//------------------------------// // Bizarro's Bug. // Story: BIZARRO Am NOT iN EQUESTRIA // by Hotel_Chicken //------------------------------// TWILIGHT POV It took a few hours, but letter number twenty-three draft four was my best letter to Bizarro. If that letter didn’t make him want to answer my questions, then I did’t know what would. I sent the letter via a teleportation spell that would make it magically appear in Bizarro’s bedroom. Since it wasn’t a weapon or anything dangerous, it was able to get through the hotel’s anti-teleportation enchantments with relative ease. They were mainly used to make sure some pony didn’t either teleport a bomb inside a building or teleport themselves inside and rob the place. It sickened me to think of unicorns using their magic for such disgusting things. Magic should be used as a creative force, not a destructive one that can severely harm or even kill ponies. Thankfully enchantments like the anti-teleportation enchantment were making it harder and harder for unicorns to use their magic for evil. As I cleared my thoughts of all those bad ponies, I finally left my room and went downstairs, which allowed me to be greeted to a rather interesting sight. On the far right side of the room, Rainbow Dash was splayed over my couch and covered in what looked like Bizarro’s red tattered cape, while Spike, who was on the other side of the room, was sleeping on Bizarro's lap. Spike was nestled into Bizarro's lap like a kitten while Bizarro was sitting upright, propped up against a book shelf and surrounded by piles of Power Ponies comics and toys. I didn’t have long to question the scene before me as I heard a knock at the door. Once I got to the door and opened it, I saw Trixie on the other side looking to her left and right nervously as she was biting her fingernails. “Hello Twilight, Trixie was wondering if Bizarro has been here. He didn’t come back to the hotel room last night and Trixie is somewhat worried.” Trixie said as she stroked her mane. “Oh, don’t worry. Bizarro is right over there. I’m not really sure when he came over though. By the look of the melted candles, I’d say he’s been here all night.” I told Trixie as she visibly seemed to relax. “By the way, how did you know Bizarro may be here?” I asked. “Well, Trixie was reading some of the letters you sent Bizarro asking him how he was able to fly and lift the Ursa Minor. So she assumed you may know where he is.” She explained to me. My cheeks started to burn up at the implications. She didn’t read those letters, did she? I’m not a bad mare, I was just desperate for answers. That’s all, I’m not weird or anything. Besides we’re both consenting adults! “Um, T-Trixie you didn’t happen to read l-letters twenty through twenty-two did you?” I asked nervously before Trixie shook her head and alleviated my worries. “No, Trixie only got up to letter four. Trixie does have to ask though, you do know that Bizarro can’t read right?” She asked me. My eyes shot wide open. “BIZZARO CAN’T READ?!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, causing everypony who was previously asleep to wake up. Rainbow Dash leapt off of the couch and hit her head on the ceiling causing her to fall back down to the ground. Bizarro had a similar reaction as he shot up like an arrow, sending Spike flying towards a wall. Luckily, I was able to catch Spike in midair with my magic. “Wha-wha? Bizarro am asleep! Go, yes.” Bizarro said as he shook his head. “No. Me mean Bizarro am awake. What happen?” Bizarro asked as he looked around the room. “Sorry Bizarro, that was me. I was just really surprised when Trix—” I didn’t get to finish my sentence as Spike burped up a letter from Princess Celestia. Bizarro and Trixie stared at me wide eyed as I went over the contents of the letter. “Am… Am Spike just burp letter?” Bizarro asked nopony in particular. Rainbow Dash flew over to Bizarro’s side and leaned her elbow against his shoulder. “Yeah, ya get used to it. Spike is able to burp dragon fire to send and receive messages from Princess Celestia.” She explained. “Wait, she talks to Princess Celestia?” Trixie asked surprised. “Well duh. Twilight is Princess Celestia’s student after all.” For some odd reason Trixie paled slightly at the news. As she was doing that I let out a gasp as I finished the Princess’ report. “Oh No!” I exclaimed. “What wrong?” Bizarro asked me. “Bizarro, I need you, Dash, Spike, and Trixie to stay here while I get the girls.” I told him and the others present. “Why? What am going on?” Bizarro asked as he took his hat off and held it in his hands. “I’ll explain when the girls are all here. Just know that I’ll be back soon.” I said before I teleported out of the library to inform the town and get the other girls. RAINBOW DASH POV Twilight and the other girls came to the library a bit after Twi teleported away. Twilight was rushing over to her book shelf and stuffing her infinite purse with thick books as I was doing some cool poses with Bizarro’s cape. I’ll admit, I mainly did it because it felt nice and smelled like Bizarro, but I also did it because it looked badflank on me. I wonder if I can get Rarity to make me a cape. Once Twilight shoved the last book she needed into her purse, she gathered us all in the main room of the library and told us what was going down. “Ok girls. I just received a letter from Princess Celestia that the cloud of black smoke that appeared in the sky didn’t come from a fire. Instead, it’s coming from a dragon.” We all gasped when Twilight said that. Even Bizarro seemed taken aback by this news. “What in the name of all things Apple Cinnamon is a full-grown dragon doin’ here in Equestria?” Applejack asked. “Sleeping.” Twilight told us. None of us really knew how to properly respond to that answer so we all just chose stunned silence. “According to Princess Celestia, he’s taking a nap. His snoring is what’s causing all of this smoke.” “He should really see a doctor. That doesn’t sound Healthy at all.” Pinkie Pie said. “Well at least he’s nor snoring Fire! What are we meant to do about it?” Rarity asked Twilight. “I’ll tell ya what we’re meant to do.” I said, flying up a little higher so everypony could see me. “We’ll give ‘im the boot! Take That!” I demonstrated by kicking a wooden Bust of somepony in the center of the room. “And That!” I shouted trying to kick the Bust again, but Twilight grabbed it in her magic and moved it out of the way. While Twilight wasn’t happy with my kickflank plan, I could tell Bizarro liked my idea. “We need to encourage him to take a nap someplace else. Princess Celestia has given us this mission, and we must not fail. If we do then Equestria will be covered in smoke for the next 100 years.” Twilight explained. Fluttershy let loose a horrified gasp after hearing that. “Hmph. Talk about getting your beauty sleep.” Rarity joked to Pinkie Pie. “So, you am plan on fight dragon?” Biz asked. “No. Like I said, we're going to encourage him. If that encouragement involves a little force than it’s just forceful encouragement.” Biz nodded his head in agreement as he pressed his fists against his waist and struck a confident pose. “Then Bizarro am go too.” "Oh no Bizarro." Twilight told him. "You may have taken down an Ursa Minor," Biz winced at the mention of the bear. "But this is a fully-grown dragon. The girls and I will take care of it. This is a mission for the Elements of Harmony. Not the Elements and one civilian." "Bizarro am no civil villain. Bizarro am strongest stallion. If dragon there, me fight. No am let friends get hurt." Biz told her with confidence before he walked towards the front door. "Point Bizarro in direction and me fight dragon." Biz said as he opened the door and walked outside towards the train station. But, after he was a few feet from the door be began to stumble about until he fell to the ground. "Bizarro! Are you ok?!" Trixie asked. "Bizarro... am good... Just... just need moment to... lie down.” He said in between large breaths of air. "What happened Biz?" I asked him. "Bizarro head am hurty and. *cough cough.* Me am feel… not so Bizarro." Biz tried getting up again only to fall down to his knees in a furious coughing fit. "Bizzar… Bizarro am be good when get to dragon. *Cough!* Just give Bizarro minute." He weakly said. "Sorry Bizarro, but there's no way we're letting you leave Ponyville in your condition. The other Elements and I will deal with the dragon, and when we get back we'll find out what's wrong with you." Twilight said as she enveloped him in her magic to lift him over to the couch I slept on in her library last night. His coughing fit only seemed to get worse as was laid down. "N-no! Bizarro am no let f-*Cough!* F-friends go be in danger!" Biz told us as he tried to get up again, but failed miserably as he fell onto the floor near the couch. Applejack walked over to Biz and put him back on the couch. "No way Bizarre. Ah know yer a tough cookie, but whateva's the matter with ya is only gonna get worse if we let ya come along. Sorry Bizarre, but yer stayin' right here even if I have ta hog tie ya to this couch." I wouldn’t mind seeing that. "Trixie will stay here with Spike and Bizarro. Hopefully together we can help Bizarro." Trixie said to our group as we all nodded our heads with a new-found determination. Even Fluttershy had a determined look on her face. “Alright everypony, gather supplies quickly. We’ve got a long journey ahead of us. We’ll meet at the train station in an hour and then walk up the mountain after we get off.” Twilight told us before she walked down to her basement. “Alright girls, you heard her, the fate of Equestria is in our hands.” I said flying around the room to get everypony pumped up. “Do we have what it takes?” I asked the group as they all gave positive responses and left the library with a confident stride. I gave a quick glance to Bizarro before I left. “Get well soon Biz, because as soon as your flank is off that couch we’re gonna have a race!” I told him as I flew out the window. BIZARRO POV Life is paaaaiiiiinnnn…. “Sorry again Trixie, I wanna help out Bizarro, but I need to go to Fluttershy’s house and take care of the animals while she and the girls are gone.” Spike said to Trixie as he went over to the door. “Trixie and Bizarro understand. Go take care of Fluttershy’s pets. Trixie and Bizarro will hold down the fort here.” Trixie said as she waved Spike off. Once he was gone Trixie closed the door and searched the house for extra blankets and pillows to add to my tomb of blankets. “Triiiiick, Bizarro am no need so many blankets.” I told Trixie as she put another blanket on me. “Yes you do, Bizarro. Your skin is absolutely freezing cold. If you weren’t talking to me, I would think you were a corpse.” Trixie said as she slipped back to talking about herself in the first person. “Hey Trick, why you am talk funny sometimes?” I asked her. “Oh, it’s just a habit at this point. Trix—I-I mean, I accidentally shift between the two without even noticing.” “When Trick start talk funny?” “Hmph. You’re one to talk, Mr. Pot.” Trixie said in fake annoyance as she wore a smug smile. “If you really want to know, it started when I heard a riddle. A mare asked me what was mine but other ponies used it more than I did. When I guessed wrong she told me that the answer was my name. So, I tried to use it more often. It eventually wormed it’s way into my performance and then into my actually personality. I’ll admit, I became very enveloped in the role of The Great and Egotistical Trixie.” She finished with a more low-spirited tone. “Trick am not Ego…Eggot… Trick am not that word.” “Really? So boasting my own fake feats isn’t egotistical?” She asked rhetorically with a wave of her hand. “Not for reason Trick am do it. Trick do it to make ponies happy, not make you happy. Those two colts love Trick more than Trick love herself. And all the other children am love Trick’s funny way of talk. It am only little less weird than how me talk.” I reassured Trixie. “Wow… Thank you Bizarro, that means a lot to me.” Trixie said with tears in her eyes as she stared at me. I smiled at Trixie before I noticed the bags under her eyes. “Why Trick am look sleepy?” “Oh, I was waiting at the hotel for you last night. And when you didn’t come in I got worried so I didn’t go to sleep.” “Aww, Bizarro am sorry to scare Trick. Bizarro no know how long me be here.” “What were you doing by the way?” Trixie asked me. I managed to free an arm from my blanket and pillow prison and gestured weakly towards the bookshelf holding Spike's collection of Power Ponies comics. “Rain-Bo, Spike, and Bizarro am read comics last night. Spike and Rain-Bo read words for Bizarro and me look at pictures.” “That was nice of them… would you…. would you like me to read you some comics too?” Trixie asked, I nodded weakly in response. Trixie got up from her seat and grabbed a handful of comics to read to me. As she read the stories, she used her magic to make some of the images on the pages move. They were nice, but I wasn’t able to enjoy them too much as every time she did it I would break into a serious coughing fit without fail. I think my body may actually be allergic to fun. What's the point of super strength if I feel like shit? As I laid on the couch looking at the images and listening to Trixie’s impressions of the characters I was reminded of how Lilly and I would hang out whenever she was sick. I would make her some microwavable chicken soup and secretly add some garlic powder to it to help her immune system a bit. She hated garlic powder with a passion, so I often had to hide it under other things like oregano and other stuff. It took her a while to find out I was secretly adding it to her soup without her knowledge or “permission”. Please, I was the older brother, like I needed permission to take care of my sister. As siblings we both had two jobs, either care for the other or torment them relentlessly. It’s what siblings do. I remembered this one time my throat was so bad that I literally couldn’t talk for three days straight unless I ate something warm like soup, and even that was only a temporary solution. Lilly sought to take full advantage of my weakened state as she started asking to do a bunch of stuff after saying, “If it’s ok if I do X don’t say anything at all.” I attempted to stop her to the best of my abilities at the time, which amounted to nothing because I was bedridden for those three days. Still I’d take that over whatever the hell is happening to my body. It’s cold but also itchy all over, like a million ants are just casually crawling on my skin on a winter's morning. At some point later on into story time session, I fell into a dreamless sleep like every other night since I appeared in Equestria. I awoke the next morning as Twilight opened the door, letting the sun hit my face as she did so. “Hey Bizarro.” Twilight said. “How are you feeling?” “Bizarro... am feel better.” I said as I sat up on the couch with a new-found sense of energy. I looked around the room and noticed Trixie had fallen asleep on one of the tables with her face lying on a Power Ponies comic as she softy snored. I smiled when I saw her sleeping there, it warmed my heart to know that she was there for me. Getting one of the dozens of blankets that previously entombed me, I wrapped it around her shoulders. “I must say, Bizarro, I’m impressed that you recovered so fast.” Twilight said as I finished covering Trixie. “What am Bizarro say? Me am full of surprise. Also, how dragon fight did go?” I asked her. “Oh it went pretty good, Fluttershy was able to ‘encourage’ the dragon to find a new spot to nap.” I raised my eyebrow at that. “Shy fight dragon?” “Encouraged. And technically yes, she stared him in the eye and essentially told him to buck off. It was actually pretty impressive. Who knew she had it in her.” “Me can imagine so. Shy am scary when mad." I said as I shivered at the memory of her berating me. "Well, if you am no mind me go on run for bit. Me need stretch legs.” I told her as I placed my flat cap firmly on my head and opened the door. I was going to make the most of the day after spending so much time lying down. "Hey Biz! You're up!" Rainbow Dash shouted as she flew above me. "You might have beaten me at arm wrestling, but I bet you can't beat me in a race!" She proclaimed. A small and confident smile made its way to my face at I looked up at her. "Oh? You am bet?" TWILIGHT POV Once Bizarro left the Library I quietly snuck past the sleeping Trixie and made my way down to the basement. Before the girls and I left to deal with the dragon, I set up a scanning spell that would check Bizarro's vitals and body temperature every fifteen minutes. I was hoping that this information would not only tell me if he was healthy or not, but also explain how he was able to perform all those tricks with Trixie and how he was able to fly without wings. As I looked at the results from my upgraded magic spectrometer, my eyes widened in horror at the recorded data. I... I don't believe this. "I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" I exclaimed as I looked at the results again. Sure enough, they confirmed it. "This is impossible... According to these test results Bizarro has no magic in his body at all. If anything his immune system is trying to fight off the magic to prevent it from affecting him. He's essentially allergic to magic!?" This was the literal definition of impossible. I went over the recordings again and again as I tried to make sense of the results. For a pony to be allergic to magic would be like if I was allergic to air. Magic is in everypony and everything. Even the other species on Equis have some latent form of magic inside of them that manifests itself in different and unique ways. For there to be anything, especially a pony, to exist without magic in them is unheard of. Apparently my shouting was enough to wake Trixie up as I heard her lightly knock on my basement door. "Is that you Twilight? Is everything ok down there?" Trixie asked. I teleported upstairs next to Trixie with the data I collected and began to explain the situation to her. "Bizarro is allergic to magic! I had a machine set up downstairs with a timer spell that would scan Bizarro's vitals and magic levels every fifteen minutes. These results show that Bizarro doesn't have any magical signature inside of him. Not only that, but his vitals seemed to weaken whenever the magical pressure would increase inside the library. Please tell me you didn't use magic near him!" Trixie looked absolutely mortified after I finished my explanation. "His coughing... Trixie thought it was odd when he would only cough when she levitated the comics... I.... I didn't know..." Trixie finished with tears in her eyes. "Oh this is bad! If he's allergic to magic but is constantly surrounded by it then he might die! In fact, how is he not dead?!" I asked in my hysteria. "And then there's all that stuff that he can do! How can he do magic if he's allergic to it?!" "This is bad... Is there a book or something here that might help?" Trixie asked. I knew that I didn't have any books on this type of subject, a pony having no magic would be a book topic that I would have memorized by heart. But that didn't stop me from trying to look for something anyway. As Trixie and I were looking through the bookshelves, Fluttershy and Spike came into the library. "Thank you again for taking care of my animals, Spike." Fluttershy said. "No problem. It was kinda fun." Spike said, he then looked around and noticed us looking through the book shelves. "Hey, is everything alright?" He asked. "NO! BIZARRO MIGHT DIE AND I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING!" I shouted. Both Spike and Fluttershy's eyes widened. "WHAT!? What's wrong with Bizarro?" Spike asked. "Twilight found out that Bizarro is allergic to magic. How this is possible, neither Trixie nor Twilight knows. Now she and Twilight are trying to see if there are any books about the subject." Trixie explained to them. "He's allergic to magic? How is that possible!?" Spike asked. "We don't know!" I said as I continued looking over the shelves. "Is there anything I could do to help?" Flutershy asked. "Yes, go find Bizarro and see if you can get him back here. He said he was going on a run before he left." I told Flutershy. "Trixie will go as well, with any luck Trixie and Fluttershy will find him." Trixie added as they both rushed out the door. "Spike." I said, gaining Spike's attention. "I need you to take a letter." I told him. Be safe Bizarro. I don't want you to get hurt out there. BIZZARO POV I don't think my pride could have been more hurt at any point in my life than at that moment. I call shenanigans on Rainbow Dash. She totally cheated with that Sonic Rainboom. Caused by breaking the sound barrier my ass. I broke the sound barrier while we were flying but rainbows didn't come flying out of my butt. I also knew her "impartial judge" Scootalo, lied about Rainbow Dash beating me when we both got to the trees at the end of the race. My hand passed the tree line first dammit. But, I took it in stride and did what any rational person would do. I challenged her about a dozen more times. I won a few, she would win others, but most importantly of all, she also gave me some much needed instructions on how to fly properly. Turns out that a lot of how flying works depends on the slight adjustment of your shoulders. After we tied for the fifth time we both decided to take a break, while I wasn't too tired Rainbow Dash wasn't used to doing so many Sonic Rainbooms in a week, let alone a single day after walking up a mountain. I, like an idiot, tried to rile her up and say she just didn't want to lose again and bet that if she won I would do whatever she asked and she would do whatever I asked if I won. I was planning on having Rainbow Dash be a test dummy for some of Trixie's magic tricks after I won. So, we had one final race for all the marbles to see who was the fastest out of the two of us. Surprisingly, it turned out that she was faster. And so, I had to do whatever Rainbow Dash said. Walking with a new sign hung around my neck, Rainbow Dash walked next to me with a smug smile on her face. "Say it." She commanded. I sighed as I resigned myself to my fate. "Rain-Bo am fastest flyer in Equis. She am faster than Bizarro." "And?" She asked. "And better than Bizarro." "Aaaand?" Truthfully, this shouldn't have aggravated me as much as it did. But the fact it gave Rainbow Dash so much pleasure really rubbed me the wrong way. "And she am cooler than Bizarro..." I grumbled out. "You know it, Biz!" She said, as she playfully punched my arm. "Now say it again!" I let out another sigh as we continued to walk, "Rain-Bo am fastest flyer in Equis. She am faster, better, and cooler than Bizarro am..." "Ok, now say that you're a big ol' brotherly stallion. Oh! And that you can never be as marely as me." She demanded. I rolled my eyes at her weird demands. If Trixie thought she was egotistical, then Rainbow Dash was the god of egotistical ponies. Thankfully, salvation came in the form of a timid yellow winged pegasus with pink hair. "There you are Bizarro! Are you okay? Twilight said... said..." Fluttershy started, but trailed off when she noticed the new sign around my neck, causing her cheeks to burn brightly. "Bizarro!" Trixie shouted as she ran over towards us with ragged breaths. "Am Trick ok? You am look tired." "Trixie should be asking if you're o...." Trixie stated, but also seemed to stop as she noticed my new accessory. Both of their reactions were odd to me. I didn't understand why a sign that said I lost to Rainbow Dash would cause them to look at me like that. "Um, Bizarro? Why are you wearing a sign that says 'Rainbow's Bi—' " Fluttershy started, but once again stopped, this time interrupted by Rainbow Dash. "We had a bet and he lost." She said before she pointed a thumb at my sign. "He has to wear that sign and tell me how awesome I am." She said with her voice full of pride. Trixie was still blushing before she ripped the sign off of my neck and ripped it apart. "Hey!" Rainbow Dash yelled. She would have said more, but a poignant glare from Trixie stopped her. "Bizarro, how are you feeling?" Trixie asked me. "Me am good. Pride am hurt but me am fine." I told her. "Oh thank goodness!" Trixie exclaimed before she looked at me nervously. "Ummm... Bizarro, I'm not sure how to say this but... Twilight found out something bad." She said. "What? Am she ok?" I asked. Trixie shook her head. "It isn't about her, it's about you. Twilight found out that you're... allergic to magic." Trixie told me. "Oh, yeah. Me guess Bizarro am." I said as I tried to play it off. Part of me really hoped that that was a normal thing here. "YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO MAGIC?!" Rainbow Dash yelled. And like that all my hopes were dashed away. "It am not so bad. Other stallions and mares am allergics to other things." I told them, thinking about those people back on Earth who were allergic to the Sun or snow. I called bullshit on the idea of people being allergic to snow when I first heard about it, since I believed that snow was frozen water, but it turned out a person could be allergic to it. Go figure. "It is bad Bizarro! What if you died?!" Trixie asked me as she grabbed my jacket and pulled me closer. "Bizarro am fine Trick." I told her as I held both my hands up in a calming manner. "Magic where Bizarro am from am... Different. It am not used by heroes much. Lot of bad guys like Mr. My...Mix... Mr. Mix-el-pet-lick am use magic for bad. So, heroes fight bad magic baddies." "So... Did one of these magic casters make you allergic to magic?" Trixie asked me. "... Yes?" I lied, hoping that that was enough to stop their questions. "Magic am bad for me, and it am hurt Bizarro. But me am good now." "Then how were you able to fly or do all that other cool stuff like fight an Ursa?! That has to be magic!" Rainbow Dash asked. "That am... weird to explain. Bizarro am like plant. Me am get strong from sun." I explained to them as I glossed over the flying part of her question and hoped she wouldn't notice. "L-like a tree?" Fluttershy asked with an odd twinkle in her eyes. "Kinda. It am hard to explain. Me not sure how it am work. Only that it do." Fluttershy tapped a finger on her chin as she made a thoughtful expression on her face. "hmmm. So... You only got sick because the dragon smog was covering the sky, which in turn blocked the Sun. And since the ash from dragon smog has latent magic in it, it caused your immune system to weaken and allowed you to get sick." Fluttershy summarized. We all looked at her with surprised expressions which caused her to blush and absentmindedly play with her hair. "I know a lot about plants." She said. "Shy am on nose." I told them. "So this is normal for you then?" Trixie asked. "Yup. No need am worry. Dragon am gone and sun is in sky. Bizarro am good." I reassured them. "You're positive?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Yes, no need am worry. Bizarro am fine. Also, me am want this to be secret." "Why?" Fluttershy asked. "Bizarro am not want many ponies know. Bizarro.... Am embarrassed." I lied once again. Truthfully, I just didn't want word to get around about my weakness so ponies could use it against me. Ponyville seemed like a nice enough town, but after hearing about other towns and cities like Manehatten and Applewood, I din't want gangs or thugs to know I was an easy target. Especially if they tried to force me to be a weapon. I wan't sure if mind control magic was a thing in Equestria or not, but I knew enough about the concept of magic to know they must have a long list of spells that used to be used for torture. I'd much rather be brainwashed by magic than be brainwashed by torture and magic. "Hey Biz, you shouldn't be embarrassed by that. A unicorn did something evil to you. It's not your fault." Rainbow Dash explained. "Still... Am we keep this tight lip? Me no want word to get around." "If it'll make you feel better, then I'm sure the girls and I can keep your secret." Fluttershy said as she patted my arm reassuringly. "Thank Shy." I told her. After Trixie and Fluttershy were sure that I was ok, they left to go tell Twilight about my "allergy". Which left me with a concerned looking Rainbow Dash. "You am ok?" I asked her. She was silent for a bit as she tried to collect her thoughts. "It's just... You are ok, right?" She asked. "Yes Rain-Bo, me am fine. Other ponies am off worse." "Good, because you still need to wear this." She said as she handed me a new sign. I reluctantly took it and hung it around my neck. I considered asking her what it said, but I had a feeling that she wouldn't really tell me. "Now, tell me how great I am." Rainbow Dash said. "Ugh... Rain-Bo am fastest flyer in Equis. She am faster than Bizarro." I said as I began to walk away. "And?" Rainbow Dash playfully asked. I was happy that she wasn't making a big deal out of this. And if having fun was her way of coping with it, then I'd gladly play the part of a fool for a friend. "And better than Bizarro." "And?" "And she am cooler than Bizarro..." "Aaaand?" She asked. I could tell it was going to be a looooong day.