You know those mevenings where you wake up and feel like something is amiss? A feeling that perhaps something within your world is not the way it should be? My mevening started like that. At first I thought I had been robbed or something, but I quickly ruled that out as I have keep nothing of value in my house. Well, nothing besides you, my button collection, and that crap I found last night. So I decided to make sure nothing was missing.
That search went on for about twenty minutes before I realized something odd; my face hurt like an ugly pony’s mirror. Curious, I decided to take a gander at my grand appearance and was met with the horror that is my slightly swollen face. As it turns out, that lesbian had a really strong buck as the spot she nailed (Sex pun aside.) on my cheek is seriously a little fatter than the other side. I’m lucky I’m not sporting a lopsided face or something disgusting like that.
Don’t worry your pretty little pages about me. It hurts like depressed teenager’s life, but I’ll live. However, if you’re feeling pretty sore about what that filly-fiddler did to your bestest friend’s cheek, rest assured that she is probably in considerably worse pain. Trust me when I write that; she’s a pegasus and I’m an earth pony, my legs were built a lot stronger than hers.
Aright, now where was I? Oh yes! I hadn’t even started before I started whining like a mare at chipping a hoof.
This nightday is going to be pretty weird. You see, Carty was not returned to me by Big Mac as usual. That means something must be wrong and that has made me a little bit worried. Carty may be a jerk, but he’s been loyal since day one. I’ll need to make sure everything is okay at some point, an easy task considering that either Mac or Applejack run their apple cart in the market place. I’d have to leave rather early to catch them before they leave, but this only works into my favor. You see, my bookish friend, there are three items on my agenda this nightday. The first should be obvious; I’ll drop by the library with the crap from last night and squeeze Twilight out of some bits. What should come as a surprise is the second objective; I’m going to pay a visit to that horrid seamstress and see if I can’t get her to make me a bow-tie thing. Yeah, that’s right, I liked wearing that thing. Too bad the lesbian had to go and rip it like I was some pretty little filly waiting to be bedded. That brings me to my final item of importance; I’m gonna send the lesbian some flowers as a peace offering.
Hey Booky, do you know what time it is? EXPLANATION TIME!
As much as I detest socializing with the boorish mares (Pretty much anypony not named Twilight, Applejack, or Mayor Mare...nah, never mind, I detest socializing with ALL mares.) I feel that it would be in my best interest to take the high road here.
Remember how I said that the lesbian is the Element of Loyalty? Well, that means she is friends with the other Elements of Harmony. That means she is friends with Twilight. Twilight, as you might remember with your bookish memory, is Princess Celestia’s personal student. This means that by forging a peace with the lesbian, I can hopefully avoid the ire of the Princess. I’ll probably still get attacked by a few angry ponies or something like that, but I can handle the average pony. Remember, I’m not a stranger to getting in unfair scraps. I am, however, a little out of my league when it comes to royal guards.
Booky, I’m really not going to enjoy this nightday. I haven’t considered that Twilight might be peeved to know that I hurt one of her friends. However, her smarts (Or lack there of.) should at least make it easier to convince her that I was on the defensive in the fight.
Convincing Applejack of the same shouldn't hard (Ha, I wrote hard.), either. I’m aware she and the lesbian are friendly. Hay, they probably fuck each other every day. What’s going to work in my favor is that Applejack seems to understand me pretty well…or…well…about as well as a mare can. She gets that I don’t trust mares and that I have some quirky (At the very least.) social habits not normally found in your average pony. That should at least lend to her keeping to herself about the matter and remaining polite as usual. Who knows, I might even buy some apples this nightday. However, there’s always the chance that Big Mac will be running the stand this nightday, which would relieve me of the duty of convincing that bitch of anything.
I’ve got to go do all of that now. No time for breakfast, which sucks considering how vastly ruined my P-Day was.