"Mr. Tolson, as I've said, is really eager to meet you," the suited human, a Mr. Silberman, said to Dancing Flame as they were being driven down the streets of Phoenix. Dancing Flame was sitting in the human equivalent of a luxury chariot, sipping some fancy version of human cider called "clam payne" or something, and being treated like a noble.
"I'm... thrilled to meet him too," Dancing Flame said with some forced politeness. Flame would normally feel pleased by all this luxury, if not for the pickle she was in.
Dancing Flame had been selected to join one of those cultural and diplomatic goodwill trips. She would entertain humans with her pyrokinetic powers. She even performed in front of a lot of important human politicians, including this country's President. Using that fame, she was able to find work in this city as one of those "flambé" chefs, where one both cooked and entertained. Despite her anxiety, she managed to build a life here and make friends among these humans.
But to her frustration, all of it was in jeopardy because of some drunken idiot attacking her with a broken bottle. She didn't want the lunatic to get third-degree burns, but she considered her actions self-defense. But now the government was persecuting her. She ended up locked up and to her fury, a horn ring had been placed on her horn at court order, preventing her from using her fire spells or any of her magic. Even Equestrian police weren't so cruel as to completely block one's magic.
On top of that, the life she had built in this strange world might be taken from her. Even if they didn't lock her up, the government was considering deporting her back home for the risk she could pose. She found it all so unfair. If they were afraid of people getting hurt, you might as well ban broken bottles, cause those can hurt ponies too!
Her only hope was this "Tolson" fellow. She hadn't met the human or spoken to him, but she could tell the man was opportunistic. He had paid her bail, offered his legal help for free, and was escorting her by this fancy human chariot to his offices without asking for anything in return. While she should feel grateful, she imagined this "Tolson" might have less then selfless reasons for helping her out.
But Flame was in no position to refuse, and so she would have to at least hear this man out before she turned him down flat.
"Here we are," Silberman said. Dancing Flame saw as the limo turned into a parking lot. Once they vehicle came to a halt, the human driver opened the door to let them out. Stepping out, the coolness inside the air-conditioned car quickly gave way to the scorching Arizona heat. Thanks to her fire magic, Dancing Flame was used to this kind of heat, but saw that Silberman and the driver were weighed down by it. She marveled at how humans willingly wore so much clothing even in such horrific weather. Well marveled at the sheer insanity of it.
"If you're hot, just wear shorts," Dancing Flame thought with frustration.
"The office is that way," Silberman said, gesturing with his thumb to some tall office building, one of the many that seemed to dot the American landscape. While she was at first impressed with the fact that humans could build such tall buildings without some kind of magic, she now found them to be so boring and repetitive. It made her nostalgic for the traditional homes at her village near Whinnypeg.
After walking into the lobby, then taking the elevator to the 23rd floor, Dancing Flame followed her escorts to a clear glass door with "Tolson & Siegel" painted on it. As soon as she walked in, some woman at the front desk, a receptionist in a purple gown, gave her a cheerful smile.
"You must Dancing Flame," the woman exclaimed. "Mr. Tolson just left for his lunch. You can wait for him in his office."
"Come with me Ms. Flame," Silberman said. The red-coated unicorn followed the suited man, ignoring all the odd looks the people in the firm were giving her.
While waiting for the lawyer in his office, Flame passed the time glancing at some car magazine while sitting on some comfy leather chair that was reserved for clients. She looked at the pictures on the wall and could make some inferences about the man.
He had many pictures of the flag this country had, as well as another flagpole in the corner of the room. That one with the red stripes, white stripes, and all those pretty stars. The man was, or at least considered himself to be, a patriot. Many nobles liked to wave the Equestrian flag and boast about their suppose love for the kingdom, all the while staring their muzzles down at other ponies, so Mr. Tolson's patriotism could also be an empty mask for corruption.
There were also tons of pictures of that bearded man with long hair a lot of humans here worshipped. Jesus was his name. Some humans boasted how he "died for their sins", or whatever that meant. This was someone who had strong supernatural beliefs.
Finally, there were posters of people holding guns. Guns, to Dancing Flame, were a quintessential example of what humans accomplished without magic to aid them. While Dancing Flame could knock out dangerous animals with a stunning spell and use fire in more extreme circumstances, humans came up with a way to fire metal balls really, really fast at potential enemies.
But the sheer number of posters Tolson had made Flame think of it as an obsession.
Finally there was one poster that Dancing Flame couldn't understand. It was a yellow poster with a yellow and black-spotted snake. Underneath the snake was a caption that said "Don't Tread On Me."
"I wonder what that means?" Dancing Flame said quietly. The door opened. A man in a fancy black suit walked in. He was tall, portly, balding (except for some thin grey hair on the side of his head), and he had a tanned and ruddy face. He also wore some kind of Stetson hat on his head.
"Are you Ms. Dancing Flame," the man asked her with a wide smile and a country accent a pony would find in places like Appleloosa. Dancing Flame rolled her eyes.
"Gee, I don't know," Dancing Flame snarked. "I wonder how many other red ponies with fire cutie marks there are in this city? I could be any one of them." The man let out an amused chuckle.
"Sorry. Polite question," the man replied. "I'm Harold Tolson," the man said, putting out his hand. Dancing Flame extended her hoof, allowing him to shake it. "And let me say. It is very nice to meet you-,"
"Mr. Tolson," Dancing Flame said forcefully.
"Yes, ma'am."
"I am not trying to sound ungrateful," Dancing Flame said. "You paid my bail and have told me you want to take up my case for free." She let out a pause as she got to the point. "But, I've read stories about sorcerers and draconequus who promised ponies their hearts' desire to scam them. So...are you planning to take my soul." Instead of looking annoyed, Tolson nodded in understanding.
"I get it ma'am," he said respectfully, "you want to see if there is some fine print I'm showing you. But there really isn't anything I want." He paused, before letting a stern expression form on his face. "Except, of course, the preservation of our freedom and our liberty. I and so many other freedom-loving people feel you are being treated unfairly by them socialist liberal bureaucrats." Dancing Flame cocked her head. The man sounded genuine in his profession, so maybe he might not be so bad.
"Uh, what's a 'socialist liberal'?" Dancing Flame asked.
"A bunch of no good nothings who want to take away our rights and our liberty," Tolson said dramatically. "They're the people want to kick you out of the country."
"Really?" Dancing Flame said in shock. "They sound awful."
"They are," Mr. Tolson said. "That's why I am happy to help. So that you and other ponies who want to defend themselves aren't treated like this in the future." His smile seemed genuine, so Dancing Flame felt what few doubts she had about Tolson die away.
"OK," Dancing Flame said. "How exactly can you help me?"
"The good news is your not being charged with assault," Mr. Tolson says. "Thanks to that viral video, everyone can see that you were defending yourself with the fire spell. The government, however, is charging you with violating the Vance-Peterson Act."
"You mean, the thing that allows other countries to have relations with Equestria?" Dancing Flame asked.
"Yes. Specifically, the parts of the act stipulating that civilian ponies cannot use or instruct others in the use of offensive spells. That law was used to ensure that extraterrestrial exchange and commerce remained peaceful. Since your fire spell was used to attack someone, that is why the feds are looking to deport you."
"That is so unfair," Dancing Flame muttered. "But how can you beat it?"
"The Constitution."
"The what?"
"The Constitution of the United States is the supreme law of the land. Any law that the federal government, state government, and local government passes has to be within the guidelines of the Constitution. If someone finds a law to be unconstitutional, it can be challenged in a court of law. Some cases can go all the way to the Supreme Court, who have the final say on whether something is unconstitutional or not."
"It sounds really, really complicated," Dancing Flame said with a pout.
"That's the point. Our system is designed so that each branch of government isn't more powerful then the other. So that the lawmakers, the courts, and the president can't do whatever they want." Tolson paused. "How do laws get made in Equestria?"
"Well," Dancing Flame said. "Basically, whatever the Princesses say is the law." Tolson's mouth twisted into a small frown.
"Wouldn't that kind of system lead to tyranny?" Tolson asked. Dancing Flame's eyes narrowed in anger.
"Hey!" Dancing Flame bellowed. "Princess Celestia and Luna are the best princesses ever! They would never, ever do anything evil!" Tolson's expression was one of profound disbelief.
"So your Princesses have never done anything remotely terrible or abused their power in any way?" Mr. Tolson asked in a skeptical tone.
"Well, Princess Luna did try to destroy her sister and plunge Equestria into eternal night," Dancing Flame admitted. "But Princess Celestia defeated her and sent her to the moon for 1000 years, but she came back and was reformed, so it all worked out in the end," Dancing Flame said happily. Tolson looked at her with confusion for a moment.
"Well," Tolson said uneasily, "Human beings are not always so...nice. So we need systems of government that limit the power of leaders." He cleared his throat. "Anyways, my argument is that the provisions that ban the civilian use of offensive magic violates the 2nd Amendment to the constitution. The one that grants citizens the right to bear arms."
"Arms? But I only have four legs," Dancing Flame said innocently. Tolson let out a small sigh.
"I mean your fire magic, because you use it in self-defense, qualifies as a weapon that you are allowed to wield in self-defense under the 2nd Amendment."
"Oh," Dancing Flame said in understanding.
"Now it gets even better," Mr. Tolson said. " I grew up in rural Kentucky, and learned to fire a gun when I was twelve. I had ancestors who fought in the American Revolution. That's why I believe the right to bear arms is so important. There are a lot of people who think the same way as me. That's why I am asking you to do something."
"This is the part where I sell my soul right?" Dancing Flame asked with some skepticism.
"I'd like you speak at some meetings for the NRA," Mr. Tolson said. "They are among the biggest guns rights organizations in America. You don't have to do it, but by doing this, you could make some powerful friends, which could make it more likely for the courts to be on your side." Dancing Flame thought about it for a minute.
"OK," Dancing Flame said with a determined smile. "If I can keep my magic and keep the life I've built here, I'll do it."