Twilight galloped outside. The sky was grey and the moon was descending, and almost every pony in Ponyville was out on the dirt roads, talking frantically as they tried to make sense of the thunderous retort that had disturbed their morning rest. As Twilight entered the main square of town she was forced to a hoof-grinding halt as a pink pony suddenly popped up into her path. "Hi Twilight!" Pinkie Pie shouted gleefully.
"Pinkie!" Twilight gasped as she rallied herself, "What's going on? Is anypony hurt?"
"No, everypony's fine." Pinkie giggled, "We all heard this huge BANG! and everypony started running around town. What do you think it was Twilight? Maybe somepony was setting off fireworks, which I hope they were because fireworks mean a big party and big parties mean big fun like games and sweets and drinks and music and dancing!" The excitable pink pony punctuated the end of her rant with a bounce.
"Oh girls! Thank goodness you're all right!" Twilight's other friend Rarity shouted with obvious relief in her voice. The white-coated unicorn's purple mane was a mess of sleep-inflicted tangles, and combined with the sleep mask sitting over her forehead was a telltale sign of the normally impeccably groomed unicorn's rush to locate her friends. "I heard that awful noise and was so worried that something awful had happened. Have you seen anypony else yet?"
"Not yet" and "Nope" answered Rarity's question.
"What the hay is going on here!" Applejack, an orange coated earth pony with blonde hair and ever-present wide brimmed hat barged her way through the crowd to Twilight and the others. "Twilight! What happened? Did some Pegasus set off a lightnin' bolt in their sleep or somthin'?"
"No way!" Rainbow Dash objected as she plummeted from the sky into the middle of her friends. "There aren't any clouds big enough to make a bolt that big in ten miles of Ponyville. Besides, that didn't sound like any lightning I've heard before."
"But where did it come from?" Twilight asked. The four ponies around her grew quiet as they concentrated on their memories. Eventually, Pinkie leapt into the air with a gasp, "The Everfree Forrest! Fluttershy!" And with that, pink pony became pink blur as she zipped off.
Without hesitation Rainbow Dash flew after her friend, her rainbow-streak mane and tail leaving a trail of color in her wake. Applejack was not far behind, shouting as she galloped. "Come on girls! We have to make sure Fluttershy's all right!" Twilight and Rarity followed the farmer quickly, sharing her concern.
Fluttershy's cottage was on the outskirts of Ponyville, so it took the mares several minutes to reach it. When they reached the cottage, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The turf-roofed structure was still intact. The same could not be said of the yard. All manner of animals ran to and fro in blind panic, and a small white rabbit bounded back and forth among them trying his best to keep order amid the panic. Twilight was thankful that the cottage was still standing, but the panicking animals were not a good sign. "Fluttershy's got to be in the forrest somewhere," Twilight reasoned, "There's no way she'd let this go on as long as it has." The rabbit took a leap at one of the panicking chickens, but the hen dodged with a flap of her wings and bolted in the other direction.
Rainbow dash humphed, "Or that explosion startled her so badly she's still hiding under her bed."
There was a great commotion inside the cottage. It sounded like a small tornado was raging inside the place, upturning furniture and emptying cabinets. Pinkie Pie stuck her head out the second floor window, a cooking pot askew atop her fluffy pink mane. "Nope. Not a hair or feather of her in the whole house!" A shellshocked squirrel extracted itself from Pinkie's tail.
"Oh! Hello girls."
The ponies turned to see Fluttershy behind them. The yellow pegasus was whole and unharmed, her long pink mane somewhat obscuring her face as she emerged from the nearby trees.
Pinkie leapt from the cottage window, nearly tackling poor Fluttershy as she pulled the pegasus into a gleeful hug. "Fluttershy! You're all right! We were all so worried because there was a big noise that woke everypony up and then I remembered you live near the forrest which is were the noise had come from and I thought maybe you exploded maybe your house exploded or maybe Angel Bunny exploded TWICE!!" Before Pinkie could resume her tirade she was pulled away by Rainbow Dash, who had taken the pink pony by the tail.
"I'm fine, really." Fluttershy protested in her soft voice.
"Darling," Rarity said slowly, "I'm very happy to see you unharmed but… What is that you're carrying on your back?"
Fluttershy backed up nervously as her friends stepped forward to take a closer look. "I-I found him in the Everfree forrest after that sound earlier. He looks like he's very badly hurt, and I just couldn't leave him lying there."
"What is it?" Rainbow asked, tilting her head to the side.
Twilight Sparkle had moved closer along with the others, expecting Fluttershy's rescue to be a wolf or maybe a small bear. But it wasn't.
The creature was long, almost six feet, and that looked like it was mostly leg. It was arranged strangely, its chest broader than a pony's with it's hips and legs lined up like the creature was supposed to stand on two legs only. It's hind feet were long and flat, while the feet on it's shorter forelegs had five long toes each. Two of the toes on the outside of it's forefeet were set further up the foot, and were held strangely. The head was furred except on the face and ears and lacked a muzzle. A sharp nose stood out between its forward facing eyes. It reminded Twilight vaguely of a…
An ape.
Twilight's mind careened back to the book she had read last night. "Girls. I think this is a human."
"A what now?" Applejack asked bluntly.
"A human. According to legend, they lived in Equestria a long time ago. But they all left." Twilight stepped closer, eyes alight with curiosity.
Fluttershy gave a small yelp of surprise as Angel Bunny, sick and tired of being the only one trying to do anything about the chaos in the cottage yard, thumped his hind leg against his owner's hoof. Fluttershy suddenly noticed the panicking animals and immediately froze up as her brain tried to resolve a conflict of prioraties. "Oh my goodness oh my goodness. I have to calm the animals but I have to tend to his wound so he won't die I don't know what to do…"
Applejack stepped into the yard, all business. "Don't get your mane in a tangle, sugarcube. The girls an' I can corral these critters fer ya while you take care of the hum… that… er, yer patient there."
Fluttershy's expression transformed from near panic to relief as her other friends nodded. "Thank you so much for the help. I don't know what I would have done."
Rainbow Dash waved a hoof nonchalantly. "Aww, don't mention it."
With a parting smile the yellow pegasus walked into her house, moving with care so as not to disturb her passenger.
To the surprise of many of the assembled ponies, Rarity dug one manicured white hoof into the ground. "Well, lets get this over with."
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Several hours worth of herding, coaxing, and fence repair later, the six pony friends were sitting in the living room of Fluttershy's cottage. Rarity and Twilight had made quick trips home; Twilight to gather any and all books that mentioned humans from her library (a disappointing but expected few), Rarity to bathe and finally re-style her mane.
Raimbow Dash was standing by the entrance to the kitchen, keeping an eye on Pinkie Pie who had begun baking sweets for the group. Twilight was reading one of the volumes in her little pile while a bored but patient Applejack flipped through another. Rarity was sorting though a pile of scorched fabric that was the clothing Fluttershy had removed from the human. Fluttershy was quietly descending the stairs from her guest room.
"I think he'll be fine with a little rest." Fluttershy answered the assembled ponies' questioning faces. "Those burns were not nearly as bad as they looked."
"Well that's good." Applejack stated as she closed the book she was reading. "Because Twi 'n me have found squat tha' tells us what to expect when it wakes up."
"Um, actually he's a …"
Twilight snorted as she levitated another book out of the stack and started cross-referencing the stories in each. "Humans have been gone since before Equestria was founded. What did you expect, AJ? The Egghead's Guide to Humans?"
" Well, we do know that it has some sense of decency." Rarity huffed as she admired the human's jacket; denim, lined with wool and fastened with bright metal buttons. "Look at all these clothes! So many pockets! Not much in the pockets survived, the poor thing is going to start with nothing."
"Excuse me, but you should know that he's a…"
"Well it better not get any ideas while I'm here!" Rainbow Dash thrust her chest out and spread her wings to make herself look as big and tough as possible. "If it makes one move toward Fluttershy…"
"GIRLS!" Fluttershy's voice cut through Dash's bragging. "The human's a boy, so stop calling him an it."
Dash looked at Fluttershy incredulously. "How do you know?"
Applejack chuckled, "Darlin', from what I saw, he ain't got a lotta fur to hide what he's got."
Dash's mouth worked for a second, before she joined Fluttershy in an embarrassed blush. "Oh. Um, sorry Fluttershy."
"It's okay Dash, you didn't know." The other pegasus said from behind a curtain of pink hair.
Rarity gingerly folded a pair of black boxers, "Well, we know what these are for now." She tossed the underwear into the "keep" pile.
"Hey Twilight!" Pinkie Pie's head poked out of the door to the kitchen. "Got anything about what human's eat?"
Twilight shook her head to clear it of the… images. "Huh? Oh! Sorry Pinkie, no luck on that front either. Why?"
"So I know how many cupcakes to make, of course!" Pinkie said cheerily. "Hey Fluttershy, you know animals! What do you think he eats? Can he eat chocolate?!"
Twilight followed Pinkies line of thought quickly, then abandoned it for her own when it started to curve to the left. "Of course! Did you check his teeth? That should give us a clue."
"We need at least one ta work with" Applejack remarked.
"Well," Fluttershy put one hoof on her chin as she reviewed her memory. "He has some teeth that are sharp, and others that are rounded. So it looks like he can eat a lot of things." The pegasus paused as her pink pony friend leaned in uncomfortably close to listen. "I guess he can have some chocolate."
Pinkie squealed in glee as she zipped back towards the kitchen, and Fluttershy quickly amended "But not too much!" Pinkie quivered to a stop right before the doorway to the kitchen, her face suddenly dead serious.
"There is NO. SUCH. THING!"
And with that, she was back in the kitchen, singing about cupcakes.
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I wake up.
The first thing I notice is that I'm warm. I'm under a blanket and on a bed. I think I might be naked.
…
Yep. Definitely naked.
The second thing I notice is the smell of baking. I'm not familiar with the smell. Cake, maybe. Chocolate perhaps. Oh yes. Definitely chocolate.
I also hear voices. They sound like young women, but I can't make out what they're saying. They sound like they are underneath me.
I open my eyes. It takes more effort than I thought, but once they're open I can make out the room I'm in. It's daytime, but whoever brought me here drew the curtains over the window, god bless them. Even through the gloom I can tell the room is brightly painted. Mostly in yellow and green. A clock ticks on a shelf on the wall opposite the bed. I can't see the face clearly, but it looks like the hour is in the neighborhood of late morning.
Parts of my arms are wrapped in linen bandages, as well as my chest and legs. I also feel like I've been washed recently.
God I'm tired. I feel better than I did last night when I stumbled through that forrest. That was weird, surreal weird. I need to get my bearings as soon as possible.
The good news: I'm still alive, somebody's tended to whatever injuries I have (more weirdness), and I can sleep my fatigue off in this bed.
The bad news: I'm in a stranger's bed, in a stranger's house, with no idea were I am or what to do next.
Okay, plan.
Step two: thank whoever went through all this trouble for me.
Step one: sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep…
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Twilight Sparkle shut the books with a huff. She magically stacked them and stood up, facing her friends. "Okay, we have no other options. Those books tell us nothing, and we probably don't have the time to look through my old place at Canterlot. We have to write to the Princess and ask her for help!"
Twilight's dramatic announcement was met with a moment of silence.
"Well duh, sugarcube."
"That much is obvious, dear."
"We'd be silly to go to anypony else!"
"If we have to, I guess that's all right."
"I'll go get Spike!"
The unicorn glared at her four remaining friends, as Rainbow Dash had flown off in the direction of Ponyville and was probably halfway to the library by then. "If it was so obvious why didn't anypony suggest it sooner!"
Rarity looked up from her work, repairing a tear in their human guest's shirt. She fixed the other unicorn with a no-nonsense gaze, looking over her red-rimmed glasses with one eyebrow raised. "Twilight, we all know how you are when you get into study mode. It was best to just let you run your course and come to that conclusion on your own." Her piece said, Rarity returned her concentration to the needle and thread floating in her magical light.
Twilight frowned, but she knew that Rarity was right. So instead of pouting she began to compose the letter to her mentor and idol, Princess Celestia. Twilight was sure that the ruler of Equestria had more knowledge about humans than anypony else. Come to think of it, the Princess herself was several thousand years old, and might have had firsthoof experience dealing with humans.
Rainbow soon returned with a windblown Spike in tow. The infant dragon was frazzled but eager to help, producing a quill and parchment as soon as he greeted Rarity. "Ready when you are Twilight," Spike said.
Twilight cleared her throat before dictating the letter to Spike.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
My friends and I are in desperate need of your help. This morning Fluttershy found, alone in the forrest and injured, a living, breathing human.
He is unconscious right now, but we have no idea how to interact with him and no idea when he will wake up. Any advice or assistance you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle."
Spike rolled up the letter and walked to the open window. He took a deep breath and flamed, burning the letter and sending it on it's way to Canterlot and Princess Celestia. "Okay, that's done. What now?"
"We wait for her reply," Twilight said confidently.
"And hope that the human doesn't wake up in the meantime," Rainbow finished snidely.
There was a chime from the kitchen, and soon Pinkie was standing in front of her friends with a tray of piping hot cupcakes balanced on her poofy mane. "There ready! Everypony take one before they get cold!"
Applejack gave Pinkie Pie an exasperated look, but took a cupcake from the tray. One by one, the others took a baked good as well. By now they all knew better than to argue with Pinkie's logic: she believed that the cupcakes would help them relax and take their minds off their worries. They also knew better than to miss out on any of Pinkie's baking. Her sweets were second only to Applejack's desserts, but she had a wider range than the apple farmer.
Spike was just about to take a bite of his cupcake when he suddenly belched. His fire curled in midair before flashing, a scroll floating in the air were the flames had been. Twilight eagerly grabbed it with her magic and unrolled it before her. She was relieved to see the Princess' elegant writing spiraling across the page. She read the letter out loud for her friends.
"Twilight Sparkle,
I am glad you have brought this matter to my attention. I am preparing to leave Canterlot as I write and will arrive at Ponyville within the hour. If your guest awakens before I arrive, please try to keep him calm and explain to him what you can. Don't worry about language, that should not be a barrier. If he seems violent, keep your distance and stay safe.
Princess Celestia"
Twilight let out a sigh of relief, and the other ponies shared her feeling. "Whelp," Applejack said, "The princess is on her way. In a little while this whole mess will be sorted and Ah can get back to Sweet Apple Acres. The east field is ripe for buckin' and Ah can't just let Big Macintosh do all that work himself."
Rarity took up the conversation, mostly to take the minds of her friends off the situation at hoof and the worries that accompanied it. "Do you need any help again, Applejack? I have no projects to work on this week and I have no desire to see you overwork yourself again."
"Nah, it's only one field, Big Mac and I can handle that."
Rainbow joined in, "Ya Rarity, you should see those two in action. They're a apple harvesting machine. They can fill a cart and get it all stored in five minutes, tops."
Applejack gave Rainbow a suspicious glare. "An' how would you know how my brother looks, 'in action'?"
"Why do you think I take naps in your orchard," Rainbow grinned wickedly, more to get a rise out of Applejack than anything. It worked, because Applejack stood up and prepared to chase her pegasus friend down. Fluttershy quickly began to herd the animals she kept in the house out of the room before the rumpus began. Rarity rolled her eyes and refocused on her needlework. Then Twilight asked a question brought the whole room to a screeching halt.
"Hey, where did Pinkie go?"
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I'm waking up again. I had some twisted dreams earlier, some involving aliens I think. I'll be glad to forget those.
Again I smell baked chocolate and hear voices underneath me. That's good. It means that I really am here, and I didn't just dream this cottage up.
I hear the door to the room open. I think I hear footsteps approaching my bed. The rhythm is strange, and it kind of sounds like whoever it is is wearing very hard-soled shoes. I'm surprised to find that this doesn't freak me out very much. Its probably the warm bed and the smell of chocolate. Nice, normal, homely sensations. They tell me I'm safe.
The footsteps have stopped by my bed. Its probably whoever got me out of the forrest last night. I am going to open my eyes and see who it is. And, this is important, I will not freak out. No matter what this person looks like, I will not scream, babble, punch, or insult them in a snarky manner. I don't care if I open my eyes and Chthulhu itself is standing there. Do you hear that subconscious? Are we clear? Good.
I open my eyes. I am not prepared.
What is before me is pink. Very pink. It's hair is a darker shade of pink than its face. It has a short rounded muzzle, and big, big blue eyes. It's smiling at me. And it has a tray of cupcakes balanced on its head. Their chocolate. With pink wrappers. And pink frosting.
Do not freak out do not freak out do not freak out damn but that is a whole lot of pink don't freak out don't freak out.
Not freaking out. Good.
"Hi!"
OHMYGODITTALKS!
Calm down, calm down. That sounded like one of the voices from downstairs. I am pretty sure that she is a girl. Nothing with an ounce of testosterone would be that shade of pink, and would not in such copious amounts. She is probably the one who saved my life and hey, she brought me chocolate. I should at least talk to her.
"Uh, hi." Okay not my smoothest moment, but it works.
The creature in front of me leaps up in joy, and I see that it has four legs. She has a tail the same shade of pink as her hair and looks to be made entirely of fluffy, curly hair. She looks like a small horse. And then my brain clicks. She's a talking pony. And she's pink.
I wonder if I can hitch the next lightning bolt back to someplace sane?
"You can talk, that's so awesomely cool!" She's bouncing all over the place, obviously overjoyed that we managed to pry open the lines of communication with so little effort. How does that work, anyhow? "I'm Pinkie Pie!" I would have never guessed. "What's your name? Would you like a cupcake? I promise they are yummy and delicious and how could they not be? They're cupcakes. Chocolate. Cupcakes."
She holds the tray practically up to my nose. That's impressive, because I'm still lying down. But I cannot refute her logic. I'm hungry. And they're chocolate cupcakes.
I sit up on the bed, still a bit sore but a whole lot better than I was earlier this morning. "My name's Patrick." I take a cupcake from the pony's improbably balanced tray. "Thanks for the cupcake. Is this your house?" I take a bite of the confection, although it's probably not the best thing for my health right now. Oh. Oh that's good.
Pinkie Pie giggles at my question. "No. This is Fluttershy's cottage. She's the one who found you in the Everfree Forrest this morning after that big BANG! You're so lucky to be in such good hooves, you know. Fluttershy is always taking in injured creatures from the forrest. She takes such good care of them, why her home's practically an animal shelter but better because she doesn't use cages. Taking care of animals is her special talent you know. Nopony in ponyville is better at taking care of animals than her, not even the veterinarian."
I let Pinkie Pie talk. She's giving me a wealth of information, like were I am (Fluttershy's cottage, in Ponyville apparently) what it's like (more talking ponies, terrific). Besides, my tongue was to busy absorbing the wonderful flavors of the cupcake I was devouring to care about the petty distraction of forming words. But before Pinkie's tirade could continue much further two more ponies entered the room.
The one leading the way has a creamy yellow coat and light pink mane and tail (just what the room needed. More pink). Her aquamarine eyes are currently expressing concern to a degree approaching panic. I also notice a mark on her hindquarters, like a tattoo but without the look of something so artificial. It depicts three butterflies with pink wings and blue bodies. I also notice a mark on Pinkie Pie in the exact same place, a trio of colored balloons with white strings. Oh and did I mention that the yellow pony has wings? They are folded tightly at the midpoint of her body, between her forelegs and hind legs.
The other pony is as purple as Pinkie was pink, although her mane and tail are streaked through with lighter shades of the color. Her mark is a cluster of stars: Five white stars surrounding a sixth, elaborate purple and white one. Adorning her head is a spiraling horn. Her facial expression is one of tired resignation, but when she sees me sitting up on the bed it transforms into one of startled fear.
The pegasus rushes towards me, and the unicorn begins approach with more caution than is strictly necessary.
Okay, this day is probably not going to get any less weird than it is right now. So I decide to check my expectations at the door, strap myself into the seat, and see what else this crazy ride that my life has become can throw at me.
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Chapter 1 Author's notes: Thanks for reading this. If you liked this, then please rate, comment, and recommend to any other bronies or Avatar fans you might happen to know. Know that you're input is always appreciated by this humble author, even if my output doesn't always say so.
Don't worry, bending, princesses, and more Everfree Forrest is coming next in Chapter 2