//------------------------------//
// It's a Good Night Not to Die 
// Story: The Fifth Holy Grail War: A Pony's Perspective 
// by Evowizard25 
//------------------------------//

Shirou was used to staying up late at school. Something was always breaking somewhere. That was partially due to how old the school was and partially because reinforcement wasn't a permanent solution to problems. So he sometimes had to go back and fix things again. Thankfully over the years he had gotten better at mechanics so he didn't have to rely on it as much but still.

The job was simple. He'd only need another half hour to fix it completely. Then he could go home. Twilight and the others were most likely asleep by now. Although, he wasn't sure if servants really needed it. Saber had told him once she could go without sleep for some time. He hoped she wasn't doing that tonight. She needed rest, even if she was a servant. He'd have to talk to her about that later.

Shirou smiled as he finished his project. The projector wasn't going to give them any problems for a while. He really hoped they did something about the school budget. It was honestly getting annoying having to constantly fix broken machines.

He stood up and rubbed his hands together, "That should do it for now. Now I just have to go home and make Saber a late night snack."

Shirou Emiya had quickly learned that Saber was a glutton. He was thankful that Assassin and Twilight Sparkle didn't share her level of appetite. Otherwise, he'd be broke. He was thankful for his caretaker helping out with the expenses.

That's when he heard a loud clash of some sorts outside. He quirked an eyebrow and made to move outside.

"Don't go out there!" An effeminate voice called out to him.

Shirou stopped in his tracks, "Who's that?"

"Uhhh, this is your conscious. It's very scary outside. Don't go. Oooooh!"

"Okay," Shirou crossed his arms. "This isn't funny. Come out now."

"I'm in your head, silly." The voice chuckled but then let out a gasp when he started moving forward. "Oh come on, you can't leave now."

Shirou decided to leave now. He gripped the doorknob and opened it.

Only to meet the form of a young girl with pink hair wearing a knight like dress. Her arms were out as if to stop him. "I can't let you go out there. My master made it very clear that I needed to keep you safe."

"So you're a servant then?" Shirou was on edge. Saber and Assassin had made it very clear that servants could kill opposing masters. That was something he wouldn't stand for but he planned for just in case. He couldn't die needlessly after all. So he had his hands in leather gloves to hide his command seals.

"Ehhhh… I wasn't supposed to show you that," the servant chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of their head. "Anyways, you shouldn't go out there. You'll get hurt."

"Why? What's going on?"

The servant looked around, obviously trying to think of something to say to get him to shut up and do what she said. "Just listen to me okay? Trust me on this. You don't want to go out there."

Shirou stared at the servant for a moment. Now that it got louder, a part of him thought it sounded like someone was fighting. If that was the case, someone could get hurt. He should go out there right now and stop it. Even if they were servants, a master or a bystander could get caught in the crossfire or even targeted. Yet he couldn't just diss a servant. Even a weak one would still kick his ass, what with him not being a trained magus and all that.

"Fine, lead the way." Besides, it wouldn't hurt to follow the advice of a cute girl.

She smiled and it was a dazzling smile, "Gotcha. Don't worry, nothing bad will happen as long as you are with me."





Rin Tohsaka watched the fight between Lancer and her Archer intently. It was obvious that both of them were firm warriors. That was to be expected in a Holy Grail War. She'd be disappointed if her servant was anything less than perfect, even if he wasn't a Saber. He still fought well against his opponent in close quarters combat.

However, Rin hoped it wouldn't last long. This was Lancer she was talking about. This servant was made for up close combat. He was proving that quite simply enough already. If her servant didn't clinch this victory soon, Lancer might get a lucky blow or worse use a Noble Phantasm. She just hoped Archer was smart enough to get it. Given he got close a couple of times, she thought he just might.

'I don't care how dirty you get,' Rin talked to her servant telepathically through the link they shared, 'Finish him.'

'Gladly,' Archer said. She could detect some satisfaction in the idea of killing him. As though it was personal somehow. She didn't fret on it. As long as she won, she didn't care about the small details like that.

Archer blocked another stab from Lancer and knocked it to the side, making a swing with one of his short swords. Lancer twisted to the side and smacked his spear into Archer's side. Archer let out a small 'ooph' as he was pushed aside, quickly jumping back to avoid another strike.

"Getting closer, Archer." Lancer smirked. "I can honestly say I didn't think I'd have as much fun as I am now with your class."

"Can't say the same for myself," Archer smirked, readying himself for what was to come.

"Awww, really?" Lancer faked a pout before chuckling, "Shame though. My master told me to use my noble phantasm if a fight carries on for too long. Guess you're going to die now." He leaned down and his spear started to glow red.

Rin's eyes widened, "He's using his Noble Phantasm now?" Her heart started to beat faster. No. She couldn't lose. Not when she had just got into the war. She and Archer needed to think of something and think of it quickly or else-

"OW OW OW OW!" A feminine voice called out in pain. "Stupid stairs!"

"Ohohoho," Lancer grinned. "Seemed I wasn't imagining things." He called off his Noble Phantasm and stood up straight, "Seems we've got a servant in the wings. Mind if I pop in and say hello, Archer? We'll continue this another time."

Archer frowned. Rin could sense he was confused, "By all means. I'll kill you then."

"As if," Lancer then ran over to the school building.

"There was another servant nearby and you didn't tell me?!" Rin shouted as she marched over towards Archer.

Archer shrugged, "I didn't know what to make of them. I wasn't expecting a servant to be in the school to be honest."

"Well obviously there is one," Rin snorted and sighed. "Let's go and see if we can tail them. We might get to kill the winner if we're lucky."

"I'd advise against doing that,' Archer narrowed his eyes as he stared at the building. "We should let things play out. Maybe it could turn out to our advantage. Besides, what if this is a trap? It's not unheard of for masters to work together during a Holy Grail War. Two servants working together would be disastrous. I am a skilled servant, but even I would struggle against two of the best heroes to ever grace this earth."

"That may be so," Rin crossed her arms. "But this happening on my territory. I will not let an opportunity like this pass me by. Who knows, we might get to know a thing or two about these servants. I don't want to live in ignorance and question whether one is dead or not."

Archer sighed, "Very well, but let's give the two servants a moment or two to fight before walking onto the scene. I think a small break will do us some good."

"I will let you strike when I think it's best," Rin said firmly and started to walk, "But I think we will give them a bit of space for a moment. Whoever is the master of this mysterious servant is a dead man walking."

"Or dead woman."

Rin glared at him as she held up a finger, "Don't get technical with me! It's a saying." Her glare deepened at the amused smirk on his face, "Don't make me use a command seal on you to shut up."

"Given you wasted one already on something stupid, I could imagine you doing that." Archer waved her off before going incorporeal.

Rin seethed, gritting her teeth. "Why did I have to get stuck with the most irksome servant in the war? I should have gotten Saber."





"Stupid stairs," The now informed Rider muttered as she rubbed her back. "Why do they have to make them like that anyways?"

"Were stairs different in your time?" Shirou asked, helping her stand.

"Kind of, sort of." Rider shrugged, "Just don't tell anyone I fell down a flight of stairs. I don't think I could live with that shame if a servant like myself suffered from that."

"Oh please," Lancer came right into the doorway. He leaned on it, smirking. "Like I'll let you live long enough to know that shame."

"AHHHH!" Rider jumped into Shirou's arms, burying her face into his neck.

Lancer frowned as he looked between the glaring teen and scared girl, "Ummm, so who's the servant?"

Rider jumped out of his arms and gave a triumphant grin, as though she hadn't just fallen down the stairs and jumped into a young boy's arms in terror, "I am Rider, Astolfo of the Twelve Heroes of Charlamagne!" The servant of the horse summoned a lance and pointed it at Lancer, "Prepare to meet your doom."

Lancer scratched his cheek, "You know you're not supposed to shout out your True Name, right?"

"Oh who cares about that," Rider waved him off. "It's not like it's going to change anything. Now come on. Give me your name."

Lancer narrowed his eyes, "This isn't a game, you know."

"I'm just trying to be friendly," Rider huffed. "Geez, learn to live a little."

"Well I'm no coward," Lancer snorted. "Name's Cú Chulainn. Got it memorized?" He tapped the side of his head. Then he got his spear ready and moved in closer to start up the fight. That's when Shirou moved in front of Rider with his fists raised, "Are you stupid? Getting in the way of a servant battle is suicide, kid."

"I"m not going to stand back and let you kill an innocent girl who's done nothing but help me," Shirou glared at the servant before him. As a Hero of Justice, he needed to keep his cool even though he knew he might die.

"Actually I'm a boy," Rider said.

Shirou and Lancer looked at him with cocked heads, "Eh?"

"Yep, one hundred percent male here." Rider gave a smile and a wave. "Also, I'm straight so you don't have to worry about me doing anything to you cuties."

Lancer and Shirou did not respond.

They were broken.

"So… do you want to keep fighting or what?" Rider quirked an eyebrow.

"Enough of this shit," Lancer narrowed his eyes and got into a battle stance. "You die now." With that, he launched himself forward.

Rider pushed Shirou to the side and blocked the blow, "Go! Run now!"

"I can't leave you," Shirou shouted as Rider parried another strike and jumped back.

"I can't hold him off forever," Rider pointed to the exit. "Escape and fight another day."

"You talk as if I'll let you two go!" Lancer kept up his assault. It was obvious that Rider was doing everything in his power just to keep up.

Shirou gritted his teeth. He couldn't leave Rider by himself. He needed to think of something quick or Rider would die. He closed his eyes. He remembered Saber talking about a link between master and servant. How they could talk to each other. He hoped it would work from this distance.

'Saber, I'm at the school. Send help. There's a servant here.'

There was a brief pause, 'Master, stay safe! I'm on my way!'

Shirou opened his eyes and watched as Lancer kicked Rider into the wall.

"You talk a big game," Lancer smirked as he advanced on his downed opponent. "But you really aren't cut out for this war, Rider. I'm actually disappointed. You pissed me off with how weak you are!"

"Not everyone is a roided out Irishman," Rider spat back as he stood up, weapon at the ready. "I didn't become a hero for nothing. I bled just as much as you to get on the throne and into this war so don't take me lightly."

Lancer's grin only grew, "Now that's the spirit. Let me give you a warrior's death!" Just as he sprung, a bright light shone. "What the fuck?"

Rider moved on his own accord, touching the tip of his lance against Lancer's right leg. Immediately, it dissappeared.

"What the fuck?" Lancer grunted as he tumbled on his own remaining leg. His right wasn't 'gone' but it wasn't physical at the moment. That's when he looked up to see two servants over him, one carrying an invisible weapon and the other small knives. Both of them were cute girls.

"What the actuall fuck?!" Lancer snarled. "Where… how…. This was my fight, you hear me?"

"And I normally would honor that," the young blond, obviously a Saber if he was forced to guess, narrowed her eyes. "But you have put my master in danger, Lancer."

"I could be Rider," Lancer said.

"I'm Rider, actually." Rider gestured at themselves.

"Shut up, Rider!" Lancer shouted before he felt a blade on his neck.

"Do you have any last words, Lancer?" Saber scowled at him.

Lancer was silent for a few seconds before snorting, "Next time." With that, he vanished.

Saber snorted, "His master summoned back to his side with a command seal."

"Why didn't you stab him, Auntie?" Assassin asked.

Saber blushed slightly at being called that and huffed, "I must show you a thing or two about honor, Assassin. It would not have been the right thing to kill him just as lost his leg to another opponent."

"You're really wise, Auntie." Assassin smiled up at her, causing Saber to puff out her chest with pride.

"Shirou," Twilight moved over and inspected him. She pulled him into a hug, unintentionally burying his face in her cleavage. "Are you alright? I teleported here as quickly as I could when Saber told me about the trouble you were in. I'm sorry if I didn't get here in time."

Shirou pulled back so he could breath, though he secretly did like being pushed up against her melons. "I'm fine. Rider saved me."

Twilight blinked in confusion before turning to Rider. She gasped, "You're a servant?"

"Guilty," Rider waved at her.

"I thank you for your aid, Rider." Saber strode forward and lent out a hand. "May we women in arms continue this war with honor."

Rider took her hand and shook it, "I'm actually a boy."

Saber actually did respond.

"So… you're a crossdresser like myself?"

Rider gasped and pulled her close, "You are one of my people?"

Saber blinked for a moment before nodding, "It can be fun, but tiring sometimes."

"Finally someone understands the joys of crossdressing!"





"I can't believe it," Rin looked around the corner.

"I know," Archer remarked. "Who would have thought crossdressing servants were actually a thing. I hope they don't start a club."

"That isn't the point!" Rin said and moved away quickly. "Three servants are working together, Archer. Three. We're lucky they're busy talking so they don't come after us."

"Hasty retreat, I take it."

"Yes," Rin snarled as she burned the image of Shirou into her mind. "Then we talk to Shirou after this. He's got a lot to answer for. Hiding his entry into this war. The never."

"Yes, who could ever lie about being a master." Archer snarked. "Such a thing is unthinkable."

"Don't make me command seal your mouth!"

"I'd rather you seal it with your lips," Archer leaned down as she blushed, "That'd be much more fruitful for the both of us."

"Whhaaa," Rin blushed and sputtered, "I hate you so much."

"That's what they all say," Archer picked her up and ran, not noticing the small Assassin spying on the fleeing pair.