//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: The Things He Carried // by Makerofthebuttswagger //------------------------------// Princess Celestia had seen many strange things during her thousands of years of existence. Hay, she even had her tail temporarily stolen by the Lord of Chaos, Discord - before he reformed, of course. Still... she hadn't been anything like this. The ape thing had taken one horrified look at her before screaming - had she scared it, or was this a defense mechanism? Judging by the plum color on its face, which had been pale only moments before, it was angry. Usually, ponies went pale when they're scared - to be fair, though, this was a species of ape she had never seen before. The only fur on its body was on top of its head, and it wore clothes; nothing extraordinary, though - she had seen her subjects wear things such as t-shirts, although his pants seemed to be made out of denim, or a similar material. The thing shrieked for another moment, then hit the floor. It had passed out, which meant one thing - there must not be sapient ponies where it came from. Was it dangerous? Possibly. As a ruler, she couldn't be too careful, though her gut seemed to tell her that the ape was harmless. Luna, her sister, seemed to disagree. She scowled at the crumpled form of the ape. "Pathetic," she said with disdain. Nope. She clearly thought it was spawn of Tartarus. Weird... Lulu very rarely acted this way towards new phenomenons. Sure, she had a strange way of showing her feelings, as Celestia had spent many a century with her - before and after her banishment to the moon - but something was different. She couldn't quite put her hoof on it, but it was a bit strange... She took a deep breath to clear her mind, and gave her sister a stern look. "Luna, I understand your - ah - disapproval, but I need you to be patient until we learn more about our new friend here." Luna opened her mouth as if she wanted to protest, then made a face, as if she had swallowed something nasty. She then gave Celestia a pouty lip and remained silent. Celestia felt a strange pull to interrogate her sister, but thought the better of it and turned to face the slumped form on the ground in front of her. "I'm going to wake it up, Luna," she said calmly. "I ask that you hold any snide remarks until later, when we're done. Alright? ... Luna?" Luna did not reply; she had silently walked over to her throne and sat down in a resigned silence. Why is my sister acting so weird? Celestia thought, turning to the unconscious ape and preparing to wake it. Man, Toby had a way with headaches. They seemed to really like him. He grunted and rubbed his eyes. His head felt like someone had driven a blunt axe right down the middle of his forehead, right in between the two buttcheeks of his brain. "... Okay?" said a distant voice, and Toby opened his eyes. The light made him wince painfully at first, but his eyes slowly came around. When he saw the white horse-princess looming over him, everything came flooding back to him. Sunny could talk, and apparently her sister too. Could all of these colorful horses talk? "No need to be afraid, young one," Sunny said in a calming, regal voice. Despite the tone, Toby was not reassured. Easier said than done, he thought to himself. There was a tense moment where Toby and Sunny stared at one another, neither of them moving a muscle. "You can talk," Toby blurted. The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. No duh they could talk. Sunny smiled slightly. "Yes. We can talk." "But - but you're horses - horses don't -" "Ponies, not horses," Sunny corrected. "And we do talk. I'm going to assume you have ponies where you come from?" Toby nodded, feeling lightheaded. I'm going mad - it's like living in a show meant for Kindergartners!! "Allow me to introduce myself," Sunny said, seemingly aware of the awkward tension in the air. "I am Princess Celestia; soon-to-be retired ruler of Equestria and raiser of the sun. My sister, Luna, raises the moon." Toby's eyes flickered over to the moon-themed throne, upon which Luna grunted in recognition. His eyes found Celestia's again, and found the deep magenta color of them slightly calming. "Toby," he blurted again nervously. He needed to get out, to leave - but how? The windows, maybe... "I beg your pardon?" Celestia asked curiously. "Is that your name? Tob - what was it?" "T-Toby," he stammered, feeling Celestia's eyes boring a hole straight through him. "Toby O'Leary." "Ah, so you have two names?" Celestia asked. "Er - yeah, something like that," Toby muttered, eyeing the princess's horn. It looked long enough to stab through three people. Was she just buttering him up to murder him easier? There was another uncomfortable silence, then Celestia sighed. "Now for the hard part... in order to insure my nation's safety, I'm required to interrogate you. It's simple conduct -" As the princess rambled on, Toby looked past her towards her sister, who was still perched upon her throne. He didn't like the look she was giving him - it was as if she were trying to melt him with her gaze. Celestia apparently didn't notice that Toby had stopped listening, because she kept talking about her code and laws without blinking. Finally, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Luna stand up from her throne and rustle her wing feathers. "Sister," she announced, cutting through Celestia's speech. "While I appreciate your attempts to be kind to this... thing, more extreme measures are needed in order to maintain the safety of Equestria." Celestia shot her sister a scandalized look, but amazingly didn't reply. Luna had an odd expression on her face - was it smugness or triumph? She approached in a manner that made herself seem as tall as possible. Toby had seen this many times before; it was the very thing his superiors in the army did when they assigned him orders. "Now I will show you how this is supposed to be done, Tia," Luna said firmly. "You are almost too soft sometimes." "I - wha - I am not!!" Celestia sputtered angrily. "You have taken the reigns of this situation - during the hours of daylight no less! You are the princess of the night!!" Luna scoffed. "I am doing what mother told us to do when something like this -" She gestured at Toby as if he were dog poo that she had almost stepped in "- happens! Remember?" Celestia bit her lip, clearly holding back the angry retort that fought to get out. Toby looked nervously from one princess to the next - what had their mother told them to do? Seeing that victory was hers, Luna turned back to Toby and gave him a harsh look. "We will now begin - you are clearly intelligent - the extent of that questionable." Toby looked up at the lunar princess, feeling a twinge of hurt. Did she just call him stupid? "You must answer all of my questions correctly, or you shall be subject to the consequences," Luna continued coldly. Celestia stared at her sister incredulously, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing - almost as if she couldn't believe how rude Luna was being. "First question - what are you?" Luna shot, making Toby jump. "A - a human, your highness," Toby replied, trying to sound as calm as possible. Luna sniffed. "Titles will get you nowhere, human, so no use in flattery. Second question - where do you come from?" Toby felt his insides boil at the injustice. Flattery!? He was showing respect! "Um... the planet Earth, miss." "Earth? Never heard of it," Luna replied carelessly. "Are you lying to me?" "He's not lying and you know it, Luna!!" Celestia cut in hotly. "No need to be so rude. What's gotten into you?" Luna glared at her sister as if to say shut up! "It needs to know its place." "It's a male, Luna," Celestia said wearily. "Address it with the proper pronoun, at least." Luna huffed in reply, looking incredibly disgruntled. Normally, Toby would have been scared witless by this, but somehow the fact that the two sisters kept arguing made it marginally less frightening. He was still frightened, however; he could only imagine what those magical horns could do. "Anyways, before my sister interrupted me," Luna said, scowling (Celestia huffed indignantly at this). "So - from this... Earth, are you?" Toby nodded very fast. "So... what is this Earth like?" "Um..." Toby replied, his voice shaking slightly. How would he describe his own planet? "It's... seventy percent water... a lot of plants... four seasons?" "So it can hold life?" Luna pressed. "Other humans, I presume?" Toby nodded again. "What is your race like?" Luna continued. "Are you a peaceful race?" "Er - no, not really..." Toby said very quietly. Then a jolt of dread shot down his spine - why didn't he just say yes? Luna's eyes widened, and to Toby's dismay, so did her sister's. "Are you meaning to tell me that your race is belligerent in nature?" "S-Sometimes, your highness." Luna shot her sister a triumphant look that seemed to say, I told you so. "You hear that, sister?" "I - I do, Luna," Celestia said, looking at Toby apprehensively. "Although..." "Protocol is protocol, Tia," Luna said smugly. "If the subject is to show any hint of violent tendencies, take precautionary measures. You know the book as well as I do, sister." "Luna, this is most unlike you!" Celestia cried, looking torn. "Is there something you would like to tell me later?" "Tia - the rule was written in mother's own hoofwriting!!" Luna snapped, evidently ignoring the question. "You've seen it, too!" "At least allow me question him further!" Celestia chided impatiently. "We need to know more!" Luna seemed to be unable to argue against this point, for some strange reason. She merely huffed and sat upon her haunches. Celestia sighed and turned to face Toby, no longer showing him that kind smile. Her expression was something else, now - urgent, doubting. It sent an unpleasant tingle down Toby's spine. "So - you say your race has violent tendencies," the princess said in an emotionless tone. "As in... wars?" Thinking of nothing else to say, Toby nodded, doing his best not to let his body betray a frightened tremble. What were they going to do to him? Celestia closed her eyes for a short moment, and let out a disappointed sigh. "To what extent does the violence reach in these - wars?" "That - that depends on the w-war, your majesty," Toby stuttered in reply. "A-HA!" Luna laughed triumphantly. "There should be no more question to why the precautions should be taken, Tia. The intents of this one could be hidden for all we know." "Luna - are you really going to judge the fate of this individual based on the rest of those in his race??" Celestia cried, stomping a hoof on the ground. "Protocol, Tia," Luna said in a singsong voice. "Protocol - yes, fine," Celestia said in a tired voice. "I already have enough on my plate today than to deal with your stubborn vigilance. Guards... take him back to his cell." The injustice of it all began to take hold of Toby's emotions. What. The. Hell. He wasn't even getting a chance to explain himself - they had just asked all the wrong questions to begin, not even stopping to look at any reasonable possibility of an alternative. Now they were acting like he was a criminal - whether or not they seemed to want to was beside the point. So much for trying to be honest. "Toby - I-I'm sorry," Celestia sighed, looking as if she had no choice for what she was about to do. "Truly. You are to remain in the dungeons until further notice." "But why!?" Toby blurted before he was able to stop himself. "I didn't even do any - !" "You are a strange creature from an unknown place as well as origin," Luna said sharply, clearly disapproving of his attitude. "What we have gathered is that you are violent - and for now, it is enough." "Are you serious!?" Toby cried in outrage, but Luna screamed in a voice that shook the very foundations of the room. "YOU WILL NOT SPEAK IN SUCH WAYS TOWARDS YOUR SUPERIORS!! GUARDS!!" she roared, going slightly pink in the face. Celestia was looking at her sister as if she had never seen anything like that before. Toby felt the guard yank on his bounds, pulling him onto his rear. Glaring at the floor, he allowed himself to be taken away. He did not pay any attention to his surroundings as he was led back into the damp, cold dungeon corridor. Everything had happened so fast - it had felt like he had only left the cell minutes ago. And the princesses - they were some pieces of work, that was for sure. Not even giving him a trial -now, that was bull. Of course, he knew that the government of these ponies was obviously a monarchy. Two princesses - yeah. Definitely a monarchy. But they way they talked to him... something in the way Celestia had confronted him told him that they may believe in the right to a fair trial, which would be a very intriguing characteristic to find in a monarchy. His insides still flared at the unfairness of it all. Trial or not, the princesses apparently had to follow this 'protocol' - whatever that was. Perhaps an excuse to imprison him quicker. Well, he wouldn't satisfy them. Celestia seemed to want to see reason for a minute there - but the amount of time it took for her to turn around irked him to the point of boiling anger. So a prisoner is what they want? Fine, Toby thought indignantly as he was shunted back into his cell. Well, this prisoner isn't going to eat anything they give him; neither will he say a single word. It was about time he stuck up for himself, anyway.