//------------------------------// // 387 - Something You'll Miss // Story: Lateral Movement // by Alzrius //------------------------------// The barbed wire encircling his left foreleg was growing tighter. At first Lex had thought he was imagining it. After all, he still hurt all over from how badly he’d overextended himself in cursing Luna. But as he’d studied the resurrection spell stored within the ruby that the Night Mare had given him, the sense of constriction around his leg had slowly increased. It hadn’t reached the point of pain yet, the wire not having contracted enough for the barbs to pierce his skin, but as he begrudgingly turned his face away from the ruby and examined his leg, Lex could see that the wire had indeed clenched ever so slightly harder than normal. Rather than being alarmed, Lex’s first reaction was to feel irritated at the Night Mare’s warning. Because he had no doubt that it was a warning. As unskilled as he was at understanding the motivations of others, the goddess’s intent was nevertheless clear to him now: the longer he waited to placate her, the tighter the wire would grow. There was no clock in the station lobby, and Celestia’s manipulating the sun to cover her retreat made him wary of using the angle of the light shining in the windows as a means of measuring time. But Lex could still estimate how long it had been since he’d spoken to the Night Mare in his dream. For the wire to have tightened as much as it had since then... About thirty hours, he decided. If he hadn’t made a public sacrifice to the Night Mare by then, the wire would reach a point of contraction sufficient to cut his leg off completely. The underlying message was obvious: he could either choose what he forfeited to the goddess, or she would take his leg in payment. The thought made Lex’s lip curl, acrimony for the Night Mare filling his mind. He was sorely tempted to simply allow her to cut his leg off, simply to make it clear that he couldn’t be bullied – the fact that the last few hours would be agonizing bothered him not at all; he had gone through several instances of intense pain, and had no doubt that he could handle such a thing again – but he felt certain that if it came to that, the goddess wouldn’t stop there. She had made it clear, during their most recent encounter, that she was on the brink of giving up on him altogether. If he spurned her again, Lex had little doubt that she would, at the very least, completely withdraw her favor from him. In all likelihood, she’d also make good on her threat of killing him immediately. Neither option was acceptable to Lex. While he’d still be able to walk with only three legs – and even cast spells, since the gestures needed for his thaumaturgical magic only required a single hoof to make – the loss of divine patronage would put him at a disadvantage in the future. Worse than merely losing access to the smattering of divine spells that the Night Mare was already granting him or the power to command certain creatures, he’d be in no position to exert any influence, let alone control, over the spread of religions that would inevitably make their way to Equestria now that Everglow’s deities knew of this world’s existence. Even less desirable was how he’d have no protection against the depredations of those other gods; as bad as it was to have the Night Mare’s threats hanging over his head, Lex knew that no other god would dare act against him directly so long as he had her backing, lest doing so start a war. Without that he was completely exposed, since he knew he couldn’t hope to fight a god…not with his current level of power. And that was the better option. If the Night Mare did decide to simply strike him down, then all would be lost. Not only would his life be over, but Equestria would at best remain stagnant under the irresponsible “guidance” of those feckless alicorns, and at worst would soon fall to ruin now that it had come to the attention of various gods and monsters from other realms. Which meant that he needed to make a sacrifice to the goddess. But of what? “Something valuable to you, something you’ll miss” had been the Night Mare’s demand, but Lex had to admit he was hard-pressed to think of something that met those criteria. He valued his intellect, certainly, but giving up even a fraction of that was completely out of the question. His mental acuity was a fundamental part of his identity, and changing that was utterly anathema to him. Even if that wasn’t true, compromising his intelligence would cripple his ability to lead, and he doubted the Night Mare would want him to give up something that would enable him to continue making good on his promises. His horn then? He placed high value on the dark magic it granted him, and since it was something he’d gained only recently it wasn’t as though his sense of self depended on it. But no, that was unacceptable as a sacrifice as well. With Severance having been banished, Lex knew his ability to use thaumaturgical magic was crippled, meaning that he’d need to rely on his horn’s dark magic even more. Losing it would leave him near-totally incapacitated insofar as magical ability went, and that would render him unable to face the next threat to his rule. Given that he’d just been congratulating himself on how his defeat of the Royal Sisters established his monopoly over the use of force that was necessary for a government to sustain itself, losing his horn was also completely out of the question. “Then what else of mine do you want, you impatient nag?” murmured Lex as he looked at the barbed wire around his leg. The question wasn’t an idle one, since he wasn’t in the habit of talking out loud to himself. Rather, he’d been genuinely asking the Night Mare, since he had no doubt that she was aware of his actions. But despite her eagerness for a sacrifice from him she was apparently unwilling to be more specific about what she wanted, since no response came that he was aware of. At least, not from the Night Mare. Nosey, however, began to stir at the sound of his voice. “Mmm…” she groaned, her eyes fluttering open. “Lex? Did something happen?” Sighing, Lex telekinetically put the ruby he’d been studying back in his saddlebag, knowing that he’d have little chance to study it between now and tomorrow night. “No,” he murmured as he did. “Go back to sleep.” But Nosey sat up, yawning as she telekinetically lifted her glasses to rub a hoof over her eyes. “How long was I out?” she muttered groggily. “Did you get any rest?” “I’m fine-” “This again?” interrupted Nosey with a groan, letting her glasses fall back down onto her muzzle as she frowned at him, still bleary-eyed. “You remember what happened the last time you said you were fine? You tried to get up, and I had to tackle you to stop you from hurting yourself, and you, er…” The last of her sleepiness disappeared as she suddenly flushed. Nor was she the only one, as Lex recalled the kiss that they’d shared – no, the kiss that he’d given her – after she’d pulled him back down. Even now, the memory of it sent a flutter through him, though he fought to keep it from showing. But at the same time, he felt a surge of excitement, wanting to share that moment with her again. Despite that, he still found himself hesitating. Although Sonata had dropped her objection to bringing Aria and Nosey into their relationship, that didn’t make broaching the subject any less awkward for him. “Nosey-” “Lex-” began Nosey at the same time. An awkward silence fell as each of them quieted down, waiting for the other to speak. For Lex, the lull in their conversation was acutely uncomfortable. He hated feeling so uncertain, knowing that there was a proper combination of words and/or actions that would make this encounter proceed the way he wanted it to, but having no idea what it was. Maybe it would be better to let her begin, he thought uneasily. But that didn’t sit well with him either; passivity was unbecoming of somepony who wanted to lead, and he’d decided earlier that he needed to be more decisive with the girls. At the same time, if she just gave him some indication of what she was thinking… “You go first,” murmured Nosey shyly, still red-faced and looking down, as though she suddenly found the bench they were lying on fascinating. So much for that, then. “Alright,” replied Lex, trying to remain calm despite how quickly his thoughts were flowing, trying to figure out what to say to her. “I…” Knowing he was out of time, Lex reached for the topic related to his feelings for Nosey that he felt most certain of. “I’m aware that…I never expressed my regret for not having done a better job protecting you.” “Protecting me?” For a moment she looked mystified. Then she winced, her ears folding back. “Oh. From Xiriel.” For his part, Lex felt encouraged by how easily she was able to say the devil’s name. Not too long ago that would have sent her to pieces. “I know that you suffered horribly during your captivity, and I wanted to make it clear that, as the pony in charge of securing everyone’s safety, I take full responsibility for that.” “…as the pony in charge of everyone’s safety?” echoed Nosey faintly, a crestfallen expression on her face. Lex had just enough time to feel confused before Nosey seemed to rally, giving him a smile that seemed oddly pained, as though she were forcing the expression onto her face. “No, it was my fault. I’m the one who snuck in to see Block Party all by myself.” Lex frowned at that. “That doesn’t mean-” “I don’t want to talk about this.” Standing up, Nosey climbed down from the bench, sighing before she turned to look at him. “I appreciate what you’re saying, but it’s really fine.” She smiled again, but Lex knew the expression was a mere shadow of her usual grin. “You rescued me, the same way you would have done for anypony that was in trouble, right?” Lex blinked, finding it odd that she would seek confirmation for that. “Of course.” “Right. Right…” Her smile wavered for a moment, but then she fixed it back into place. “Well, don’t worry about it anymore, okay? I don’t blame you for what happened. All I feel is grateful for your help.” She turned away before he could formulate a reply, heading toward the door. “I’m going to go make sure everything’s alright with everypony else.” Lex watched her go with a sinking feeling, certain now that his attempt to initiate another intimate moment with her had been a failure. Watching her leave, he replayed the conversation in his mind, paying particular attention to her responses. There had to be some sort of clue there, some hint as to why things had turned out like this. “No, it was my fault. I’m the one who snuck in to see Block Party all by myself.” “I appreciate what you’re saying, but it’s really fine.” “All I feel is grateful for your help.” That last one sounded oddly familiar, and it took him a moment to figure out why. Cross-referencing Nosey’s feelings with what had happened during the fight with Xiriel brought to mind something from during the fight. Something that the devil, rather than Nosey, had said. “This one has feelings for you, you know,” cooed the epicene voice of the central head. “She let it slip when I was extracting information from her. She used to think of you as nothing but a way to advance her career, but now you’re so much more to her. Does that mean nothing to you?” “It means something to me.” Lex groaned the words as he stood up, forcing them past his lips as his body protested being made to move. “It means a great deal to me!” “Lex?” Not understanding what she was hearing, Nosey turned back around, her eyes widening as she saw him getting to his hooves. “What are you doing?!” In the blink of an eye, she was by his side again. “Lay back down!” But Lex wouldn’t be deterred, giving her a determined look. “Xiriel said that you have feelings for me,” he declared, daring her to deny it. Nosey went rigid in response. “Y-you remember that?” She slapped a hoof over her mouth an instant later, but it was too late. The look of mortification that crossed her face then was total, and she turned to run, but Lex grabbed hold of her before she could. In his condition, however, there was nothing he could do but overburden her, and the two of them went tumbling to the ground in a heap. Groaning at the rough landing, Lex couldn’t help but note that at least things were proceeding in a more positive direction now; the last time he’d kissed Nosey had been preceded by a fall just like this one. Nosey didn’t seem to recognize that herself, however, already scrambling to get up. Although his muscles were screaming at him, Lex managed to keep her pinned down. “Nosey, stop!” “Lemme go!” she yelled, looking on the verge of tears for some unfathomable reason. He could already feel his grip on her slipping, and Lex knew that he had seconds before she escaped. Not wanting her to go, he said the first thing that came to mind. “I have feelings for you too!” Nosey’s struggles stopped immediately. “Wh-what?” “I have feelings for you too,” he repeated. “Romantic ones,” he added, just to be sure. Once again blushing bright red through her coat, Nosey couldn’t meet his eyes. “What…what about all that stuff about rescuing me because you’re in charge of everypony’s safety, and you would have done it for anyone, and all that?” “That’s all true,” admitted Lex. “But when I was fighting Xiriel…when I was losing the battle, and I heard you scream, I realized…” He trailed off then, suddenly feeling embarrassed. What if he was saying the wrong thing again? But Nosey didn’t seem to think so, looking up at him. “Realized what?” “…nothing,” he murmured, starting to pull away from her. He had to reevaluate this properly, he couldn’t just- “Lex!” Now it was Nosey who refused to let him go, wrapping her legs around him. “Realized what?” Hesitating for just a moment, Lex plunged ahead. “I realized how much I cared about you. I thought it was friendship, but…” Again he couldn’t go on, feelings of awkwardness and self-consciousness making him suddenly unable to speak. Nosey, however, seemed captivated. “But…?” Not knowing how to put into words how he felt, Lex could only fall back on the moment that had passed between them earlier, and brought his lips down to Nosey’s. He felt her tense under him and then suddenly relax, her eyes closing as a low moan came from her throat, and all of a sudden his hesitation was gone. Just like before, everything suddenly felt perfect, his indecision evaporating to be replaced by absolute certitude that this was right. When the kiss ended a few seconds later, Lex had no trouble saying what he was feeling. “But now I know that it’s more than that,” he murmured. “Lex…” Nosey’s voice was just as heated as his own, looking up at him rapturously. “I care about you deeply,” he continued. “Having you here with me is one of the most important things in my life. Being with you is more valuable to me than anyth-” “Something valuable to you, something you’ll miss” had been the Night Mare’s demand. “No,” whispered Lex, his eyes widening in horror. “No no no!” “Lex?” called Nosey, a worried tone in her voice. “What is it? What’s wrong?” But he didn’t answer her, too overwhelmed by what he’d just realized. All of a sudden he knew exactly what the Night Mare wanted him to sacrifice.