//------------------------------// // Training // Story: D.N.A: Damn Not Again // by Chemtest //------------------------------// Chem stands in a forest clearing, a group of twenty stallions in front of him. He smiles, “Alright, listen on up, because I don’t want to repeat myself. We shall not kill a single pony, and we shall fight in a non lethal manner. We shall learn to kick, we shall learn to punch, we shall learn to bash. We will not learn how to stab, we will not learn to kill.” One the stallions scoff, “What are we learning for, a bar fight?” Chem snaps his vision to the stallion, “Excuse me? Can you say that again?” The stallion takes a step back as Chem focuses on him, “Oh, uh, are we learning for a bar fight?” Chem glares at him, “You are lucky that you brought that up. Otherwise, I might have beat some sense into you.” Chem takes a step back, “Our style of fight does rely upon the same logic as a bar fight, yes. We will use our environment to the best ability that we can. In a bar, you pick up a chair to bash someone. Here, it is a tree branch, and you shall learn to fight with that branch and your own two hooves!” The stallions all nod along. Chem looks to them, “The objective of your fighting is to not get hit. And if you are, you must redirect the force, and not absorb it. Dodge, leave the opponent wide open, take the opportunity. Those are the three main steps.” He smiles, “Would anyone like a demonstration?” All but one or two of them raise their hooves. Chem nods, “Good, then I need something very simple. One of you need to scream like a terrified little filly, and another needs to howl like a wolf.” One of the stallions step forward, “I can do that, sir!” Chem’s eyes widen, “Really? I thought we would have to kick someone in the balls for this to work. Go on ahead, I wanna hear this. What’s your name, stallion?” The stallion smiles, “Mimic, sir. I was always skilled at mimicking noises, you see.” Chem nods, “Very well, Mimic. If you can do it, you get whiskey.” Mimic nods. He clears his throat, and looks into the sky. He opens his mouth, and charges up for a second. Then, an ear piercing, window shattering screech comes from him. Everyone around him, including Chem, move to cover their ears as the screech continues. It sounds like someone stuffed a bat down a filly’s throat and told her to sing a national anthem, with the bat providing rhythm with it’s own screeches. After ten seconds, the screech dies down. Everyone uncover their ears, only to hear Mimic let out a howl. The sound from the howl travels across the entire forest, and echos itself through the nearby Ghastly Gorge. Chem stares at awe upon hearing them. He laughs as soon as the howl dies down, “Okay, if you could do that first one in the middle of battle, we might just get everyone to retreat. Honestly, good fucking work, you’re getting a promotion. Might not even be a hierarchy, but you’ll move up when there is one.” One of the stallions raise a hoof, “Uh, quick question, sir, but what was that supposed to do?” His answer comes quickly as a timberwolf breaks into the clearing. All of the stallions flee to the other side of the clearing, leaving just Chem to face the wolf. Chem smiles, “Attract this, such was the goal. Now, allow me to teach you how to fight!” The timberwolf looks around the clearing, unsure of the situation it has been placed in. It sniffs the air, searching for the filly. Chem faces the timberwolf, and enters into his bipedal fighting stance. He stomps down, forcing the wolf to look at him, “Come on you bloody cunt, we haven’t got all day fuckface!” The wolf growls, and lunges towards Chem. Chem takes a step back with half his body, the half where the wolf is jumping towards. The single step back was far enough as to where the wolf latches onto nothing but air, and lands right in front of Chem’s hoof. He kneels down on that side, lowing his hoof to under the chin of the wolf. Then, he jumps up, and shouts, “Shoryuken!” He sends the wolf flying back, as he himself jumps into the air. He and the wolf both land at the same time, and face each other once again. The wolf growls, and charges towards Chem. It reaches him quickly, and lashes out with a paw. Chem takes a step forward, being so close to the wolf that it can’t hit him with that paw. He then ducks underneath the wolf, curling his hooves around it’s other leg. With only one front leg on the ground, the wolf is quite unsteady. Thus it is easy for Chem to roll over, and flip the wolf onto it’s back. He pins the wolf down, and pries at it’s leg. With a final burst of strength, he rips the branch from the wolf. It howls in pain as Chem climbs off it. Branches and leaves come from all around, and form a new leg. The wolf stands, and lets loose a howl of rage as if charges Chem once more. It jumps for his throat, planning on ripping it out. Chem flips back, landing with one leg forward, and another behind. He smiles, “Batter up!” He twists his entire body into the blow, hitting so hard with the claw that the wolf’s head spins around in it’s socket. The timberwolf takes a step back as Chem stands there, ready for more. It whines, and rushes back into the forest. Chem nods, “Pro tip for all of you. If an enemy is retreating, you do not stop it, especially if in a war. One man retreating will spread fear into the others, and thus make a full route more likely. Retreating is nothing but good for us.” He faces the stallions, “Dodge blows, leave the enemy open, strike. It lunges at me, I put the barest minimal effort into dodging so I would be in a good position. It tried to swipe me, and I moved so close that it couldn’t, and used that proximity to put my own skills to use.” The stallions all look at the timberwolf leg still in his hooves. Chem throws it down in front of all of them, “And if you can, disarm your enemy.” He then takes a step back, “Now, I want to see you all fight! Whoever can dodge the best, hit the hardest, and hit the most will get whiskey tonight. Go!”