RAINBOW DASH POV
What is he up to?…
I stared at the wagon that weird stallion went into after walking through Ponyville with it earlier today. I don’t know why, but I didn’t trust this guy. He’s a stallion sure, so he shouldn’t be a real problem or anything, even if he’s as big as Celestia, but something about him just didn’t seem right.
As I was looking at the wagon a small crowd formed nearby and Twilight and Spike finally came up. Twilight was wearing her usual sky-blue shirt, her purple skirt that had her cutie mark on the side that matched her purple leg warmers. While Spike was wearing his usual dark green cargo shorts and purple hoodie.
“Hey girls, is the new stallion in that wagon?” Twilight asked.
“I believe so Darling, though Rainbow Dash is the only one who got a good look at him.” Rarity told her.
“Yeah, he’s in there alright. He’s been in there for about ten minutes.” I said, not taking my eyes off of the yellow and red wagon.
“Really, what’s he like?” Twilight asked.
“About as tall as Celestia, white skin, blue costume with a red cape.” I replied mechanically. “He also has his Cutie mark on the center of his chest and a big rock hanging by some rope around his neck, I’m not sure what it is though.”
Applejack whistled. “Tall as Celestia? Hot dang, he must be bigger than Big Mac.” Applejack said with a tip of her stetson.
“Yeah, I think he’s an earth stallion. I know I didn’t see a horn on his head, but I couldn’t see his back because of that cape.”
Applejack had an unmistakable hungry twinkle in her eyes. “I see. Ya think he’s single? Or at the least has a small herd?”
“I didn’t see anypony else with him. But I’m warning you AJ, something about this guy seems off.” I warned her.
“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.
“He was just acting kinda odd. He dressed really weird, didn’t talk to anypony, and now he just parks his wagon in the middle of the road.”
“Oh! Maybe that’s his house and he’s moving into Ponyville! Oh colt, now I can throw a ‘Welcome to Ponyville Party!’ ” Pinkie Pie added.
“I hope he’s nice…” Fluttershy added, as she twirled her pink mane.
“Oh don’t worry Fluttershy, I’m sure he’s really nice.” Twilight reassured her.
Before I could throw my two bits into the conversation an obnoxious Mare’s voice shouted from inside the wagon.
“COME ONE. COME ALL. AND WITNESS THE AMAZING MAGIC OF THE GRRREAT AND POWERFUL. TRRRIIXIE!” The mysterious mare boasted, as the wagon started to unfold into a stage, and in a flash or bright light a blue mare with blue and white hair wearing a frilly dark purple dress, black skin-tight leggings, purple colored open toed shoes, and a matching cape and wizard hat that was decorated in stars appeared.
“And her lovely assistant, BIZARRO!” She shouted, as a puff of smoke exploded in front of the curtain.
The white skinned stallion with a short black mane that I saw earlier walked out from behind the curtain. He was wearing a skin-tight blue suit that clung to his toned muscles and was slightly ripped at the wrists. He also wore his red underwear on the outside of his costume and hung a yellow sash around the top of it. His red boots and cape also matched his underwear, or I guess outerwear in this case? And then there was his weird cutie mark. It looked like a red snake inside of what looked like a yellow diamond surrounded by a red boarder. The weirdest part of his costume was the oval stone slab hung around his neck and covered most of the cutie mark on his chest. The words, “BIZARRO #1” were crudely carved into the stone with the second R being backwards. I gotta say, Rarity’s reaction was what I expected out of the mare.
BIZARRO POV
Well, here goes nothing.
As I stepped out from behind the curtain and walked up next to Trixie I looked out at the crowd. Sure enough, I saw six of the “Main 7” in their Equestria Girls forms, only with normal ears, tails, and either wings or horns. Thank God they had normal ears, I can’t imagine how hard that would be to explain. If anyone asked about my lack of a tail I could just say I cut it off. But if they had pony ears, I would have been screwed before I stepped foot out of that forest.
Now that I think about it, when they, “Pony-Up” in the show do they lose their human ears or do they have two sets of ears? Whatever, questions for later.
Their clothing was similar to the first movie, albeit with shoes that didn’t look like bellbottom pants were making an immediate comeback. And, like everypony else, God it’s gonna be weird getting used to saying that, they stood up to about the height of my chest.
I was actually pretty surprised to see Spike in the front row as a kid wearing cargo shorts, green sandals, and a purple hoodie. I expected him to be a talking dog like he was in the show.
Spike, instead of having smooth purple skin like everypony else, had purple scales that covered most of his body, with regular purple skin in areas such as his face and palms. He had two green fins for ears that were a lighter shade of green then his hair. Huh, I wonder…
Adjusting myself ever so slightly I looked at Spike’s tail, and sure enough it had a solid single strip of green fur instead of scales that ran down the length of his tail.
My thoughts about dragon anatomy were interrupted as Rarity screamed out, “GOOD HEAVENS, WHO DRESSED THIS POOR STALLION!? HE NEEDS A PROPER MAKEOVER STAT!”
I rolled my eyes at Rarity's theatrics, something that didn't go unnoticed by Rainbow Dash as Trixie continued boasting.
“Watch in awe as The Great and Powerful Trixie preforms the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!” She exclaimed as about a dozen fireworks went off around us. I’ll admit, I was impressed by the pyrotechnics.
I was able to test out my super hearing and heard Rarity and the others talking. It was basically, “Blah, blah, she’s a show off, blah blah.” and Applejack basically said, “blah blah, you shouldn’t brag about your talents, blah.” I’m sorry, but do ponies just not know that’s the job of a showmare. If you aren’t boasting your own feats then you’re doing something wrong. Deciding to give Trixie a hand I stepped up.
“Look at cool things never am see before! Be impress by super magics never saw!” I said as Trixie summoned a bouquet of flowers out of literal thin air. To my surprise, nopony even batted an eye.
SERIOUSLY?! This is Zatana and Houdini levels of magic that would have killed back on Earth.
Of course, Rainbow Dash had to be the one to shout, “Magic-Smagic! BOO!”
Trixie looked like she was about to say something but I cut her off.
“She better at magic than you am.~” I told Rainbow Dash as I walked over to Trixie’s prop box.
Just like we practiced I would bring out the three metal interlocked rings first, then the newspaper and milk pitcher, and finally roll out the box and saw so Trixie could be “cut” in half. Originally, she wanted me to do it but my shoulders were too broad to fit. If we still had time then she wanted to test out her bunny in a hat trick. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a bunny so we had to end up using a squirrel I caught. Little bastard kept throwing nuts at me in the forest.
I walked back up to Trixie with a smug smile as I saw Rainbow Dash glaring at me.
“Ahem. Well if we can get along with Trixie’s performance. Bizarro, my lovely assistant, would you kindly demonstrate to the audience that the three titanium rings in your hands are really connected together?” Trixie asked me.
RAINBOW DASH POV
BUCK THIS STALLION! He thinks he can just call me out like that and get away with it?! Oh, if he does then he’s got another thing coming!
“Ahem. Well if we can get along with Trixie’s performance. Bizarro, my lovely assistant, would you kindly demonstrate to the audience that the three titanium rings in your hands are really connected together?” Trixie asked the stallion. Alright, fine, let’s see your dumb magic trick.
As “Bizarro” pulled on the outer two rings he ended up snapping the center ring in half. A lot of the ponies went slack jawed. Big whoop, like that was ACTUALLY Titanium.
Bizarro smiled sheepishly. “Oopsy, me can fix that!”
Bizarro then picked up the two halves of the ring, turned his back to the crowd, and went behind the curtain. I could have sworn I smelt something burning for a few moments.
He came back out with the three rings interlocked, and the middle one was pretty mangled and looked like it was slightly glowing red. “Me fix it! Ready Trick—er, Bizarro mean Great and Strong Trii… tri…”
“Yes, yes, thank you! Um, let’s move onto the next illusion! Um, Bizarro, fetch the milk and newspaper.” She told him, as he walked back to the box and brought out a rolled-up newspaper and jug of milk.
“Oh big deal! SHE’S JUST GONNA USE HER UNICORN MAGIC TO MAKE IT DISAPPEAR!” I shouted out, both of them looked pretty pissed before Bizarro smiled.
“Oh? Want bet?” He asked.
“Bizarro, what are you doing?” Trixie tried to ask Bizarro in a hushed voice as she nervously looked between me and him.
“Bizarro am prove Trick no use unicorn magic. It something Trick can do because Trick am Great and Strong. Everypony, look at Trick horn while Bizarro do magic Trick taught him.” Bizarro said as he crossed his arms and looked at me with a shit eating grin.
Him? He’ll do magic? Alright fine, let’s see him squirm his way out of this.
Half of the crowd was focused on Trixie while I and the girls kept our eyes on Bizarro. He held the newspaper up to show that it was an ordinary newspaper before he rolled it up into a cone and brought it closer to his face, actually blocking his view of the audience as he started to pour the pitcher of milk into it. When he finally finished the pitcher, he put it down and held the rolled-up newspaper like a torch before turning it over and…
Letting a perfectly frozen cone of rock-solid milk hit the stage?! I looked around at everypony, waiting for somepony to call out and say they saw Trixie’s horn light up.
“HEY! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T LET TRIXIE DO MAGIC!” I shouted. He just grinned at me while he spoke.
“Trick not do no-thing but teach Bizarro. Bizarro didn’t need any help from Trick.” He said, I looked over at Applejack and she leaned over closer to me.
“This fella’s weird, Dash. It’s like everything he says is a lie, but the intention behind it’s the truth. It just plum don’t make sense. Even when he says his name it’s like he’s sometimes lying about it, but other times he’s tellin’ the truth about it.”
“So he’s lying about Trixie helping him?’ I asked, Applejack shook her head to tell me no.
“Nah. He’s lyin’ about Trixie teachin’ ‘im, but not about the second part.” Applejack whispered to me.
“AROUND CLAP FOR TRICK!” Bizarro shouted, as he gestured both hands towards the mare on stage. For the most part, Trixie looked completely shell shocked.
“NEXT, WATCH TRICK NO USE UNICORN MAGIC TO MAKE BIZARRO FLY!” He shouted before laying himself on the stage. Trixie kneeled down next to him with a worried expression and whispered something into his ear before he whispered something back.
“A-alright! B-BEHOLD AS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE MAKES BIZARRO FLOAT WITHOUT LEVITATION!” She said, before pulling a wand out of her hat and looking down at Bizarro nervously.
“Um… L-lemgardi Leviosa?” She said.
Suddenly Bizarro started to float up… and up, and up! Everyone in the crowd gasped, even Trixie looked stunned. I think the only one not freaking out was Bizarro as just had his eyes closed with a dopey grin on his face. He stayed in the air floating on his back for a good twenty seconds before he slowly floated back down to the stage. He jumped to his feet and held his arms out. “TADA!” He shouted, the crowd roared in applause.
Bizarro then grabbed Trixie and held sat her on his shoulder. She was visibly blushing and looked like she was about to protest before Bizarro said, “Who am Great and Strong!?”
“TRIXIE! TRIXIE!” Snips and Snails shouted simultaneously, before they were suddenly joined in by a chorus of ponies shouting Trixie’s name.
“For next trick, watch Trick make Bizarro lighter than am feather heavy!”
Bizarro leaned down to Trixie’s ear before she looked at him with a bewildered expression.
“Um, Y-yes! Trixie will lift this b-big heavy Stallion, l-l-like he was a feather!” Trixie pointed her wand at Bizarro and shouted, “Spellius Convenious!”
It didn’t really look like anything happened, no noise, no explosions, no lights, nothing. Bizarro then held his hand out for Trixie to grab, which she did, as she begun to lift Bizarro off of the ground with one hand while he was as stiff as a plank. Even more cheers roared from the audience after that. I had enough of this.
“OH COME ON! IT’S ALL JUST A BUNCH OF TRICKS! I BET TRIXIE IS SECRETLY USING HER UNICORN MAGIC!” I shouted out, sowing the seeds of doubt in the crowd. Try escaping this one Mr. Bozo and Great and Powerful Showoff.
I actually leaned back a bit when Bizarro glared at me before he jumped off of the stage. “Trick, not using unicorn magic! Trick am doing this on her own!”
“Oh yeah, sure she is! I bet you’re not even that heavy! Heck, you’re probably just wearing a muscle suit or something, and you’re actually just a scrawny wimp!” I shouted back at him.
Bizarro let out a huff as he bent down to the base of the make shift stage and lifted it, the cart, Trixie, and all her props over his head. With his back still towards us, he looked over his shoulder at me. “Am proof enough for you?”
“Sam hill! Look at that! Ain’t no stallion ever lifted somethin’ like that!” Applejack said.
Bizarro then set the stage back down before hoping back up and whispering to Trixie. She looked a little concerned at first, but nodded her head anyway. Then Bizarro pointed a finger at me.
“Me make bet! Bizarro win, you say Trick am Great and Strong. You win, Bizarro and Trick leave.” He said.
“Oh, you’re on!” I shouted. “Anytime, anyplace, anything. Name the game and I’ll kick your flank at it.”
He turned around and lifted half of a box off of a set of wheels. “Me am sorry Trick, me need cutting box.” He said before walking a bit away from the stage and putting the box on the ground. He then sat down cross legged and put his elbow on the table with his hand outstretched. OH HE DID NOT JUST CHALLENGE ME TO AN ARM WRESTLE!
“You’re on!” I shouted, as I flew over to the table and took my place. half of the crowd and the rest of the girls came over to watch us while Trixie kept going on with her show.
I grabbed his hand as I took my place and… oh wow… His hand is actually really firm. And his smug smile in this lighting is really… wow~.
HEY! Focus Brain! You aren’t gonna go easy on him just because he’s a stallion! Just gotta make this quick so he and Trixie can scram.
“Bizarro are ready when you am.” He said, still keeping that cocky smile plastered on his face. The crowd moved to either side of us to get a good look of both of our faces. Good, now they’ll be able to see this stallion cry.
Oh… Wow, that actually sounded kinda screwed up. Meh. That’s the Therapist’s problem to worry about. That’s what I pay her for after all.
“On three. Ready?” I asked, he nodded his head. “One… THREE!” I put all my strength into my arm to take Mr. Bozo down in an instant, only for his arm to not even move!
“Oh, we start?” He asked before he slowly applied pressure on my arm and moved it back at a snail’s pace. There was an audible gasp that washed over the crowd. I fought with all my strength, eventually saying “Buck it” and using both hands, but he just kept going! Soon my right hand delicately touched the table and he let go.
“Best two of three?” He asked with a tooth smile. It was only now that I noticed his yellow and crooked teeth. Oh Celestia he looks like he eats rocks and… wow his Canines are prominent, even more so than a Pegasus. What is this guy’s diet?
“Oh, we’re going Best out of 50 if it means I can take you down!” I said as I got back into position. Ain’t no way I’m walking away from a challenge.