She didn't get why she did it but this had become a pattern. A routine. Awake, rise, trot, reach, curse, shout, trot some more then slumber from exhaustion. Then, repeat.
She didn't know what she was moving towards. Why she kept on walking forward. Why she kept on scanning for weakpoints when deep down she knew there wasn't one.
It was the hope. Hope that she'd find one.
So as she did upon every awakening once her reserves had been restored, she reached and kept reaching till it hurt which is where she could feel the seal around her. She could feel it keeping her tethered to this realm. Could feel it every time she reached out to the stars and tried to move them even an inch. But she could never do a thing and always came up with nothing.
134,009 She thought. Wasn't sure. Didn't care. Her mind reeled as she'd been wandering. Kept on wandering, never tiring, never leaving behind a single print in this vast field of damned star speckled grass. No idea if she was making progress or not. Only had this odd suspicion that something was watching and she wasn't sure why it wasn't showing.
The vague and disturbing sense of being watched returned when she took a step forward only to stumble and drop to her knees. Sparks sputtered like a leaking hose from her horn as she tried to reach out for the 179th time, where she reached up into the heavens as proof of being a Carrier, grabbed the Moon-- felt it resist.
And found her attention drifting elsewhere as that alone was enough to break her focus.
For the umpteenth time she became aware of how alone she. How alone they were. In a field of sparkling white with a sky that held everything that should have been hers. Theirs. It was just them. Just her. Together. And it was painstaking to get up and trot, always feeling like eyes were watching her, and never have a soul she wanted to talk to, as traitors had no right to demand her attention.
In a burst of light the Nightmare vanished and Luna tried not to think about the way the stars flickered, expanding and growing, shrinking and dying or birthing anew. It didn't make sense why they did that. It didn't feel right but didn't feel wrong either. She had a clear understanding of the nature of stars. Their formation from hydrogen, bonded to stardust and heated by a thousand as they expanded and amassed more into themselves from their surroundings. Yet when she looked at these stars they were different. Different from her own in a way she didn't understand. Or maybe couldn't, as the Elements were always hiding things in their own way.
They glowed with her every breathe. Expanded when she became enraged, darkened when she fell to a empty slumber where she was alone and there was not a soul to touch amongst the dreamscape; where even in her own dreams she found herself wandering and never stopping.
For a brief moment she rose, thinking there was someone else in this realm with her but upon twisting and turning she found nothing.
Which is when the anger grew when she recalled him.
The Keeper had not returned. Not after her screams for him to return, not after the spears of light she'd cast off at the Moon hoping to destroy him as he returned to his domain on running tigers made of dying stars, screaming at him in her fit of rage to face him in battle as he was a coward. A coward and if she couldn't have it then she would make him rue the day he'd ever allowed her to wield it.
So every time she rose she now expected him to return. To watch, to say something as he had done the day they first took over Sun and Moon. Though her waiting was to no avail.
It was a cruel joke, Celestia's sort of humor. The kind where she got a slight kick out of annoying others or surprising them in a way that was only slightly amusing. She waited expecting him, sometimes expecting the Enchantress, every time she got up she waited expecting, but never once having those expectations met.
Infuritating.
He hadn't shown his coward face yet. Where those eyeless pits of shifting light and cold bore into her being like a judgemental older brother. And she knew the coward wouldn't come. Not after the first thousand slumbers and not after the next thousand later.
They would not understand. Never had. Never would. She had deserved the chance, a moment to shine. A moment to be free of the Enchantress' charms, to captivate the masses as she had once done centuries ago when chaos fell and balance was restored.
She had given up everything to Equestria and its progress into the future; herself, her body, her mind, her spirit, her friends, her lovers, everything for the citizenry to no longer feel the pressures of pure peasantry and what had her payment been when she demanded a bit more respect? Exile.
Just a moment to go back in time and feel their exuberance at her mere presence, was that too much to ask for? The joy the foals had in their eyes instead of the distant respectful recognition. The way they would bow and prostrate themselves before her as if she were a goddess.
She had missed it, wanted it, needed it--
We deserved it
--and merely wanted a taste of what had once been.
In a explosion of light, the Nightmare swapped places and Luna rested her head on a patch of white sparkling grass, feeling no warmth, no coldness just the sensation that something was touching her and it was as empty as she felt in this Tartarus forsaken realm.
Which is when the anger flared and his words came back in a torrent about 'showing mercy' she grimaced, 'saving her' she slammed her hoof into the immaculate ground and grinded her hoof against the non-existent dirt.
Mercy he said. They think this is mercy? A choked laugh escaped her as her eyes misted over at the sheer absurdity, as unwanted thoughts of Sombra locked away; Tirek sealed in some cage somewhere in hell; Discord trapped in stone, unwanted thoughts forced their way into her mind and she laughed even harder as the tears began to spill and she heard their mocking laughter bounce around in her inner ear.
She laughed. Laughed and laughed. Then sobbed as the ground left no mark of her presence, her tears, or her hatred. Left nothing behind her as she continued to howl and the sparks of encroaching madness flew from her horn as she tried to beat the ground in her disoriented anger to make the ache stop.
Tears spilled. She laughed, swore and cursed as she always did when the frustration had hit its peak. A hundred stars swelled with empathy. Cursing every single one of them as she entertained the thoughts of revenge. Went on like this for awhile till the one good thing about this seal finally played its card again when she got this worked up: she finally tired herself out.
She awoke and when she did the Nightmare rose in the sea of blue that surrounded her. Blue as the sky and sparkles that fluttered all around her.
One hoof moved up, another moved forward and she moved through the dream uncertain of what was to follow. The voice in Nightmare Moon's head whispered to be on her guard and with grim determination she moved on, forward.
As if she were awake there was that odd sense again. That strange sense she was being watched. The odd feeling that was now considered a fact since the Keeper had appeared and she'd seen Cria on the horizons, watching her with sad eyes in the distance as she had made her tired trek through the 127 thousands, refusing to acknwoledge her or say a word across a gap that she doubted this realm would ever let her cover-- then the dream shifted, breaking her thoughts as she was brought into open plains.
For the first time in a long time the sun was setting and if she touched it with her magic she could feel.
Rolling hills of lush green came into existence as she raised Sun. A forest with life that chirped and made sounds and for the first time in a long time Nightmare Moon felt the first pangs of real fear nag at her mind as she completed the cycle.
What is this? She turned, looked around, trying to make her way through the flood of chaos overwhelming her senses after it had been so long.
Birds chirped, owls hooted, eagles cried. Noises and noises and noises and noises and noises and noises and--
"Luna." Silence descended and all was quiet. Slowly two eyes opened, blinked and stared at the shape before her. An alicorn. Grass green, made of leaves and blades of grass, a mane as red as a rose and a coat as green as a stem.
"Luna", the feminine voice called out to her and she looked into somehow familiar eyes. "I've been trying so hard to reach you, you silly little filly."
Stunned. Silent. She didn't move. Didn't dare breathe. Hopeful that perhaps she'd found a hole in the seal, a breach that gave her access to the outside. Nightmare Moon blinked, realized she was staring then fixed a glare on her face as she saved what dignity she had.
"Who are you?" the words were asked cooly.
A frown rose and in careful reply of gentle words "Who comforted you when Princess Amore was assassinated and Sombra went mad for the mare he so loved?"
And she gasped because they hadn't seen each other in years.
"Mistress?" The name was only a barely audible whisper.
"It has been a long time Luna." The response was tinted with a smile.
And for the first time a genuine smile tugged at the Nightmare's lips.
The taller alicorn moved towards the smaller and nuzzled her. They shared it briefly and perhaps it would have lasted longer till the other said, "I heard what happened."
Just like that Nightmare Moon was on the otherside, staring with a cold calm. Eyes slightly narrowed, posture back to stiff and solid, almost unyielding as she regarded the taller alicorn before her.
"How did you find us." The words were barbed with traps aplenty. "You do not convene with the others and I have never spoken of you per your requests. So how. How did you know where we had been imprisoned?"
"How could I not know where my first and only student would be?" Mistress stated with a cryptic reply and an equally cryptic smile.
"That is not an answer", the dark alicorn's tail whipped.
"It sounded like one to me." The taller one's ears twitched.
There was a palpable pause. Nightmare Moon repharsed this time with a "How did you get here?"
"I followed the stars." Came Mistress' response. And as if in reply she looked up to the growing and shrinking lights in the sky above the clear forest grove. "Was it not you who said the stars are our most natural compass?"
Nightmare Moon said nothing for a moment. Then in a burst of light a equally tall Luna stared at her unexpected visitor with the smallest hints of a smile. "Forgive us, Mistress, but the manners of your appearance are not what we expected."
"You have a right to be suspicious." Was the only dismissive reply. "I would be also."
And so they lapsed into a silence as the two regarded one another, and then the taller turned away. "Come, sit with me." Without waiting for a reply, she took off towards a hill.
Luna was quick to follow and in no time they were both sitting atop a incline, watching the surrounding forest before them. Every now and then the noise of a bird or a squirrel jumping branches or some other animal would reach the ears but it would never be as overwhelming as before.
"We hope your appearance means that we have finally discovered a tear in this realm?" Luna's voice was kept neutral, but the hope that lingered in those words was there.
Which was why she couldn't bring herself to look at Mistress when she didn't immediately reply. Instead she kept her posture unyielding and straight, like a true royal would no matter what pressures they faced.
"I am sorry Luna. No, you have not found a tear. I merely was able to squeeze a portion of myself through the tiniest gaps and just barely reach you as you slipped into the dreamscape."
For a moment, Luna became Nightmare Moon again as her expression hardened, but the illusion disappeared with a thought. Measured silence passed as Luna allowed these words to sully her being. Then she said "Why are you here?" Even though she really wanted to ask what good are you to me then?
"I came here to offer you company." Was the cheerful reply. "Though it will only ever be in the dreamscape as that is the best I can manage. I fear I am not powerful enough to enter the realm. But I can at least keep you company whenever you slip into a slumber."
And while this brought some form of satisfaction, it also brought a touch of anger. "Do you desire to lecture us as well, Mistress?"
"Nay. I would not dream of it" came the wry reply.
"Then what use could your company provide that would do nothing but bring us anguish when we awake" was the immediate caustic response as Luna rounded on the alicorn and darkened just a bit more. "We do not require false hope Mistress! We desire a way out!" shouted the Nightmare as she rose and her blackened wings cast shadows across the land. "If you cannot grant us an exit, then leave us be to FIND ONE OF OUR OWN!"
For a long pause those final words echoed across the shadow covered land where a Moon replaced the Sun. Then, stepping back, sitting a distance away, Mistress regarded Luna with a calm and cool eye.
"Temper Luna." Mistress chided, no witty smile, no jovial tone. "It does not become you to lose your temper so easily. I see you handle this power well. Your anger will be your undoing when the time comes for your freedom."
And then the darkness rushed forward in a cloud of indigo and violet, reappearing in solid form as the dark alicorn loomed over the other, greater in size, a mixture between gas and solid. "What do you know of the future" the fallen Princess growled.
"I know what could be." Came that cryptic response. "What might be. What may be. The ifs and mights, the could-a, and should-a. I have looked into the future Luna and in every one, you lose."
The shadows began to slink away as the light began to remerge.
"I can help you Luna." The taller alicorn said to the mass of writhing gas and dust, "a thousand years trapped in this realm with barely any way to expand your magic will leave you rusty. You will be out of touch with the world upon your return. You will be facing those with an understanding in magic you will have to catch up on. You will be out of practice. There is nothing I can do to stop these things."
"But", and the sun peeked over the horizon, "I can help you expand on your magic. I can help you face the next bearers of harmony..." the words began to sink in as Nightmare Moon became solid once more, shrinking and returning to a normal size.
"...that is, if you are willing to let me stay and help?"
And after a long pause, Nightmare Moon turned to look at the ball of fire that bathed the once shadow cast land in rays of light, a glint of hope sparked in her eyes. "Yes. Just as your aid helped awaken my true potential...I trust your teachings will be beneficial once more."
Mistress smiled. "Of course" the rose maned alicorn said with perfect white teeth.
"Let my teachings guide you on your quest."