As it turned out, I was not the first human in Equestria. Hell, I wasn't even the only one at the time. Apparently, around seven or eight hundred years ago, humans started popping up, and ever since then a couple dozen or so arrived every year, usually as ponies but sometimes other races, though all are referred to as Terrans to prevent confusion. Of course, a few years ago, they encountered a different kind of human...
Bronies.
“Naturally, most of them end up here, eventually, wishing to meet their favorite characters,” Rarity explained as we sat in one of the counseling rooms, just she and I.
“And then they try to adopt Scootlaoo,” I added, trying not to chuckle.
“Yes. We understand why, but it causes her poor parents such grief.”
We sat in silence for several seconds before I finally asked the question that had been on my mind. “So... What happens now? Ah mean, is there a way home?”
Rarity sighed, losing her own jovial attitude. “No, I'm afraid not, but there are plenty of us that have gone through the exact same thing you are now and are perfectly willing to help you through this.”
I laughed mirthlessly. Honestly, that was the answer I expected, yet I very much hoped it wouldn't be the one I got. “So, Ah just settle down and start over? Just like that?”
Rarity winced. “Well, I'm not certain. You see, you're a rather unique case. Whenever humans come here, they usually come as a pony, or sometimes a griffin, zebra, or other race. There are even a few that are dragons... but they are always a preexisting sapient race. You're race, though, simply doesn't exist. At least, not that we are aware.”
She let that sink in for a while before continuing. “However, Twilight is contacting the princesses, and will be formulating a few tests and experiments to discover as much about your new body as possible. I am certain they will be able to get to the bottom of this mystery.
“In the meantime, we can at least begin to acclimate you to Equestrian culture. Being a brony, some of this will come as no surprise, however, for that same reason, much will be difficult. For example, you are, I assume, well aware that there is no nudity taboo, however, most ponies still wear some kind of pocketed clothing - a saddle bag, or pouch belt - at all times. Regardless what the show indicates, we can't just pull things out of thin air, and so we wear something in which to carry our essentials.”
I smirked. “So, the fashion pony leads off with clothin’, huh?”
Rarity tittered. “Actually, this is the first subject we acclimation counselors are told to address. The fact that it aids my business is simply a favorable coincidence.”
“Really? That's not the reason you became an 'acclimation counselor'?” I made sure to give a friendly chiding smile, so she wouldn't think I was honestly accusing her.
She responded with obviously hammed up indignation, “Heavens no. I simply wish to help my fellow Terrans.”
I blinked dumbly. With that one statement, she defeated me in our duel of snark. “‘Fellow Terrans’?”
Smirking triumphantly, she explained, “I was born Maria Dunn, in a small town in New England. When I was seven and a half, my parents and I were on a road trip when the road was suddenly replaced by fields of grass near Winnyapolis. Admittedly, I remember very little of Earth, but what I do, I remember fondly.”
Out of everything, my mind latched onto one thing, “So... if your name was Maria, why did you change it?”
“A number of reasons, really,” Rarity replied. “Like most, I wanted to fit in with a more 'pony' name. However, initially I had taken the name Ivory. After I got my cutie mark, though, I decided to change it to Rarity, to better reflect my desire to create unique clothes that would be considered a rarity.”
“So... you just up and changed your name, just like that?” I asked.
“Oh, yes.” the posh mare confirmed. “Names in pony culture are less static than humans'. It is believed a name should identify who you are, not what your parents called you when you were born. Thus, if a pony feels they are no longer the same pony they once were, they will often change their name. Most do so when they receive their cutie marks to better reflect their talent, or when they get married to fit a family theme.”
“Well, that would explain why pony names always seem to match their talent. Maybe Ah should take on a new name.”
“Well, while you think about that, I do have a few things to give you.” A box, about the size of my head, levitated towards me. “This has some rather helpful information, including information on what is and isn't socially appropriate, and groups that lend aid to new arrivals. It also contains a simple belt with several pouches. It's not much, but I include a 'new customer discount' coupon to each of these packages, my own personal addition. There are also a few forms for an identification card, citizenship, employment, etcetera.”
“Thank ya, kindly,” I said. “Ah'll read through it as soon as possible.”
“Well, now all we can do is await word from the princesses. Twilight sent them a letter, asking for advice on how to best go about integrating you into society. After all, you do at least resemble a carnivorous animal, and many may react poorly to you. The closest thing we have to experience for this is griffins and minotaurs, both being omnivores, but both are recognized as civilized. Our hope is that the princesses have encountered something similar to yourself. While I have no doubt they will be interested in you, I assure you they will have no ill will toward you, whatsoever.”
And, of course, because she spoke with such certainty, Fate took that as a challenge. At that very moment, twin flashes of light, gold and indigo, filled the small space and I found myself quite violently slammed into a wall, two blades pressing against my throat.
It was then that I learned the angel of death wasn't some hideous, skeletal form, draped in a black cloak. No, she was a terrifying beauty, eyes aflame with the cleansing flames of the sun, a mane like a blazing corona, and voice like a deafening supernova.
“Why have you returned?!” Death's voice boomed. “Has your master been freed?!”
Now, I will admit that not only did I begin sobbing like a five year old, but I did, in fact, wet myself. Why am I completely okay with admitting that? That's actually very easy...
A god was about to murder my soul!
Anyone that claims they wouldn't do the same, or worse, is a liar or an idiot. Thankfully, though, my reaction seemed to work in my favor. Seeing me reduced to the whimpering ball of solidified pathetic, the irate princess released me, blinking away her eyes-of-fiery-death in surprise.
“Sister, something tells me he is not the beast he appears to be,” said a beautiful, musical voice from behind White Death.
“Yes... it would appear so,” said another, equally lovely voice from the fire demon.
I slowly looked up to see who couldn't be any other than the princesses of Equestria, Celestia and Luna, and let me tell you, the show is downright blasphemous in their depiction of the two most radiant beings to ever grace existence.
Celestia's coat wasn't simply white, it was iridescent, shining with various warm colors depending on how the light hit it. Her mane wasn't just the three wavy colors, but an actual, honest to god, aurora. Her eyes... How can I even explain her eyes? It's like they were many colors, yet none of them. You could look her in the eyes for hours and not be able to figure out if they were blue, red, green, yellow, or anything in between. The only thing I can say for certain is whatever color they are, they were warm, reminding me of a grassy hill on a warm summer afternoon.
Then there was Luna. Like Celestia, her coat also seemed to shine with various colors on top of the dark blue, almost reminiscent of an oil slick, but far more beautiful. Also like Celestia, her eyes seemed to be many colors, though hers showed cooler colors that brought the feeling of stargazing during a meteor shower on a cool autumn evening. Her mane, though, was her most striking feature. Peering into the void of her mane, one could see not only stars, but nebulae, comets, quasars, entire solar systems... I still wonder at times if there's intelligent life in Luna's mane.
Seeing the two god princesses made me realize again how close I was to utter annihilation by one of them. I found myself prostrating before them, begging forgiveness for whatever sin I had committed..
“Look, Tia, you traumatized the poor thing,” Luna chided. Somehow, her teasing tone actually took away some of the magic of seeing them. With that one joke, they became... well, not regular ponies, that's not possible for these two, but... less mythical, if that makes sense. And you know, I'm glad she did. It made them far less terrifyingly intimidating. They were still scary as all hell, though.
“Y-yo-your highnesses,” At least Rarity's trembling voice told me I wasn't the only one affected by their... dramatic entrance. “May I ask... what exactly caused this... misunderstanding?”
Celestia looked back at Rarity and actually managed to look sheepish, obviously not intending to scare Rarity. “I... must apologize, to both of you, it seems. When Twilight wrote me, I feared an old enemy had returned.”
“That is because she didn't get past his description,” Luna half-scolded her sister. “I assume, considering where we are, you are a Terran? A human from Earth?”
“Y-yes, your highness,” I stammered, still quite afraid.
“Perhaps it is best that I leave. It is obvious my presence is causing you undue stress,” Celestia stated, my state not lost on her. “I am truly sorry. Perhaps in the future we can speak under better circumstances. I will be at Twilight's library when you are finished.”
“Give her my greetings,” called Luna before Celestia vanished in a flash.
Luna smiled down at me. “Please, rise. I believe you deserve an explanation, and I would prefer to speak to you face to face.”
Slowly, I stood upright. It was strange how natural it was to switch between walking on two and four legs. It was sure handy, though.
“As I am sure you have already deduced, you are not the first being to have this form,” Luna began, taking a seat beside me. “Long ago, a tyrant ruled over Equestria. He was a cruel ruler that treated mortals as nothing but his personal slaves.
“His agents were a powerful race of warriors called Tigarins, the race in which you now belong. They were created by him, and served him without question. After his reign was toppled, his agents were sealed along with him in the depths of Tartarus.
“When we read Twilight's description of you, we feared one of his agents had escaped and was moving to free his master. We should not have jumped to conclusions. For that, I apologize.”
I considered her words for a few seconds before releasing a shuddering breath and finding my voice. “Ah-Ah suppose if you acted to protect your subjects, Ah can forgive the lapse in judgment. We all make mistakes from time to time, even immortals, Ah guess. Just... give me some time to convince myself of all that.”
“I thank you for your understanding, Mister... Ah, I do believe we are long overdue for proper introductions. I am Princess Luna Nocturna, goddess of the night sky and those that dwell beneath. The one with the bad first impressions is my sister, Celestia Solara, goddess of the sun.”
I was taken back a little by the declaration of divinity. I had always just assumed they were just powerful ponies, not goddesses.
When I noticed Luna looking at me expectantly, I realized I still had to introduce myself. I was about to when what Rarity told me about names came back to me. I was starting a new life, so why not take on a new name? The only question was, what should my new name be?
I wanted it to reflect not only my admittedly badass new form, but who I am. Thus, I found the perfect name. A name that not only reflects my new, badass form, but also a little of who I am.
I looked back to Luna, who seemed to understand already what was going through my mind.
With a pleased grin, I said, “Call me, Shirotora.”