//------------------------------//
// Roach Wrangling 
// Story: Horsing Around 
// by HermitBunny 
//------------------------------//

“So that’s it.” The exterminator pony gave a brief rundown of the process and aftermath as Tom nods along and signed the verification form. “Did a thorough sweep of the boutique with a fogging spell then used a ventilation spell to air out the place,” he said, tapping his horn. “It's all good to head on back inside.” Tom handed him back his clipboard and shook his hoof in thanks. “Thank you for your patronage. Have a nice day!” The exterminator waved as he hitched his wagon and trotted off.
“Oh, Thomas.” Tom looks behind him, seeing Rarity coming up to him with a full saddlebag on her back, no doubt filled with food for the coming week, and a large travel cage floating in her magic. “I just finished my shopping and picked up dear Opal from the pet sitter.” Inside the cage, light snoring could be heard. She set down the cage and looked to where a wagon rode off. “Was that the exterminator just now?” Tom nods. “Then I take it that the infestation’s been taken care of?” she asks. Tom nods again, pleased with himself for holding down the fork while his caretaker was away. “Phew. Thank, Celestia. Really, Jerry? You hoarded enough food to attract a family of cockroaches into my home. Whyever would you need to keep your leftovers, dear?” 
Jerry popped his head out of one of her saddlebags, giving a sheepish grin and a shrug. He had to admit the faults of his tendency to hide food in his little mousehole back on Earth. Survival of the fittest after all. However, since his arrival to Equestria and acquaintanceship with the seamstress, he never had to worry about going hungry again since she was always punctual and generous with feeding him and Tom. That meant whatever extra snacks he stashed in his homely cage were soon forgotten within that very day. And inevitably a cockroach found its way to Jerry’s stash and propagated throughout just about every dark corner of Rarity’s boutique.
“Those vermin were all over the kitchen. Some even tried getting into the fridge.” Rarity gags at the last part, remembering the sight of them crawling in and out of the notches and in-between spaces of the fridge. “Because of that, I had to toss out all our food. I refuse to eat anything that’s been in the same room as a cockroach.” With her magic, she opened up her two saddlebags, pulling out an absolutely stuffed grocery bag, with Jerry inside one of them, from each one, and pushed them into Tom’s arms. She trots over to her front door, opening it. “Be a dear, Tom, and bring those to the kitchen while I inspect the boutique to make sure everything’s in order. Oh and Jerry, do assist Thomas, please.” Giving the two their tasks, Rarity magics Opal’s travel cage again and rushed inside and up the stairs.
Tom, hefting the bounty of food for the next week, waddled in after her. He stopped for a moment to gently close the door behind him with his foot before heading towards the kitchen. The sound of plastic shuffling filled the house along with the occasional hard hoofsteps from upstairs. Tom was a little annoyed though; him doing the heavy lifting while the little rat rides along, no doubt the shuffling of plastic and the faint clicking noises coming from him sifting and digging through the loot. But he doesn’t complain much though since the tiny mouse can’t really help- Wait a minute...
Tom’s ears perked up, the display unnoticed by Jerry. He looked around the boutique, seeing nothing amiss. The boutique was just the way Rarity left it before the extermination. Pony mannequins and clothing racks, barren of any dresses and hangers, were pushed near a wall, out of the way. The curtain and drapes, the most conspicuous ornament of the boutique, were the only things left alone. Scanning the room, Tom couldn't pick up anything out of the ordinary. Just Jerry digging through the groceries. Speaking of which, Tom marched on into the kitchen, his eyes furrow and ears still standing at attention. He rested the bags on the kitchen countertop and, on cue, Jerry jumped out. While Jerry pulled down on the plastic handles to gingerly tip over the bag, Tom opened up the fridge, revealing the barren shelves and empty crisper drawers. One by one, the beefy mouse fished out certain items onto the countertop in reach for Tom to pack away top to bottom, making quick work of the sorting.
Halfway through the sorting, Rarity trotted into the kitchen, adorned with her saddlebags and now a light sunhat and large polarized sunglasses. She hums in satisfaction at Tom and Jerry finishing up their task. “Exceptional work, you two. Now I must be going now for a get-together with the girls at the beach.” She turned to the front door, checking through her saddlebags. “I’ll most likely be out until evening so have whatever you like in the fridge. Make sure to lock up and -oh- Dear Optle is upstairs sleeping so try not to make too much noise and startle her.” Confirming all her beach-time essentials are packed into her saddlebags, she swung the boutique door open, setting off the light doorbell, and trots out. “Have fun, you two~!” Rarity sang. Both Tom and Jerry gave a thumbs-up and continued sorting as she closed the door behind her. The doorbell jingled again but only this time was stopped short by the tip of a grimy insect leg which then traveled down to lock the door with a soft click.
Tom noticed Jerry unbagged the last bit of the groceries so he pulled out three of the kitchen drawers to form an impromptu staircase for Jerry to ground level. Jerry gave him a thank-you salute, which Tom returned, before folding up the grocery bags and descending to the floor, one drawer at a time. Leaving Tom to sort the remaining goods, Jerry left the kitchen, carrying the folded bags above his head, to store away the bags by the front door for reuse. However, when he entered the boutique’s foyer, Jerry noticed something standing in the corner of the room. And it certainly was one of the biggest fright he’s ever received.
Tom closed the fridge door, finished packing away the last of the food. He pats himself on the back, looking forward to a day of relaxation all alone until a scream nearly made him jump out of his pelt.
Tom ran out of the kitchen, finding Jerry backed up in one corner of the room and in the opposite corner, a very giant, and very angry, cockroach. Tom just stared at it, perplexed, as the cockroach gave him a mean scowl, repeatedly beating his fist into his palm. Oh, that’s one mad roach. Tom looks back and forth between the two, still dumbstruck at the suddenness of the situation. Sure he’s seen and read a bit of Equestria’s animal, both normal and mythical to Tom. Plus the weekly troubles the monsters of the forest nearby demanded his caretaker’s attention which allowed him a front-rowed seat of some of the more dangerous animals out there. However, he wasn’t quite sure there were any references to a giant cockroach. Oh, wait. It's walking up to you now.
Bang
And Tom went flying across the boutique and into one of the dressing rooms from a serious right hook delivered by the cockroach. The cockroach follows after him, diving through the double doors and what follows is a cacophony of destruction and distress.
Oh God! Help! Get it off! GET IT O- BANG!!!
Launching past the doors of the fitting room, Tom went flying for the second time that day, this time crashing through one of the windows by the door. The cockroach stomps out after him, his beady eyes set on Jerry who watched the one-sided annihilation in the same corner. The message was clear but before Jerry could even take three steps, an insect leg came down on him, swatting him flat. The roach then scrapped Jerry off the floor, scrunched him into a pellet, and flicked him across the room and out the window as well. Nodding in satisfaction, the cockroach stomped off towards the kitchen. 
A hiss by the staircase caught his attention, though. Another cat sat by the foot of the stairs and hissed in aggression, its hackles standing on its ends. Not wanting any more distractions, the cockroach chased after it. Opal, who had been annoyed by the raucous, scampered up the stairs but was however stopped in her tracks by her a tug on her tail. The cockroach, using its long reach, caught the little furball and then proceeded to drag her back down the stairs and threw her into the nearest broom closet. The muffled sounds of mewling and scratching were ignored as the cockroach went back to its business: the kitchen. 
Two pairs of eyes watched the scene unfold through the panes of one of the intact windows, up until the cockroach disappeared into the kitchen, no doubt about to ransack the fridge of their valuable, hard-earned food. Jerry’s annoyed, little eyes met Tom’s furious, big eyes. For Jerry, this roach was gonna steal their food. For Tom, this roach just disrespected a whamen. For both, they mutually had a beating they would like to return to the roach. Nodding towards each other, they both sink below the window, disappearing from view.

Clink Clank-Munch-Chink
Rummaging around the fridge, the roach helped himself to the copious amounts of vegetables and fruits stocked in the bottom crisper drawer. Already nursing a bundle of vegetables it couldn’t fit in its mouth in one arm, he searched around other places in the fridge all while munching on a stick of celery in his overstuffed mouth. Water bottles and a jug of milk were fumbled with. Colorful flowers were on a shelf above the vegetables. Some small boxes and plastic packs in the top shelf were shoved to the side. The glass bottles and plastic bottles tucked away on the door were ignored. It never could get through that type of food back when it was tiny; the glass and plastic were simply too hard to chew through. The roach scraped the rest of the vegetables, fruits, and some flowers, into his arms, spilling some onto the kitchen floor.
It closed the fridge door, its antenna twitching. *Behind him, a brave tomcat slowly approached the unsuspecting cockroach with a baseball bat (20XX, original). Raising the wooden bat over his head, Tom took the time for a solid windup-
BANG!
Produces, as well as a part of the bat, dropped and tumbled onto the floor as the cockroach visibly winced from the ambush. Growling, it did an about-face, bringing it muzzle to mandible. Tom, in response, visibly gulped at the towering fortress of exoskeleton while still clutching the broken bat close to him. Before the cockroach whaled on Tom for the second time, they both looked up at the large bump that erected on the roaches head, popping off a layer of the exoskeleton. Tom, hoping he might salvage his situation, helpfully pushed down the bump despite the pain visible on the roach’s face. Unfortunately, the bump popped up again. Growling again, the roach stood taller, about to reach for the tomcat, skip the beating, and go straight to strangling him. 
Clang!
Above, Jerry had climbed atop the refrigerator unnoticed, where he dropped a conveniently stored cast-iron pan onto the roach’s bruised head. This time, the roach doubled over, clutching its head in pain. It recovered quickly, seeing the tomcat sprint underneath the table. The rat, however, is gone. Growling, the roach sped over to the table and peeked underneath the table cloth to find that- and he’s gone… Frustrated, it grasped the edges and lifted the table over its head. Where’s the cat!? 
Unbeknownst to it, Tom was actually hanging on to dear life underneath the tabletop, holding onto the table legs to keep from falling.
Slamming the table down, the roach looked around for the mouse instead. Going to the cupboards, it ripped open one, checking its contents starting with the bottom shelf. Not that one. Not the next. Not the-
Shatter!
And for the third time that day, the roach took another hit on the head, this time assaulted by a plate dropping onto it. The roach looked up, spotting Jerry precariously preparing another plate. It reached for the little rat when the brave tomcat once again ambushed the unsuspecting cockroach. Feeling its legs buckle under it, the roach dropped onto the floor where it was promptly pushed onto its belly and its arms and legs were forced into concerning angles and hogtied together like some sort of prey. Jerry, seizing this opportunity, gave Tom a thumbs-up while he was finishing the last knot in the tablecloth and hopped down onto the counter then onto the floor.
While it was down, Tom and Jerry escaped the kitchen to the boutique’s main lobby. The roach only watched them run while it struggled in its bind. The pain; the humiliation. Combined, the two kinds of feelings made something snap inside of it. Wiggling free, the roach slipped out of his binding, undoing the knots of the tablecloth. Furious, it followed Tom and Jerry out of the kitchen and into the main lobby. 
Tom and Jerry managed to escape, but now what? Thinking fast on their feet, they scurried off their separate ways, Jerry into a pile of fabric and Tom behind some mirror stands. The roach came running out a moment later, swerving around the corner to stop by the fitting platform. Its antenna twitched as it crept up to the platform, wary of another surprise attack. Nothing amiss in the lobby. Hunched over, it skitters quietly across the platform, past the four full-length mirrors; from the corner of its eyes, it saw its sleek feline form being reflected off one of the- Hol’ up!
Its head snapped at a complete 90-degree turn, peering down at its ‘reflection’ with the same shocked expression. The roach took a step back and the reflection does, too. The roach leaned side to side, peering at its ‘reflection’ from different angles, and it too follows along. The roach stuck its tongue out, intrigued by this pony contraption. It stuck its tongue out again. And again. And went into a full-blown holler, eyes closed: A-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA
BANG!
Distracted, the roach didn’t notice its ‘reflection’ wound up for a solid sucker-punch to the jaw, sending it flopping onto the floor. Tom, having the high ground now, peered down at the clobbered cockroach and made a mad dash away as the roach sat up. Wasting no time, the roach tore down the silk drapes off their clamps and fashioned a lasso. He goes long, the stylish silken sheets going straight for the fleeing feline. The purple drapes draped over Tom’s neck, tightening the loop, to snap Tom back to reality and -oops- there goes gravity as the lasso yoinked Tom off his feet, pulling him through the air right to his doom. The roach steadily reeled in its catch of the day, firmly grasping the tom cat when he was within reach.
Jerry, observing from his hiding spot, dashed out from the pile of fabric and climbed up the rack housing the bolts of colorful fabrics. One by one, Jerry rolled over each of the heavy bolts out of their respective slots and onto the floor. And one by one, they did a little bounce before rolling down the lobby towards roach. The roach was about to throttle the meddlesome tomcat when it heard the series of muffled tumbles behind it. Confused, Tom and the roach turned to the source and went wide-eyed at the rolling stampede of fabric. Dropping Tom out of the way in a panic, the roach started its sprint to escape, only for the first bolt to sweep it off its feet. The roach kept running backward precariously atop the stream of fabric bolts like a professional log roller, further propelling itself down the lobby, out the door, and into the streets of Ponyville, much to the fright of the ponies still out for the evening. 
Tom just sat there, dumbfounded by how abruptly the cockroach showed and was shown out the door. Jerry ran up beside him, also watching the roach log-rolled towards the evening sunset, disappearing into a speck on a dirt road. The two looked at each other, a wide grin plastered on their face, relieved that the ordeal is over. Standing up, the two shook hands vigorously and danced around the room, reveling in their victory over a giant cockroach. In their excitement, they did not notice a certain alabaster unicorn peeked her head through the open door of her home. She stepped in after, staring at the dancing duo in confusion.
“Thomas. Jerry.” The cat and mouse snapped to attention at the surprise return of their caretaker. “Whatever is going on. And why is the door to my boutique left opened?” Rarity only just watched, one eyebrow raised, as the two only just shrugged and grinned innocently. “Hmmm. Well, would you two be so kind as to at least sweep around the lobby? The open door may have tracked some dirt or debris into the lobby. I would help as well but,-” Rarity looked down the bit of red showing beneath her white coat. “it seems I have a bit of a sunburn.” Sympathetic, the two saluted. “Much appreciated,” Rarity sighed, gratefully. Rarity walked past them and up the stairs, wincing with each step, and the two got to work, a broom in Tom’s hands and Jerry with the dustpan. Systemically, the duo swept up away what little specks of dust littered the lobby floor near the door. Diligently, they worked to clean up, but internally, they breathed a sigh of relief, knowing they can rest easy for the rest of the night without their caretaker Rarity suspecting any-
“Oh, Tom, Jerry?” Rarity spoke up from her way down the staircase. “Have either of you two seen, Opalescence?”