Chapter 45 Yggdrasil and Equestria's New Secret Service
Hey guys guess whose picked up writing again?
-Van
"Your doing what!" the group yelled at me in unison.
I said "Yeah you heard right I'm proposing!"
Jacob said "Dude we need to talk about this now." and speak of the devil we hear a loud moan coming from Grant's room.
Michael says "Yeah, but defiantly not here."
I say "Yeah I think it's time to leave."
As we walk out the door I look to Cory who mutters "I wonder if he's on top."
I say "To far dude. To far."
He shrugs at me and were out the door. Elliott asks "Alright dude where are we going?"
I reply "Well it's late and I got the midnight munchies so let's go to the New Rainbow Cafe that just opened up on mare street."
After a couple of minutes of silence I asked "Have you guys ever played the secret service game?"
*Side note you HAVE to try this it's so much fun! We did a 100+ person one once. It was glorious!
They all reply no by nodding their heads. I continue "Well it's where one person starts by gathering a group from 5 to 100 prople or ponies. You then select your target. Your target becomes "Mr. President". Then put one finger, well in this case hoof up to their ear like an ear speaker. They become the chief announcer. You then wait for the rest of the group to surround and put thier fingers up to their ears. Once everyone is ready the announcer yells as loud as they can "Mr. President! Get Down!!!!" while the rest of your group makes a mad dash to Mr. President and tackles him to save his life." I finish in a scientific voice.
Cory says "That actually sounds really fun who do we want to try it on?"
Jacob says "Dude the proposal?"
Graham says "Right, but I think this comes first. Set your priorities first."
I say "Yeah priories man! Let's see umm hey look there's Trixie let's get her first. Get into posisition."
Trixie's POV
"Finally the Great and Powerful Trixie has returned to Ponyville to get her revenge on those who sent me to that hell hole!"
Ms. President get down!
"Huh?"
Van's POV
I yell "Ms. President Get Down!" as loud as my lungs would allow me to as I watch proudly as a blue mare becomes a multicolored cluster fuck of rainbowed hued mixed with a dust cloud.
After all is said and done the guys come back to me and Elliott says "Dude that was really fucking fun! Let's do it again!"
I say "Alright who's our next target?"
Michael says "Dude is that Tom Cruise?"
I say "Yeah, about that Luna said that sometimes when closet Bronies dream they end up as a cameo avatar in Equestria for the stretch of the dream."
Jacob says "So Tom Cruise is a Brony."
Graham says "Nah just a scientologist. Zing!"
We all laugh for a minute before Elliott says "We can't lose this opportunity so we need to get into our places. Van give us the signal."
I waited for them to move into their positions and when all hoofs were in place I yelled "Mr. President get down!"
He saw us charging and at him and yelled "Stop in the name of Scientology!"
Surprisingly Michael actually stopped, but none the less he was still hit by a wall of pony and then disappeared from Equestria only to return to his fancy tempurpedic bed with his silk sheets.
After we had all calmed down I said "Alright now that's finished we need to return to the pending matter at hand. My proposal." as we entered the Rainbow cafe.
We all sat down and ordered our drinks and after taking a nice breather Jacob said "Ok Van you have to explain this how is this going to work are you just going to do it in a fancy restaurant or do the ring in the food or something like that?"
I said "Probably, but before that what do you need to do before asking the daughter?"
Elliott said "Ask the parents."
Cory said "Yeah, but aren't they long past dead?"
I replied "Yes, but have you heard of something no not something a tree named Yggdrasil?"
Cory asked "No and how the fuck do you even spell that? It sounds like it has an O in it."
Jacob said "No it doesn't you fucktard it has 2 g's"
I said "That's enough! But really Yggdrasil is a tree that in
Norse history go to every day to get their things, but in Equestria it is the home of the Gods that extend into the three levels of existence."
Michael said "So basically Heaven, Hell, and Equis?"
I replied "Yes and Luna and Celestia's parents control the heaven portion."
Graham said "Easy enough. So how do we get there and ask?"
I said "Ever seen the music video of Rammstien's Ohne Dich?"
Cory said "Yeah there climbing a.....Van you gotta be fucking kidding me!"
Jacob said "What? What's the big deal?"
Cory replied in a stern voice "Their. Climbing. A. Fucking. Mountain."
The group groaned. Elliott said "Dude you got to be shitting me a mountain! How high is it."
I said "It's a mountain said to be so high the sun doth shine
And the moon doth glow."
Cory said "Sounds pretty fucking high."
I said "Yeah now who wants to go?"
I was received with an awkward silence. I said "Also it is said the ones Yggdrasil deems worthy will receive an angel. That's kinda like a housecarl from Skyrim the only thing is they are all different so pick wisely."
Elliott said "And if you aren't deemed worthy?"
I said "Then Yggdrasil will grant you one item that's within reason of getting. Like a large burger from 5 guys or something."
Cory, Jacob, Elliott, and Michael said "Im going."
I said "Graham can you watch over Grant while we are gone so he doesn't flip out about where we are? Besides I think Twilight will do most of it for you."
He said "That sounds fine by me just bring me back something cool."
I said "Will do. Now we leave for Yggdrasil at 6 am tomorrow. We will meet in the living room. Got it?"
They replied "Got it."
I said "Alright now that that's done let go home and get some sleep, and begin packing don't bring to much only what you can carry we got a long day ahead of us."
Now have some randomly gathered facts from the internet!!
In all three Godfather films, when you see oranges, there is a death (or a very close call) coming up soon.
If you were to spell out numbers, you would you have to go until 1,000 until you would find the letter "A".
23% of employees say they have had sex in the office.
Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women.
Married men change their underwear twice as often as single men.
There are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year.
Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
They have square watermelons in Japan - they stack better.