//------------------------------// // Prolouge // Story: My Little Pony: Friendship is Mandatory // by LoneSurvivor //------------------------------// All the ponies of Canterlot stood in wait from below their princess’ balcony. They waited with bated breath, expecting her royal majesty to finally grace them all with her presence. Finally, Princess Celestia herself stood out before them and addressed her citizens with her widest of smiles. “Good morning ponies of Canterlot!” she called out with her royal voice. In response, her subjects bowed down to her out of gratitude and respect. “You may rise,” Princess Celestia said to her subjects, “I just want you to know that today, like every other day, is going to be amazing and full of surprises. And it is not I who will make that happen, but all of you. For it is your acts of kindness and love for Equestria that makes every day so spectacular.” “We love you Princess!” shouted a random pony. “And I love you too my ever so loyal subject,” Celestia said with sincerity, “Now go out, and love others almost as much as you love me!” The ponies all cheered happily for their princess, as she walked back into her castle with her signature wide smile. Once inside, and one hundred percent sure that nopony could see her, Celestia’s smile dropped back down to an annoyed scowl as she started massaging her mouth. “Frickin’ mouth breathers,” she grumbled to herself. Just then her assistant Raven Inkwell trotted up to her. “Nicely done your majesty. As usual, your speech has caused your subject’s enthusiasm to shoot through the roof.” “Uh uh. Sure. Great. Quick question though,” Celestia than bent down so she could be eye level with her assistant, “Do I really have to smile every single minute of every day? Because I swear to me that it feels like my jaw is going to fall off nearly every second.” “I’m very sorry Princess, but research doesn’t lie,” Raven teleported a folder between them and then pulled out the papers within, “Studies show that when ponies see that you look happy, they will feel happy. Whereas if they see you frown, they’ll feel as though they’ve done something wrong and will go into a panic just to find out what has upset their gracious ruler.” “Yeah yeah, I remember the frown of ‘09” Celestia stated with an eye roll, “I just don’t understand why I have to smile as wide as possible.” “Oh, I never told you to do that part,” Raven told her as she teleported the research away, “All I told you was that you needed to smile for your subjects, not how wide that smile should be. Just a simple grin should probably do equally as much help as a wide toothy smile would.” Celestia just stared at her assistant with a look of shock and frustration. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t fire you right now,” she asked while gritting her teeth. “Because without me you would have to plan out your schedule all by yourself,” Raven simply stated. As expected, Celestia just sighed exasperatedly when the realization hit her. “Can’t argue with that,” she said reluctantly, “Speaking of, what’s next on the agenda?” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Later in the day, Princess Celestia was doing what she did best: Smiling like an idiot while listening to an annoying dignitary complain about all the first world problems bothering him. The annoyance of the day was an old griffon who was rambling on and on about how much his town was depleted of almost all natural resources. As she did this though, a thought came to her: Would a war between griffons and ponies be so bad? The entire griffon population is currently condensed in a small town with the look and feel of a third world country. A whole town, which is something that is meant to be small and manageable, is practically a third world country! So even if Celestia refuses whatever compromise this catbird is looking for, what can his fellow griffons do to stop the pony who raises the fricken’ sun! ’Although, that sounds like it will take a lot of work to go through…’ Celestia thought to herself ’Eh. It’s probably for the best that I keep listening.’ “And that is why you should at least give us some rations to live,” the old griffon said, “Or, I’m sorry, is the all-powerful sunbutt too greedy to share?” ’War it is’ “I’m so sorry sir,” Celestia said through a forced smile, “but I’m afraid that we can’t afford to give you any more rations than we already do.” “You don’t give us any!” “And that just means we barely have enough to scrape by.” “I just saw a statue of you made out of gold in the main courtyard,” the griffon yelled with outrage, “Just a small fragment of that should be more than enough to help my fellow griffons!” “Funnily enough, that’s not actual gold,” Celestia said as she clapped her hoofs signaling the royal guard, “It’s just stone painted to look like gold. I hope you’ll understand. And please accept the apology gift basket as you’re dragged out against your will.” “As I’m what now?” Just then, the two guards grabbed him by the forelegs as a third guard hands him a gift basket. “We’re very sorry and we hope you have a nice day,” he said sincerely. “This isn’t over princess!” The griffon shouted as he was being dragged out the door “I swear my griffons will get what we so righteously deserve! Or my name isn’t GRANDPA GRUFF!” “Forgetting you already!” Celestia said chipperly once Grandpa Gruff was out the door. “You know, that wasn’t necessary,” Raven said, who stood and watched the whole thing, “We have more than enough rations to-” “Yeah, but the prick called me ‘Sunbutt,’ so I don’t care,” Celestia said simply, “What’s next on the ol’ to-do list.” “Well…” Raven then teleported Princess Celestia’s to-do list in front of them, “The mayor of Ponyville will be coming to see you in an hour. She wishes to tell you the benefits of democracy and you will have to explain to her why that’s both stupid and pointless. After that, the head of the Canterlot party committee wishes to speak with you.” “What for?” “Not much. He just wants to know where you wish the Summer Sun Celebration should be held this year.” “Easy. Just tell the mayor of Ponytown-or whatever it’s called-that her town can host the Summer Sun Celebration. The pleasure of hosting an event like that should make her forget all about democracy.” “What if she refuses?” “Then spin a globe, stop it at a random point, and wherever it lands is where we’ll set up,” Celestia ordered with annoyance, “Sweet me, how is this so hard to figure out?” “Princess, with all due respect, I think you should have a better plan for this year,” Raven warned, “After all, this isn’t just any regular party. This is the thousandth Summer Sun Celebration. An event like that needs a better location than-” “Hold on a sec,” Celestia interrupted with a sense of alertness, “Did you say this is the thousandth time we’ve done this stupid holiday?” “Yes, princess.” “As in it’s been a thousand years since the very first time we’ve done it?” “...Yes?” Celestia groaned as she slumped back down in her throne. “Damn it,” she said, “That means the spell is going to wear off.” “What spell?” Raven asked, a hint of fear propping up. Celestia noticed this, but just as quickly shrugged it off once she realized the problem. “That’s right, you all think it’s just a stupid fairytale,” Celestia said nonchalantly, “Short version: My sister Luna was being a whiny brat, so I banished her to the moon for a thousand years hoping she would cool off by then. Hence why the moon looks like it has a mare on it. It wasn’t until right after did I consider she would be even more pissed off once the spell wore off. I could’ve fixed it, but the damage was already done. And-you know-hindsight. 20/20. You get the gist of it.” “And you’re saying there’s a chance the spell is going to wear off tomorrow during the celebration?” “No, there isn’t a chance that the spell is going to wear off,” Celestia said with her boredom showing. “Oh, good,” Raven sighed with relief, “For a second there I thought we were doomed.” “Oh no, we are doomed because the spell is absolutely going to wear off tomorrow.” “WHAT?!” “You see, you said there was a chance that the spell will wear off,” Celestia explained, “That only implies that there’s also a chance that it won’t wear off.” “...” “...What? Good grammar is important. Otherwise, our society will divulge into idiots who use weird symbols to communicate with each other. And trust me, I’ve seen a dimension that has that. And it. Is. Weird.” “I’m ignoring that last part because there’s already too much crazy for me to take in at the moment,” Raven said as she began rubbing her temples, “Ok. You said that you used a spell to banish Luna the first time. Can’t you just use the same spell again?” “I wish I could,” Celestia shrugged, “But I had to use these things called the Elements of Harmony to do it. They were pretty cool by the way. Any problem you had and they could just take care of it in an instant. The problem is that because I used them for a reason that wasn’t harmonious, they won’t work for me anymore.” “So there’s no way to stop your sister?” “There probably is, but that would take so much hard work just to fix it,” Celestia groaned as she leaned back further in her throne. Raven, on the other hoof, looked like she was on the verge of a panic attack. “Are. You. SERIOUS?!” “I know, I wish there was a simple solution too,” Celestia said as she sat up in thought, “If only there was a way for me to take care of this problem without me having to do all of the work.” Just then, a puff of smoke made its way to Celestia, as a parchment magically appeared before her. Celestia once again groaned out of annoyance the second she knew what this meant. “Hang on for a second,” Celestia told a hysterical Raven, “I gotta read this report from my student.” Years ago, Princess Celestia took in a small unicorn named Twilight Sparkle, who gave out a magical burst of energy during an entrance exam to her school. The princess said she would take Twilight in as a personal protege because she seemed like a promising student. The truth was that Celestia didn’t want to deal with a powerful dictator who would want revenge because Celestia had forbidden her entrance. Or something like that. She didn’t know nor cared to think up any other possibility. Especially since something like that happened once before. Regardless, she thought this was the perfect responsibility dodge...until Celestia got to know the little unicorn. Turns out Twilight was excited to be the protege of the princess. A little too excited, to say the least. Every day she sent Celestia report after report about all the little things Twilight did in a day and what she learned from it. Go figure that in an attempt to avoid responsibility, Celestia was only given more of it. But it’s not like she could say no to her student. As annoying as Twilight was, she was also practically a puppy dog. Saying no to her was the equivalent to kicking a puppy. And Celestia ain’t no kicker of puppies. So she read the reports and would always write back about how ‘interesting’ Twilight’s findings were. After all, they were like pulling out a cavity. Excruciatingly painful for a couple of minutes, but the pain would eventually numb after a couple of hours. Which is why Celestia grabbed her metaphorical pliers as she unrolled the parchment. Dear Princess Celestia Today, I read a very interesting book involving these two sisters and how the nice one banished the evil one to the moon. It wasn’t until I was finished did I went “Oh wait, this is just the story of Luna’s banishment told as if it's a little filly story!” You remember Luna right? What am I saying, of course, you do! You’ve told me many times about how sending Luna to the moon was one of the hardest things you’ve had to do in your life (Emotionally speaking of course). It’s not like you would forget about it a thousand years later. Which reminds me, the reason why I’m writing to you (read: Spike is transcribing to you) is that I remembered tomorrow will be a thousand years since you’ve banished Luna. I’m just curious what your plan is. Not to suggest that you don’t have a plan, because of course, you have one. You’re Princess Celestia. The greatest pony who has ever lived. Obviously, you have prepared for this event years in advance. I’m just curious if there’s any way that I can help. After all, ever since you’ve taken me in I’ve always prioritized being your student over anything else. Just earlier today my old classmates asked if I was coming to Moondancer’s party. Sure it sounded fun. Sure I liked hanging out with those ponies. And sure, I’ve never ever EVER been invited to a party before. But I still said no, because what would happen if you needed me? I couldn’t risk letting you down just because I wanted to hang out with some friends. Even if I really really REALLY wanted to. Anyways, Spike is asking me to wrap this up, so I’m just going to remind you that I’ll be in my library researching everything I can about your sister’s banishment. Just in case you’ll need me. And if you don’t, then I hope that you’ll have a lovely time reuniting with your sister. I’m sure she has a LOT to say to you after a thousand years (all good things of course). OH! And before I forget: Today I learned that having a good social life isn’t as important as being your pupil Love From, Twilight. Sparkle. Your favorite student/most loyal subject/bestest friend/possible surrogate daughter figure :) Once Celestia had finished reading the report, a great idea had just come to her. An idea that made her realize that Twilight might just be useful yet. “Don't crumble into a panic yet Inkwell,” Celestia said as she teleported a parchment and ink to her side, “I might just know somepony who can solve all of our problems.” ’To my faithful student Twilight’ she wrote, 'Pack your bags because I have a very special mission for you…'