Window
She spent a lot of her time at the window. Just… sitting there, staring out at nothing in particular. At least, that’s how it appeared. I think we all knew better though. She was staring at everything. Everything for her, at least. For hours at a time she’d watch the sky from a window that was too small in a room that was too cramped. I was reminded of how wrong it was to keep her there every time I visited. I knew why, of course, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was only going to make it worse for her. To be reminded every second of every day of what she lost.
A window far too small, covered with bars anyway. A door that was always locked from the otherside. A bed without sheets.
She didn’t even turn her head when the door opened and I was allowed in.
“What?” Was all she said.
I could feel the tears threatening to fall. “How are you?” I cursed myself as the words left my mouth. They were hollow and meaningless, and I didn’t even want the answer. But the pleasantries were all I had to fall back on.
Finally, she turned her head just enough to see me, and I saw that look in her eye. The same look she’d had ever since that day. Empty, and dull, and the greyest pink I had ever seen. “Fine,” she said, and turned back to the window.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized on reflex alone, and I saw her ear twitch. I knew she was still listening at least. “I shouldn’t have-...” I stopped myself. She was looking at me again. Dead and lifeless.
“When are they gonna let me outta here?” She asked pointedly.
I stared at her for a moment, searching her face for some semblance of the mare that used to be there. “I don’t know,” I admitted quietly. “They won’t let you go until they know you’re not a danger… to yourself…”
For the first time in a long time I saw a flash of emotion in her.
Anger.
“You shouldn’t have stopped me.”
Finally the tears started rolling down my cheeks. “How could I not? When I found you, I-” I choked down a sob, and her anger melted back to the emotionless husk she’d been.
“You had no right,” she said to the sky outside. “It’s my choice. My life. Not yours.”
I forced my gaze to harden even as the trails down my cheeks became darker. “I wasn’t going to let you just throw it away.”
“Throw what away?” She demanded, her tone icy cold. “What do I have left that I could possibly be worth keeping?” Her wing flapped for emphasis, and I found myself staring. She noticed and turned, hiding her back.
I looked away guiltily. “S-sorry.”
She snorted derisively. “No you’re not. You’re the one who put me in here. You’re the one who stopped me. Forced this on me. You don’t regret a damn thing!”
When I found the will to look at her again my eyes wandered to the bruising around her neck. It still looked so fresh. “No, I don’t regret saving you. And I don’t regret having you placed here. You need help, and I will do anything and everything in my power to get it to you.”
“What about what I want!?” She yelled, nearly screaming. I could see the pain behind her glassy eyes and it tore at me like nothing else. “Why don’t I get a say!?”
I sighed, shaking my head. “I will protect you, no matter what. That includes protecting you from yourself.”
She growled angrily before looking back to the window. Her wing flapped again, and I watched as the nub on the other side of her back twitched. “I never asked you to.”
“You didn’t need to,” I said. “I never asked you to come with me to defeat Nightmare Moon, did I? Never asked you to catch me. You did anyway, because you knew it was right.” She ignored me, and I stepped closer. “What happened to that mare? What happened to the mare that charged a dragon to protect her town? The mare that never left her friends hanging?
“What happened to the mare I fell in love with?”
She lifted a hoof and pushed against the glass of the window. “She died.”
I swallowed my tears. “Then who’s sitting in front of me?”
Her eyes fell, and she stared at the ground for a few silent moments. “Nothing,” she said eventually. “I-... I’m nothing. That mare - she died when she lost everything. I’m what’s left - nothing. No one. I’m nothing.”
“Don’t say that.” I couldn’t keep the tremble out of my voice if I tried. “Please - please don’t say that. What about the girls? Your sister? What about me? You still have so much, you can’t-... what are we supposed to do without you?”
To my surprise, she chuckled. It was shallow and callous. “Yeah, it’s all about you, isn’t it? That’s what you said right after it happened, too - that I still had you all. That we’d find a way to get through it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of hearing about how much we still have. There is no we. I lost everything. You lost nothing. And you expect me to keep going because it would hurt you. Can’t you even see how selfish that is?”
“And taking something from us because you lost something isn’t selfish?” I countered, and I saw her bristle.
“I didn’t just lose something!” She raged, whirling around and stomping up to me, our muzzle separated by a hair’s breadth as her glare burned into me. “I lost everything. Everything that made me who I was, everything that I ever wanted. Gone.”
I looked at her through my blurry vision, trying and failing to contain my own sobbing. “Why can’t you see that’s not true?”
She huffed and walked away, lying down on her mattress. “I’m tired.”
“Please, don’t-”
“Just go. Leave me alone.” She rolled onto her side, covering herself with her wing. I watched her for a moment, by crying the only sound in the room, before I turned away and knocked on the door. It was opened, and I glanced over my shoulder.
“I love you, Rainbow Dash,” I said.
“Don’t come back, Twilight,” she muttered. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”