//------------------------------// // Chapter 22: Home // Story: Anon II: The Second Part // by 23 KM To Nerdiness //------------------------------// "Seriously, parents let their kids WATCH things that are THAT violent?" "Yes, what is there to be confused about, Star?" you ask. "With the anvils and the dynamite and the animals falling off high cliffs and stuff?" "That is correct, yes." "..." "..." "Humans are weird." "Hey, I RESENT that.......I don't deny it. But I resent it." Mr. Jammers cuts through a bundle of branches and bushes up ahead. You all step out from the gloomy Everfree Forest to see what you and your pal thought you'd never see again. "Friends." Wally says cheerfully. "Welcome home." Down below, still in its tranquil, easygoing state lies Ponyville. Ponies are still happy, going about their day as usual. The sun is shining, the foals are playing and everything seems to be doing alright. "Well." you sigh. "There it is." "Home." Starlight says. "We made it. Welcome to Ponyville, Spirit." "Baba babaaaa!" the little one giggles, happily clapping his hooves. "Hmm, something's.......different about this place?" Wally ponders. "Oh, you mean the gigantic crystal castle over there." you point out. "THAT'S what it was. Wasn't around to see that built." "Yeah, owner's a real egghead." What seems to catch your attention is the vast amount of flyers attached to almost every building in the little town. "Is that-" A lone piece of paper suddenly crashes into your face. Examining the flyer, you see a picture of your confused mug in the center of the sheet reading: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS HYEWMUN?! - Goofy green face. - Film egghead. - Subtle as a buck to the face. - Dance 'Master'. If found, please chant Pinkie three times. "ME?" you gasp. "Dabuq?! You guys STILL can't spell my species' NAME right?!" "Hey, mine's no better." Star groans, handing you another flyer blowing in the wind. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS UNICORN?! - Pink fur. - OP magic (whatever that means). - May or may not have almost caused the destruction of Equestria as we know it. - Uses lavender-scented shampoo (according to Nonny). "Dang it, Pinkie." you utter. "Dang it, Pinkie." Star says, shaking her head. "W-Who's Pinkie?" Wally asks. "NONNY!!!" Predictably, but not so predictably, the bubbly pink menace slams full force into your body, clinging onto you with her signature death grip as Spirit ducks back into the crate in your hands. "I FOUND THEM, I FOUND THEM, I FOUND THEM, I FOUND THEM, I FOUND- MMM!!!" To your surprise, Star clamps the pony's yapping trap shut with her magic. "Yes, Pinkie." she sighs. "We're back. We've been through alot and we're very tired, so save your questions for later, 'kay?" The party pone nods her head as her muzzle is released. [3.....2.....1...] "Awww, who's the little guy?" she squees. "What did I just say?" Star grunts under her breath. "Pinkie, this is Spirit." you state. "Spirit, Pinkie." "Pee-kee?" Spirit babbles. "Eeeeeeee, he said my name!" Pinkie cheers. "Okay, not worth freaking out over it." you scoff. Starlight gives you a quizzical look as you all make your way down towards town. It's almost like a weird form of déjà vu seeing everypony stare at you in awe like they've seen a ghost or something. Most looked on in awe, others looked in confusion upon seeing you all dirty and beaten. Pinkie, meanwhile, swiftly hops around tearing down every poster around. Soon, a familiar voice grabs your attention. "Ugh, I told Pinkie not to go overboard with the posters." the voice groaned. "I know she's determined, but- SWEET CELESTIA!!!" At the end of the street, jaws hanging low, is Twilight, Spike and the girls. "Hey, friends." you wave. "Miss us?" Star chuckles sheepishly. Before you or Star could blink, the Mane 6 + Spike dive into a group hug, ecstatically blabbering on about searching for you two. "Where have you two BEEN?!" Rainbow exclaims. "You just left everypony hanging!" "What HAPPENED to you?!" Rarity gasps, staring at the many holes in your clothes. "Woo doggy, y'all look a mess!" Applejack huffs. "Tell us about it." you and Star slur in unison. "Who's this little one?" Fluttershy asks. "Girls, this is Spirit." Star states. "Spirit, girls." "Spee-ray!" the baby squeaks. Every mare squees and coos around the happy little foal. No matter what age, you still think ponies are cutest when they make the silliest faces and sounds. "Where'd the youngin' come from?" AJ asks. "A crate of fruit." you state. "We just found him on a beach and there was no one else around." "WHAT?!?!" everymare gasped. "It's true." Star adds. "He's a brave little guy, though." After all the baby worshipping subsides, you notice Twilight turning her attention to Wally. "Oh, and you are?" she asks. "O-Oh, I'm Wallflower." Wally nods nervously. "Wallflower Blush. A-And this little vine here is Mr. Jammers. We........w-we helped them get back here." "Hmm.......that name sounds super familiar to me." Twilight ponders. "Nevertheless, we are so glad these two are back and we thank you for that." "Really? N-No problem." "Don't be fooled." you chuckle. "She's a tough one. She saved our hides out there." "What happened?" "I don't know." Starlight huffs. "We just woke up one day in the middle of the forest..." Then, as Star fills the gang in on your misadventure, it suddenly comes back to you: [Discord...] "WHO'S UP FOR ANOTHER FANTASTICAL ADVENTURE IN SPIKETOPIA?!" you bark. In a flash, the dorky, disfigured spirit of chaos abruptly poofs before you all in his usual Lord of the Rings knockoff outfit, bow and arrow raised. "0nWarD, gEntz!" he cheers. "V1ctoRy shaLL be OuRs!" Discord's medieval banter is halted by the stern stares you and the others bestow upon him. "Ah, AnOnyMoUs! StArLigHT! You'RE BAcK!" "Don't get all chummy with us, you slimy JERK!" you yell. "Uh, Anon?" Star utters. "What is going on?" "Oh, y0u meAn tHe fakt tHat I'vE suCceSsfuLLy h0oked U 2 luvb1rdS UP?" "Anon, what is he talking about?" "SiLLy StArL!gHt. hE didN'T teLL y0u H0W YoU tw0 wErE oUt thEre?" "What are you getting at-" You take a few steps aside as you witness a huge frown forming on the unicorn's face. Ponies passing by quickly scurry past before stuff gets real. Even you can tell how screwed Discord felt as Star yanks him down by the beard with her magic. "So YOU'RE the one responsible for this insanity?!" she hollers, displaying all of her bruises. "You were just WATCHING us like this was one big GAME?!" "Well, he IS Discord." Twi and the others say in unison. "Do you have any ing IDEA what we've been through?! We almost fell down a ing cliff, I got sprayed in the ing eyes, we got attacked by an army of ing DOGS, locked away like a bunch of ing animals, then I got ing brainwashed by a one-dimensional psycho dog and almost ing DESTROYED my pal, I had my ing magic stolen and we fell down a ing WATERFALL!" You all watch in shock as Glimmy rants on while you cover a confused Spirit's ears. "We're wet." Star continues. "We're cold. We have nature in places nature shouldn't BE in! What do you have to SAY for yourself?!" "A-At leAst y0u'RE bOtH toGeTheR NoW...?" Discord shrugs sheepishly. "Wrong. Answer." As an ominous blue glow appears at the tip of Star's horn, you finally cut in. "Woah, cool off the horn, Star." you say, scratching behind her ears and easing her anger. "Let me handle this. Spike, what's the penalty for endangering others in O&O?" The dragon picks up a twig nearby and clears his throat. "As the Dungeon Dragon Master, I hereby banish thee from 'Ogres and Oubliettes' for a whole MONTH!" he states dramatically. The draconequus' eyes literally POP out of his skull as he falls to his mismatched knees. "Y-YoU c@n'T DO tHat!" he exclaims. " "Sorry, dude, you have betrayed the land of Spiketopia and must pay the price." "N0 moRe wiLL i be p4rt of tHe buzZ, FoR th1s iz thE EnD of CaPt@in WuZz." With a heavy sigh, Discord woefully swoons and disappears into a puff of trippy looking smoke and leaving behind his attire, to everyone's confusion. "It's a guy thing, you wouldn't understand." you nod. "Trust me, his obsession over it makes this the ultimate punishment." "I say, talk about dramatic." Rarity utters. All of you turn to the hypocrite unicorn. "What?" [Ah, it's good to be home.] Sweet Celestia, you haven't had a shower this great since........last week. This whole crazy adventure seemed to have lasted forever that a simple shower felt like heaven at the moment. You rarely went camping anywhere, but you can completely understand why Glimmy hates it. Even though it does jackshit for protecting you, you kinda sorta missed mosquito spray... It passed. Anyways, you dry off and get yourself dressed as you head out through the halls where you soon spot your bedroom door wide open. Checking it further, you find, much to your dismay, that everything in the room is gone, including the BED. There, Spike comes flying by. "U-Uh, bro?" you say, pointing at the vacant space. "W-Where's my stuff?" "In your room." Spike nods. "What do you mean?" "Follow me." Downstairs in the foyer, you see Twilight, Starlight, Wally and the others watching a happy Spirit scurrying around the room. The little one spots you and comes waddling towards you squealing- "Ah-Nah!" "What's the matter, Anon?" Twilight asks. "You look a little flustered there." "Did you guys sell my stuff?!" "U-Uh, Applejack wanted to take it!" Rainbow stutters. "I-I tried to stop her!" "ExCUSE me?" the farm pony snorts. "Who was the one who hollered 'Dibs on his music box thingy!'?" "Enough petty bickering!" you huff. "What's going on?!" "Well, before you and Starlight's.......departure, me and the girls have been crafting a little surprise for you for quite some time." "What's that?" "NO PEEKING!!!" Pinkie shrieks, clinging to your body and covering your eyes. "You're gonna LOVE this, Nonny!" Even with the furry gremlin's squishy hooves covering your face, you could tell with the familiar POOF that Twilight teleported you all somewhere outside. "I don't know." you utter. "You sure it's something I'm gonna 'love' or what?" "I hope so." Twilight chuckles. "Or else this would've been a total waste of materials." "Wait, a total waste of what-" Before you could process what the egghead stated, Pinkie releases her grip from your face to reveal a freshly made red mailbox. "Ooh......a mailbox." you say unenthusiastically. "Thanks, I guess?" "Look at the side." Star says. Leaning over, you find something big written on the mailbox's side: ? ANON ? "Girls, what's all this-" Your throat begins to choke up as you gaze upon what's beyond the mailbox. "......about?" There, behind a nice and neat lawn is a house. A tall, well built, cozy looking house not too far from Twilight's castle or Ponyville. The roof was made of hay like every other home in town, the walls were made of sturdy wood and stone, all topped with a charming chimney. "Welcome home, Anon." Twilight says. "It took alot of thinking, and ALOT of paperwork, but we feel like you deserve to have your own official home here in Equestria." "T-That's for me?" you utter. "Of course, silly." Pinkie giggles. "Are.......is that a TEAR I see there, Nonny?" "I'm not crying! I-I'm gonna go punch a wall to assert my manliness!" "So you keep saying." Rainbow sighs. "Go check out the place first." Inside, you could tell they had a field day working on this place. It has what you'd normally see in a simple living room: a nice, long sofa, a few arm chairs, a few fancy vases and plants, a coffee table, stylish lamps, a cool fireplace in front of the sofa and decorative pillows. Lots. And lots. Of decorative pillows... [Thanks, Rarity...] Like Pinkie hooked on a pack of powdered sugar, you practically bounce off the walls admiring every square inch of the house babbling like a psychotic fangirl. "Is that a kitchen?" "Obviously." Star giggles. "Is that a bedroom?" "Actually, that's the guest bedroom. Yours is upstairs." Spike says. "There's an upstairs bedroom?" you gasp. "We even had Doctor Whooves install that 'air conditioning' thing you keep mentioning humans having." Twilight states. "Squirt, there are stairs, YES!!!" "Yaaaaaay!" the baby squeals. That inane outburst of yours suddenly sinks in... "Sweet Celestia, there are STAIRS! I have to childproof this place!" "Hey, hey, relax." Star says softly, rubbing up against you. "We'll work on it later, 'kay, pal?" "Okay, pal." "Do you like it?" Rarity asks. "It's not too much?" "This......this is perfect." you state warmly. "I love it. Thank you all so much." Hug time has commenced as you pull the greatest friends of your life into a big group hug. "You too, Wally." you laugh as the shy mare is magically pulled into the hug. "I-I'm not used to hugs like this." Wally grunts. "Come on, you know you like it." Star says slyly. "Okay, okay.......just this once." "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!" Pinkie screams, setting off her party cannon. Well, consider your first ever housewarming party a grand success. You have marked this territory as your dance den for you have performed the ritualistic dance of the 'Apache' and jumped the day away with your friends to witness. It is now getting closer to sundown and Twilight and friends have decided to call it a night. As you lay back on the sofa enjoying your air conditioned home, you see Wallflower heading for the door with Mr. Jammers wrapped around her. "Hey, Wally." you say. "Where you going?" "Me and Mr. Jammers are going to head out before it gets too dark." she states. "Are you sure you wanna go back to living all alone in the woods again? Why don't you give Ponyville another chance?" "I-I don't know, Anon. What if I'm still invisible to everypony again?" "Hey, with all the craziness that we just endured, did we think you're invisible at any point?" "W-Well, no, but-" "Did we ever treat you bad in any way?" "Well.....you did force me to dance and say your weird 'Dancer's Pledge of Allegiance' thing, so..." "D-Don't change the subject." "Would you at least keep it in mind?" Starlight asks, opening the door with her magic and stepping inside. "I........I'll think about it, guys." Glimmy gives Wally a quick hoof hug. "Safe travels, Wallflower." "Thank you, Starlight." "Buh buh!" Spirit waves. "Heh, bye bye to you too, Spirit." Wally giggles. "Let's go, Mr. Jammers." Star holds the door open and closes it behind Wally and a waving Mr. Jammers before turning back to you with a seductive grin. "So, what brings you back here?" you ask. "I came to see you again." she giggles. "For what reason, exactly?" You scoot over as the cheeky unicorn trots over and leaps up next to you on the sofa. She pushes back as she climbs on your lap, wrapping her hooves around your neck. "I think you know." she whispers in your ear. [Dear Princess Celestia, give me STRENGTH...] Before you could even blink, you two find yourselves passionately making out with each other. Star uses her weight to pull you over her, her lips still incredibly attached to yours. Your affection session is cut short as you look up to see little Spirit watching in bewilderment. "Squirt, you goofball!" you chuckle, picking him up. "You know, I'm impressed with you, little britches. After everything we've been through, you didn't once have to-" The happy colt's diaper suddenly droops down a few inches. "Ugh, never mind." "Hee hee."