Big Macilicious

by Mitslits


Royal Pains

Red Gala's eyes roved over every part of Luna's body he could see. She couldn't help but wish the float would hurry up and reach the castle so she could get to know her better.
Prince Blueblood was staring at the crowd, but his mind was elsewhere. Specifically with the mare next to him in his chambers. He let a fleeting smile cross his lips then reverted back to his usual taciturn expression.
The princess herself was acutely aware of Red Gala's eyes on her. She kept her professional attitude however, waving to the crowd, a smile on her face. Princess Celestia was the same on the opposite end of the float.
Finally the float rumbled down the final road and then turned towards Canterlot, far in the distance. The princesses spread their wings and prepared to take off. Celestia launched herself into the air, heading to the east of the palace.
"Blueblood, take your guest to the castle. We will be there shortly", Luna informed him before following her sister.
Blueblood turned so he was facing Red Gala. His eyes closed halfway and his eyebrows waggled suggestively. "So, it appears that we will have the castle all to ourselves once we arrive", he said pompously.
As he spoke a carriage pulled by a team of four stallions pulled up next to the float. As Blueblood helped Red Gala into the transport, the red mare received a couple of whistles from the stallions pulling it. A simple glare from the prince silenced them, but Gala winked at each of them.
The carriage began rolling at a brisk pace and the countryside surrounding them turned into a green blur. "I must apologize for my rather...ahem...unflattering reputation with the mares. All the rumors are quite untrue, of course."
"Oh, but of course", Red Gala said, fluttering her eyelashes. "Ah wouldn't dream of believin' a one of 'em, especially after the most courteous way you forced me to come to Canterlot with you", she said, making no attempt to mask her sarcasm.
Blueblood however was not fluent in that language at all. "Yes", he said, examining his hoof haughtily, "I did think I was being rather generous." He set his hoof down and glanced out the window. The castle was still quite a ways away and he had exhausted all means of conversation. Deciding to be what he thought was romantic he slid towards Red Gala, nonchalantly placing his hoof over her shoulder.
Gala would have none of it. She slid away from him, looking at him as if she couldn't take him seriously. "Sugar, Ah could teach you a thing or two 'bout romance", she told him, a hint of a laugh in her words.
Aghast at the way he was being treated, Blueblood turned away from her in silence, staring moodily out the window. The awkward silence stretched on until they were nearly at Canterlot. "I hope our small tiff has not changed your opinion of me, and I would most appreciate it if you would still consider that stroll to my rooms?" He gazed at her with full confidence her answer would be in the affirmative.
"Oh, believe me", Red Gala laughed, "my opinion hasn't changed in the least."
The carriage came to a halt outside the doors of the elaborate palace and Blueblood exited first. Without waiting for Gala, he trotted inside, already heading to his quarters.
Red Gala leaped gracefully out of the transport, landing lightly and heading after Blueblood without a word. She walked through the great halls of Canterlot leisurely, able to follow the echo of the prince's voice as he talked to his imaginary audience.
Eventually they reached Prince Blueblood's room. "Welcome to my humble abode. Please, wait here in comfort as I prepare myself both mentally", here he winked, "and physically."
Gala rolled her eyes as the door closed softly. She gazed about her in wonder. Humble did not describe the room in the least. Full length mirrors covered every available surface and where they couldn't go, posters of the prince himself went. The only piece of furniture was a bed, painted with his cutie mark. The sheets themselves had pictures of the Blueblood's smiling face, so that even in his sleep he could be surrounded by himself.
Her wait did not last long. Prince Blueblood soon returned pushing a trolley covered in the tools of his trade.
As she took it all in, the prince's appearance, the things on the trolley, Red Gala's eyes widened. She gulped, mouth suddenly dry.
The prince raised one eyebrow, grin appearing on his face. "Are you ready?" he asked. "For our makeovers?" He giggled like a schoolfilly.
Everything in Red Gala quailed at the idea of putting this girly gunk on her face. But she couldn't let the prince suspect. And, hey, at least this was better than what she had been expecting.
Still giggling, the prince opened a jar of mud mask. He smeared it on his own face, covering his white fur in the sticky brown substance. "Your turn", he said, holding out the jar.
Gala mentally begged Twilight to figure out how to turn her into a stallion again, but her plea went unheeded. Squeamishly, she dipped a hoof into the mud, dabbing a bit on each cheek. "Ah. Yes. Refreshing."
"Oh, darling, don't be so modest with your portions!" Blueblood slapped a hoofful of the mud onto Gala's forehead, smearing it liberally all over the pretty mare.

Twilight and Applejack had returned to the library to find Spike surrounded by all sorts of spellbooks. "Twilight!" The little dragon leaped to his feet. "Big Mac has turned into-"
"A mare, I know", Twilight sighed. "We've been chasing him all day, trying to catch him. Did you find anything to reverse the spell?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
Spike gave a little sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, Twilight, I magically knew what spell you used and I obviously knew exactly what book it was in." He crossed his arms. "I'm hoping you know how to reverse it, actually."
"I'm going to have to concentrate", the unicorn informed them. "So, if you two could be quiet, that would be great." She settled down in a corner, look of intense concentration on her face.

Half an hour later, Red Gala was decked out in mane and tail curlers, mud mask, and a complete hooficure. And she loathed it. Every stallionish ounce of her was crying out in rebellion.
"One more surprise for you!" Prince Blueblood sang out, spinning around. "Relaxing massages!" He spread his hoof, gesturing to the bed and two masseuses who had just entered, carrying cucumber slices with them. Blueblood placed the cucumber over his eyes, sighing in peace.
Red Gala saw her chance and took it. She leaped forwards, shooting out the door faster than a streaking bullet. And she would have kept going too, out of the castle, out of Canterlot even, if she had not cannonballed straight into her new favorite mare.
"Oof", Princess Luna huffed, stumbling backwards.