//------------------------------// // Case File 8 // Story: Chasing Shadows // by zerofireking13 //------------------------------// I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, thinking of what transpired between Twilight and I tonight. Quick snuggled up against me for warmth, lightly snoring. I breathed out and looked at the phone, I wonder if my- I mean Celestia would be up at this point. I looked at my watch, it was about 10:30 pm. I talked to myself, "If I don't get Celestia then I'll at least get Lu, I hope." I picked up the phone, headset and receiver then I dialed the number. "Hello, Canterlot palace. Princess Celestia is currently unavailable for contact. If you are a diplomat and would like to make an appointment-" A male voice said. "Counting Sand." I interrupted the man. "Oh, I'm sorry sir. Like I said earlier, your mother is not available at the moment, she just went out and won't be back until tomorrow morning." "Do you happen to know where she went?" I asked him. "Said she was going for a stroll, not even Princess Luna would know where she went." The receptionist replied, "Do you want me to patch you through to her?" "Sure, I don't think she'll mind talking to me." I replied, wondering just where exactly Celestia would have went. While the receptionist connected me to Luna. "Greetings." Luna said in her mysterious tone. "Drop the act Lu, it's your nephew...the good one." I said as to not confuse me with Blueblood and get hung up on. "Oh, good." I heard her mutter under her breath and then address night court saying that it was to take a 30 minute recess. "What can I help you with sweetie?" "Did you pick up the phone while holding night court?" I asked her. "You're much more important than this anyways. We were discussing a dispute over a lemon tree, it's incredibly tedious and hardly worth my time. But Tia said that it establishes good public relations whatever that means." Luna sighed as I could hear the air quotes. "Speaking of Celestia, do you happen to know where she went?" I asked her, "Receptionist told me that she was out." "Truly I have no idea where your mother went off to tonight." Luna answered my question. "C-Could you please not call her that?" I requested. "You're adverse to calling Tia your mother? Why, did she not change your undergarments and fed you from her own breast when you were naught but a hatchling?" Luna asked. "In that sense, she would be but..." I gulped, "I just don't feel like that's something that's been earned quite yet. At least by me, I'm not dismissing your points because you do make good ones, I just have a lot of shit to wade through before I'm there. Some of it being my own, some I feel that are hers as well, and some I feel belong to the both of us." "You really want to do this family therapy thing don't you?" Luna asked. "Luna, we're a fucked up family at best and that's not accounting for the fact that eventually I'm going to be running the country." I told my aunt. "And where does Twilight fit into that scenario?" Luna asked. "Twilight is a good princess of friendship, but she's not the best when it comes to being organized without someone else to wait on her hand and foot. That's not accounting for the fact that I am the one officially in line for the throne and I supercede her ascension." "True, you were a prince before she was a princess." Luna muttered. "Getting back to the reason why I initially called, so you have no idea where Celestia is at right now?" I asked her. "No clue, it's not usually like her to not announce where she's going. That's usually my shtick." Luna complained. "You're gonna get annoyed at your sister just because she wants some alone time?" I asked her. "Well....when you put it like that." Luna admitted. "Just, tell her to call me when she gets back. Something happened and it's been keeping me up, I just wish to talk to her." I told Luna. "No problemo....did...did I say that right?" Luna asked as she still had trouble understanding the lingo of the modern world. "Yes, you said it right Auntie. Have a good night at court, and try to get some lemonade out of this dispute, when night court gives you a lemon tree." I said, as she knew what phrase I was getting at. "Yes, yes, I know." She dismissed, "Have a good night Spike." She then hung up the phone. I sighed as I eventually did the same, I stood up and looked outside the window of the seedy motel I stayed at, well seedy is being too mean. The Cozy Sleep Inn is on the higher end when it comes to motels, it's run by a lovely couple and they go above and beyond when it comes guest services. Could they be doing better business wise? Yes, but then again so could everyone in the world. While the Twilight thing was running through my mind, it wasn't the main objective. That was reserved for writing the letters, and since I probably wasn't getting any sleep. Might as well start writing them out, I made them personalized. Trying to put myself in the mindset of who I was a few years ago, something was stopping me though. "I can't." I whispered to myself, "God damn it." Instead of writing out a personalized letter to any of the girls, I wrote a note to Quick. Telling her that I was going out, and that I would return. Getting up I walked out the door and locked it behind myself, I then started to walk towards the liquor store. The Spirit of Ponyville, run by Berry Punch. The premier Sommelier this side of the hemisphere. Going in, I found what I wanted. Whiskey with sour apple flavoring, "It's better than nothing." I concluded, walking up to the counter and purchasing the alcohol. I broke the cap open and started drinking. I wouldn't consider myself a heavy drinker, that's a lie to make yourself feel better. An inner voice told me, in which I responded. "I'm not afraid to kill you with the booze in my hand. Greeeeat, now you're talking to yourself, one way track to the looney bin." I eventually found myself in Ponyville park, at the top of the hill. I resigned myself to sitting down at the top of the hill, looking up at the stars that were shining in the sky. I downed another swig from my whiskey, "Why is this so hard?" I asked out loud. "Because you're seeing the consequences of your actions." A voice piped up, grabbing my attention. I turned to see the owner of said voice was Fluttershy. "I...I don't know what you're talking about." I immediately replied. Fluttershy made her way over to me and sat down next to me, "You can't lie to me Spike." "I'm not-" I started but cut myself off, "How did you figure it out?" I couldn't lie to her, not to Fluttershy. "No matter how much you harden yourself to the outside world, you still care about Twilight. I could see it in your eyes, your compassion." She said, "You still care about us, and I know why you left." "You do?" I asked her. "It was a cycle of abuse, and we weren't going to stop. It took me a month to realize that, I wasn't treating you with the same kindness I treated my friends with." She accepted, "But you were right in a way, if you told everyone you were going to leave then we would've begged for you to stay. Eventually you would have and the cycle would've continued. In some ways, you just disappearing was what was best...for most of us anyways." "But not Twilight." I concluded. "In her own way, she loved you so much." Flutters said, "But that way, that wasn't healthy. She didn't love you as a son, she loved your service to her. But she never took any interest in your interests. This was needed in a way, to show her that the way she was loving you, wasn't the way you wanted to be loved. It took her awhile to realize that." "What do I do?" I asked her, "What can I do?" "Within these past two years you've been living your life to the fullest and the way you want. Is that still what you still want?" She asked me. "Yeah, I do." I said, "I've seen how much everyone has been affected by my leaving, and I just want to fix it." I told her, "I don't know how...." I turned to look at her, "Mom." "H-How did." The faux Fluttershy stuttered. "You're powerful, you can do a lot of things to try and hide your presence. You can't hide the smell, you. You smell like a warm summer breeze. Fluttershy smells like pine trees." I told her, "You want me to repair my relationship with them, but you want me to be my own person." The illusion dropped and there sat Princess Celestia, "Yes." "So you disguise yourself as one of my former friends and pretend to know my secret, telling me about my guilt and about how my actions have affected others. Then you expect me to trust you?" I asked her. She opened her mouth and then closed it, I continue. "The part I don't understand is, why oh why of all the people to do this to....why me? Why your son? Do you not trust me?" "I-I do trust you." She stuttered. "Then why come to me, with a literal mask on your face?" I asked her. "Because I don't trust myself." She said shakily, "I don't trust myself not to hurt my loved ones." "So you keep secrets, and live behind the filter of a mask. Withholding information, and causing more damage for yourself in the long run." I stated, "Causing your own cycle of self abuse." "I...you're right." Celestia admitted and was surprised when I handed the bottle over to her. "You're right too." I admitted, "I am seeing the consequences of my actions. After all how many people have been hired to find their own fucking selves?" "I don't like it when you swear." Celestia grimaced after taking a swig of her own, "And I don't like whiskey." She gave me back the bottle. "There's nothing else, so shut it." I told her as put the bottle back to my lips and drank from it. "D-Did you just tell your own mother, one of the diarchs of Equestria, the avatar of the sun, and the oldest living being in the world to shut up?" She asked. "Yeah I did, what are you going to do? Banish me to the sun? Then I'll really be dead." I smiled and gave her the bottle again, "I also got you to admit you're old." "I-" She couldn't find anything to say so she took another drink. "You're grounded." "I don't live in the castle, so you can't ground me." I smirked. "I'll suspend your bank accounts." She countered. "I'll open new ones." I fired back. "I'll take away your car." She retaliated. "I always prefered trains anyways." I returned fire once more. "I'll take your secretary away." She threatened. "Go ahead, she'll probably steal from the castle and sell the world ending artefacts on the internet to foreign countries." I retorted, that's what broke her, she soon started laughing. "Pffftttt....hahahahahahahahaha!" She leaned back, laying down on the grass as I grabbed whiskey from her. "Gimme that, I don't want to waste my money on good cheap booze going back into the earth." "That's an oxymoron, there's no such thing as good cheap booze." Celestia pointed out, not bothering to get back up. "I'm sorry I don't have thousands of years and gallons of perfectly aged wine in my basement! The closest thing I got to alcohol there is rat turds." I quipped before I drank. "That's....fair." Celestia acquiesced. "In reality, I'm actually glad you're here. I need to talk to you about something. I don't know if I should pursue this or not, things have been...incredibly complicated as of late." I said, which got her attention. I told her about the quasi date I had with Twilight and about how she kissed me on the cheek, I told her about Ember and how we kissed while I was Spike. I revealed that Rarity kissed me briefly as well. I told her all the details and when I finished she looked up at me. "Hmm, that does sound troubling. You do know about how there's nothing against having multiple partners especially in Equestria?" She pointed out, "I'm not Cadence, I've not had a partner in...well that doesn't matter." "That's not what I was concerned about, and you know it. I've known these girls all my life, with the exception of Ember. Twilight I see as a sister so I can't imagine doing anything of that nature with her. While I still feel something for Rarity, I don't want to go down a road where it might cause more pain for the both of us." I told her and took another drink, "I really screwed myself on this one didn't I?" "Yes, you did. However, you're very smart. I have no doubt that you'll find a way to be happy eventually." Celestia said. "Going home?" I asked her, as I could tell that her words were being used in a conclusive manner. "Unfortunately I must, the sun cannot raise itself and Luna breaks out in hives when she does." She said. "Goodnight Tia." "Goodnight Jack."