//------------------------------// // Trying (September 2019) [T-Rated - Profanity] [Apple Bloom] [Diamond Tiara] [Slice of Life] [Dark] // Story: The Voices Told Me to Hug You // by Aquaman //------------------------------// “This shit’s like cough medicine.” Apple Bloom grimaced, her face a sign of silent agreement as she reached to grab the bottle back from Diamond Tiara. Ponett’s was far from the best vodka Equestria had to offer--arguably, it was exactly the opposite--but it was cheap, plentiful, and relatively easy for high schoolers to get their hooves on. All things considered, it could’ve been worse. After all, they could’ve been sober on a Friday night. “No, seriously, it’s cough medicine,” Diamond went on, her aimless gesturing hoof the last thing Apple Bloom saw before she squeezed her eyes shut and took another pull. “It tastes terrible, it sucks to get down, but it’s got a bigger purpose, y’know? To... get us drunk. It makes sense. I think it makes sense.” Once she swallowed, Apple Bloom smirked. “Never took you for such a poet.” Diamond lolled her head to the side, wearing something like a smirk of her own. “You never took me for much of anything.” “That’s what she said.” Diamond flopped onto her back again, completely prone against the grassy hillside they’d settled upon. “You wish…” she mumbled before splaying one foreleg out and using the other to accept the bottle back. Apple Bloom could only shrug in response. Not much she could say to that after two years being as out as she and Dinky were. And on the binary scale of “would” or “would not,” Diamond was definitely a “would.” This deep into a fifth of Ponett’s, Apple Bloom was in the mood to be honest with herself. “So what’s your purpose?” Apple Bloom slurred after a bit, not quite sure where she was going with the question but happy enough to just find out when she got there. “For.. self-medicating?” “I just like getting fucked up,” Diamond said simply. She took a drink from the bottle, barely even flinching at the liquor’s burning aftertaste. “Better than the alternative.” Again, Apple Bloom couldn’t argue. She held her hoof out to receive the bottle back. After a few moments of silence and no weight added to her foreleg, she turned to look at Diamond, who continued to stare at the sky. “You know, you’re lucky,” Diamond eventually said. “What d’you mean?” “‘Cause you don’t have to try.” Apple Bloom’s hoof fell to rest against the grass as she propped herself up on it. “Try what, what’re you… what?” “You don’t have to try,” Diamond repeated, idly rolling the bottle’s base in a circle against her stomach. “Like, just being honest and generous and like… sharing booze and whatnot. You don’t even think about it, you just… it’s natural. You don’t think about it. You’re lucky.” Even if she hadn’t been drinking, Apple Bloom wasn’t sure she’d have known what to say to that. “I mean… it’s not like I don’t think about it. Being nice and doing stuff like that, it don’t come natural…” “Yeah it does,” Diamond snickered. “Yeah it fuckin’ does, don’t lie to me. You suck at it. At lying, not at… y’know.” With a blink, Diamond glanced down her torso and realized she was still holding the bottle. “See? Case in point,” she said as she finally passed it back over. Apple Bloom took the vodka but didn’t drink it. “Diamond, you’re not a bad pony just ‘cause you have to try to be good. Everypony has to try. You think I don’t?” “Nah, I mean, I know that,” Diamond said. She waited--and aimed a pointed look her companion’s way--until Apple Bloom drank again before continuing. “I know ponies try. I try. I try really hard. But for you, and Sweetie and Scootaloo and, like, fuckin’ everybody… it’s easy to try, y’know. Like, you… it works for you. You do good things and you make other ponies feel good and you feel good, and that’s all… how it’s supposed to be. I don’t know, fuck it. Gimme the bottle.” Apple Bloom sat up, her head spinning in more ways than one. “Diamond, you… what d’you mean, how it’s supposed to be?” “Nothing, never mind, just lemme-” “Diamond.” Diamond squinted, then scowled, then for a moment almost seemed on the verge of laughter. “Wait, since when are you my fuckin’ mom? Actually, don’t be, please, stars above. I actually like you. And you… tolerate me, so that’s--” “Diamond, stop.” “--better than nothing. Also, stop what? I’m having a great time.” “I mean stop... I don’t just tolerate you, you’re my friend,” Apple Bloom said. “I care about you.” Now Diamond did laugh. “See, that’s what I mean! It’s so easy for you. You’re just friends with everypony, and everypony likes you, and you don’t have to… like, your fuckin’ family likes you, even. Literally no matter what you did, your family would still be there, still… look at you like a fucking… equine being.” For the first time in an hour, Apple Bloom sat up fully. When Diamond swiped for the bottle, she lifted it out of reach. “Diamond, what happened?” “Nothing happened, what… why does something have to happen?” Diamond said. “Can I not just get drunk and hang out, is that not okay? Does everything have to be a fucking friendship problem like it was with your sister?” “No, Diamond, that’s not--” “I’m trying, okay? I’m trying to be nice, and fun and normal and every-fucking-thing everypony wants me to be, and sometimes I just want to try to get drunk and black out and forget how much of a fuckup I am at all of it, all right? Because you know what, at least I am trying. At least I’m sticking it the fuck out every moondamned day, even though I’m shallow and hollow no matter how many nice things I do, even though I just want to stay in bed and lie there and rip my own fucking skin off because I can’t stand the thought of even existing anymore. But at least I’m trying, right? At least I’m fucking trying.” Apple Bloom didn’t say a word. Diamond stared at the sky. “It’s all easy for you, and I don’t need to be fucking lectured about it,” Diamond said. “Gimme the fucking bottle.” Apple Bloom rooted around until she found the bottle’s cap, then screwed it on and rolled the bottle out of reach. “Diamond, listen to me,” she said. “I don’t… you’re right. It’s easy for me. I don’t have to deal with half’a what you do.” “Oh, yeah, poor Diamond Tiara, rich and famous and fucking--” “Diamond, shut the fuck up.” Apple Bloom’s voice cracked on the last syllable. As she blinked away the moisture in her eyes, Diamond flinched like she’d been struck. “It ain’t all about money, or privilege or whatever other excuse you wanna cling to. You try so hard, and we all see it. All of us, I swear to Celestia. And I believe in you. I don’t care if you don’t, I do. I believe in how good you are and how hard you try, and if your parents or anypony else doesn’t, then fuck them. Fuck them.” “I’d rather not, all things considered,” Diamond muttered--but she let her hoof drop, and didn’t ask for the bottle again. “I believe in you,” Apple Bloom repeated. “And I’ll try too. Try to be there for you, whenever you need me. If you ever feel like that again, please tell me.” Diamond kept her silence. Apple Bloom wiped her nose on her hoof. “Do you… do you wanna stay over tonight?” Apple Bloom asked. “I’m not trying to be a bother, I’ll be--” “Diamond, do you want to stay someplace other than home tonight?” Diamond blinked, and sighed, and stared at the sky. Finally, she murmured, “Yeah. Please.” “Okay,” Apple Bloom said. “Then come on.” And when she stood up and extended her hoof to help her friend up, Diamond took it. They left the bottle where it lay.