted both of them.” Shade leaned into the feeling. “Oh, you’ll get far with a mare with those hands.” She cooed. She forced herself to walk up to him and hug him again. “Well, I couldn’t give you the extra fun I had in mind, but maybe I can make up for it.” Tycho returned her hug. “How?” Shade smiled mischievously. “Well you can’t see it, but you can at least feel it.” She took one hand of Tycho’s and placed it firmly on her plush flank. “Feel that, Tycho? Dead sexy.” And gave him a quick peck on the cheek before withdrawing from their embrace and trotting into the lobby. Tycho stood dumbfounded and flustered. Second time he touched her and this time she wanted it. She was a flirt, no doubt. He stood up and scratched the back of his neck as new thoughts came to his mind. Walking back home with the sounds of crickets echoing around him, revealing the world to his ears and in his mind's eye. Now on top of living in an alien world for the rest of his life, there was the possibility of an interspecies relationship, with a career soldier no less. What else was this world going to throw at him? WELL SET MY FACE ON FIRE AND BEAT IT OUT WITH A GOLF SHOE! THE STORY IS BACK FROM THE DEAD! Thanks to the Memverse crew for edits. My muse is speaking to me for another chapter!