What can I say about Sludge that hasn’t already been said? He is a fat, useless, incompetent, lying sack of shit. And that’s me being particularly polite about it. The guy not only tried to go and mooch off of Spike and Twilight, but in order to keep up his new easy life, he actually pretended to be Spike’s father. You know, Spike, the young orphan who’s currently at that critical crossroads of life, and is doing his best to establish his own identity and figure out his place in the world? He should consider himself damned lucky he didn’t leave the poor young drake with serious mental scars.
Now, I can assure you, little would give me greater pleasure than to find him in a dark alley, and kick his head in. But I am not the only one who was out for his blood when it came to light what he’d done. Let’s take a moment and look over all the ponies and other creatures who consider Spike a friend.
Well, first of all, you have all four alicorn princess. Then there’s the reigning Dragon Lord. After that you have the ruler of the Changelings. Then there’s the entire population of the Crystal Empire, including Shining Armor, of course. Closer to home you have Discord, Big Mac, the Cutie Mark Crusaders not to mention Bones, myself and pretty much everypony else in town. There’s at least one near omnipotent demigod on that list, plus two nigh immortal alicorns that are capable of moving celestial bodies at will. In short, he has quite the list of people in his corner, who take a dim view of somepony screwing with him like that.
Now, naturally, after Sludge was exposed for the lying bastard he was, and found to be something less than the ideal dragon, contrary to what Spike had been taught to believe, he had promptly left Ponyville to avoid violent reprisals. Spike himself was actually quite forgiving, letting his more pony side shine through, mixed with the nobility of a true dragon. He had no desire to do anything further. Don’t get me wrong, he was hurting inside, but his friends and adopted family rallied around him.
Me though, while more than happy to comfort him, I was rather keen on getting Sludge over a barrel. Bones meanwhile declared he had a right to vengeance, and plotted to track down Sludge, cut out his heart, and eat it in front of him in the true Klingon style in retaliation for his dishonourable actions. I’m honestly not sure if he was serious.
What was serious though was the reaction of two key players; Celestia and Discord. Now, for Celestia, major events like Spike possibly reuniting with his father didn’t take long to reach her ears, particularly when Spike sent her a letter using his flame breath to tell her what had happened. He kept it fairly short and to the point, making it more like one of Twilight’s old friendship reports. As painful as the events had been, it had taught him a great deal about his own identity. Celestia however, while not as visceral in her reaction as some, was left beyond furious.
“I want his head on a platter!” she exclaimed in the Royal Canterlot Voice. “I’ll throw him in a dungeon until he rots! No, actually, I’ll put him in a dungeon until the dungeon rots on top of him. And then I’ll move him to a new dungeon and let that rot on top of him! I’ll…”
After all, given that Twilight hatched Spike when she herself was just a filly, Celestia had spent a good portion of Spike’s early life looking after him, and considered him something of a son. I did my best to calm her down as wisps of what looked like flames appeared in her usual multicolour mane.
“Tia! Easy!” I said desperately. “If you want to get Sludge, you’ve got to do it the right way. Get him extradited to Equestria. Have him brought up on fraud charges.” That seemed to placate her, and she returned to her usual serene self.
So, she took out her quill and dropped Dragon Lord Ember a line. In short, she demanded Sludge, or at the very least 51% of his carcass to be extradited back to Equestria. She told Ember in no uncertain terms exactly what Sludge had done to Spike and what she planned to do about it.
Ember’s response was almost immediate. She had every available dragon out looking for him, with instructions to bring him to her as soon as possible. Like Celestia, she was beyond furious. Unlike Celestia though, she was more than happy to let her rage show in full force. You’d never know it looking at her, but having known Tia as long as I have, I could see the fire in her eyes, even now that she’d calmed down. I would even wager that Daybreaker, that twisted alter ego, was weighing in on the discussion.
But what was the point of all this? Sludge might have been a liar and a coward, and a sorry excuse for a dragon, but on the surface, he had committed no crime. Well, you see, that’s where you’re wrong. He had broken the law; he’d committed fraud by false representation. He’d pretended to be Spike’s father in order to lean on Twilight’s hospitality and essentially mooch off of her and Spike. That was a gain obtained through fraud, thus the offence itself.
Now, normally, given, in the grand scheme of things, how low a value the deception was, the matter would normally be passed down to the courts at a more local level. But Celestia has the authority to bring any case, no matter how trivial, up to the level of Day Court. And that was precisely what she planned on doing.
“So what are you planning, Tia?” I asked carefully, once her anger seemed to have fully cooled. “I take it you’re not going to send him down to the Provost Sergeant?” Celestia smiled as she turned to me.
“No, but you’re on the right track, my advisor,” she replied cryptically. “You know how much I value restorative justice.”
Ah, yes. Celestia would always rather you work off your crime that go to jail or pay a fine. But what precisely she planned to do with Sludge, she was keeping close to her chest.
“Well, I’m sure that’s much more than what Ember will be offering,” I replied. “Do you think we’ll have any trouble getting him back here?” Celestia shook her head.
“I think, given the choice between angry Dragon Lord, and angry alicorn,” she said. “He will much rather take his chances with me.”
It was then that one of the other key ponies who might want to chip in their two bits on this whole matter sprang to mind. Well, I say pony…
“What do you think Discord is going to make of all this?” I asked. Celestia started as the same thought crossed her mind.
Discord, for all his misanthropy and cynicism, is very good friends with Spike. The pair have bonded over their Guys Night escapades, with Discord becoming very protective of the little dragon. It’s one of his best qualities brought on by his reformation really. If you mess with his friends, he’ll do all he can to help them. Only problem is that sometimes his ‘help’ can verge on the homicidal. And it was this that worried me. What happens if angry draconequus gets his paw and talon on Sludge before angry dragon or angry pony? Celestia seemed to think along the same lines.
“I fear he may try to take matters into his own hooves,” she said, with no small amount of concern in her voice.
“And why would I do that?” Discord asked, having seemingly appeared from nowhere behind Celestia’s throne. Both me and Tia briefly jumped in fright. Discord did not look in the best of moods.
“Please tell me you haven’t done anything, old man,” I pleaded. Discord held his paw and talon up.
“No, my dear boy, no, of course not,” he replied. “Well, at least not yet.” I tried to slow him down before he got started.
“Look, Spike is fine. Celestia is going to deal with this. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid, okay?” Discord smiled, and not in a nice way. He was doing his best to hide his anger.
“Roger,” he replied. “You know I respect you, and Sunbutt over here. But I think it would be best for all concerned if I dealt with Sludge. I won’t do anything serious, just have a little chat.” I frowned.
“Discord. The last time you had ‘a little chat’ with anypony, the pony in question needed eighteen months of psychological counselling. We both know you don’t need your magic to mess somepony, or some dragon, up.” Discord folded his arms and thought for a moment.
“Alright then,” he said. “How about we have a little race? Whoever gets to Sludge first gets dibs. If you get him, I’ll leave him alone. If I get him, I’ll deliver him here, intact and unharmed, more or less.”
Before I could reply and tell him no, he’d snapped his talons and was engulfed in a flash of light. A moment later he reappeared, this time as what looked like a foxhound. Blowing a hunting horn, he set of a horrible baying and charged out of the throne room, causing everypony in his way to scatter.
“Well, Tia,” I said, turning to my equally alarmed employer. “Looks like we’ve got a good old fashioned manhunt on our hands.”
Not long after Discord left, we heard from Ember that she’d found Sludge. He was more than willing to come back to Equestria for the foreseeable future. It turns out dragons don’t much care for liars, or lazy slobs. He was apparently now flying back eastward, crossing the southern ocean from the Dragon Lands back to Equestria. Celestia dispatched a few guards to try and locate him before Discord did. I on the other hand, had a different plan in mind.
“Why don’t I head back down to Ponyville?” I suggested. “I can go and see Fluttershy. With any luck, she’ll be able to get him to calm down. Maybe we can rope Spike in too. You of all ponies know she’s the only one who really has any power over him.”
“That might be a good idea,” Celestia agreed. “Fluttershy has always been gifted when it comes to calming Discord down, and as he thinks he's standing up for Spike, talking to him might help as well.” I prepared to leave to head to the train station.
“Right then,” I said, turning to leave. “I’ll head down to the station. If I run I can make the half one train.” Celestia now smiled.
“I think I might be able to offer a quicker solution,” she said, powering up her horn.
And with that, the two of us vanished in a teleport. A moment later, we reappeared just outside Fluttershy’s cottage. Teleports have never entirely agreed with me, but in contrast to Discord’s variant, Celestia gave me a smooth ride, and aside from a bit of roomspin, I emerged none the worse for wear.
It was quite the surreal sight; Princess Celestia and one of her advisors going to pay call on a little cottage on the edge of the woods. Given her status, you usually go to the princess, not the other way around. Knocking on the door, we were greeted a moment later by Angel, Fluttershy’s pet rabbit and avatar of pure evil. If it isn’t Fluttershy, he hates it. I swear, he’s more like a cat than a rabbit.
The little fluffy ball of nastiness regarded both immortal alicorn and dimension hopping human with equal indifference, before hopping off to fetch his owner. A moment later, Fluttershy appeared. Her eyes went wide as she saw the two of us, promptly offering a quick bow at the sight of Celestia.
“Oh my! Princess Celestia!” she exclaimed in surprise. “What are you doing here?” Celestia was quick to calm the startled Fluttershy. I just struggled not to be overcome by the adorableness.
“We need your help, Fluttershy,” the alicorn said. “It’s about Discord.” Fluttershy now gave us her full attention as Angel hoped up on her back and continued to stare at us with a look that says his disgust is too deep for words.
“Is this about Spike and Sludge?” she asked. Celestia nodded as I explained.
“I’m having Sludge extradited back to Equestria at Celestia’s request,” I explained. “But Discord has rather got it into his head to go off on some mad scheme to punish Sludge himself. And you know what he can be like once his temper’s up.”
Fluttershy nodded, remembering how he almost threw her friend Treehugger (who I know for certain is somehow growing and smoking whacky baccy in this land of children’s cartoon horses) into a twisted sock puppet dimension.
“I’ve tried to talk him down,” I went on. “But you know how stubborn he can be. We were hoping you might be able to help calm him down.”
Fluttershy thought for a moment. She’s not the most confident girl around. After all, she wasn’t too sure about even reforming Discord in the first place when Celestia gave her the assignment. Still, after a moment, she showed some resolve and looked up from her hooves again.
“I can certainly try,” she promised. “Today’s the day Discord and I have our tea parties anyway. He’s never missed one the entire time I’ve known him. I’ll bet he’ll how up here this afternoon. I’ll talk to him then.”
That was pretty much all we could do. If Discord doesn’t want to be found, you weren’t going to find him. Even Celestia, with all her powerful magic and knowledge couldn’t even guess at where he might be. But since he hadn’t come back with Sludge’s severed head, he obviously hadn’t found him. So there was little to do but wait.
And so the pair of us returned back to Canterlot by the same way we had come. I’m starting to think it isn’t teleports per se that make me lose my lunch, I think it must have something to do with Discord’s magic. As before, Celestia’s teleportation spell did little to bother me, apart from a moment of unsteadiness that quickly passed. Who knows, knowing Discord, there’s a good chance he does it solely to mess with me. Or it could be a by-product of his chaos magic. He might be a jackass at times, and teleport me about when it suits him, but I doubt he causes me to feel unwell on purpose.
Reappearing back in the throne room, Celestia returned to her seat, with me joining her atop the dais. We’d done all we could to deal with Discord, at least for the moment. So instead, she turned her attention back to Sludge and his punishment.
“What are the sentencing guidelines for fraud by false representation, Roger?” she asked me as she sat down. I thought for a moment as I recalled the relevant information.
“Depends on the value obtained by fraud,” I replied. “Anything over a five hundred bits warrants jail time. Below that, you’re looking at fines and community service.” Celestia frowned.
“I think Sludge deserves a bit more than that, don’t you?” she asked.
Now see, here’s an advantage of being an absolutist ruler. If you don’t like the law, you just change it, and nopony stops you. Once again, I couldn’t help but be reminded of Daybreaker; Celestia if one day, she just stopped caring. As it turned out though, Celestia had something a little different in mind.
“I take it that, while he facing criminal charges, he may also be subject to a civil suit?”
“You want to sue Sludge, Tia?” I asked, a smile forming. The alicorn nodded.
“Just enough to make sure there’s no way he can possibly repay it,” she replied.
Now, just for the record, I abhor ambulance chasers. They are a cancer in the legal profession, creatures that live on the pain, misery and suffering of other. However, that wasn’t going to stop me from setting up a case to take Sludge to the cleaners.
“Well, let’s see,” I said, slowly compiling a list of possible avenues for compensation. “First of all, there’s the emotional distress caused by hearing what Sludge had done to Spike, then there’s punitive damages, my own legal costs, of course, and let’s not forget the fees payable by the losing side when a civil case is escalated to Day Court. So I’d say I can reasonably ask for somewhere in the region of...sixteen thousand bits, or thereabouts.”
“Excellent,” Tia replied with a cunning smile. “I’d like you to begin drafting the application right away.” I prepared to head back to my office, but turned and paused at the opened double doors.
“Mind telling me exactly why you want to drain a deadbeat’s bank account?” I asked. “It’s not like you’re going to notice the funds in your coffers.”
“Tell me, my advisor,” Celestia said, sitting up taller in her throne. “What happens when a pony, or dragon, is ordered by the courts to pay monies over to somepony and doesn’t.”
“The court or the claimant can instruct bailiffs, and eventually High Court Sheriffs to recover the debt, through assets if need be.”
“And if the defendant has no assets of value?” Ah, now I saw where she was going.
“Then the law falls back on very old customs; debtor's prison and penal servitude, until such a time as the debt is cleared.” That’s right folks, Equestria still has slavery, it’s just really, really hard to get.
Okay, technically, it wasn’t slavery in the true sense of the word. It was a way somepony with no funds or assets could repay a debt; through labour. Celestia now fully revealed her master plan.
“And I believe Proper Place has been looking to hire a new janitor this past week, has he not?”
“Indeed he has, Tia,” I said with a smile.
And with that, I returned to my office. Sludge was in for quite the mound of paperwork if and when he got here. Criminal charges and now a civil case to answer. He’d really kicked the hornet’s nest.
That afternoon after I returned home from work, still not having heard from Discord. There’d also been no sign of Sludge. Celestia, in the meantime, had gotten bored of waiting, and wanted the matter settled before she was forced to hand things off to Luna who was also...shall we ‘terrifyingly angry’ at Sludge and anypony else foolish enough to catch her attention.
I was still deeply concerned what my friend might do. He wouldn’t kill him, I was fairly sure of that. But there was a good chance that Sludge would wish he was dead by the time it was all over. It was as I was pondering whether or not it might soon be Discord in the dock rather than Sludge, when there was a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” I called to Margaret, who was in the next room marking homework.
Heading into the hall, I opened the front door and was pleased to see my son standing on the stoop. He looked up at me, pushing the brim of his cowboy hat back a little on his head.
“Hey, Dad,” he said in that soft drawl of his. “Ah’m here ‘bout Sludge. Was wonderin’ if y’all had heard anythin’ up in Canterlot.” I nodded and explained what had happened when word reached Celestia.
“Oh, you should have seen it, Bones,” I replied, shaking my head as I invited him in. “I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I’ve seen Celestia that pissed off.”
“Makes sense,” Bones agreed. “She’s known Spike as long as Twilight. He’s just as much her adoptive son as Twilight’s her daughter. So, is there anything you can do against Sludge?”
Ah, looks like Bones had been thinking along the same lines as me.
“I’ve already got something in the works, Bones,” I explained. “Like I said, Celestia was absolutely furious about what had happened. She sent a message to the Dragon Lord demanding, and I do mean demanding, a meeting. Apparently, Celestia wants to haul Sludge back across the border and extradite him to Equestria.”
“What does she want to do?” Bones asked curiously, tilting his head to one side. “Ya can’t put a dragon on trial for just lying and being an asshole.”
“No, but you can do him for fraud by false representation,” I replied. “And the princess isn’t trying to charge him as a criminal, she’s served civil papers on him. According to the writ from the court, Sludge now owes Spike 15,780 bits in compensation and court costs for misrepresenting himself to him. And since he’s got no assets to seize over here, or in the Dragon Lands and so no way to pay it, Celestia’s offered a deal for him to pay off his debt by working in the castle.”
“So that’s what she’s going to tell Dragon Lord Ember?” he asked. I nodded.
“Pretty much,” I said. “From what I understand, the dragons ought to take a pretty dim view of this bugger as well. They may be a little different from ponies here and there, but they don’t much care for lying, Bones. And of course, you’ve got to remember that little Spike is good friends with Ember herself. I wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t as cheesed off as Celestia.”
“Well, it’s good to see that that no good sidewinder is gonna get his,” Bones agreed with pleased expression. “Ah hate to see Spike taken advantage of like that.” I barked out a laugh. Bones always did like to put himself in the centre of things.
“Bones, I think you forget just how many friends Spike has,” I replied. "In addition to Celestia, Luna’s pretty mad too, as is Cadance and the entire Crystal Empire. Then there’s Ember, and of course old Thorax up in the Changeling Kingdom. And let’s not forget his friends that all meet up for his O&O games.” Bones now took on a more concerned expression as he came to the same conclusion I did.
“How...how did Discord take this anyhow?” he asked, sounding somewhat nervous. I rubbed the back of my neck as I recalled his reaction.
“Oh, you wouldn’t believe it, Bones,” I answered. “All I’ll say is I hope some other creature finds Sludge first. He heard what had happened, as he always seems to, and he was baying for the dragon’s blood. Literally too; the idiot turned himself into a foxhound and ran, baying, down the mountain and off toward the Dragon Lands.” Bones now went from unnerved to alarmed.
“Jesus, didn’t you try to stop him or something? Y’all know what Discord can be like. For pony’s sake he almost threw Treehugger into a dimensional portal just because he got a mite jealous. Celestia know what he’ll do to somecreature that hurt his friend.”
“I warned Fluttershy about it as soon as I could. She’s the only one who can really get him under control,” I replied a little defensively.
“Come on, Dad. You’re his best friend!” Bones persisted, channelling his inner Twilight Sparkle. I sighed.
“Alright, I’ll try something,” I said. There was no harm in trying again to talk him round. Now let’s see if he’s still listening.
“Discord!” I called out loudly.
Silence held for a few moments before Discord appeared in a flash of magic. What I saw didn’t fill me with hope. He was dressed like some 19th century explorer wandering about darkest Africa, and had a Blunderbuss in his paw and talon. He still had that same mad look in his eye too.
“Roger!” Discord said, a false smile appearing on his face. He then turned to my son. “And Bones too. I hate to do this to you, but I’m in a bit of a rush right now. Is there any chance I can stop by later?” I waded in to try and calm him down. Maybe the passage time would have cooled his temper.
“I just wanted to ask you about Sludge, Discord,” I said calmly. Discord faux happy expression now darkened to something that genuinely scared me, reminding me that this was a near omnipotent chaos spirit I was talking to, in addition to my best friend.
“Oh? What about him?” I folded my arms.
“Have you found him yet?” Discord now smiled again.
As a matter of fact, yes I have,” he replied. Oh God. That wasn’t the half of it though.
“And actually, you could lend me a hand if I could borrow some of your things.” Snapping his talons, he magicked up a list and a pair of reading glasses.
“Let’s see. I need a chair, a few rolls of duct tape, a stereo player, a copy of a Stealers Wheels ‘Stuck in the Middle with You’ single, a straight razor, a jerry can of petrol, a cigarette lighter, and some place where nopony will be bothered by incessant screaming, or small fires.”
Why, oh why, did I ever let him watch Reservoir Dogs? Evidently Fluttershy hadn’t had much luck getting through to him either.
“Discord, no!” I said sharply, like I was scolding one of the kids when they were little. “Removing ears is not going to solve anything. And I’m not having you end up in the dock charged with Equestria’s first ever murder. Tia’s going to handle this. Trust me, Sludge will get his soon enough.”
Now it was Discord’s turn to fold his arms and throw me an incredulous look.
“Really?” Discord asked, raising an eyebrow. “She’s actually going to punish him, or is she just going to give him a slap on the wrist like that unstable unicorn that hangs around Twilight?”
“She’s actually going to punish him,” I reassured. And she was, only it was going to be a little more proportionate that Discord’s brand of vigilante justice.
Discord mulled that over for a moment. While Celestia can’t necessarily control him, I know that he does have a quiet respect for her, behind all his tricks and occasional flirting. He was genuinely sorry after the whole Tirek incident if those flowers were anything to go by. He also seemed to have calmed down from the state of barely contained rage I’d seen earlier.
Seeing that he was now in two minds, Bones now joined in to offer his two bits.
“Besides, what will beatin’ the tar out of Sludge do anyway?” he asked the draconequus. “It ain’t gonna undo what he did to Spike.”
Discord pondered that, and sensing that he was winning him over, Bones continued.
“Spike said it himself; even if he never finds his real parents, he’s got loads of ponies, and all sorts of other creatures, that love him just as much.”
Discord thought for a moment longer before coming to a decision. Snapping his talons, he removed his hunting garb and returned to being the mismatched nutjob I was familiar with.
“Perhaps the two of you are right,” he conceded. “Besides, that fat slob isn’t really worth my time anyway.” I restrained myself from letting out a sigh of relief at that. Like I said, the last thing I wanted was to see Discord end up on the wrong side of the law because of a dragon like Sludge.
Having calmed the storm, Discord announced his intention to go and see Fluttershy again and tell her that he’d called off his dragon hunt. With that, he disappeared with a flash and pop.
And so, with Discord no longer interfering, Sludge safely arrived in Canterlot early the next morning. I was there to greet him, and serve papers on him. As he landed, or more like crashed if you ask me, since he didn’t seem a particularly talented flyer, I walked over and introduced myself.
“Sludge the Dragon,” I said in an official tone as two guards joined me. “By special command of Her Grand Royal Highness Princess Celestia of Equestria, I do hereby place you under arrest on a charge of committing fraud by false representation.”
The two guards moved to arrest him, putting on a pair of hoofcuffs and Mirandized him. It might be personal for me, Celestia, and a bunch of other ponies, but I was still going to ensure the twit underwent due process. Having completed the criminal charges, I moved onto the civil charges.
“Furthermore, I hereby serve notice in relation to a separate civil action against yourself on behalf of Princess Celestia. Sign here please.”
Sludge, somewhat bewildered, made his mark on the forms, officially accepting the notice of legal action through the civil, rather than criminal, court. That was my job done for the moment. Sludge would be remanded in custody for a few hours before the criminal case could be heard and then, depending on the sentence passed, would then either be allowed to go free, or given some sort of restriction by the court.
I won’t bore you too much with what happened next. I wouldn’t call it a show trial; Sludge was given proper legal counsel and all proper procedures were followed, as with any other criminal or civil case. However, the idea of the criminal charges coming back as a not guilty were pretty remote, considering who was overseeing the case in whose court. Celestia had been careful to note her conflict of interest at the start of proceedings, and hence had me act as a check and balance. While I may care for Spike and consider him a friend, I was also going to make sure Celestia didn’t break the law herself. Sludge got a fair hearing; this was Day Court not some damned drumhead trial.
So the criminal case went our way. Sludge was sentenced (remember, he was convicted in his absence, which certainly didn’t help him) to eighteen months community service. It was also noted that he had been further indicted in a civil case, which had also not gone his way. This, given that Celestia was the claimant, had been heard by Luna. And again, I was there to ensure things were fair and impartial. Sludge, as a result of that, was ordered to pay a little less than 16,000 bits in compensation, court fees, and legal costs. As it was clear he had no funds to pay that, no assets to seize and no wages to garnish, it was decided to add a further eighteen months to his existing community service as a form of penal servitude, as enshrined in Equestrian law.
It actually got some attention from the press, since there hadn’t been such a judgement in over fifty years. While it didn’t undo what Sludge had done to Spike, it did, to a degree, make up for it. It fitted with Celestia’s style of leadership; it was fair and proportionate, but at the same time, gave just a touch of retributive justice.
And so, as the months went on, Sludge became something of a common sight around Canterlot Castle. Celestia ‘hired’ him to work as one of many janitors that kept the castle spick and span. The place doesn’t stay the gleaming jewel in Equestria’s crown just by good luck you know. Behind the scenes, this place has a small army of cleaner, janitors, and maintenance ponies that together rival the Royal Guard in numbers. They all work tirelessly behind the scenes to keep Canterlot Castle running smoothly.
Sludge got a role somewhat suited to his ability to fly; cleaning the large stained glass and panoramic windows in the castle. Typically, this was a job for pegasi, or earth ponies or unicorns with window washer’s platform, but Celestia made an exception in assigning him the task. It ensured that she saw him at least once a day in the castle.
As for Discord, he also got some measure of justice, in his own crazy way. While I’d managed to talk him down from committing serious violence or homicide, he was still rather keen to get some measure of payback for Spike. The little dragon had told him time and again at our Guys’ Night meetings that Discord didn’t need to do anything, and while the draconequus praised the baby dragon for taking the moral high ground, he admitted that he was unable to do the same. While it might have been for selfish reasons, I suppose his heart was in the right place.
So he came to a compromise. Instead of doing something drastic that potentially put another case on my desk, he decided to annoy Sludge. He’d pull minor pranks, by his standards anyway, on the hapless dragon; nothing too malicious, just the sort of stuff you’d expect from a six year old. It was certainly low key enough that he could keep doing them without the concern of Sludge having a major psychotic episode. He didn’t keep it up for too long anyway. After a month or so, he got bored of the torment and moved on to other projects.
Finally, Spike was not too seriously effected by the events. He’d heard that Sludge had been brought back but he was...well, he wasn’t apathetic to what was going on, it simply didn’t interest him. As Discord had put it, Spike was indeed taking the moral high ground. Sludge might have been a cheat and a liar, but he was not Spike’s father, and so Spike saw no reason to dwell on what had happened. As far as he was concerned, a dragon scam artist had come to live with him for a couple of weeks. His bond with Twilight was stronger than ever. It also helped him further establish his own identity.
Spike is, after all, rather unique. He has a foot in both worlds, being somewhat a dragon and somewhat a pony, but not quite fully either. But rather than feeling conflicted by that, he’d used it to forge his own identity, combining the strengths of both species to make himself a better person. He really is an old head on young shoulders that lad.
As to the matter of his real parents, if they really were still out there somewhere, that was something that could be discussed another day. He still held out hope to one day meet them and get to know them, and I sincerely hope he does too. I just hope that, wherever they are, they know that he has survived and thrived, despite his circumstances. I think Dragon Lord Ember put it best; Spike was the very model of a true dragon. And that ain’t something you can say about Sludge.
I mean, what kind of name is that anyway?