BIZARRO POV
The sleepover at Twilight's house was overall a pleasant time as the girls decided to let me join in on their sleepover activities after Rarity quickly patched up my stripped shirt. I had absolutely no idea where she got the extra fabric from, but at that time I didn't care enough to ask.
We played a few games like 20 Questions, Truth or Dare, and Blind Animals. Needless to say, I was really hating the fact that my X-Ray vision ONLY worked on lead. Trixie’s a great girl but she was terrible at giving instructions to somepony who’s blindfolded.
After playing a few more games, talking, and just overall having a fun time, we all hit the sack sometime around one in the morning.
After everyone woke up the following morning Applejack, Rarity, and Trixie left early to head to Sugarcube Corner while Twilight went to the Train station to wait for Spike. I had decided to stay behind at the library for a bit as I was attempting to read a children’s book, or technically a foal's book, in secret. I was hoping that I could try to teach myself from the ground up. I believed I would be able to read again once I got back to Earth, but if that weren't the case then I wanted to be prepared. Plus, I was getting tired of asking Trixie what the words on our takeout menus were.
Eventually I just gave up and threw the book through the floor in annoyance. After covering the new hole with a convenient throw rug I went outside and headed towards Sugarcube Corner. As I was walking through the town however, I noticed that everypony was locked in their own houses. The only ones on the street at the time were myself and an oddly familiar tumbleweed.
I saw a few of them peek out from behind their curtains and heard all of their hearts racing in fear. I didn't see anypony outside until I rounded a corner and saw a mysterious figure wearing a long brown cloak digging in the ground with their hands. I was curious as to why they were outside and why everypony was inside, so I decided approach them and ask if they knew what was going on.
“Hello, Me am Bizarro.” I told the mysterious pony. My sudden approach seemed to startle them as their head turned back at break neck speeds, their eyes then widened in surprise as they looked at me before they seemed to calm down after a moment.
“Oh! Sorry, I did not hear you approach, I mean you no reproach but you were even more quiet than a cockroach. Ah but where are my manners, if I don’t introduce myself it would upset the great planners.” The mysterious mare said as she stood up and removed her hood to look me in the eye.
Surprisingly, she was a bit taller than most ponies in Ponyville, actually standing up to my chin if you didn’t count the mohawk, which made us about the same height. She had light grey skin like Ditzy Doo and wore a Zebra Skin tank top and short shorts, both of which looked a size too small for her figure. She was also wearing several gold bands around her wrists and her neck which complimented her golden earrings nicely.
She held out her hand for me to shake and, as I accepted it, she introduced herself. “Hello Bizarro, my name is Zecora, and may I say that you have quite an interesting aura.”
I raised an eyebrow at that statement as she began to study my hand inquisitively. “What am Zecora mean?”
“The power within is you is very odd, something comparable to a god. If I was religious, I may worship you. However, in our culture, to praise more than one god is taboo.”
“Ummm… Me thank you?” I said as I slowly removed my hand from her grasp.
“I am sorry if I insulted you my friend, the intention of my compliment was not to offend. It is hard for me to talk to somepony new, you are the first to not run away when I come walking through.”
“Why that? You do something bad?”
“No, the masses only run away in fear because I am somepony who was not born here.”
I was both surprised and offput by her casual remark. "Wow... That am sound kind of racist.”
“Racist? If you mean Speacist then I agree, it is partly the reason why I live in the Everfree. But I do not blame them for their ignorance, they are scared because one pony is a lying nuisance. The Everfree is vast and overgrown, and I am something new and unknown, thus the townsfolk leave me alone and listen to their town liar drone.”
“That sound sad… You am really all alone?”
“Yes, but do not shed tears for me my new friend, for I have seen the signs and soon this fear shall end. The spirits tell me things will soon change and I will no longer be seen as strange. How and when this will happen I cannot tell, but the end results will surely be swell.” Zecora rhymed with pride and joy in her voice.
I smiled at Zecora’s optimism. “Bizarro am happy to hear that. Me wish Zecora luck.”
“Thank you Bizarro, but if you don’t mind I’d like to continue our conversation tomorrow. I must get home quickly to finish some chores after that my home will always have open doors.” She told me.
“Thank Zecroa. Me hope you am have good day.”
“And to you as well, hopefully this day will not give you hell.” She said as she waved goodbye and headed towards the Everfree forest. I was about to walk away before a certain pink blur tackled me to the ground.
“THAT WAS AWESOME BIZZY! You showed that Evil Meanie whose boss and ran her out of town!” Pinkie Pie said as she straddled my chest. I’ll be honest, I was never in such a compromising position before in my life so I really didn’t know how to respond. Thankfully Rainbow Dash came to my rescue and pushed Pinkie Pie off of me.
“Yeah, Yeah, Biz is awesome and cool, but we need your help!” Rainbow Dash said as she tried to pull me up by my arm and failed.
Getting up off the ground I looked at the group of six ponies and dragon that surrounded me. It was Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Trixie, Rainbow Dash, Spike, and… Pinkie Pie again? I looked back at the spot where I saw Pinkie Pie first only to see the space she was previously occupying was empty and had that same damn tumbleweed go past it. I had no idea how or why she did that and I firmly decided not to question it. “What wrong?” I asked the group.
“Applebloom’s gon missin’! Ya gotta help us look, Bizarre. She could be in danger!” Applejack told me with panic and fear laced in her voice.
My eyes widened worryingly before I nodded my head firmly. "Don't worry Applejack. We am find her." I reassured her.I wasn't going to rest until those two were reunited.
ZECORA POV
I was busy walking home through a path where danger does not roam as a thick fog rolled in, and made things outside of it hidden. Although I could barely see in front of me, I knew something followed into the Everfree. I could sense this thing was not malicious but was rather quite ambitious.
I decided to ignore it for a while and wear an ignorant smile. If this being truly wished me harm then it would have set off an alarm. From what I could feel it was just curious, thus I had no real reason to be extra cautious.
Then the sound of shouts filled my ear and I turned around to see something I fear.
“Applebloom!?” A voice called out in concern not noticing they were standing in a dangerous fern.
“You get back here right now!” The orange one yelled, ignorant of the dangers those plants held.
My eyes widened in horror and I attempted to holler.
“Beware, beware you pony folk, those leaves of blue are not a Joke.” I tried to warn, but many there looked at me with scorn. I backed away into the embrace of the mist, hoping that I could go home and assist.
“Ya-you keep yer creepy Mumbo Jumbo ta yerself, ya hear!?” The one in the Stetson said, with eyes that wished me dead. Many others shouted in agreement but Bizarro didn’t seem to like my treatment. Two other mares seemed to share his despair at my treatment which was quiet unfair.
“Beware, beware.” I said as I quickly got out of there. I hoped that Bizarro may make them see reason, although I didn’t know if it would happen this silly season.
I also worried for Bizarro. Because of those plants, he and his friends would face great sorrow. I wouldn't let such a travesty easily pass, else I be lazy and sit on my bare ass, and as a shaman I refused to be lazy, even if those mares may drive me crazy.
I could not fully blame them for their judgment being so hazy, they only hated me because of rumors spread by a lying mare named Daisy. But by helping my new friend bring his suffering to an early end, I may kill two birds with one stone by dispelling the rumors before they grew into incurable tumors.
TWILIGHT POV
I looked at the girls with a deadpanned expression as they talked about being “Cursed.”
“You guys, there’s no such thing as curses.” I told them.
“Actually Twilight, Trixie knows that curses are real. While they aren’t used much in Equestria, they do exist. Bizarro was even cursed to speak like he does now.” Trixie stated.
“Even if curses real or no, Zecora no use it on us. She seem like nice mare.” Bizarro added.
“But she’s evil! Eeeeeviilll~. I even have a song! It goes, She’s an evil enchan—“ I interrupted Pinkie Pie with a silence dome over her while she went through her song. I had absolutely no desire to hear that song more than seven times in one morning.
“Bizarro’s right, about the curse anyway, Zecora didn’t curse us because she can’t. Real magic comes from within, it’s a skill you’re born with. Curses are just an Old Stallion’s tale.” I told them.
As I was explaining this, everypony except Bizarro and Trixie walked away from my explanation. Applejack, who was holding Applebloom in her arms, looked back at me after she walked a few feet away.
“Jus’ you wait Twilight. Yer gonna learn that some Ol’ Stallion tales are true.” Applejack warned me before she left with the other girls.
Bizarro looked back in the direction Zecora left before he left the Everfree forest with me and Trixie following close behind him. Aside from following Zecora halfway into the forest nothing interesting happened for the rest of the day.
That night however, I thought about what Trixie and Applejack said and the rather dark implications they have if curses are indeed real.
There’s no such thing as curses. There’s no such thing as curses….
I repeated in my head until I finally dozed off and was welcomed into Luna’s dream realm.
The next morning came far too abruptly as I got out of bed and greeted my reflection in the mirror. My mane was a complete mess from tossing and turning in my sleep.
“Heh. Maybe Zecora cursed my mane.” I said jokingly as I ran a mane brush through it, only to stop and stare at my newly disfigured horn.
It was awful! Instead of acting like an exterior bone, it was drooping over my forehead and covered in blue gangly polka dots. “OR MAYBE SHE CURSED MY HORN!” I shouted. It seemed as though my scream was loud enough to wake Spike up.
“What? Twilight, what’s wrong?” Spike called out from my room. I didn’t respond as I ran downstairs and looked through all of my books. I spent the next few hours searching through every book in my library that I thought could be helpful.
“No, no, no, no, NO! None of these books have a cure!” I shouted, as I went through yet another medical book.
“Ugh! There has to be a real reason besides curses! A sickness? An allergy?”
“Or, it could actually be a curse.” Spike suggested.
“Spike, despite what Trixie and the others said, curses are not real.” I told him. “Now help me find a book that could help with… This.”
“Weeelll…. Hmmmm. How about this one?” Spike asked as he held up a green book titled Supernaturals, natural remedies and cure-alls that are naturally super.
“Supernaturals? Spike, this isn’t a supernatural problem. This is a biological problem.”
“But what if you’re wrong, Twilight. You heard Pinkie Pie’s song. Don’t you remember the ‘Pinkie sense’ incident? She’s usually right about stuff like this.”
“Thi Tham thfhit!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Her tongue was sticking out of her mouth and covered in blue polka dots just like my horn.
“Pinkie, what happened?” I asked. I didn’t get a coherent response from her as she was just spitting as she struggled to talk with an inflated tongue.
Suddenly, Rainbow Dash was banging against the window as she tried to come in until she finally managed to fly through the door and crash into one of my bookshelves. “Zecora cursed us!” Rainbow Dash said as she laid in a pile of my books.
“I’m afraid I have to agree.” Rarity said as she walked through the door. Her mane and tail were overgrown and completely covered her body with a thick layer of purple hair.
“I hate ta say I told ya so, but I did! It’s a curse.” A shrunken version of Applejack said atop Applebloom’s head as they walked in behind Rarity. I noticed that Applejack was wearing a small blue suit with a red sash and gold colored epaulettes, possibly a dress made for a prince doll that Applebloom had on hand. After them, Fluttershy entered my house looking more shy than usual.
“What about you Fluttershy? What happened to you?” I asked.
Fluttershy was quiet for a few moments before she finally spoke up in a deep baritone voice. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
Spike suddenly bursted into a laughing fit as he rolled on the floor before Trixie and Bizarro entered the room.
“Please tell me you two are ok?” I mainly asked Bizarro but Trixie decided to respond first.
“Trixie has to wear a suppressor ring on her horn to prevent her from turning objects into Tea cups. It was Bizarro’s idea.” She said as Bizarro walked past her and the rest of us.
“Bizarro, did anything happen to you?” I asked him. As I turned around I was surprised to see Bizarro looking at the book Spike offered me a bit ago, while wearing reading glasses that were a few sizes too small for him. He didn’t avert his eyes from the book as he spoke to us.
“Why yes, it appears that the components of the flower have greatly increased my intelligence and speech pattern, allowing me to properly communicate with you all for once. I must admit that while this is a very pleasant change of pace from my normally broken vernacular, I cannot go on like this for much longer without injuring myself severely. Unfortunately, I am honestly distraught that I must surrender my new abilities so that we may all live, but it is a necessary sacrifice.
“From what I was able to gather from this book on toxicology that I procured from your shelf, Twilight, it appears that we are all currently under the effects of a rare and dangerous type of poisonous plant known as Plantae Bane-Jest or, as it more commonly known as, Poison Joke. The effects of which are seemingly random depending on who it affects, causing one or more of the affected party’s attributes to change vastly.
“Though the common pattern appears to be that the Poison Joke will often take something and make it the opposite. In your case Twilight the plant has effectively nullified your ability to use magic, while greatly amplifying Trixie’s magical prowess to the point where she needs a suppression ring to stop her spells from turning everything into Tea cups.” He explained. Everypony except Trixie was slack jawed by Bizarro’s new found wisdom and dialect.
“Now, as this book on supernatural remedies and Toxicology has stated this plant is a type of poison, meaning that prolonged exposure to it without necessary treatment can and will lead to death. According to the reports collected by Poison Joke victims, an affected party’s life span without a proper cure ranges from two months to one year, with the longest of all the results being one and a half years. However, that result was a somewhat special case scenario as the affected victim worked with poisons, toxins, and other dangerous substances which strengthened their overall immunity to the plant.
“But even then, the mare eventually died of severe organ failure, resulting in her lungs being forcefully ejected from her body after she literally coughed them out. Unfortunately for her, and others like her, there was no known cure at the time she and the other victims were affected by the plant. However, recent medical advancements have found that some herbal remedies do have the capability to cure victims of Poison Joke, but only if the cure is applied before the five-month mark, assuming that the affected party lives that long.” Bizarro then closed the book with one hand creating a loud booming noise that rang out in the room and caused us all to tense up a bit as he casually continued on.
“So, I suggest that we rush over to Zecora’s residence and see if she has the necessary components to produce a remedy for us to use. An hour or so of soaking in the cleansing herbal bath should remove any short term or long-term effects caused by the plant, not including incidents or injuries such as Rainbow Dash getting head trauma or Applejack getting stepped on.” He said as he lifted Applejack up and placed her on his shoulder.
“So, now that I’ve explained that Zecora did not put a ‘hex’, 'curse', or any other type of negative magical charm or spell on anypony, and was instead attempting to warn us about the dangerous effects of the Poison Joke, may we please go so that we can rectify this situation?” He rhetorically asked as he walked to the door and opened it. We all just dumbly nodded in response, completely unable to speak.
"Excellent. Spike, Aplebloom, you two should stay here until we return. Even though Zecora isn't dangerous I can only assume the Everfree is. Can you do that?" He asked.
"Sure thing Mr. Zarro, just take care of mah... Lil' sister." Applebloom said as she shot a mischievous look at Applejack.
"Don't worry, I will." Bizarro said as he walked out the door.
As we all followed Bizarro outside I could hear spike mumbling something that sounded like, “Brainio...”
BIZARRO POV
FUCK. POISON. JOKE.
My head was hurting the entire morning after those damnable plants. The pain I originally felt when I arrived to this world came back with a horrible vengeance as my brain was quiet literally trying to explode out of my skull.
I tried to ignore the horrible throbbing pain as I grabbed a few plants and herbs that the book said were necessary for the cure. While this wasn't enough to stop the pain, it did somewhat help. Thankfully the group of Mares following me was quiet for the most part as we trekked through the Everfree Forest. However, the peaceful silence was soon interrupted by the ever-so inquisitive Twilight as she fidgeted in place before she finally asked a question.
“So…. Bizarro, now that you’re… smart, do you think you can tell us all a bit more about where you’re from? It might help us get you back home.” Twilight said.
I thought about it for a moment before I shook my head. No reason in terrifying them with multiverse theory and all that. “I apologize Twilight, but there are some things I know that might terrify you all.”
“Aw come on, it can’t be that bad.” Rainbow Dash said with a dismissive wave of her hand, which caused her to slap herself in the face due to her terrible coordination.
I knew they would probably pester me the entire time now that I could actually talk, so I decided to give them the basics. “It’s like I said, a man whom I believe was called the Seller or something sent me to Equestria after I purchased my stone medal and kryptonite ring for a cheap price. I somehow fell unconscious and woke up in the Everfree forest.”
“oh… Well, don’t worry Bizarro. I’m sure the princesses can get you home.” Twilight said.
“Yeah. You’ll see yer mama Lex soon ‘nough. I know it.” Applejack said while she was perched on my shoulder.
“Lex Luther isn't my mother, and both he and Superman are males.” I explained.
“Wait… So then, they're yer parents?” Applejack asked.
“Mmmm. Technically they are? It’s a long story.” I told her.
“Wait…" Rarity started to speak, trying to look past her long mane so she could see me. "But that would mean… Bizarro, are you an Amastallion?” Rarity asked.
I cocked an eyebrow as I looked at her. “What do you mean?”
“Amastallion, a mythical culture comprised entirely of strong and powerful stallions who are said to live on the other side of Equis. It would explain so much! How strong you are, how powerful the magic caster was, and how both of your parents were stallions! They're such romantic stories, and now it's real!” Rarity exclaimed with glee while Twilight suddenly gained a hungry look for knowledge in her eyes.
So, a gender bent Wonder Woman then. huh. This world gets… more interesting every day.
“Wait, how can two stallions have a foal?” Applejack asked.
“I'm not an Amastallion and, technically, they didn’t have a foal. When I said I was created I meant it literally.” I explained, but as soon as the words left my mouth I noticed something. I was trying to say “Bizarro was created” But instead I said “I was created”.
“Lifhahllheea?” Pinkie Pie spat out.
“Yes, a failed clone.” I explained. Everyone stopped walking behind me as they stared at me with wide eyes.
“A… a c-clone?” Fluttershy asked in her new deep baritone voice. I nodded and allowed them all to process this new revelation.
"No way, you're a clone?!" Rainbow Dash shouted.
"Yup." I stated simply.
“Wait, I’ve read about some practices of cloning, but all clones are either temporary or weaker than the original. How are you so strong then?” Twilight asked.
“It’s because…. Because… *sigh* Screw it, it’s because Superman is, in every sense of the word, an Alien.” I explained. “When I told you that Krypton blew up I meant the Planet, Krypton, blew up.” All of them gasped in horror at this new revelation of news. Whether that was because I told them Superman was an alien or because an entire species died was unclear to me. Although, judging by Pinkie Pie’s deflating mane I would have to guess it was the latter for her.
“That… that can’t be true.” Trixie said as she stared at me with tears in her eyes.
“It is true. Superman, or rather Kal-El, was born on Krypton a year or so before Brainiac, an Artificial Intelligence designed to help the planet, either blew Krypton up or didn't warn the Kryptonian's about an apocalyptic natural disaster that would destroy the planet. Kal-El’s parents, Jor-El and Lara, knew of the impending doom and tried to warn their fellow Kryptonians. But they were ignored, so Jor-El went to work on a spaceship that could get far, far away. However, he was short on time and could only make one ship that could save his son.
“As the planet was exploding, Jor-El and Lara sent him away on a spaceship to another planet inhabited by a species that looked identical to Kryptonians so he could blend in and live a normal life. There, he changed his name to Clark Kent after being adopted by John Kent and Martha Kent and raised on a farm in a town called Smallville. Years later he moved to a city called Metropolis and created the persona of Superman to be a hero.”
“Like… Like a super hero?” Rainbow Dash asked, bewildered by what I had just told her.
“Yes, and I’ll talk about it later. But for now, my skull feels like it’s about to give birth to a Xenomorph and I’d really like to go to Zecora’s to get a remedy made.” I told them as I turned around and began to walk towards the sound of faint chanting in the distance.
As we were nearing the exotic and rhythmic sounds we came across the demon flowers that caused this whole mess. In a moment of absolute rage I used my fire breath on them to incinerate them all. Everypony with me was completely slack jawed by the sight of my fire breath but didn’t say a word while we were walking.
“ith thpth thiyt?” Pinkie Pie… Asked? As we came across a literal tree house, similar to Twilight’s abode back in Ponyville.
Zecora’s house was carved into the tree and used the roots underneath to keep the tree house raised slightly above the ground. The roots of the tree were absolutely coated in moss, mushrooms, and a few species of insects that traversed the mossy wood. The tree branches at the top were still covered in leaves which told me that this tree, much like Twilight’s, was somehow miraculously alive despite being hollowed out.
Several vines and bottles attached to ropes were hung from the tree branches like clothing on a laundry line. And, most noticeably of all, was a green and red mask that hung over the door that reminded me of African Art back on Earth. It was some type of green bull or cow with red eyes, green horns, and a snout with two angular holes for the eyes. All in all, this house looked otherworldly and magical to me, which was somewhat ironic since it actually reminded me of Earth.
It reminded me of the little Fairy Village on Macworth Island in Falmouth, Maine, that I used to visit when we went to see our relatives. It was just a small area tucked to the side of the trail where kids could build tiny houses out of twigs and sticks for friaries to live in. Not all of the designs were practical, and only half of the small houses had roofs. But all of them were so imaginative and creative to look at.
It felt like an actual fairy village with all the unique and beautiful houses that the children made. Let it be known that when a child’s mind runs with no limitations, children can make some of the most magical things ever.
“What a lovely home.” I remarked truthfully with a warm smile on my face.
“Really? What does it look like? I can’t see it.” Rarity asked.
“Ith thouks thethfil. Thpfbeeethle.~” Pinkie Pie remarked.
I ignored whatever Pinkie Pie was trying to say as I walked up to the door and gently rapped my knuckles on the hard wooden door which appeared to be made of a different type of wood than the rest of the tree. After a bit of shuffling inside, Zecora opened the door with a gleeful smile on her face.
“Ah, hello Bizarro, I had a feeling I’d meet you later today. It seems the Poison Joke affected you all in some strange way. How have you been faring after meeting a plant so uncaring?”
“I’m doing adequately. I would be even better if I didn’t have a horrible headache, but aside from that I can’t really complain. Especially since the others were affected in ways that could cause irreversible damage if they aren’t fixed soon. However, I believe you might be able to rectify out current situation. After everypony apologizes.” I said before shooting a look at everypony behind me as they all held their heads down in shame and apologized. I was actually surprised to see Trixie apologizing too since, as far as I knew, she didn’t really do or say anything bad.
“Your apologies I accept, however could you perhaps help me make my remedy perfect?” Zecora asked.
“How can we help?” Twilight asked in response.
“I see you have a few ingredients with you, but there are a few that and I will need more to make due. There are some that can be found in Ponyville stores, but when I go there everypony closes their doors." Zecora said.
"Oh, well we can help with that then. Thank you Zecora." Twilight said.
We spent the next few hours gathering the rest of the ingredients and convincing the citizens of Ponyville that Zecora wasn't an evil witch that came to steal their foals. Pinkie Pie made sure to tell off some Mare named Daisy for breaking her Pinkie Promise when she said she was telling the truth. For some reason, the idea of anypony willingly breaking that promise sent a cold shiver down my spine.
Once we got everything gathered we were able to use one of the tubs in the a Ponyville Spa to soak in. I would have preferred getting separate tubs but that would have taken too long and I was desperate to get rid of my severe headache. So, all the girls and I changed into bathing suits, mine being made by Rarity, as we soaked in the tub. It wasn't much but it was able to cover everything up to my knees, something that I couldn't say for the others whose swimsuits left very little to the imagination. While we were entering the tub I noticed that they all had tattoos on their thighs.
Trixie was sporting a tattoo that looked exactly like the one that was on the flag of her wagon, Applejack had three apples, Twilight had some elongated purple star surrounded by five smaller white stars, Rainbow Dash had a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt protruding out of it, Pinkie Pie had three balloons, Fluttershy had three pink butterflies, and Rarity had three blue Diamonds. I wasn't sure why they had tattoos there, but I decided not to pry since I'd have to admit I was staring at their thighs.
An awkward silence filled the room as each of our respective ailments slowly went away. Applejack was the first as she returned to her normal size in another room. Even though she was cured, she joined the rest of us in the main tub after changing into her own swim suit. Next was Rarity as her hair started to fall out but left enough for her normal mane size. The rest of the order went Trixie, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and.... Pinkie...
"OHMYGOSH!IT'SSOOOOGOODTOTALKAGAIN!Youguyshavenoideahowbaditwas,wellexceptmaybeyou,Bizarro,butnottalkingwashorrible!Ohthere'ssomuchIneedtosaylike,'eat plenty of cupcakes' and, 'Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie.' and 'How did you breath fire earlier?' now that's a doozy of a question, huh?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"Now I barely understood half'a that, but I did hear the last one. Would ya mind explainin' how ya did that Bizarre?" Applejack asked me.
"Yes, could you be a dear and explain it? I'm sure we're all curious." Rarity added.
My shoulders slumped lower into the tub as they all looked at me for an answer. "That am part of Bizarro power from Superman. Remember Bizarro say me am perfect imperfect clone of Superman?" I asked.
"I remember you said you were a clone, but what do you mean by 'perfect imperfect'? That sounds contradictory." Twilight asked me.
"Bizarro am opposite of Superman. Superman am have cold breath, me am have fire breath. He am have laser eyes, me have ice eyes. So, me am perfect imperfect clone." I told them.
"So then you were made his opposite on purpose?" Rainbow Dash asked.
“No. That am mistake Luthor make. Bizarro am uns... unstab... unstobe... Bizarro am made bad. Me was made to be weapon against Superman, but Bizarro am more than that. Bizarro am not gun.” I said, quoting the Iron Giant and his beliefs. In a way, Bizarro was just like the Iron Giant, a weapon that didn’t know any better until he got friends.
“Well, I’m not sure what a gun is, but I know you’re not a bad Stallion, Bizarro.” Twilight told me.
“So, what else can you do?” Trixie asked.
"Me am fly and be strong. Bizarro can't do much else." I admitted, not wanting to get into my Telescope vision, super smell, super hearing, and all of that other stuff.
"So then flying is a natural ability then?" Twilight asked in a surprised tone.
"Yes. Gravy-Tea am light for Bizarro, so me am fly." I explained. A few hairs pooped out of place in Twilight's mane as she stared at me with wide eyes.
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" She yelled. "You don't have any propulsion to keep you in the air, and it's not magic because you're allergic to it. At most a lowered gravity would make you jump higher but flying makes no sense!"
For the first time in my life, I silently cursed comic book logic for placing me in this awkward situation.