Chapter 1 – Rainbow Dash’s 20% Cooler Day, or “I’m a WONDERBOLT?!”
The morning was peaceful and quiet, with Celestia’s sun beginning to rise over the horizon. The transition from night to day was often beautiful in Equestria, were one up early enough to appreciate it. Perhaps the number one student of Celestia could enjoy this more then anyone else, as everypony in all of Ponyville knew that Celestia rose the sun every morning. But, you see, our subject isn’t that particular pony right now. Don’t worry, silly ‘Twilight is best pony’ people we’ll get to her soon enough! Oh, sorry, this is Pinkie Pie; I’m taking over the story today and kiiiinda narrating! Hopefully this will turn out better then My Little Dashie, or…ugh, that one fanfic that no one will SHUT UP about involving me and Dashie! Now, where did I leave that cupcake…? I love cupcakes, you see, they’re so fluffy and warm and yummy, especially with loooads of frosting!
…where was I going with this? Oh, right! Our story begins with one subject of Celestia’s that isn’t the type to get up early. Except when it’s cider season, but I ALWAYS get up earlier then everypony on that day anyway! So, Dashie was dead asleep on her bed…no, she’s not actually dead, it’s not that kind of story you silly bronies! You see, Rainbow Dash had a loooong day yesterday and apparently drank too much cider…or was it alcohol? It was something really strong, because she was singing “Fly me to the moon” while trying to fly there! She barely got to the upper clouds though, thankfully Derpy had a muffin cannon and was test firing it…but that’s for later! Back to standard third-person narration, I’ll try not to butt in as often!
Rainbow Dash awoke with a start…and almost wished she hadn’t. Her head was pounding, and her vision was so blurry that, for a second, she thought she saw three Scootaloos lying next to her. Wait…why was the orange filly Pegasus laying next to her? Why was Tank snuggling between them? She resisted the urge to question everything and just weakly flapped over to the nearby bathroom. She reached in her mirror cabinet for two pills, and placed them on the cloud counter. As she looked at herself in the mirror she gasped, and promptly threw up in the toilet next to the sink. Never mind the red, haggard eyes, or the really frazzled state of her mane…she was in a Wonderbolt costume! The outfit was effectively hers, sporting the same sort of lightning patterns, but with a rainbow colored motif.
This HAD to be a dream, she had to be dreaming. There was no way in Celestia’s entire good name that she had become a Wonderbolt overnight! Speaking of the night before…Dash strained herself to remember something, anything coherent of last night, but it was all a blur of laughter and drinks! She looked around her cloud home, still in a mess that she was too lazy to clean up, and noticed a few things. The first was that the numerous bottles of Applejack Daniels she’d downed last night were scattered across the room. Okay, so she drank heavily…that explained the headache…
Speaking of which, she took the pills off the counter and just drank from a nearby water bottle. She looked around her room, past all the Wonderbolt paraphernalia on the walls; and by Luna, was there a TON of Wonderbolt paraphernalia on the walls! There were Wonderbolt posters, Wonderbolt four poster bed curtains, Wonderbolt plushies, even signed Wonderbolt photographs!
Her eyes turned to the centerpiece of the collection, the center shrine to all the Wonderbolts and her accomplishments combined. They were, of course, tied together in one awesome display, separated by what she’d accomplished and the crowning Wonderbolt items she had; the display had a bit of a duality to it. Her best young flyer competition award, her untidy gala dress and ticket, her captain of the weather team during Winter Wrap Up uniform, her Commander Hurricane outfit from the Hearth’s Warming Eve pageant, the first book in the Daring Doo series…topped by a small chest containing her Element of Loyalty necklace and flight goggles. Pictures of the Wonderbolts, and her with them, dotted the other side…
There was something strange right next to the Element of Loyalty box, something that wasn’t there before. She grasped at it, and almost dropped it in shock. It was a picture of her, last night, downing an Applejack Daniels bottle, alongside the happy looking Wonderbolts with all her friends holding her up as Pinkie Pie had a ‘Congratulations Rainbow Dash’ banner in the background. Dash was in full uniform, goggles hanging from her neck as the sweet alcohol seemed to just vanish down her throat. Spitfire and Soarin’ looked…happy, at least to Dash. Her friends, of course, were ecstatic for her; with Pinkie firing the party cannon in the background. She looked at the back…and froze.
The Wonderbolt’s autograph, along with a welcoming message and a time schedule for the first practice, was on the back of the photo. The first practice was…in 20 minutes, in Canterlot’s empty speedway, and she HAD to be there! If there was a record for ponies who could get sober, Dash would’ve broken the record in literally 10 seconds flat. So Dash began getting her act together…via dunking her head in the sink and flushing it out with cold water. She made sure to look in top shape, with her teeth and mane looking good, and the uniform looking clean.
This all took about five minutes, as she bolted out the cloud door. As she began flying at top speed toward Canterlot, she was aware of a blue blur running alongside her flight path. She flew down to the blue…thing’s location, and was surprised to see a blue hedgehog, with red running shoes and white gloves keeping up with her. “About time ya got up, Dash! Up for a rematch from yesterday?” the hedgehog asked, with a grin. Normally, Dash would’ve dropped everything and race this hedgehog all across Equestria, but she was late for her first flight as a Wonderbolt!
“Sorry, I gotta pass on that race. Hey, what’s your name again?” the newly outfitted Dash asked the hedgehog, who almost seemed to stumble when she asked. “Ya don’t remember, really? We raced yesterday…ah, but if you’re late, I understand. Catch ya later!” the azure hedgehog said, as he zoomed off to parts unknown. If your mind is officially blown, then…YES, that did just happen!
Dash wondered exactly what in all of Equestria happened last night as she finally reached Canterlot. Locating the speedway was rather easy…making sure she didn’t careen into the ground on the other hoof was a harder thing. She managed to, at least, skid to a stop on the ground; the rest of the Wonderbolts waiting. “S-sorry I’m late, had to sleep off that massive hangover.” the rainbow maned pegasus managed to wheeze out as she skidded to a halt. Spitfire, the Wonderbolts’ de facto leader, chuckled as Dash got herself into a respectable state.
“It’s alright Dash, we’re actually surprised you were able to fly last night. If I had that much to drink I woulda been crashing into walls, let alone that you were trying to make it to the moon.” Spitfire commented, making Dash blush. Had she really drank that much? The newest Wonderbolt shook her head and looked around. Soarin, Fleetfoot, Rapidfire, Spitfire, and a couple others were present. They all looked impressive, even in the early hours of the morning. Practice was about to begin, and Dash inhaled and exhaled deeply. Alright, time to show them what all those hours of practice were about!
They had barely begun to get off the ground, when screams were heard. Dash, being ever the first one in, decided to zoom over and check it out; Soarin bringing up the rear. The two came upon something incredibly horrifying, at least to Dash it was. A colt looked beat up and bruised, and that enough would be bad for her if it wasn’t for the ponies over him. “B-big Macintosh?! Apple Bloom?!” she asked in shock, not only at the two being the perps, but at the fact that they had weapons! Big Mac had a huge bat, an’ Apple Bloom had brass knuckles on her hooves.
A loud shot was heard, and the two started fleeing. Dash didn’t think twice, and started chasing after them. The source of the shot was obvious as she rounded the corner and ran smack into Applejack, who was holding a shotgun. “A-AJ?! What in the hay’s going on here?!” she asked, as Applejack blinked twice at Dash. “Sorry fer this sugarcube…” the farmpony said, and the world went dark as Dash was bashed on the noggin with the butt of the rifle…
~*~
Pinkie: Ooh, a cliffhanger! I love cliffhangers, but not if they actually involve cliffs! Sorry, it’s Pinkie Pie again, we apologize for ending on a cliffhanger but don’t worry! The next chapter will clear all of it up! Till then, try buying some apples…lest you incur the wrath of The Apple Mafia! –dramatic lightning, Godfather Waltz starts playing-
Pinkie: =Record Scratch= No, no Vinyl! Play the theme music!
Vinyl Scratch: (offscreen) …me an’ Octy better get a chapter for this.
Pinkie: Don’t worry your silly little head, you awesome DJ, you and Octavia will get a chapter. Also, we remind everypony that every one of the Mane Six WILL get a chapter…each more insane and terrifying then the last! Heck, I’m even getting a chapter, but I’m not saying anything about it! Now, fade to the ‘To Be Continued’ sign, and cut to credits!
TO BE CONTINUED!
My little Pony,
My Little Pony,
Frieeeeeennndsss~