BIZARRO POV
My eyes slowly began to adjust to the darkness of Sugarcube Corner and I attempted to find someone. “Hello? Anypo—” Only to be interrupted when the entire room lit up and everypony who was previously hidden jumped out and yelling, “SURPRISE!”
I was so startled that I jumped up into the air, causing my head to crash through the second floor.
TRIXIE POV
I was surprised when everypony yelled out surprise but that was quickly replaced by immense horror as I and eveypony else looked up at Bizarro’s torso sticking out of the ceiling. Surprisingly Bizarro just held his thumb up.
From the second floor everypony could hear a muffled, “Me good.” I let out a sigh of relief as Bizarro planted both his hands on the ceiling and pushed up, allowing him to dislodge his head from the second floor.
“Uh, sorry about ceiling Pinky.”
“ARE YOU KIDDING! THAT WAS AWESOME!” Pinkie Pie said as she bounced around us like a pinball.
“I mean, we were all like ‘shhh, shh, they’re coming’ and you were at the door looking all worried, and then you came in saying, ‘hello?’ and then we were like ’SURPRISE!’ and then you hit the ceiling like Rainbow Dash did except your head went through the ceiling! That was awesome!” Pinkie Pie shouted as she finally stopped bouncing.
“So, were you surprised?” Pinkie Pie asked. I quirked an eyebrow at the odd pink Mare as Bizarro chuckled.
“Yes Pinky, Bizarro am surprise. Again, me sorry about ceiling.”
Pinkie Pie waved a hand. “Meh, don’t worry about it. Just sign these legal forms saying that you won’t sue the owners of Sugarcube Corner or its employees for injuries that occurred on the premises and we’ll call it Even Evelyn.” Pinkie Pie finished as she held up a stack of twenty papers to Bizarro. Bizarro paled slightly at the massive pile of paper work, an interesting sight to see since his skin was chalk white.
“Ummm… Can we do ve… verb…. Can we use words and no paper?”
“Okie Dokie Loki, just Pinkie Promise not to sue us. Cross your heart, hope to fly and stick a cupcake in your eye.” Pinkie Pie said as she did a series of odd hand movements which Bizarro imitated. Once that was settled everypony seemed to relax a little bit. I looked back at the hole in the ceiling and was really impressed. For a stallion, Bizarro could do things that even most mares would have problems doing.
“HEY BOZO!” And speaking of most mares who have problems, the obnoxious rainbow maned mare from my performance stood up on a chair and pointed a finger accusingly at Bizarro.
“We’ve got unfinished business! You! ME! ARM WRESTLE! NOW!” She yelled as she pulled out a chair and placed her elbow on a table. Bizarro rolled his eyes and went over to the mare.
I was a little bit aggravated when most of the audience was watching Bizarro arm wrestle during my performance, but even I had to admit that it was something I had a hard time taking my eyes off of. Thankfully though, I had gotten over my infatuation with Bizarro’s strength… mostly… and was able to help myself to some cake as I walked around the party.
I talked to a few mares who wanted to know if I was available for Birthday parties and a few who wanted to know as much about Bizarro as possible. I scheduled the parties for the parents but didn’t answer any questions about Bizarro. I knew he told me about his dad Superman and his mom, Lex I think was her name, but I wasn’t sure how much he’d be willing to let others know about.
For all I knew this could have been something he just tells somepony when they ask him, or they could be deep and personal stories that he doesn’t just freely give away. I know it’s weird but… part of me hoped it was the latter of the two.
Because if it was, then Bizarro was showing me a deep level of trust, and that has to mean something right?
I was brought out of my thoughts by two colts who were at my performance approached me. The shorter of the two, who was a blue unicorn with an orange mane and tail, had brown eyebrows, and predominant buck teeth, walked up to me. He was wearing a Black T-shirt with his Cutie mark on it, which was a pair of half white and half grey scissors. He held up a muffin to me. “Here ya go, oh Great and Powerful Trixie. It’s a muffin with extra hay I made just for you.”
“mmmm. Hay…” The taller and… slower of the two said. He was a golden colored colt with an aquamarine mane and tail. He wore a green V neck sweater, a red shirt underneath, and tan pants. His Cutie mark was a purple and pink snail on the right side of his chest.
I accepted the muffin somewhat reluctantly as they both looked at me with wide eyes. “Oh, thanks… Um, can Trixie help you?”
The blue unicorn, whose name was Snips if I remember correctly, slightly bowed. “Oh tell us another story oh Great and Powerful Trixie.”
“Yeah, tell us about how you vanquished the Ursa Major!” The taller one added on. I think his name was Snails.
I really didn’t want to go through the story again. They already asked about it several times during my performance, and to be honest, they were asking questions that quickly poked holes in my story. Like “when it happened, what time of day, was anyone else with me, where was the mayor?” All sensible questions but also questions I didn’t prepare for.
I gave them a fake confident smile as I spoke to them. “Sorry, but Trixie is far too exhausted from preforming feats beyond imagination. Come back in the morning and I shall regale you with the story.” When I should properly think of better half-baked lies for your questions.
They both bowed again as they slowly backed away. “Oh, of course Great and Powerful Trixie.” Snips said.
“Anything you say, we are at your beck and call!” Snails said as they continued walking backwards until they ended up bumping into the dragon I saw earlier at my performance. They looked like they were talking about something but I couldn’t hear them.
They were alright colts. Odd and somewhat creepy colts, but hey they’re only children.
My attention was brought back to Bizarro as a group of Mares and Stallions around him all cheered. Apparently Bizarro had once again beaten the heckler by a knock out. I wasn’t even aware you could win an arm wrestle by a knock out.
Bizarro strutted over towards me with a new-found sense of confidence after securing his current winning streak.
“Well, somepony seems to be enjoying themselves.” I said to Bizarro as I poured a new glass of Punch and handed it to him. Bizarro enthusiastically drank the Punch as if it were the nectar of the gods.
“Bizarro am have big fun at Pinky party. How Trick?” He asked.
“Trixie is having a splendid time. Trixie must admit, she did not expect this many ponies to attend the party.”
“It because you am Great and Strong.” He told me. I’ll admit, I blushed a little at that compliment.
“W-well Trixie would have not been able to do it without you.” He seemed pleased with my response as his smile grew a little bit more. Truth be told I’ve never really needed to rely on anypony else for my acts. Even on the rare occasions where I would take up an assistant they were more of a nuisance and a hinderance than a good assistant. But Bizarro was completely different. I preformed tricks that should have been impossible to perform. Speaking of….
“By the way Bizarro, if it’s not too much to ask, Trixie…. I was actually somewhat interested in learning how you levitated without magic, or changed how much you weigh. I doubt those weird words you told me to say actually did anything.”
Bizarro tapped an index finger to the side of his nose as he leaned in closer. “Trick know rule. Magic mares am never reveal secret.”
“But you’re a stallion.” I replied with a mischievous grin.
“Same rule still am apply.” I rolled my eyes at Bizarro and took another sip of my punch.
“Where you get muffin?” He asked, pointing at the muffin in my hand.
“Oh, just a present from one of the audience members. I don’t really like muffins though, I’m more of a cupcake mare.”
“Ah, is ok if Bizarro have muffin?” He asked. I decided to share it with him, after all hay muffins were always too dry for my taste.
As Bizarro took a bite of the muffin, his eyes widened at the taste. “Mmm. This am good corn muffin.”
I raised an eyebrow and smiled a little. “Corn muffin? Who puts corn in a muffin? It’s a hay muffin.” I told him, he suddenly started choking and coughing up bits of the muffin while hitting his chest after I said that.
“Are you okay?!” I asked him worryingly.
“Bizarro am fine. *cough cough* Wrong pipe.” He smiled weakly at me.
I put a hand on his muscular back and tried to guide him to a table. “Ok, why don’t you just sit down for a moment and Trixie will get you some punch?”
Bizarro nodded before an look of dread washed over his face. “Um, Trick? What am punch made of?” He asked.
“Don’t worry, Trixie is pretty sure it’s non-alcoholic fruit punch.” Bizarro let out a sigh of relief. I guess he must be a teetotaler. He definitely will NOT like the Nobles of Canterlot if that’s the case.
TWILIGHT POV
Trixie and Bizarro have been sitting at their table for nearly two and a half hours by now just laughing and swapping stories. From what I overhead, casually heard over my own conversation which I was definitely paying more attention to, Bizarro was from some place called “Pencil-vania.” in some land called “America”.
It’s odd, I’ve never heard of these places in any geography books. Then again not all of Equis has been explored. Even after thousands of years there are still magical wendigo storms that feed off of sailors anger, making it virtually impossible to explore past the storms. But if this “Pencil-Vania” is actually past the storms then how did he get here?
He mentioned something about a Wizard convention in his home town where he wanted to meet an artist. I was a little confused as to why an artist would attend a Wizard convention but that wasn’t as important as the idea of a Wizard convention itself. Wizards are a rare group of unicorns who have dedicated more time in learning about magic than even I have. So for there to be enough unicorns who could become wizards to create a type of convention was a fascinating idea. Maybe one of the Wizards there used a type of long-range teleportation spell on Bizarro. But even if that were the case it would take the magical equivalent of two or maybe three Celestia’s to both teleport something living to the other side of the world, and to teleport it through a thick magic storm.
The more I learned about Bizarro the more questions I had. Questions I could probably get answers to if I just walk up and ask. But what if he says no? What if being too direct I accidentally insult him and he never tells me anything?! What if—
“Twilight, your mane’s starting pop out again.” Spike said as he laid a hand on my shoulder.
I quickly patted my mane so it was more manageable. “Thanks Spike. Im sorry, I just have some things on my mind.” I said as I turned back and glanced at Bizarro’s back. As I did so, he took out a napkin and added a tally mark to it. How odd…
“Well, looks ta me that it ain’t something, rather it’s somepony.” Applejack pointed out.
“Oh my, Twilight. Are you perhaps infatuated with young Bizarro? Despite how he dresses I do have to admit that he is quiet the catch.” Rarity said.
“N-no! It’s not like that. I’m just interested in what his story is. Who is he, where did he come from, and how in Equestria did he do all those tricks earlier?”
“They’re just that Twi, tricks. Bozo is a no-good liar and a dirty cheat.” Dash interjected as she crossed her arms.
“Oh don’t be like that Dashie. You’re just upset because you got your flank handed to you by a stallion.” Pinkie Pie surprisingly said. Wow, and here I thought Applejack was blunt when it came to honesty.
Rainbow Dash was not pleased with Pinkie’s sudden blunt truth. “There’s no way a stallion could beat me at arm wrestling without cheating! I even tried to cheat by using two hands and he still won! The only way he could beat a cheater is if he was a cheater!”
“Or he’s just better than ya.” Applejack playfully jabbed.
“Nopony is better than Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow Dash said as she planted both of her palms on the table and pushed herself up. “Hey Bozo! Ready for round three!?” She called out to Bizarro.
“You am sure? Maybe thumb wrestle am more your pace. Beside, you still no say Trick am Great and Strong like we bet.” Bizarro said back, causing Rainbow Dash to go red in the face as she ground her teeth together.
“FINE! TRIXIE IS GREAT AND STRONG! NOW CAN WE ARM WRESTLE ALREADY!?” Rainbow Dash shouted.
TRIXIE POV
UGH! Why does that blue mare have to keep distracting Bizarro? We were having such a nice talk about magic tricks he saw back home. I mean, making a statue the size of a building disappear without magic is incredible. I’ll have to try something similar with a smaller statue. And on another note, it’ll give me an excuse to get a statue of myself.
Bizarro quickly apologized for cutting our delightful conversation short as he and Rainbow Dash, as I found out her name was, made their way to a two-pony table and prepared for another arm wrestling competition. I already knew how it would play out so I didn’t pay much attention to it. Instead I was thinking about our trip to Canterlot.
It would take roughly two to two and a half weeks to travel to Canterlot by wagon. If we took the train we could be there in a few hours, but then I would have to leave my wagon here. I know this seemed like a nice town, but I didn’t feel comfortable just leaving it here. Thankfully Bizarro understood when I told him about it and said it would be fun to perform in Canterlot with me. For some reason Bizarro has a bad habit of calling it “Camelot”. I tried to get him to pronounce it correctly, but the closest we got was Cans-lot. Note to self, don’t let Bizarro talk too much when we get there. Celestia knows what those snooty nobles would do or say if Bizarro even “dared” to misspeak in front of a noble.
I looked back over at Bizarro and noticed that he hadn’t moved his arm yet. He’s probably waiting for Rainbow Dash to tire herself out so he can beat her on round one. HA! That’ll definitely put that mare in her place.
My attention was then brought to a lavender unicorn mare with a dark two-toned purple mane and tail who had approached me and held her hand out.
“Hi Trixie. I’m Twilight Sparkle, and I was hoping that I could pick your brain a bit. If it’s okay that is.” She said.
I accepted Twilight’s hand shake and gestured to Bizarro’s empty chair. “Of course, Mrs. Sparkle, Trixie always loves talking to her adoring fans.”
She sat in the chair across from me and noticed Bizarro’s napkin which had 38 tally marks on it. “Oh, what’s this?” Twilight asked. I shrugged my shoulders.
“Trixie isn’t sure. About every five or so minutes Bizarro would add another tally mark. When Trixie asked him, he said something about counting glances. Trixie wasn’t sure what he meant by that.” For some reason my response seemed to make Twilight blush a little.
“O-oh! I wonder what that could mean. I mean, it’s not like he has eyes in the back of his head or anything like that… right?” She asked sheepishly.
“Trixie doubts it. But what made you say that Mrs. Sparkle?”
“Just Twilight is fine, but to answer your second question… um…. no reason?”
I gave Twilight a curious glance, which for some reason caused her to sweat profusely as she was caught under my gaze before I took a sip of punch and she seemed to visibly relax.
“So Twilight, what brings you to the Great and Powerful Trixie’s humble table?”
“Well I was really interested in learning about some of the magic you used during your performance. I’m actually practicing magic myself currently. Just this morning I was able to use 25 new types of spells that I haven’t used before, but none of them could even compare to your magic.”
Oh wow, was I glad I swallowed my punch before she finished talking. 25... 25 new SPELLS!? She did that in one morning!? Impressive doesn’t even begin to describe that.
I tried to keep up a calm facade under this new information. “25? That’s an impressive amount for one morning. What type of spells were they?”
“Nothing too special. Just some creation spells, matter manipulation spells, transmogrification, and a hair growth spell. Nothing compared to what you and Bizarro did. I couldn’t even sense the magic you were using.”
I smiled and tried to keep calm as she talked about magic like it was foals play. “Well that’s the secret Twilight. A Maregician doesn’t rely on magic for their illusions. That would make it too easy for unicorns like us. The trick is to make it look like magic.”
“I get that, but I noticed that during some of your less complex tricks you were using small spells to help your illusions, but you didn’t use any with Bizarro.”
Crap! She was observing my magic during the show? I was almost certain that the enchantment on my wagon would hide spells that small. Twilight is even more talented than I originally thought. “Very perceptive of you Twilight. Trixie would be impressed if she wasn’t so aggravated.”
“Why thank you… wait, what?” She asked dumfounded.
I need to keep calm and not blow up at this Mare.
“Twilight, when a showmare like Trixie comes to perform a certain amount of trust is put between them and the audience. The showmare expects the audience to have fun and enjoy the show while the showmare must do everything in their power to make the audience happy. Mares like you who try to dissect our performance make it less fun for the audience as they are simply told how the trick works. And then there was that Rainbow Dash mare who tried to call out Trixie and Bizarro which would have forced us back on the road with no Bits. If she didn’t enjoy Trixie’s performance then she had every right to leave. Instead she attempted to turn the audience against Trixie and Bizarro and ruin their fun.” I explained.
“oh… I uh…. wow… I didn’t really think of it that way before. I’m really sorry Trixie, I just got so interested in your performance that I wanted to see if I could do it too. And I’m also sorry for how Rainbow Dash acted, she’s got a pretty big ego. And being shown up by a Stallion like that was a direct hit to her ego. Again, I’m really sorry Trixie.”
“It’s alright Twilight. Trixie forgives you, she only asks that you don’t tell the foals about it. Trixie wants her magic to be seen as fun and creative, not scientific.” I told Twilight. She nodded in understanding.
“Alright, I promise I won’t tell anypony, Trixie. I understand how important your profession is to you. You and Bizarro must have practiced really hard to do those tricks.”
“Oh, we didn’t actually. Trixie met Bizarro in the Everfree Forest on her way here. After he helped Trixie fix her Wagon’s wheel he asked if Trixie could help him get to Canterlot. Trixie agreed on the condition that Bizarro would be her assistant for both her performance in Ponyville and Canterlot.”
Twilight was slack jawed. “So then…. you didn’t plan any of those tricks?” She asked.
“No. All Bizarro was supposed to do was pass items to her and look pretty. Trixie was very happy to find out how great of an assistant Bizarro really was.”
I smiled when I said that. It was a shame that Bizarro would only be my assistant for one more performance. But I was going to make sure to pull off all the stops when we got to Canterlot so I could really dazzle the audience with my tricks.
I looked over Twilight’s shoulder as the crowd had once again burst into a roar of applause and cheering as Bizarro once again won the Arm wrestle by a knock out. I was about to congratulate Bizarro when those younger colts, Snips and Snails came bursting through the door shouting my name.
“TRIXIE!” They screamed in unison.
“What, what’s wrong?” I asked. Snips smiled nervously as he stuttered.
“eh-hahaha, W-we-we have a tiny problem.” Snips said.
“Actually, it’s a big one.” Snails said.
“And what is it?” I asked them before a loud roar echoed throughout Ponyville as the ground begun to violently shake.
“WHAT THE HAY WAS THAT!?” I shouted to nopony in particular.
“Oh great and powerful Trixie, you’ve got to vanquish the Ursa.” Snips said to me.
“Yeah, vanquish so we can watch!” Snails added on.
“WHAT?!” I screamed as I ran out the door to look outside followed by everypony else who was at the party. Sure enough, a giant celestial blue bear with red and yellow eyes was glaring at our small crowd with a furious gaze.
“It took a lot of trouble to get that thing here.” Snips commented off handily.
“Wait. You brought this out here? Are you out of your little pony minds?!” I said to them.
“But you’re the Great and Powerful Trixie.” Snips said worryingly.
“Yeah, remember? You defeated an Ursa Major.” Snails said, clearly not realizing the amount of danger we were all in.
“I can’t!” I shouted.
“WHAT?!” Snips and Snails shouted back.
“I can’t. I never have. Nopony can vanquish an Ursa Major, I just made the whole story up to make me look better. I can’t beat that thing, only somepony powerful like… Twilight!” I exclaimed, getting her attention.
“You’ve got to get rid of this thing! You’re the only pony I know with the magical abilities to do it!”
‘Um… o-ok. I can do this, stand back everypon-eiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!” Twilight screamed as she was swatted away by the Ursa and flew off into the distance.
We are so Bucked!
TWILIGHT POV
I screamed as I went sailing through the air until I was caught by somepony, most likely Rainbow Dash. Only she could move that fast.
"Phew. Thanks for the save Rain..." My words died in my throats as I looked up and saw the white skinned stallion that came with Trixie to the town. My heart was beating a mile a minute as I just realized at that moment he was holding me Husband style.
"Am you ok?" He asked me. I simply nodded, awestruck by the stallion. I didn't notice it at the time, but we were actually floating fifty feet in the air. I clung to his chest for dear life as I looked at the ground. But, for some reason we weren't hurdling to the ground, instead we were slowly descending like a leaf on the wind. I looked back up to my savior awestruck. How did he do this?! He doesn't have wings!
I wasn’t able to wonder about it for long as the roar of the Ursa Major brought me back to the situation.
“I have to stop it!” I shouted, leaping out of Bizarro’s arms and running towards the terrifying bear, only for Bizarro to fly right past me towards the creature. I stopped running for a moment to look at him in awe. He had just traveled faster than a train going downhill.
How was he able to move so fast? More importantly, what is he doing!? He’ll get hurt if he rushes towards that Ursa Major.
"Bizarro am here to ruin the day!~" He sung out as he flew even faster.
Bizarro flew towards the Ursa’s face, hitting the large behemoth with his bare fist. Once the Ursa was disoriented Bizarro grabbed the Ursa Major by the scruff of it’s neck and slowly lifted it into the air. As he ascended into the sky he turned the Ursa Major upside-down and crashed into the ground with the Ursa which seemed to knock it out cold. As the Ursa was laying on it’s back unconscious Bizarro then grabbed its hind legs and slowly flew into the air while carrying it.
This is just… unbelievable doesn’t even begin to describe it! He’s on par with Pinkie Pie when it comes to breaking the laws of physics!
He then started spinning around in a circle while holding the Ursa’s legs, steadily building up momentum until he let go of the giant monster and it went sailing towards the Everfree. Bizarro was still floating in the air as he watched the Ursa disappear off in the horizon. I gazed at the glorious figure that was Bizarro as he floated like a god amoung mares.
I was interrupted from my staring as I felt somepony poke my arm. As I looked down, I noticed Snips and Snails nervously smiling up at me.
“uhuheh, we’re sorry about waking up the Ursa Major.” Snips said.
“Yeah. We just wanted to see AWESOME magic!” Snails said with a cheerful smile.
“Don’t worry colts, it wasn’t your fault.” I said in a motherly tone like Celestia would. “This is all Trixie's fault!" I screamed at the damned mare. If she hadn't influenced those colts, then this would have never happened. I started to walk towards her, lighting up my horn when I felt a firm hand on my shoulder. Expecting to see Applejack I turned around and was instead once again greeted to the sight of the stallion, Bizarro~.
"Am you smart?" The dreamy stallion asked me.
I blushed a little at his compliment. "O-oh. Y-yes actually, I'm Princess Celestia an—” Before I could finish my sentence the incredibly alluring stallion did something even more unexpected. He lightly flicked my horn.
"Then how am this Trick fault? Trick not tell colts to go play with bear. Colts do dumb thing to impress girl. If anyone should get trouble, it them.” He said. I was completely stunned.
"We can't punish them, they're children, and colts no less. You can't expect colts to know better." I told him.
"Me knew better than to play with star bears. Why they not know? Why no one tell them?"
"B-because—“
"Trick do nothing wrong. Trick would have tried to fight off star bear if Trick weren’t so small and frail.“
"Hey!" Trixie shouted.
"Point be, Trick no tell colts to get bear. So Trick say she fought bear, so she lie! It her job to make fake stories. Not am Trick fault colts do dumb thing to make Trick smile." He let go of my shoulder, and I secretly missed the touch of his firm hand as he walked over to Trixie.
"Let go Trick, star bear gone and me am need to find way home." He told her before walking towards the remains of Trixie's wagon which must have been crushed by the Ursa as it came into town.
"Um... me can fix that."